Forgiveness Is A Choice

Introduction

Matthew 18:21 KJV 1900

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

In this chapter, we find a central theme of humility.

In the first section of this chapter, Jesus deals with a question that was burning in the disciples hearts. Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?

The answer that Jesus gave to these men was not the response they were looking for. Jesus doesn’t give a name of who was great, rather, He gives a description. A characteristic they were all failing in. Humility.

Matthew 18:4 KJV 1900

Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 18:

Greatness, in the eyes of God, is not acquired through means that humanly speaking we would deem as great, (sports greats=performance; work place=production) greatness is acquired through servitude, humility.

After dealing with this issue of who is greatest, Jesus moves on to a different issue. The issue now is, how do you handle someone who has offended you?

The first step that Jesus gives in this prescriptive plan to follow can often be the most difficult:

Matthew 18:15 KJV 1900

Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

Jesus continues on in the following verses to give very specific details as to what you should do if restoration is rejected with each step.

But the first step is often a step that is skipped. Instead of going to the one who has offended you, the one who can make it right, we think somehow that telling other people is going to solve the issue.

It’s easier to get others involved in the process right away.

What does that accomplish though? All it does is add more fuel to the fire. That’s why Jesus says, go to the person alone, and deal with it face to face.

You know why people don’t want to do that though? It requires humility. They wronged you. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s their fault. They should be the one coming to you, begging for forgiveness.

Chances are, if you are waiting for an apology from someone who has offended you 10 years ago, and you’re still mad about it, they probably have no idea the hurt they brought to you. It requires humility to go to a brother who has offended you and make things right.

Now Jesus is going to deal with the last issue in this chapter that further expounds on the last. Peter asks in verses 21:

Matthew 18:21 KJV 1900

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

Matthew 18:21

Jesus says this:

Matthew 18:22 KJV 1900

Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

PRAY

Illustration:

-Gina did not grow up in a loving home. Rather, she grew up in an abusive home. Her father was the abuser, and this created a disconnect in their relationship.

-Gina’s family did not have a lot. They were considered poor. She wasn’t well taken care of. She was made fun of at school because of the clothes she had and how she smelled. Her life growing up was something no child should have to go through.

-As she grew older she grew bitter. What her father did to her over the years seemed unforgiveable. She held this grudge within her heart.

Gina’s story is not unique, in fact, many people have similar stories. People who grew up like Gina did in homes that were not loving. People who have been wronged by the ones they loved the most.

Divorces that have taken place. People who have been let down by employers, employees, church leaders, relatives, the list goes on. Instead of giving forgiveness, bitterness has been their choice.

10,000 Sermon Illustrations Clara Barton

Clara Barton, founder of the American Red Cross, was reminded one day of a vicious deed that someone had done to her years before. But she acted as if she had never even heard of the incident.

“Don’t you remember it?” her friend asked.

“No,” came Barton’s reply, “I distinctly remember forgetting it.

Forgiveness is a choice, just as bitterness is a choice. What one will you choose?

Will you allow the grace that has been displayed toward you through Jesus to be evident in the forgiveness to give toward others?

Will you allow unforgiveness to rob you of peace and joy that you could experience right now?

This morning we are going to look at Three Truths found in this text that will help us to better understand forgiveness and why we should display it toward others.

Forgiveness Is A Display of Grace (v. 23-27)

The Debt Was Great (v. 23-25)

This indebted servant worked for the king in this story. As it tells us, as the king examined and audited these record books, this servant owed him ten thousand talents.

Ten thousand talents would be the equivalent of about $10 million in our currency today. There was no way that this man could pay the debt that he owed his lord.

He would make roughly only 1 denarri, or 16 cents per day. The debt was so great that the only way to pay for the debt would mean him, his wife, children, and possessions would all have to be sold in order to appease the king.

This man was in a great dilemma. There was no way out for him, no light at the end of the tunnel, his sin was great and he would have to pay the price.

Romans

This man’s dilemma reminds me of a similar dilemma we all face. We have a problem, and the problem is sin.

Romans 3:23 KJV 1900

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

Romans 3:10 KJV 1900

As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:

Just like this man owed a debt he could not pay. You and I owe a debt we cannot pay. What we have done against God in violating His Word, cannot be paid back through our own means.

Romans 6:23a KJV 1900

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

For the wages of sin is death...

Romans 6:23 KJV 1900

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Eternal separation from God. This is a great dilemma that we find ourselves in, just like this man. This man could have worked for the rest of his life, day in and day out, yet he would never attain forgiveness.

The Request of the Servant (v. 26)

He’s saying, “Have mercy on me. Give me time. I’ll get the money. I’ll do what I can to repay what I owe. Please don’t throw my family into slavery.”

I find it interesting that the man asks for time from the master. He does not ask for forgiveness. How many of you understand that the legal thing for this king to do was to say, “Okay, I’ll give you time, but you have to pay me back everything.”

But this story takes a major turn as the king responds to this servant’s plea.

The Response of the King (v. 27)

This man didn’t ask for forgiveness, but the king gave it to him. He was expecting to pay back all that he owed the king for the rest of his life. Yet, this king wipes away all of the debt that this man owed in one sentence.

This was extravagant grace that was given to the servant. He owed a debt that was impossible to pay, and the king decided to show undeserved favor on this man who had offended him.

It sounds a lot like what Jesus did for us. Yes, this man could not pay the sin debt. Just as you and I cannot pay the debt of our sin, except through eternal separation from God.

Yet we see that does not stop there, it goes on to say,

“…but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

Our God made a way for us so that we could be redeemed. He sent His Son Jesus to come and be born of a virgin, to live a perfect, sinless life. Jesus willingly laid down His life as He was beaten, ridiculed, and scoffed.

He went to a cross to die for us, to shed His blood. He took upon Him your sin and my sin, and the sin of the world. Jesus died on that cross. He took His last breath, but three days later He was breathing again in that tomb.

He arose from the dead. He proved His power over sin, death, and the devil.

While you and I don’t deserve it, and while I cannot comprehend the love that Jesus showed toward me in dying for me, I’m thankful that the King of Kings came down so that through His sacrifice we can be forgiven.

Romans 5:8 KJV 1900

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:6 KJV 1900

For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.

How many of you would agree that this man was without strength? He could not pay the price. This king stepped in and said, forgiven.

Has that happened in your life? Have you experienced the grace of God through salvation? Have you been forgiven?

This man experienced grace from the king. The king didn’t have to forgive him of everything. He didn’t have to wipe away the debt. But great grace was shown upon this poor, needy man.

Now, you would think that because he was shown this type of grace, that he would give great grace as well. Sadly, we find the opposite is true.

Forgiveness is a display of Grace.

When Grace Is Contemplated, Forgiveness Is Sure to Follow (v. 28-33)

As I studied this text, I tried to see the timeline as to when this servant was forgiven to when he went out to his fellow servant and demanded he pay the debt owed to him.

Jesus does not say it was days after, or months. It does not say. I’m convinced that right after this man was forgiven, he turned from the presence of the king, walked out of the throne room with his agenda in mind, GET WHAT BELONGED TO HIM.

Is this not insane? I mean think about it.

-Let’s say that today, for those of us who have some debt in our lives, someone calls us and says, “Hey, Mike, I just wanted to tell you that every debt you have to your name has been paid in full.”

-I might be wondering if this is a scam at first, but after realizing that this was reality, I’d be pretty excited about the whole thing. I’d be thinking about that for days. I’d be telling everyone about what just happened.

-That neighbor that lived next to me that owed me $20, honestly I’d probably forget that they even owed me. I’d be so consumed with the debt that I was forgiven, that any debt that was owed to me would be irrelevant.

Yet, this man goes straight from being forgiven of a great debt, to choking out a man who owed him very little in light of the debt he had just been forgiven of.

Now, we could condemn this man. We could say, “How on earth could this man withhold forgiveness? Why would he not forgive?” But this where the story becomes very real to us.

We, who are saved, have been forgiven by God. Our sin debt has been paid in full. We have experienced extravagant grace. We have been given the gift of eternal life.

How many times do we act like this servant? Instead of contemplating grace, and that we have been saved from wrath, that God has forgiven us when we should have been goners.

We instead dwell on what others have done to us. And instead of forgiving them for what they’ve done to us, we get bitter and expect them to pay up.

He received forgiveness, but did not experience it.

If you sit here this morning with bitterness in your heart toward someone. I want you to listen to what I’m about to say.

Bitterness is looking for someone to pay the price for the offense. “Give me what thou owest me.” When you’re bitter, you want the other person to pay for what they’ve done.

They hurt you, so they should be hurt. They should feel the pain that you’ve had to feel. Someone has to pay for the wrong that has occurred.

When we hold a grudge and when we are bitter, we are expecting the person we are angry against to do something they are incapable of. Atone for sin. We expect them to take away the hurt, take away the guilt, take away the shame, and anger.

Someone has to pay for the wrong that has occurred.

Until we take our bitter hearts to Christ and allow Him to heal us through the Gospel, we will continue to live in bitterness.

Did not Christ die for the sin that was committed against you? Did He not die for that person’s sin as well as yours?

In our minds we somehow think that if we could get even with someone or watch them experience pain and turmoil, then we would someone how be fulfilled.

But the only person that can fix your broken heart, and take that hatred and anger from you, is Jesus. That person you’re bitter against could never and will never do it.

First case was master and servant; second was equal

Why can I forgive, how can I forgive? What I’m trying to tell you is summed up in Ephesians 4:32:

Ephesians 4:32 KJV 1900

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

When you contemplate His grace. And your life is consumed with the Gospel and the great grace that has been shown to you, forgiveness will be natural because it will be on your mind and on your lips.

Bitterness is expecting others to pay a price that Jesus already paid.

Forgiven People Should Be Forgiving People (v. 32-33)

100 pence=100 denarii (1 denarii=16 cents equivalent to a laborer’s daily wage)

31-33

Unforgiveness T

desiredst=urge, plea

Forgiveness is a display of grace

When grace is contemplated, forgiveness is sure to follow

Withholding Forgiveness Brings Torment (v. 34-35)

Because this servant decided to withhold forgiveness, he would experience the torment that goes along with bitterness.

Someone once said, “Bitterness is like drinking poison expecting the other person to die.” When you have bitterness in your heart you can expect trouble.

Hebrews 12:15 KJV 1900

Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

Bitterness is a root issue. The fruit of a tree will be the same as its root. If you plant apple seeds and they take root and grow, guess what your fruit will be? Apples.

10,000 Sermon Illustrations Clara Barton

Clara Barton, founder of the American Red Cross, was reminded one day of a vicious deed that someone had done to her years before. But she acted as if she had never even heard of the incident.

“Don’t you remember it?” her friend asked.

“No,” came Barton’s reply, “I distinctly remember forgetting it.

If bitterness takes root in your heart, guess what the fruit will be? Wickedness, unrighteousness, strife, anger, hatred, the works of the flesh. Until that bitterness is removed and uprooted, you will be displaying the fruit of what’s in your heart.

Maybe there’s someone in this room, you’ve been struggling with sin and can’t seem to get victory. Could it be that the reason you are producing bitter fruit is because there is bitterness in your life?

James 3:16 KJV 1900

For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.

James 3:

In verse 14 this envy is described as bitter envying. So in the life of a bitter person there is confusion and every evil work. The root reflects the fruit.

In verse 16 of , the word confusion means a tumult. For those of use who need a dictionary for that word, a tumult means a loud confused noise.

-If you’re still not sure what that means, come to my house this afternoon for about 20 minutes and you’ll find out real quick!

-You ever tried to have a conversation with someone while there was a screaming baby in the background? That’s hard to hear what the person is saying when that’s happening.

-You ever been in a loud place, whether it was a factory, a sports stadium, a cafeteria, or somewhere where it was very loud with a lot of people?

-You can barely hear the person next to you and what they’re trying to say.

When there is bitterness and strife in your life, it’s like trying to have a conversation with someone standing next to a racecar revving up. You won’t get the message.

How clearly can you hear God this morning? When was the last time you were convicted of sin? How in tune are you with the Spirit of God? When was the last time God’s Word did a work in your heart?

Could it be that your bitterness is drowning out His voice? That there is confusion, a loud noise ringing in your ears to where you can’t hear His voice like you once did.

Withholding forgiveness will cause torment. Friend, don’t live in torment, give it to God, let Him heal you once again.

10,000 Sermon Illustrations Sin Enslaves, Forgiveness Frees

Richard Hoefler’s book Will Daylight Come? includes a homey illustration of how sin enslaves and forgiveness frees.

A little boy visiting his grandparents as given his first slingshot. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit his target. As he came back to Grandma’s back yard, he spied her pet duck. On an impulse he took aim and let fly. The stone hit, and the duck fell dead.

The boy panicked. Desperately he hid the dead duck in the woodpile, only to look up and see his sister watching. Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch that day, Grandma said, “Sally, let’s wash the dishes.” But Sally said, “Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen today. Didn’t you, Johnny?” And she whispered to him, “Remember the duck! So Johnny did the dishes.

Later Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing, Grandma said, “I’m sorry, but I need Sally to help make supper.” Sally smiled and said, “That’s all taken care of. Johnny wants to do it.” Again she whispered, “Remember the duck.” Johnny stayed while Sally went fishing.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally’s, finally he couldn’t stand it. He confessed to Grandma that he’d killed the duck.

“I know, Johnny,” she said, giving him a hug. “I was standing at the window and saw the whole thing. Because I love you, I forgave you. I wondered how long you would let Sally make a slave of you

Conclusion

Forgiveness is a choice just as bitterness is a choice. I told you a story of a lady named Gina at the beginning of the message. She lived in an abusive, neglectful home, abused by her father.

That lady is my mom. My mom grew up in abuse and neglect. I’m not a big fan of my middle name. I would get made fun of for it at times. So I tried to keep it hush hush. My middle name is Eugene.

My grandfather’s name was Eugene. What happened was, not long before my grandpa died, my mom chose to forgive him for what he did against her.

Not long after she made that choice, he passed away. Then, not long after he passed away, I was born. My mom named me after him, giving me his middle name.

She texted me this last night, “Every time I hear it (speaking of my middle name) and look at you, I remember the great act God did in my heart in being able to forgive him simply because he forgave me. How could I not forgive him seeing as how my sin is no better to God than his.”

I am a living reminder to her of a choice she made to forgive. I’m not sure why God had me preach this message today, but I believe there’s someone, if not a few people in this room who have bitterness right now.

Your joy is gone. You’re living a defeated Christian life. You’re not hearing from God like you used to. That person you’re mad against can never atone for the wrong they’ve committed.

But Jesus has already done it. Because He forgave you, you can forgive whoever has offended you.

Matthew 18:21–22 KJV 1900

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Forgiveness, it’s your choice.