Good housekeeping Parents

“FIRST OF ALL, I'D LIKE TO GIVE PRAISE AND THANKS TO OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN AND THROUGH HIS SON JESUS CHRIST THAT HAS GIVEN ME THE ABILITY TO PLAY SPORTS.”

THAT’S THE WAY RAYFIELD WRIGHT BEGAN HIS ACCEPTANCE SPEECH AT HIS INDUCTION TO THE NFL HALL OF FAME ON AUGUST 5TH OF THIS YEAR. FOR 12 YEARS, BEGINNING IN 1967, RAYFIELD LABORED IN RELATIVE OBSCURITY TO OPEN HOLES FOR CALVIN HILL AND TONY DORSETT AND FEND OFF DEFENSIVE LINEMEN WHO DREW A BEAD ON THE SCRAPPY ROGER STAUBACH.

BUT WHILE HIS PHYSICAL PROWESS MADE HIM EFFECTIVE ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD, IT WAS HIS CHARACTER THAT MADE HIM SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE. HE SAID IN HIS SPEECH:

I REMEMBER GETTING ON MY KNEES WHEN I WAS 10 YEARS OLD BESIDE MY GRANDMOTHER, AND I SIMPLY ASKED GOD SOMETHING. I ASKED HIM IF HE WOULD JUST GIVE ME THE ABILITY THAT I COULD DO SOMETHING, THAT I COULD HELP MY MOTHER AND MY GRANDMOTHER, AND I COULD HELP OTHER PEOPLE. MY GRANDMOTHER TAUGHT ME THE POWER OF PRAYER AND WHAT THAT PRAYER MEANT TO ME. AND IT'S STILL IN FRONT OF ME TODAY.

THAT CHARACTER CAME FROM A MOTHER AND A GRANDMOTHER WHO INSTILLED FAITH AND HOPE IN HIS LIFE. HE SAID OF HIS MOTHER,

MOM, YOU ARE MY ROSE GARDEN, YOU WATERED EACH DAY WITH YOUR LOVE, WITH YOUR FAITH, AND WITH YOUR PRAYERS. YOUR ROOTS ARE DEEPLY INSTILLED IN ME, AND YOUR SOUL IS SO BEAUTIFUL, IN SPITE OF ALL THE PAINFUL THORNS THAT LIFE HAS PUT IN YOUR WAY.

AND THEN HE SAID THIS TO PARENTS LIKE YOU AND ME:

NOW, PARENTS, TEACH YOUR CHILDREN WELL. ENCOURAGE THEM WITH YOUR FAITH AND LEADERSHIP. REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE THE WINDOWS THROUGH WHICH YOUR CHILDREN SEE THIS WORLD. TAKE NOTICE OF YOURSELF AND THE THINGS THAT YOU DO IN HOPES THAT YOUR EXAMPLE WILL STIR THEIR HEARTS AND SOULS.

AMEN, RAYFIELD! WE COULD ECHO HIS WORDS COULDN’T WE? HAD WE LIVED SEVERAL DECADES AGO,

WE COULD HAVE SAID, “BERT AND DIANNE, TEACH YOUR CHILDREN WELL! YOU’RE RAISING OUR YOUTH PASTOR.”

WE COULD HAVE SAID, “BRO. GORDON AND SISTER HILDA, TEACH YOUR CHILDREN WELL; YOU’RE RAISING OUR CHILDREN’S MINISTER AND YOU ARE RAISING THE MOTHER OF OUR YOUTH INTERN.”

WE COULD HAVE SAID, “MR AND MRS. VAIL, RAISE THAT BOY NAMED SCOTT RIGHT. MAKE SURE HE LEARNS TO HANDLE DETAILS AND HAVE INTEGRITY, CAUSE HE’S GOING TO BE OUR EXECUTIVE PASTOR SOMEDAY.”

WE COULD HAVE SAID, “MR. AND MRS. RUSSELL, WE KNOW YOU’VE GOT IT ROUGH AND YOU DON’T HAVE MUCH TO WORK WITH, BUT DO YOUR BEST TO RAISE THAT RUSTY RIGHT BECAUSE HE’S GOING TO BE OUR MINISTER OF MUSIC ONE DAY!”

AND WHAT WE SAID BACK THEN, WE COULD SAY TODAY, BECAUSE MOM AND DAD IT’S YOUR KIDS WHO WILL PREACH THE SERMONS AND LEAD THE MUSIC AND MINISTER TO THE YOUTH AND SIT ON THE DEACON BOARD IN JUST A FEW YEARS. THERE IS A DIRECT CONNECTION BETWEEN THE SUCCESS OF YOUR HOME AND THE SUCCESS OF THIS CHURCH . THE TWO CAN REALLY NOT BE SEPARATED!

IN FACT, PAUL SAW THEM SO UNEXORABLY LINKED THAT HE SAID THIS IN 1 TIM. 3:4 THAT A LEADER MUST BE . . .

4 one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence 5 (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?);

IN OTHER WORDS, THERE IS A DIRECT CONNECTION BETWEEN LEADING AT HOME AND LEADING AT CHURCH

NEED:

NOW PARENTS, WE REALLY NEED TO BE REMINDED OF THAT, BECAUSE WE LIVE IN A DAY WHERE PARENTING IS MISUNDERSTOOD AND NEGLECTED. YES, IT IS MISUNDERSTOOD! PSYCHOLOGISTS HAVE WRITTEN THEIR BOOKS AND THE DR. SPOCKS OF THE WORLD HAVE TOLD US REPEATEDLY THAT WE NEED TO BE VERY CAREFUL OR WE’LL MESS UP OUR CHILDREN. WE KNOW WE NEED TO DISCIPLINE THEM, BUT WE’RE AFRAID WE WON’T DO IT RIGHT.

AND IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH WE HAVE BEEN TOLD BY OUR SOCIETY THAT PARENTING IS FOR LOSERS ANYWAY. I MEAN, IF YOU ARE NOT FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO AVOID HAVING CHILDREN THEN AT LEAST WE SHOULD BE SMART ENOUGH TO NOT LET THEM CRAMP OUR STYLE. AND ITS FOR THAT REASON THAT MANY PARENTS TODAY DON’T DO THEIR JOB VERY WELL. THEY HESITATE TO DISCIPLINE BECAUSE THEY’RE AFRAID OF WARPING THEIR CHILD’S PSYCHE. THEY AVOID DISCIPLINE BECAUSE THEY’RE TOO SELF-CENTERED TO PAY THE PRICE THAT THE RIGHT KIND OF DISCIPLINE REQUIRES.

AND, UNFORTUNATELY, CHRISTIANS PARENTS AREN’T IMMUNE TO THIS WORLD’S CHILDRAISING NONSENSE! THAT’S WHY ITS SO IMPORTANT TO LEARN HOW TO BE A “GOOD HOUSEKEEPING” PARENT. IT MATTERS, MOM AND DAD, AND NOT JUST TO YOUR OWN HOUSEHOLD. IT ALSO MATTERS TO THE REST OF US. OUR FUTURE IS TIED TO YOURS. WE NEED YOUR CHILDREN TO LEAD US TOMORROW AND THAT WILL ONLY HAPPEN IF YOU LEAD THEM TODAY!

SO, WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A GOOD HOUSEKEEPER? WELL, WE BEGAN THIS MESSAGE A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO AND WE SAID THAT BEING A GOOD HOUSEKEEPER REQUIRES GOOD PARENTING AND THAT BEING A GOOD HOUSEKEEPER PRODUCES SPIRITUAL CHILDREN. BUT BEING A GOOD HOUSEKEEPER

DIVISION 1: PREDICTS SUCCESSFUL LEADERSHIP.

EXPLANATION:

YES! THERE IS A CONNECTION BETWEEN LEADERSHIP AT HOME AND LEADERSHIP AT CHURCH. PAUL DIRECTLY CONNECTS IT IN THAT VERSE WE READ. HE SAYS: “(FOR IF A MAN DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO RULE HIS OWN HOUSE, HOW WILL HE TAKE CARE OF THE CHURCH OF GOD?)”

NOW THAT’S A PRETTY DEFINITE STATEMENT AND IT DOESN’T LEAVE US A LOT OF WIGGLE ROOM, DOES IT. HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY? YOU EVER WONDERED WHY PAUL CONNECTS HOME LEADERSHIP AND CHURCH LEADERSHIP SO CLOSELY? WELL, I THINK ITS BECAUSE THE SAME CHARACTER AND HABITS THAT ARE REQUIRED TO LEAD FAMILIES SPIRITUALLY ARE THE SAME CHARACTER AND HABITS THAT ARE REQUIRED TO LEAD CHURCHES SPIRITUALLY.

LAST TIME I PREACHED I GAVE YOU FOUR PRINCIPLES OF HOME LEADERSHIP AND TODAY I WANT TO APPLY THEM TO THE CHURCH. THE FIRST ONE SPOKE OF OUR EXAMPLE AS PARENTS TO OUR CHILDREN. DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT I SAID? I SAID: YOUR CHILD WILL BECOME WHAT YOU ARE, SO SHOW THEM MORE THAN YOU TELL THEM. DOESN’T THAT APPLY TO CHURCH LEADERSHIP TOO? HEY, IF YOU HEAR ME ASK YOU TO COME ON VISITATION ON TUESDAY NIGHTS, GUESS WHO YOU’RE GOING TO LOOK FOR WHEN YOU WALK IN THE DOOR. THAT’S RIGHT! ME! AS A STAFF WE CAN’T ALL BE AT EVERYTHING, BUT ONE THING’S FOR SURE: WE HAD BETTER SET THE EXAMPLE FOR YOU TO FOLLOW.

HEY DEACONS, ARE YOU TELLING OR SHOWING? DO YOU SET THE EXAMPLE? HEY TEACHERS, ARE YOU TELLING OR SHOWING? YOUR EFFECTIVENESS AS A LEADER WILL NOT BE DETERMINED BY WHAT YOUR FOLLOWERS HEAR, BUT BY WHAT THEY SEE.

THE SECOND HOME PRINCIPLE I GAVE YOU SPOKE OF FAITH. I SAID: YOUR CHILD WILL INTERNALIZE WHAT YOU CRITICIZE, SO PRAISE MORE THAN YOU CORRECT. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I’VE DISCOVERED? OFTEN, THE TWO MOST NEGATIVE PLACES IN THE WORLD ARE THE HOME AND THE CHURCH. WE HAVE ALL THESE STANDARDS AND RULES AND WE WANT TO SEE THEM OBEYED, SO WHAT HAPPENS? WHEN PEOPLE DON’T DO LIKE WE THINK THEY OUGHT TO DO, WE CAN REALLY GET DOWN ON THEM. WE OFTEN THINK THE WORST OF OTHERS. WE SAY TERRIBLE THINGS LIKE, “THEY’LL NEVER CHANGE,” OR “ THEY ALWAYS DO THIS WRONG OR THAT WRONG.” AND PEOPLE BEGIN TO GET THE MESSAGE: THEY UNDERSTAND THAT WHILE WE SAY THAT GOD CAN CHANGE ANYONE, AND THAT HIS POWER IS LIMITLESS, WE REALLY DON’T BELIEVE IT. HEY, LEADERS, IF YOU REALLY BELIEVE IN GOD’S POWER, THEN WHY NOT START BELIEVING IN THE PEOPLE IN WHOM HIS POWER OPERATES. TRUST WHAT GOD IS DOING IN THOSE PEOPLE YOU ARE LEADING.

YOU SEE, THERE IS A CONNECTION BETWEEN LEADING AT HOME AND LEADING AT CHURCH. YOU CAN SEE IT ALSO IN THE THIRD PRINCIPLE I GAVE YOU LAST TIME. IT’S THE PRINCIPLE THAT DEALT WITH LOVE. IT SAID: YOUR CHILD WILL HEAR WHAT YOU NEVER SAY, SO ENJOY THEM MORE THAN YOU DREAD THEM. IT’S A RUNNING JOKE AMONG TEACHERS AND PASTORS: TEACHERS SAY, “TEACHING WOULD BE GREAT IF IT WEREN’T FOR STUDENTS”; PASTORS SAY, “PASTORING WOULD BE GREAT IF IT WEREN’T FOR CHURCH MEMBERS.”

BUT THE TRUTH IS, PASTORING OR LEADING DOESN’T EVEN BEGIN UNTIL YOU GENUINELY LOVE THE PEOPLE YOU’RE PASTORING. THERE’S JUST ONE PROBLEM: PEOPLE CAN BE REALLY HARD TO LOVE! (AND BY THE WAY, PASTORS CAN BE, TOO!) BUT YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO LEAD PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY AT CHURCH, UNTIL THEY TRULY KNOW YOU LOVE THEM.

JUST LIKE AT HOME, LEADERSHIP AT CHURCH REQUIRES EXAMPLE AND FAITH, AND LOVE. BUT MOST OF ALL, CHURCH LEADERSHIP REQUIRES HOLINESS. YOU REMEMBER THAT LAST PRINCIPLE I GAVE YOU? YOUR CHILD WILL IMITATE WHAT YOU DEMONSTRATE, SO SUBMIT TO HIM BEFORE YOU PREACH TO THEM. IT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT PRINCIPLE BECAUSE IT IS WHERE EACH OF THE OTHERS BEGIN. YOU SEE, UNTIL I SUBMIT TO CHRIST, I CAN’T SET YOU A GENUINE EXAMPLE; UNTIL I SUBMIT TO CHRIST, I CAN’T REALLY EXERCISE FAITH; UNTIL I SUBMIT TO CHRIST, I CAN’T REALLY LOVE YOU LIKE YOU DESERVE. LEADERS OF PEACE CHURCH, DON’T EVER FORGET THAT THE GREATEST NEED OF THIS CHURCH IS NOT YOUR ABILITY; ITS NOT YOUR MONEY AND ITS NOT EVEN YOUR TIME. ITS YOUR PERSONAL HOLINESS.

YOU SEE THERE IS A DIRECT CONNECTION BETWEEN CHURCH AND HOME. HOW A LEADER DOES AT HOME WILL INEVITABLY BE HOW HE DOES AT CHURCH. JOHN MACARTHUR WRITES:

AN ELDER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR LEADING PEOPLE TO GOD, TO HOLINESS, TO OBEDIENCE, AND TO WITNESS—CRUCIAL MATTERS THAT MUST BE TESTED IN HIS OWN HOME. RESOLVING CONFLICT, BUILDING UNITY, MAINTAINING LOVE, AND SERVING EACH OTHER ARE ESSENTIALS TO CHURCH LIFE THAT ARE CHALLENGES ALSO IN THE HOME. IF HE SUCCEEDS IN HIS FAMILY, HE IS LIKELY TO SUCCEED IN GOD’S FAMILY. IF NOT, HE IS DISQUALIFIED

ARGUMENTATION:

“WOW, RUSTY!” YOU MIGHT BE SAYING. “ISN’T THAT JUST A LITTLE HARSH? WHAT ABOUT THE MAN WHO DOES EVERYTHING RIGHT AND FATHERING IS JUST HIS WEAK AREA? OR WHAT ABOUT THE EVANGELIST THAT WINS THOUSANDS TO CHRIST, BUT LOSES HIS OWN FAMILY IN THE PROCESS. ARE YOU REALLY SAYING THAT HE OUGHT TO GET OUT OF THE MINISTRY?”

WELL, PLEASE HEAR MY HEART WHEN I TELL YOU THAT MY HEART GOES OUT TO FAMILIES WHO HAVE WAYWARD CHILDREN. I KNOW THAT WE LIVE IN A CULTURE THAT DOESN’T HELP US VERY MUCH AND TRIES TO HURT US A LOT! I KNOW THAT OUR CHILDREN ARE NOT COMPLETELY UNDER OUR CONTROL AND THEY MAY DO THINGS THAT THEIR SINFUL NATURE DRIVES THEM TO DO AND WE REALLY MAY NOT CONTRIBUTE TO IT IN THE LEAST. I SYMPATHIZE WITH THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE GOING THROUGH THAT TODAY, BUT I MUST TELL YOU. THE SCRIPTURE IS PRETTY CLEAR HERE, ISN’T IT? PERFORMANCE AT HOME WILL DEFINITELY SHOW UP IN PERFORMANCE AT CHURCH.

ILLUSTRATION:

I SAW THAT ILLUSTRATED IN MY OWN FAMILY’S LIFE WHEN I WAS TEENAGER.

I HAVE REFERRED TO THIS BEFORE, BUT IT FITS HERE, SO I MENTION IT AGAIN. THE SUMMER AFTER MY SOPHMORE YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL, OUR CHURCH HAD IT ANNUAL BEAUTY CONTEST. NOW, WE DIDN’T HAVE YOUNG LADIES SINGING AND DANCING AND WE AWARDED NO RIBBONS. NO, THIS WAS THE ANNUAL BEAUTY CONTEST WHERE THE CHURCH VOTED ON WHETHER THEIR PASTOR SHOULD CONTINUE IN HIS DUTIES OR NOT. IT WAS AN ORDEAL FOR OUR FAMILY, BECAUSE WE COULDN’T HELP FEELING VULNERABLE AND SCRUTINIZED. I MEAN, EVEN CONGRESSMEN ONLY HAD TO BE RE-ELECTED EVERY OTHER YEAR. FOR US, THE CAMPAIGNING NEVER STOPPED!

FOR SIX YEARS RUNNING WE HAD MANAGED TO “WIN” RE-ELECTION. IT HAD BECOME ROUTINE, BUT IN THIS PARTICULAR SITUATION, IT WASN’T. DAD LOST THE VOTE. I WAS SITTING THERE IN THE BACK ROW OF THE CHURCH ABSOLUTELY STUNNED. I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT. THE COUNTERS CAME IN AND TOLD US THE TALLY, THEN ALL EYES TURNED TO HIM.

I WAS SO ANGRY! “HOW DARE THEY DO THAT!” I THOUGHT. “COME ON DAD, TELL JUST WHAT YOU THINK OF THEM! GIVE THEM YOUR EZEKIEL SPEECH. LET THEM HAVE IT!”

BUT MY FATHER WALKED TO THE PULPIT AND CALMLY SAID, WITHOUT A HINT OF RECRIMINATION IN HIS VOICE. “I WILL ABIDE BY THE DECISION OF THIS CHURCH,” LED US IN PRAYER, AND ENDED HIS MINISTRY THERE. I WAS SO MAD, YET IN MY HEART, THOUGH I HAVE NEVER TOLD HIM THIS, PERHAPS, I SO ADMIRED HIM! WHAT AN EXAMPLE! WHAT FAITH! WHAT LOVE FOR THOSE PEOPLE! WHAT HOLINESS! WHAT LEADERSHIP!

BUT I COULD HAVE PREDICTED IT, IF I’D HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT. YOU SEE, HE WAS JUST BEING IN THE PULPIT WHAT I HAD SEEN HIM BE AT HOME.

APPLICATION:

THERE IS A CONNECTION! PERFORMANCE AT HOME WILL SHOW UP IN PERFORMANCE AT CHURCH! FAILURE AT HOME WILL SHOW UP IN FAILURE AT CHURCH.

THIS IS AN AREA OF NEED IN TODAY’S WORLD. TOO OFTEN CHURCHES ARE SO DESPERATE FOR LEADERSHIP THAT WE WILL OVERLOOK THE OBVIOUS LACK OF LEADERSHIP A CANDIDATE EXHIBITS IN HIS HOME LIFE. WE CAN’T AFFORD THAT HERE, PEACE CHURCH. WE MUST BE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS MATTER AS A BODY OF BELIEVERS.

YOU MAY SAY, “WELL, RUSTY, MY KIDS ARE NOT LIVING FOR THE LORD, BUT THEY ARE GROWN. AM I IN OR OUT?” WELL, I’D SAY THAT ALL DEPENDS ON HOW YOU ARE RESPONDING TO THEIR ADULT REBELLION. ARE YOU DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO REACH THEM? ARE YOU STILL ENDEAVORING TO LEAD THEM TO CHRIST AND GUIDE THEM IN THE RIGHT WAY, OR HAVE YOU JUST WASHED YOUR HANDS OF THEM? EVEN YOUR ATTEMPTS TO LEAD THEM WHEN THEY ARE ADULTS BECOMES AN EXAMPLE TO OTHERS.

BUT I THINK THIS PASSAGE MOST APPLIES TO THOSE WHOSE CHILDREN ARE NOT ADULTS. THE PRINCIPLE YOU SHOULD TAKE AWAY IS THIS: AS A LEADER YOU MUST FOCUS ON YOUR HOME FIRST. BEFORE YOU CAN LEAD HERE, YOU MUST LEAD THERE. THAT MEANS YOU WILL PROVIDE THE KIND OF FATHERING WE TALKED ABOUT THE LAST TIME I PREACHED. IT MEANS THAT YOU MUST BE WILLING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO INSURE THAT YOUR FAMILY FOLLOWS CHRIST.

WHICH IS A TALL ORDER IN OUR SOCIETY TODAY. QUITE FRANKLY, HAVING A GODLY HOME IN TODAY’S WORLD WILL MAKE YOUR HOME SEEM QUITE WEIRD TO THOSE AROUND YOU. NOT ONLY DOES GOOD HOUSE KEEPING PREDICT SUCCESSFUL LEADERSHIP, BUT IN TODAY’S SOCIETY, GOOD HOUSEKEEPING

DIVISION 2: DEMANDS DRASTIC CHANGE!

EXPLANATION:

LET’S FACE IT! THE MODEL OUR SOCIETY GIVES US FOR HOMELIFE IS NOTHING LIKE THE KIND OF HOMELIFE PAUL IS DESCRIBING IN THIS PASSAGE. SOCIETY TRUMPETS AN EGALITARIAN FAMILY WHERE HUSBAND AND WIFE SHARE LEADERSHIP EQUALLY AND THERE IS NO SEPARATE ROLE FOR EACH. IT SEES CHILDREN AS ADULTS CAPABLE OF MAKING RESPONSIBLE MORAL CHOICES AND IT SEES ADULTS AS CHILDREN WHO MUST BE FORGIVEN FOR INEVITABLE MORAL FAILURES. IT VALIDATES ALTERNATIVE FAMILIES WITH TWO MOMS OR TWO DADS WHILE CASTIGATING STAY-AT-HOME MOMS OR HOMESCHOOL FAMILIES. THE RESULT IS THAT THE BIBLICAL MODEL FOR FAMILIES GETS TURNED ON ITS HEAD. HEY, CHRISTIAN PARENT IN A CULTURE LIKE WE LIVE IN, YOU MIGHT AS WELL KNOW IT RIGHT UP FRONT: IF YOU WANT A GODLY FAMILY MARGINAL CHANGE WON’T CUT IT! ONLY DRASTIC CHANGE WILL DO.

WHAT KIND OF CHANGE AM I TALKING ABOUT? WELL, HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS BECAUSE I’M GOING TO SUGGEST ABOUT FOUR AREAS OF CHANGE WE NEED TO CONSIDER AS CHRISTIAN PARENTS. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT SOME OF THE THINGS I TELL YOU MAY BE A LITTLE CONTROVERSIAL AND I MAY NOT EVEN HAVE EVERYTHING RIGHT, BUT PLEASE DON’T JUST WRITE ME OFF! WHILE YOU MAY NOT AGREE WITH EVERYTHING I SAY, YOU WILL HAVE TO ADMIT THAT WHAT WE ARE CURRENTLY DOING ISN’T WORKING ALL THAT WELL, SO, PLEASE, AT LEAST BE WILLING TO LISTEN. OK? HERE GOES:

GOOD HOUSEKEEPING IN OUR SOCIETY WILL REQUIRE A DRASTIC CHANGE IN THE ENVIRONMENT OF YOUR HOME. QUITE FRANKLY, YOUR MISSION, PARENTS, IS TO CREATE A COUNTER-CULTURAL HOME. YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO DRIFT ALONG WITH WHAT’S OUT THERE, AND I HAVE TO TELL YOU, IF YOU’RE UNWILLING TO MOVE TO THE OUTER REACHES OF THE PAINTED DESERT, YOU’RE IN FOR THE STRUGGLE OF YOUR LIFE!

ELLEN GOODMAN, CERTAINLY NOT KNOWN AS A CONSERVATIVE COLUMNIST NOR A CHRISTIAN WRITES:

SOONER OR LATER; MOST AMERICANS BECOME CARD-CARRYING MEMBERS OF THE COUNTERCULTURE. THIS IS NOT AN UNDERGROUND HOLDOUT OF HIPPIES. NO BEADS ARE REQUIRED. ALL YOU NEED TO JOIN IS A CHILD.

AT SOME POINT BETWEEN LAMAZE AND PTA, IT BECOMES CLEAR THAT ONE OF YOUR MAIN JOBS AS A PARENT IS TO COUNTER THE CULTURE. WHAT THE MEDIA DELIVER TO CHILDREN BY THE MASSES, YOU ARE EXPECTED TO REBUT ONE AT A TIME.

BUT IT OCCURS TO ME NOW THAT THE CALL FOR “PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY” IS INCREASING IN DIRECT PROPORTION TO THE IRRESPONSIBILITY OF THE MARKETPLACE. PARENTS ARE EXPECTED TO PROTECT THEIR CHILDREN FROM AN INCREASINGLY HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT.

ARE THE KIDS BEING SOLD JUNK FOOD? JUST SAY NO. IS TV BAD? TURN IT OFF. ARE THERE MESSAGES ABOUT SEX, DRUGS, VIOLENCE ALL AROUND? COUNTER THE CULTURE.

MOTHERS AND FATHERS ARE EXPECTED TO SCREEN VIRTUALLY EVERY ASPECT OF THEIR CHILDREN’S LIVES. TO CHECK THE RATINGS ON THE MOVIES, TO READ THE LABELS ON THE CDS, TO FIND OUT IF THERE’S MTV IN THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR. ALL THE WHILE KEEPING IN TOUCH WITH SCHOOL AND IN THEIR FREE TIME, EARNING A LIVING.

BARBARA DAFOE WHITEHEAD, A RESEARCH ASSOCIATE AT THE INSTITUTE FOR AMERICAN VALUES, FOUND THIS OUT IN INTERVIEWS WITH MIDDLE-CLASS PARENTS. “A COMMON COMPLAINT I HEARD FROM PARENTS WAS THEIR SENSE OF BEING OVERWHELMED BY THE CULTURE. THEY FELT RELATIVELY MORE HELPLESS THAN THEIR PARENTS.”

“PARENTS,” SHE NOTES, “SEE THEMSELVES IN A STRUGGLE FOR THE HEARTS AND MINDS OF THEIR OWN CHILDREN.” IT ISN’T THAT THEY CAN’T SAY NO. IT’S THAT THERE’S SO MUCH MORE TO SAY NO TO.

THERE’S SO MUCH COMING AT THE FAMILY TODAY, PAYING LIPSERVICE TO CHANGE WON’T CUT IT, SO PARENTS ITS UP TO YOU. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO LET YOUR CHILDREN WATCH ON TELEVISION? THERE IS HARDLY ANY SHOW ON TELEVISION TODAY THAT IS REALLY FIT TO WATCH! THAT’S RIGHT! WE ARE WATCHING STUFF TODAY WE WOULD HAVE TURNED OFF TEN YEARS AGO BECAUSE WE WOULD HAVE CONSIDERED IT TOO VULGAR.

AND WHAT CD’S WILL YOU LET THEM BUY? WILL YOU NOTICE I SAID, “WHAT CDS WILL YOU LET THEM BUY? THAT’S RIGHT PARENTS! DON’T BLAME YOUR KIDS FOR THEIR BAD CHOICES; DON’T FALL FOR THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE SOME MONEY OF THEIR OWN AND THEY THINK THEY OUGHT TO BE ABLE TO SPEND IT AS THEY PLEASE, YOU ARE IN CHARGE! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN CONTROL WHILE THEY ARE IN YOUR HOUSE. YOU CAN’T JUST LET THEM BUY WHATEVER THEY WANT!

AND WHERE IS THEIR COMPUTER? IS IT IN THEIR ROOM OR IN A PUBLIC PLACE. I HAD AN E-MAIL FROM SOMEONE THIS WEEK IN WHICH THEY LET ME KNOW THAT THEY HAD BEEN TO “MY SPACE” TO SEE WHAT THEIR CHILD HAD OUT ON THE WEB. I THINK THAT’S A GREAT IDEA!

AND WHAT ABOUT THE VIDEOS YOU RENT AS A FAMILY? HOW CAN YOU EXPECT YOUR CHILDREN TO HAVE CLEAN MINDS AND WARM HEARTS TO GOD IF THEY HEAR GUTTER LANGUAGE, SEE PARTIAL NUDITY, AND WATCH COUNTLESS GORY MURDER SCENES RADIATING FROM THE TV SCREEN?

I AM ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED, DAD’S AND MOMS, THAT IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE A GOOD HOUSEKEEPING PARENT YOU WILL HAVE TO CREATE A DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT ENVIRONMENT THAN WHAT IS COMMON IN TODAY’S AVERAGE CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD! BEING A GOOD HOUSEKEEPING MOM OR DAD REQUIRES A DRASTIC CHANGE IN ENVIRONMENT.

BUT IT ALSO REQUIRES A DRASTIC CHANGE IN YOUR CHILD’S EDUCATION. IN THE FIRST PLACE, DAD, YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT WHEN YOU GET TO HEAVEN, GOD’S NOT GOING TO CALL IN JOHNNY’S FIRST GRADE TEACHER AND ASK HER WHY SHE DIDN’T DO A BETTER JOB OF TEACHING JOHNNY, AT LEASE NOT FIRST. NO! GOD’S GOING TO ASK YOU AND HE’S GOING TO ASK ME “WHAT KIND OF GODLY EDUCATION DID YOU PROVIDE FOR YOUR FAMILY?”

NOW, YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT MY DAUGHTER ATTENDED PUBLIC SCHOOL BEFORE SHE WENT OFF TO COLLEGE AND SO I AM NOT HERE TO BE OVERLY CRITICAL OF YOU IF YOU HAVE A CHILD WHO ISN’T IN A CHRISTIAN SCHOOL. ALL I WILL SAY IS THIS. THE CHOICE OF YOUR CHILD’S EDUCATORS CANNOT BE BASED ON CONVENIENCE AND IT CAN’T BE LEFT TO ECONOMICS. YOUR CHILD IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT! YOU AND I AS PARENTS MUST SEEK THE FACE OF GOD AND TRULY LET HIM LEAD US AS WE MAKE EDUCATIONAL CHOICES. THE DAY IS FAST APPROACHING WHERE GOD WILL NOT JUST BE SILENCED IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOL, HE WILL BE HELD UP TO RIDICULE. THERE MAY COME A DAY WHEN PUBLIC SCHOOL IS NO LONGER AN OPTION FOR US. SOME SAY ITS ALREADY HERE. VODDIE BAUCHAM SAID:

“IF WE ARE TOLD TO TAKE EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE TO THE OBEDIENCE OF CHRIST, HOW CAN WE DO THAT IF WE HAVE OUR CHILDREN IN AN ENVIRONMENT WHERE THEY ARE BEING TAUGHT THINGS FROM A SECULAR PERSPECTIVE?”

MY QUESTION TO YOU TODAY IS THIS: IF THE DAY COMES, CHRISTIAN PARENT, WHEN YOU IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS KNOW THAT PUBLIC SCHOOL IS DESTROYING THE FAITH OF YOUR CHILD, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? YOU GOING TO CHOOSE ACCORDING TO YOUR POCKET BOOK OR ACCORDING TO YOUR CHILD’S NEEDS?

AND I JUST HAVE TO ADD RIGHT HERE. IT BREAKS MY HEART WHEN OUR STUDENTS LEAVE THIS CHURCH AND GO TO SECULAR UNIVERSITIES AND WE LOSE THEM! MANY OF YOU IN THIS ROOM WENT TO THAT KIND OF AN INSTITUTION AND YOU MADE IT THROUGH WITH YOUR FAITH. THAT IS A TESTIMONY TO THE GRACE OF GOD, BUT PARENTS I BEG YOU, BE CAREFUL! WHEN YOU TAKE YOUR CHILD TO THAT SECULAR UNIVERSITY ASK YOURSELF THE QUESTION: “WHEN I WAS 18 AND JUST LEAVING HOME, HOW WELL WOULD I HAVE DONE IN THIS ENVIRONMENT?” AND IF YOU DON’T THINK YOU COULD HAVE MADE IT, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOUR CHILD WILL? OH, AND BY THE WAY, IT’S PROBABLY A WHOLE LOT WORSE THAN YOU HAVE EVEN IMAGINED.

BEING A GOOD HOUSEKEEPING PARENT REQUIRES DRASTIC CHANGE. MARGINAL CHANGE WON’T CUT IT! IT REQUIRES A CHANGE IN OUR ENVIRONMENT AND A CHANGE IN OUR EDUCATION, BUT IT ALSO REQUIRES A CHANGE IN OUR EMPHASIS. WHAT I MEAN IS, WE MUST LEARN TO EMPHASIZE WHAT’S REALLY IMPORTANT IF WE WANT TO RAISE GODLY CHILDREN. DON’T TELL ME THAT YOUR HOME IS FOCUSED ON CHRIST WHEN YOU WILL LET ANY BALLGAME OR CONCERT THAT COMES ALONG PULL YOU AND YOUR CHILD OUT OF CHURCH. I’M NOT SAYING THAT YOUR CHILD MUST ALWAYS SACRIFICE OTHER ACTIVITIES TO BE HERE, BUT I AM SAYING THAT YOU OUGHT TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND AS A PARENT THAT MY CHILD’S SPIRITUAL GROWTH COMES FIRST. THERE ARE SOME FAMILIES THAT GET SO CAUGHT UP IN THEIR SPORTS SCHEDULE THAT THEY ARE ABSENT MUCH OF THE SUMMER. SOME PARENTS ALLOW THEIR CHILDREN TO MAKE COMMITMENTS OF THEIR TIME THAT TAKE THEM OUT OF THE YOUTH GROUP ON WEDNESDAY NIGHTS, THEN THEY WONDER WHY THEIR CHILDREN LOSE INTEREST IN CHURCH.

AND THAT’S JUST ONE EXAMPLE. CHANGING YOUR EMPHASIS MAY MEAN THAT YOUR WIFE QUITS OR CUTS BACK ON WORK SO THAT YOU CAN BE THERE IN THE AFTERNOONS WHEN YOUR CHILDREN GET HOME. CHANGING YOUR EMPHASIS MAY MEAN THAT YOU TURN OFF THE TV AND HAVE A FAMILY ALTAR AT NIGHT. WHATEVER ELSE IT MAY MEAN, CHANGING YOUR EMPHASIS MEANS THAT YOUR CHILD CLEARLY UNDERSTANDS, NOT JUST WITH YOUR WORDS BUT WITH YOUR ACTIONS, THAT JESUS CHRIST IS LORD OF YOUR HOME!

ARGUMENTATION:

NOW I KNOW SOME OF THAT MAY BE HARD TO HEAR. IN FACT YOU MAY BE SAYING, “COME ON, RUSTY, YOU’RE BEING TOO DRASTIC. LIGHTEN UP!”

WELL, I’LL TELL YOU, MY FRIEND, I’M NOT BEING DRASTIC; I’M BEING NORMAL. WHAT I HAVE JUST DESCRIBED TO YOU OUGHT TO BE NORMAL LIVING FOR A CHRISTIAN FAMILY. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT DRASTIC IS, I’LL TELL YOU!

DRASTIC IS WHEN THE CULTURE TELLS YOU THAT STANDING AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL MARRIAGE MAKES YOU BIGOTTED AND THAT TEACHING YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEXUAL ORIENTATION IN GRADE SCHOOL IS NORMAL.

DRASTIC IS WHEN YOUR CULTURE TELLS YOU THAT TAKING THE TIME FOR A FAMILY ALTAR AT HOME IS STRANGE, BUT MAKING YOUR HOME A HAVEN FOR THE X-RATED MEDIA AND THE GUTTER-MOUTHED LANGUAGE OF THIS WORLD IS NORMAL

DRASTIC IS WHEN THE PRINCIPAL TURNS THE MIC OFF WHEN A VALEDICTORIAN DARES TO MENTION JESUS CHRIST IN HER GRADUATION REMARKS, BUT WELCOMES ALL OTHER RELIGIONS IN THE NAME OF DIVERSITY. THAT’S DRASTIC.

IF YOU ARE TO RAISE A FAMILY THAT GLORIFIES GOD IN THIS CULTURE, IT WILL BE BECAUSE YOU TAKE DRASTIC ACTION. LOOK, I KNOW THIS ISN’T EASY. I REALLY DO, BUT ISN’T YOUR FAMILY WORTH THE EFFORT?

ILLUSTRATION:

WHEN THE WESTERN UNION COMPANY ASKED THE GREAT INVENTOR THOMAS EDISON TO “NAME HIS PRICE” FOR THE TICKER HE HAD INVENTED, EDISON ASKED FOR A FEW DAYS TO THINK IT OVER. HIS WIFE SUGGESTED $20,000, BUT EDISON THOUGHT THAT WAS TOO MUCH. WHEN THE TIME CAME FOR THE MEETING, THE WESTERN UNION OFFICIAL ASKED EDISON FOR HIS PRICE. EDISON WANTED TO SAY $20,000, BUT COULDN’T GET THE WORDS OUT OF HIS MOUTH. SO THE OFFICIAL BROKE THE SILENCE. “WELL, HOW ABOUT $100,000?”

HE ALMOST LOST TENS OF THOUSANDS BECAUSE HE ALMOST SOLD HIMSELF SHORT. BUT LISTEN TO ME FATHER; HEAR ME MOTHER: HOW MUCH WILL YOU LOSE IF YOU SELL YOUR FAMILY SHORT? IT’S WORTH THE EFFORT. YOUR FAMILY IS WORTHY IT!

APPLICATION:

SO WHAT IS THE ONE ACTION YOU COULD TAKE THAT WOULD MAKE THE MOST IMPACT ON YOUR FAMILY FOR GOD? MAYBE GOD IS DEALING WITH SOME OF YOU THAT HE WANTS MOM AT HOME. YOU’VE GOT ALL KINDS OF REASONS WHY IT WON’T WORK AND MOST OF THEM HAVE TO DO WITH MONEY. DON’T YOU THINK GOD WILL PROVIDE FOR YOU IF YOU’LL JUST TRUST HIM?

DAD’S, MAYBE YOU KNOW GOD’S BEEN DEALING WITH YOU ABOUT THE FAMILY DEVOTION THING. YOU’VE MADE COMMITMENT AFTER COMMITMENT, BUT YOU ALWAYS GO BACK ON IT. DON’T YOU THINK ITS TIME YOU DREW A LINE IN THE SAND AND GOT THE POWER FROM THE HOLY SPIRIT TO FOLLOW THROUGH.

SOME OF YOU MAY JUST NEED TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND THAT YOUR FAMILY IS GOING TO EAT DINNER TOGETHER AND THAT YOU’RE GOING TO TURN THE TV OFF WHEN YOU DO IT AND JUST TALK. I DON’T KNOW WHAT GOD MAY BE DEALING WITH YOU ABOUT, BUT WHATEVER IT IS THIS MORNING, I BEG YOU: DON’T SELL YOUR FAMILY SHORT! BE A GOOD HOUSEKEEPER!

VISUALIZATION:

ON FEBRUARY 27, 1993, TIM BURKE WALKED AWAY FROM HIS CAREER IN MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL. THE ALL-STAR PITCHER GAVE UP THE GLAMOUR OF PROFESSIONAL SPORTS TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH HIS WIFE, CHRISTY, AND THEIR FIVE CHILDREN. UNABLE TO HAVE THEIR CHILDREN BIOLOGICALLY, THE BURKES HAVE ADOPTED THEIR CHILDREN. EACH CHILD WAS PREVIOUSLY AN ORPHAN IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. WHEN BURKE LEFT THE MOUND FOR HOME, HE TOLD THE LOS ANGELES TIMES, “BASEBALL IS GOING TO DO JUST FINE WITHOUT ME, BUT I’M THE ONLY FATHER MY CHILDREN HAVE.”

HEY DADS, MERCK WILL DO JUST FINE WITHOUT YOU; FIRESTONE WON’T FOLD IF YOU DON’T SHOW UP; BUT YOU ARE THE ONLY FATHER YOUR CHILDREN WILL EVER HAVE!