GENTLENESS & SELF CONTROL
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LOVE
JOY
PEACE
PATIENCE
KINDNESS
GOODNESS
GENTLENESS
GENTLENESS
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
GAL 5:22-23
A STRONG HAND WITH A SOFT TOUCH
Puritan leader Jonathan Edwards called gentleness "the Christian spirit." Edwards said, "All who are truly godly and are real disciples of Christ have a gentle spirit in them."
WHEN I THINK OF GENTLENESS I THINK OF MOSES. NOT IN HIS FINIST MOMENTS BUT IN HIS WORST MOMENT.
NOW JUST BEAR WITH ME HERE. HEAR ME OUT.
“Take the staff, and assemble the congregation, you and Aaron your brother, and tell the rock before their eyes to yield its water. So you shall bring water out of the rock for them and give drink to the congregation and their cattle.”
LETS JUST TAKE A LOOK
And the people of Israel, the whole congregation, came into the wilderness of Zin in the first month, and the people stayed in Kadesh. And Miriam died there and was buried there.
Now there was no water for the congregation. And they assembled themselves together against Moses and against Aaron.
And the people quarreled with Moses and said, “Would that we had perished when our brothers perished before the Lord!
Why have you brought the assembly of the Lord into this wilderness, that we should die here, both we and our cattle?
And why have you made us come up out of Egypt to bring us to this evil place? It is no place for grain or figs or vines or pomegranates, and there is no water to drink.”
Then Moses and Aaron went from the presence of the assembly to the entrance of the tent of meeting and fell on their faces. And the glory of the Lord appeared to them,
and the Lord spoke to Moses, saying,
“Take the staff, and assemble the congregation, you and Aaron your brother, and tell the rock before their eyes to yield its water. So you shall bring water out of the rock for them and give drink to the congregation and their cattle.”
And Moses took the staff from before the Lord, as he commanded him.
Then Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock, and he said to them, “Hear now, you rebels: shall we bring water for you out of this rock?”
And Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock with his staff twice, and water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their livestock.
And the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not believe in me, to uphold me as holy in the eyes of the people of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them.”
These are the waters of Meribah, where the people of Israel quarreled with the Lord, and through them he showed himself holy.
IN THIS PASSAGE OF SCRIPTURE WE SEE THE ISRAELITES ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT THIER SITUATION AND THEY HAVE JUST LOST A LOVED LEADER AND I AM SURE AT THIS STAGE MOSES HAS HAD IT UP TO HERE (OVER HIS HEAD) WITH THESE PEOPLE.
And the people of Israel, the whole congregation, came into the wilderness of Zin in the first month, and the people stayed in Kadesh. And Miriam died there and was buried there.
Now there was no water for the congregation. And they assembled themselves together against Moses and against Aaron.
And the people quarreled with Moses and said, “Would that we had perished when our brothers perished before the Lord!
Why have you brought the assembly of the Lord into this wilderness, that we should die here, both we and our cattle?
And why have you made us come up out of Egypt to bring us to this evil place? It is no place for grain or figs or vines or pomegranates, and there is no water to drink.”
Then Moses and Aaron went from the presence of the assembly to the entrance of the tent of meeting and fell on their faces. And the glory of the Lord appeared to them,
and the Lord spoke to Moses, saying,
“Take the staff, and assemble the congregation, you and Aaron your brother, and tell the rock before their eyes to yield its water. So you shall bring water out of the rock for them and give drink to the congregation and their cattle.”
And Moses took the staff from before the Lord, as he commanded him.
Then Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock, and he said to them, “Hear now, you rebels: shall we bring water for you out of this rock?”
And Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock with his staff twice, and water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their livestock.
And the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not believe in me, to uphold me as holy in the eyes of the people of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them.”
These are the waters of Meribah, where the people of Israel quarreled with the Lord, and through them he showed himself holy.
Moses sent messengers from Kadesh to the king of Edom: “Thus says your brother Israel: You know all the hardship that we have met:
how our fathers went down to Egypt, and we lived in Egypt a long time. And the Egyptians dealt harshly with us and our fathers.
And when we cried to the Lord, he heard our voice and sent an angel and brought us out of Egypt. And here we are in Kadesh, a city on the edge of your territory.
Please let us pass through your land. We will not pass through field or vineyard, or drink water from a well. We will go along the King’s Highway. We will not turn aside to the right hand or to the left until we have passed through your territory.”
But Edom said to him, “You shall not pass through, lest I come out with the sword against you.”
And the people of Israel said to him, “We will go up by the highway, and if we drink of your water, I and my livestock, then I will pay for it. Let me only pass through on foot, nothing more.”
But he said, “You shall not pass through.” And Edom came out against them with a large army and with a strong force.
Thus Edom refused to give Israel passage through his territory, so Israel turned away from him.
And they journeyed from Kadesh, and the people of Israel, the whole congregation, came to Mount Hor.
And the Lord said to Moses and Aaron at Mount Hor, on the border of the land of Edom,
“Let Aaron be gathered to his people, for he shall not enter the land that I have given to the people of Israel, because you rebelled against my command at the waters of Meribah.
Take Aaron and Eleazar his son and bring them up to Mount Hor.
And strip Aaron of his garments and put them on Eleazar his son. And Aaron shall be gathered to his people and shall die there.”
Moses did as the Lord commanded. And they went up Mount Hor in the sight of all the congregation.
And Moses stripped Aaron of his garments and put them on Eleazar his son. And Aaron died there on the top of the mountain. Then Moses and Eleazar came down from the mountain.
And when all the congregation saw that Aaron had perished, all the house of Israel wept for Aaron thirty days.
ANYWAY HE AND AARON GO INTO THE TENT OF MEETING PLACE AND GOD SHOWS UP AND SAYS MOSES I GET IT. GET UP AND GO TO THE PEOPLE GATHER THEM UP AND SPEAK TO THE ROCK
SLIDE
“Take the staff, and assemble the congregation, you and Aaron your brother, and tell the rock before their eyes to yield its water. So you shall bring water out of the rock for them and give drink to the congregation and their cattle.”
HAS THIS BEEN YOU? WELL IT HAS CERTAINLY BEEN ME MANY TIMES.
I CAN REMEMBER A TIME WHEN I WAS WORKING AT NEW LIFE AND WE HAD A STUDENT WHO WAS AT THE END OF HER PROGRAM, 12 MONTHS INTO AND WE WERE PREPARING HER TO GO BACK HOME AND BE A MOM AND A CONTRIBUTING PARTICIPANT TO SOCIETY. SO WE HAD THIS PART OF THE PROGRAM THAT ALLOWED THEM TO STAY WITH THEIR KIDS AND LEARN TO PARENT AND IT WAS A COTTAGE ON THE PROPERTY AND THEY HAD SOME FREEDOM. SO SHE PROCEEDS TO WALK TO THE STORE IN TOWN WHICH IS A GOOD 3KM HIKE ONE WAY TO BUY CIGARETTES AND SHE DOES THIS IN THE PITCH DARK. ONE OF THE STAFF HAPPENED TO BE DRIVING BACK TO HER COTTAGE THAT NIGHT AND ENCOUNTERED HER ON THE ROAD AND OF COURSE SHE WAS WALKING ON THIS DARK ROAD AND WITHA BABY IN PRAM SHE IS DARK SKINED AND DRESSED ALL DARK AND SO IS BABY.
ANYWAY THE NEXT DAY THE STAFF REPORTS TO ME AND I GO AND CHAT WITH HER AND MUCH LIKE THESE PEOPLE SHE IS COMPLAINING ABOUT WHAT SHE DOES NOT HAVE AND NOT LOOKING AT WHAT SHE DOES HAVE.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
COL 3:16
– Mr Rogers
Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;
LET YOUR GENTLENESS BE KNOWN TO EVERYONE
“Most of us, I believe, admire strength. It’s something we tend to respect in others, desire for ourselves, and wish for our children. Sometimes, though, I wonder if we confuse strength and other words–like aggression and even violence. Real strength is neither male nor female; but is, quite simply, one of the finest characteristics that any human being can possess.”
– Mr Rogers
GOD TOLD ME TO BE GENTLE AND PRETTY MUCH LIKE MOSES I WENT OUT AND WHAT STARTED OUT TO BE A GENTLE TOUCH ENDED UP BEING A STERN REBUKE. NEEDLESS TO SAY SHE CHOSE TO LEAVE THE PROGRAM AND NEVER GRADUATED.
IT WAS MY DOING BECAUSE I NEVER HEEDED THE PROMPTING OF THE HOLY SPIRIT TO BE GENTLE AND I HEARD IN MY SPIRIT “ YOU WILL NOT ENTER CANAAN”
NOT FOR HER BUT FOR ME - NOW I CAN JUSTIFY MY FRUSTRATION ALL I WANT BUT MY LACK OF GENTLENESS IN THAT SITUATION COST ME.
GENTLENESS QUOTE
Gentleness is strength because it remains constant and clear-minded across all manner of situations.
Gentleness is strength because it remains constant and clear-minded across all manner of situations.
Gentleness is strength because it remains constant and clear-minded across all manner of situations.
1. Be Conscious of Your Feelings
1. Be Conscious of Your Feelings
We don’t always like to confront how we really feel about things. We are often quick to sugar coat and gloss over our natural emotional response to people and situations. But the gentle spirit acknowledges the truth of what is being felt. If you are sad then you are sad, if you are angry then you are angry.
There is an unchangeable truth in this.
Pretending will not make it disappear, it will just push those feelings beneath the surface. Your emotional response is neither right or wrong, but it IS true. Learn this language, and be honest with yourself about it.
Ask yourself how you are really feeling about what is happening here? It may take a while to break through the surface. You can find the answer in all sorts of places – how is your body responding? Are you tense? Are you stressed? Sick? What is your body telling you about how you feel in your mind?
2. Use the Space between Stimulus and Response
2. Use the Space between Stimulus and Response
Gentle people make and embrace the time and space between something happening and when the respond to it.
Gentle People:
aren’t reactionary don’t respond immediately stop and take a metaphorical step back to ground themselves within that moment between the stimulus (something happens TO them) and the response (they decide what they are going to do about it)are strong and full of self-control (they choose if and how to react)
3. Allow Yourself to Care
3. Allow Yourself to Care
Similar to the first point, another key factor in the gentle spirit is simply acknowledging and allowing yourself to care about things (other people, the world, your hopes and dreams).
It is so easy to become disenfranchised and switch off your heart. Certain situations can quickly feel hopeless, pointless, and futile if we allow them. Our experiences can lead us to become disinterested.
Maybe you’ve been hurt, let down, or taken for a ride in the past. When we turn off we remove our investment and begin to resent the emotional and physical effort that we are spending. If we are not aware and don’t make the intentional decision to care, then ‘off’ may well become the default position.
4. Take your Focus Deeper
4. Take your Focus Deeper
Why does this situation matter? Why is this person important? The gentle spirit will find reasons that ignite a positive motivation.
They find an excuse to say ‘yes this is worth my attention and investment’.
They are aware of a deeper sense of purpose so that when it feels futile or meaningless they can draw on a reason to continue that transcends their own ability to muster energy.
5. Decide What You are Going to Do
5. Decide What You are Going to Do
Rather than reacting, gentle spirits embrace their ability to choose.
From the space between the stimulus and response comes this foundation where you know what your next step will be and you can identify the intention behind it. Gentleness has insight to see implications and consequences of action. The action is taken now with a good idea of what will happen as a result of what is done. The rational decision is taken at the expense of a regrettable emotive reaction.
6. Follow Up with Anyone Else Affected
6. Follow Up with Anyone Else Affected
Making human connections is what breeds gentleness. Cultivating empathy, and an understanding that the world doesn’t revolve around their perception of reality is a habit of the gentle spirit.
Other people care about other things for reasons that you might not yet fully grasp. That doesn’t make them wrong. Empathy comes through gentle strength; by seeking to experience the world through their senses you find a place to make a profound difference in their lives.
As the famous quote of disputed origins says: ‘be kind/gentle, for everyone you meet is fighting a difficult battle’.
Who else is affected by the situation? The gentle spirit feels the wider impact beyond that which it feels simply for themselves.
7. Record your Experiences
7. Record your Experiences
Gentle spirited people observe the world. They observe themselves, other people, and the situations they experience. Reflecting on these things is an important part of learning and growing in the future. The more that you intentionally acknowledge your responses to things the more control you will have over them next time.
And the more control you have, the more space you have to choose to be gentle.
THIS SUMMS GENTLENESS UP:
SLIDE STRONG HAND.....
A STRONG HAND WITH A SOFT TOUCH
THIS IS WHY I REALLY WANTED TO SEGWAY INTO THE FINAL AND ALL ENCOMPASSING FRUIT OF :
– Mr Rogers
SLIDE
SELF CONTROL
SELF CONTROL
THE ABILITY TO MANAGE OUR ACTIONS, FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS
THIS IS WHAT PHSYCOLOGISTS SAY ABOUT SELF CONTROL:
It is very interesting to note that self-control acts in the same way as a muscle, getting tired out after repeated use. In an interview with Researcher by Roy F Baumeister, who conducted a study in self-control; he concluded that self-control is a limited resource. It is more difficult to perform consistent acts of self-control.
SLIDE CHOC CHIP COOKIE AND RAISIN
In an examination he performed to gather data on the power of the will, one group of participants was asked to eat chocolate chip cookies while the other group was asked to resist chocolate chip cookies and eat raisins instead.
Afterwards, they were told to work out a geometric puzzle that had no solution. The first group, who was able to indulge in chocolate chip cookies quit after about twenty minutes. The group that had to practice restraint and eat the raisins quit, on average, after only about eight minutes.
This goes to show us that our self-control gets tired just like a muscle but it can be built up over time by exercising it and allow you to perform extraordinary feats of will.
Self control is not all About denying yourself pleasures, it also encompasses working towards a higher ideal and sacrificing some things in the now in order to achieve long term goals.
Many people are unable to make exert the necessary will power to make the changes that they so desire in their lives. One thing that holds true no matter where you are or where you are going, nothing TRULY worthwhile every came without putting forth a little effort.
SLIDE
A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.
egkrateia
SELF MASTERY
proceeding out from within oneself, but not by oneself.
For the believer, 1466 /egkráteia ("self-control, Spirit-control") can only be accomplished by the power of the Lord. Accordingly,
and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness,
and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.
2 PETER
It is very interesting to note that self-control acts in the same way as a muscle, getting tired out after repeated use. In an interview with Researcher by Roy F Baumeister, who conducted a study in self-control; he concluded that self-control is a limited resource. It is more difficult to perform consistent acts of self-control.
In an examination he performed to gather data on the power of the will, one group of participants was asked to eat chocolate chip cookies while the other group was asked to resist chocolate chip cookies and eat raisins instead.
Afterwards, they were told to work out a geometric puzzle that had no solution. The first group, who was able to indulge in chocolate chip cookies quit after about twenty minutes. The group that had to practice restraint and eat the raisins quit, on average, after only about eight minutes.
This goes to show us that our self-control gets tired just like a muscle but it can be built up over time by exercising it and allow you to perform extraordinary feats of will.
Many people are unable to make exert the necessary will power to make the changes that they so desire in their lives. One thing that holds true no matter where you are or where you are going, nothing TRULY worthwhile every came without putting forth a little effort.
THE MESSAGE FROM
Everything that goes into a life of pleasing God has been miraculously given to us by getting to know, personally and intimately, the One who invited us to God. The best invitation we ever received! We were also given absolutely terrific promises to pass on to you—your tickets to participation in the life of God after you turned your back on a world corrupted by lust.
5-9 So don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus. Without these qualities you can’t see what’s right before you, oblivious that your old sinful life has been wiped off the books.
10-11 So, friends, confirm God’s invitation to you, his choice of you. Don’t put it off; do it now. Do this, and you’ll have your life on a firm footing, the streets paved and the way wide open into the eternal kingdom of our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ.
GREEK - (ENG-KRAT-IAH)
egkrateia
SELF MASTERY
proceeding out from within oneself, but not by oneself.
For the believer, 1466 /egkráteia ("self-control, Spirit-control") can only be accomplished by the power of the Lord. Accordingly,
WE HAVE AN INCREDIBLE EXAMPLE OF THIS IN THE STORY OF JOSEPH
THIS IS WHERE HE IS WORKING FOR POTIPHER
But he refused and said to his master’s wife, “Behold, because of me my master has no concern about anything in the house, and he has put everything that he has in my charge.
He is not greater in this house than I am, nor has he kept back anything from me except you, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?”
And as she spoke to Joseph day after day, he would not listen to her, to lie beside her or to be with her.
But one day, when he went into the house to do his work and none of the men of the house was there in the house,
she caught him by his garment, saying, “Lie with me.” But he left his garment in her hand and fled and got out of the house.
GEN 39
WE SEE THAT THIS LADY WAS VERY PERSISTENT
And as she spoke to Joseph day after day, he would not listen to her, to lie beside her or to be with her.
SOMETIMES IT CAN JUST WEAR US DOWN,
DO WE WANT TO PLEASE OTHERS?
FEAR OF NOT FITTING IN?
BECOME DISSATISFIED WITH WHAT WE HAVE START LOOKING AROUND
COMPARING STARTS
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
she does not ponder the path of life; her ways wander, and she does not know it.
And now, O sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth.
PRACTICING SELF CONTROL BRINGS US DIRECTLY INTO THE PRESENCE OF GOD. IT CONNECTS US WITH OUR SINFUL NATURE
WE ARE SEEKING GODS WILL NOT OURS.
WE CANNOT ACHIEVE THIS APART FROM GOD - BY THE POWER OF THE LORD.
WE NEED GOD THE FATHER , JESUS CHRIST THE SON AND THE HOLY SPIRIT TO HELP US ON THIS JOURNEY.
For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
Then he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts.
ZACH 4:6
COME AND
FATHER GOD, JESUS CHRIST - HOLY SPIRIT COME AND FILL US - SHOW US LORD THE DIRECTION WE NEED TO TAKE GIVE US THESE YOUR GIFTS SO THAT OUR LIVES CAN BE LIVING PROOF OF OUR FAITH IN YOU. NOT FOR OUR GLORY BUT FOR YOUR GLORY BECAUSE WE ARE NOT ABLE TO DO THIS APART FROM YOU.