Bait of Satan - Conclusion

Regina Bell

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The Audacity

Audacity: Means to be daring or willing to take bold risks.

CHAPTER 9: THE AUDACITY “Audacity,” defined in simple form simply means to be daring or willing to take bold risks. It is having the nerve to do something. It is going against the grain regardless of what others think. One who is audacious is shameless and bold. This individual has a type of impudence about himself. He thinks outside of what is conventional and is not withheld by any restrictions.

◦ Forgiving requires one to be audacious, especially with those offenses that otherwise would not be forgiven.

◦ Forgiveness also requires faith believe it or not.

We have to have faith in God that He will be able to heal us of the effects of the offense.

Luke 11:5–13 NLT

Then, teaching them more about prayer, he used this story: “Suppose you went to a friend’s house at midnight, wanting to borrow three loaves of bread. You say to him, ‘A friend of mine has just arrived for a visit, and I have nothing for him to eat.’ And suppose he calls out from his bedroom, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is locked for the night, and my family and I are all in bed. I can’t help you.’ But I tell you this—though he won’t do it for friendship’s sake, if you keep knocking long enough, he will get up and give you whatever you need because of your shameless persistence. “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. “You fathers—if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.”

He tells of the individual who has a friend that has come to his house and is in need of food. He has no food to give him so he goes to his friend’s house to ask for food. The friend agrees to give him bread, but not because of their friendship. He gives him the bread because his friend had the nerve, the audacity, to knock on his door in the middle of the night and ask for it. He gives his friend something that the other friend needs, which is food. Like the friend who gave the bread, God will give you more if you ask. He will give you all that you need, including healing from the hurt of the offense. He will give you the ability to forgive your offender if you ask.

It takes courage to forgive. When Jesus spoke to his disciples about forgiving offense, His disciples immediately asked Jesus to increase their faith

Luke 17:5 NLT

The apostles said to the Lord, “Show us how to increase our faith.”

You literally have to face the offense and the issues that resulted from the offense.

◦ This, more times than not, requires you to revisit the offense.

◦ You may have to revisit the feelings and the emotions attached to the offense.

◦ It can require many things that you may not be ready to deal with.

◦ It takes courage to put someone who has hurt you before yourself.

◦

◦ Notice the friend in Luke did not ask for food for himself. He obviously needed food. He asked for food to give his friend that had visited. You literally have to put your feelings aside for a moment in order to take the first step in forgiving. You may want to do just the opposite, but what good would that do? It will do nothing for you or them. They may feel the heat of your wrath, but what good is that when you are feeling the heat also? You may even find pleasure in seeing them hurt, but it will not erase the pain in your heart. So what do you do? It is easier said than done, but you forgive them and let the offense go. I can recall a night about 11 years ago. I had just left my therapist’s office. During that visit, I had done what is known as re-experience therapy. This type of therapy is generally used on individuals who have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and/ or who have repressed memories. It uses guided imagery to take the individual back to an experience in order to provide clinical or mental relief. During this particular session, I recall being taken back to the age of five. I remember hearing my therapist’s voice as he guided me back to that moment in time. I was lead back to the house where the molestation took place. It was grey and dreary. It was cold and filled with a moist moldy odor. I walked down a long hallway, passing the restroom to my right, a bedroom to my right, and another bedroom to my left. As I approached the room straight ahead of me, I was stopped by my offender. That was an experience I never want to relive. The sight of my offender pumped a fear in me that was like none I had ever experienced. To remember that moment was too painful for me and I quickly opened my eyes. The session was cut short and I left. I intended to kill myself that night. I had it all planned out. I would leave my children with my parents and end my life. I just could not face my offender, not in that capacity. Well, my plans were foiled when at the last minute I got invited to go to church. During that service, the choir sang a song. Some of the lyrics of the song talked about praising God regardless of what we go through. It talked about praise that I never thought I could ever give. I just did not feel worthy to praise God. Especially after all that I had gone through. I will never forget this, but at that time in the service it was as if the Heavens opened up. I saw a vision of Jesus standing with His arms wide open. He told me that if I would just praise Him, He would heal me. In the vision, I had my hands clasped together and told Him that I could not give Him what I was holding. He told me to give it Him and that He would make everything better. He told me to trust Him; to have faith in Him and that if I would do that my life would never be the same. I trusted Him that night with the little faith that I had and my life has never been the same. You have to have that same faith, that same audacity. Jesus will not take what you are holding on to. You have to give it to Him. It takes faith, but Jesus said that is all you need. All that is required is the faith that is the size of a mustard seed in order to take the first step. Will you take that step?

LOVING ABOVE

In order to forgive there has to be a different type of love, one that is the complete opposite of what the world has to offer.

For example, the world’s type of love is conditional. Once an individual fails to meet the condition, they forfeit the world’s love. We see it all of the time.

The movie star that was once beyond famous during his prime has lost all notoriety now that he is older or the once millionaire loses family and friends once he has lost all of his money.

To love the way God loves, one must be able to overlook one’s faults and love above another person’s faults. We must be able to look past what an individual has actually done and see something greater than them. admonishes us to love each other “above all” because love covers a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8 NLT

Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

Multitude is synonymous to a swarm. If you think of a swarm of bees in an area, love, God’s love, covers that many sins. You may be thinking, “How can I love someone that much? You don’t know what they have done to me. You don’t know how he or she hurt me.” The answer may be simpler than you think. If you are a believer (if you are not, I trust that you will be by the end of this book), the Bible says that the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us (). Well, what does this mean?

This means that there is a love that actually exists in the dark places of our hearts. There is a love that, once we know how, can be tapped into and will allow us to love and forgive. Jesus endured a multitude of things all for our sake, yet He still forgave us. We continue to put Him back on the cross to be crucified because of our lack of love, reverence, and obedience. Yet, He still forgives us. There are new mercies every morning

Lamentations 3:23 NLT

Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.

whether we ask for them or not. God does not stop loving us because we have sinned. The Bible declares that God finds pleasure in forgiving us; that he casts our sins into the sea of forgetfulness

.

Micah 7:18–19 NLT

Where is another God like you, who pardons the guilt of the remnant, overlooking the sins of his special people? You will not stay angry with your people forever, because you delight in showing unfailing love. Once again you will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!

We have the same power that God has, given to us through the blood of Jesus Christ. We too, should find pleasure in forgiving those who have offended us. We too, should forget what they have done to us. This will take a spiritual cleansing of the heart and a renewing of the mind in order to do so. I was not able to forget what my offender had done to me. I still can’t actually forget because my brain still functions properly. I still have the memories of the past. Although I have forgiven my offender, I still cannot forget what has happened because that would be denying that the offense ever took place, thus, forfeiting the forgiveness of the offense altogether. Remember, you have to acknowledge that the offense took place to start the healing process. I have, however, chosen to forget the pain, cover it, and love my offender as the ultimate result. I do not condone what he has done, but I CHOOSE to forgive him with all that is within me.

Lamentations 3:23 KJV 1900

They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

Micah 7:18–19 KJV 1900

Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, And passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? He retaineth not his anger for ever, Because he delighteth in mercy. He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; He will subdue our iniquities; And thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.

Lamentations 3:23 KJV 1900

They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

Romans 5:5 KJV 1900

And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

Romans 5:5 The Message

In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!

DEEPER LOOK - Love Above Ground Level

The Bible says that during the Day of Judgment He (God) will remember our sins in one scripture but in another scripture it says that because of His (God’s) mercies He will remember them (our sins) no more; that He will cast them into the sea of Forgetfulness. How can that be possible?

Micah 7 The Message

I’m overwhelmed with sorrow! sunk in a swamp of despair! I’m like someone who goes to the garden to pick cabbages and carrots and corn And returns empty-handed, finds nothing for soup or sandwich or salad. There’s not a decent person in sight. Right-living humans are extinct. They’re all out for one another’s blood, animals preying on each other. They’ve all become experts in evil. Corrupt leaders demand bribes. The powerful rich make sure they get what they want. The best and brightest are thistles. The top of the line is crabgrass. But no longer: It’s exam time. Look at them slinking away in disgrace! Don’t trust your neighbor, don’t confide in your friend. Watch your words, even with your spouse. Neighborhoods and families are falling to pieces. The closer they are—sons, daughters, in-laws— The worse they can be. Your own family is the enemy. But me, I’m not giving up. I’m sticking around to see what God will do. I’m waiting for God to make things right. I’m counting on God to listen to me. Don’t, enemy, crow over me. I’m down, but I’m not out. I’m sitting in the dark right now, but God is my light. I can take God’s punishing rage. I deserve it—I sinned. But it’s not forever. He’s on my side and is going to get me out of this. He’ll turn on the lights and show me his ways. I’ll see the whole picture and how right he is. And my enemy will see it, too, and be discredited—yes, disgraced! This enemy who kept taunting, “So where is this God of yours?” I’m going to see it with these, my own eyes— my enemy disgraced, trash in the gutter. Oh, that will be a day! A day for rebuilding your city, a day for stretching your arms, spreading your wings! All your dispersed and scattered people will come back, old friends and family from faraway places, From Assyria in the east to Egypt in the west, from across the seas and out of the mountains. But there’ll be a reversal for everyone else—massive depopulation— because of the way they lived, the things they did. Shepherd, O God, your people with your staff, your dear and precious flock. Uniquely yours in a grove of trees, centered in lotus land. Let them graze in lush Bashan as in the old days in green Gilead. Reproduce the miracle-wonders of our exodus from Egypt. And the godless nations: Put them in their place— humiliated in their arrogance, speechless and clueless. Make them slink like snakes, crawl like cockroaches, come out of their holes from under their rocks And face our God. Fill them with holy fear and trembling. Where is the god who can compare with you— wiping the slate clean of guilt, Turning a blind eye, a deaf ear, to the past sins of your purged and precious people? You don’t nurse your anger and don’t stay angry long, for mercy is your specialty. That’s what you love most. And compassion is on its way to us. You’ll stamp out our wrongdoing. You’ll sink our sins to the bottom of the ocean. You’ll stay true to your word to Father Jacob and continue the compassion you showed Grandfather Abraham— Everything you promised our ancestors from a long time ago.

Micha 7

Forgetfulness in the context of Micah chapter 7 is translated as

to pardon or the action of forgiving or being forgiven for an error or offense.

So it is possible to remember the offense and also pardon the offense at the same time. To me, this type of forgiveness brings us closer to the one who offended us. “Well, I don’t want to be close to my offender,” you say.

• When we forgive we give our offender something without expecting something, just like God does us.

• We offer them something that only we can give without giving them or what they have done a second thought.

•

• This is why reconciliation can happen without them ever asking for forgiveness. We were reconciled to the Father when Jesus died on the cross for our sins, prior to ever coming to know Him. “While we were yet enemies [of God] we were reconciled to God by the death of his son [Jesus Christ]” ().

Romans 5:10 NLT

For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son.

•

• When we forgive, it is important to understand that we love above what the individual has done to us.

We make a conscious decision to see things from a bird’s eye view. If you have watched birds fly you will see that they are actually able to see things that we would not necessarily see from a ground point of view. On a plane, or even by satellite, one can see things in a way that we would not normally see them. This is how we should view the faults of our offender. We should look at the big picture of it all–Love. It is love that will cause you to look past one’s fault. It loves above ground level things. Rise above all of the offenses and those things attached to the offense. Love always prevails. “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” ( NKJV)

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 The Message

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.

• RECONCILIATION-FORGIVENESS IN ACTION “Re” (Again) “Conciled”

Defined: Made friendly or agreeable

• When I, as well as probably the majority of others, think of reconciliation, I automatically imagine the offender as coming and personally asking for forgiveness and then there being some dramatic, “yes,” from the offended with tears and hugs included; something similar to a marriage proposal. I imagine the two, offender and offended, walking hand in hand into the sunset and then there being a “Happily Ever After,” ending. We all wish for that, but unfortunately that is not reality in most cases. In most cases, the offender does not typically acknowledge they have even committed an offense let alone apologize for doing wrong. Half of the time, they don’t apologize the way we envisioned or expected them to.

• Webster defines reconciliation as, “Becoming friendly or agreeable again.”

•

• To me, this denotes that both parties do not have to be friendly or agreeable but at least one of those parties has to be.

.... I can be friendly or agreeable,

not holding grudges, toward my offender, thus bringing about reconciliation.

• It is possible because God made it possible. I feel compelled to, at this point, add that there are some instances, especially involving abuse, where we must be wise in how we reconcile, especially if the offender has not sought help in his or her own recovery. For example, if the offense, as in my case, involves sexual abuse, it would not be wise to leave your children alone with your offender, especially if the offender has not taken the proper steps towards sexual offender therapy and counseling.

You can be friendly towards the individual, showing them the love of God and forgiving them, all while making wise decisions.

Now, as I was previously stating,

Reconciliation can occur on just your side.

Reconciliation: implies putting an individual back into their rightful position as in our case with God.

Jesus reconciled us, putting us back in right position with God when he became the ultimate sacrifice. We were completely disconnected from the Father, not even looking to be reconnected, but God, because of Jesus, “Re” (Again) “Conciled” (Made friendly or agreeable) us. God chose to become friendly with us again even when we were not friendly towards Him. Reconciliation is forgiveness in action.

• As I have previously illustrated, forgiving is very much an inward action, something that we have to do on the inside. Reconciliation is more of the outward evidence that forgiveness has actually taken place. The one who was offended has taken action to become amicable with their offender, whether the offender accepts it or not.

The offended has not denied that the offense has taken place, but has chosen to cover the offense by allowing God to do a work in his or her own heart as well as the heart of the offender.

God’s work does not, I repeat, does not have to be accepted. Just like Jesus’ work on the cross was not accepted by the Jews, God’s work in our hearts does not have to be accepted either. God will not force us to accept Him or His work. Therefore, we must be careful to accept the fact that while we may have been changed through the power of Jesus Christ, our offender may not have been.

We must learn how to be proactive rather than reactive and respond, not react, accordingly.

•

• There is a difference. It is important to know that a

reaction is giving away the power that you have over yourself.

You are reacting to a stimulus; something someone has said or done. It is a subconscious consequence based on something that has happened. A response is consciously thought out. The respondent, in our case, the offended, can choose how he or she will respond to a situation. The stimuli, the offense, may cause the offended to want to react negatively, but the response can be in love. I feel that it is important to understand the

True meaning of the word, “forgive.”

The prefix in the word forgive is,

“For.” This denotes something happening before time, space, or condition.

It gives the connotation that something is in front of or superior to something. For example foresight means to, “see before.” The root word of the word forgive is,

“Give”. Webster defines the word as, “making a present of or to grant or bestow by formal action.”

This means that we can give someone something beforehand. We can give them something before they ask for our forgiveness.

◦ Forgiving requires one to be audacious, especially with those offenses that otherwise would not be forgiven.

YOUR FAITH–HIS GRACE

◦ Forgiveness also requires faith, believe it or not. We have to have faith in God that He will be able to heal us of the effects of the offense.

Earlier we talked about having the faith to take the first steps to forgiving our offenders. Now, I would like to talk about the faith it takes to sustain that forgiveness. Depending on the actual offense, you may have to do what Jesus instructed Peter to do and forgive 70 times 7 (

Matthew 18:22 KJV 1900

Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

). You may have to forgive that same offense over and over and over again depending on what actually happened to you. Forgiveness is liken unto a long road. If you take notice to major construction of long highways, you will notice several things that are relevant in our walk of forgiveness. Some of those highways can take over 10 years to build. Now, I am not saying that it will take you 10 years to forgive, but it can. Depending on what was done and your faith in Jesus, it can take you longer. Unfortunately, some people never actually reach total forgiveness. I remember struggling with forgiving my offender. No matter how hard I tried or how much I thought I was over it, little things just kept creeping back into my conscious. I would think I was over it, but then small remnants of pain would resurface. I remember asking God why this was happening. God showed me a damaged road. The road was several years old and there were cracks in its surface. The road needed repairing. God showed me how in reconstruction projects of that nature the reconstruction has to be done in increments. You literally have to work on a small portion at a time until you have finished repaving the road. I know now, that the road God showed me was the road to true forgiveness for me. There are several things that occur in the reconstruction of damaged roads. The major processes include milling, cleaning, and resurfacing. Milling requires the miller to remove the old surface. They strategically do this with a special machine, known as a milling machine. The area is then cleaned of all debris and then resurfaced with new asphalt. There is an additional process call rejuvenation. Rejuvenation is a preventive technique used to prolong the road’s service life. Like that road, we have to understand that forgiveness can actually come in increments until the individual has fully forgiven. God will take His time in each individual part, piece after piece. He will remove all of the old asphalt of your heart. He will clean it of all of the debris that still remains from the old surface, and He will resurface it. He will then rejuvenate you to prolong your life, spiritually and physically. This process requires patience and it requires faith. You cannot expect an instantaneous change to something that took perhaps years to create. The sign might say, “Road Closed,” for a time being, but it will soon be reopened and it will look better than ever. All it takes is faith. Paul experienced a similar instance in the book of 2 Corinthians. Paul begged God, at least three times to remove a thorn in his flesh. Now, no one knows for sure what that thorn was. Some say it was an actual physical ailment. Others say that it was an actual person. No one knows for sure, but what we do know is that the thorn was a source of great pain for Paul. Paul asked God to remove it and God denied his request. In fact, God told Paul that his grace was sufficient. There are times when God will not remove the offense, but He will grace us to endure the thorn and all that comes along with it. It humbled Paul to know that while God would not remove the thorn, He would grace him to endure it. He was humbled in knowing that while he was weak, he was yet strong because of the power of God’s grace. We too can tap into that grace. All we need is faith, faith to ask and faith to know that no matter how long we have to deal with the thorn (offense) God’s power will give us strength. We can never get to the point where we do not need God’s grace. We need His grace and mercy daily! We are by no means perfect. Oh, but for the grace of God and the blood of Jesus are we alive today. Make no mistake, you were offended but that did not rid you of sin and the need to be justified. It is imperative to realize that if not for Jesus, where would you be? It is by the grace of God that you even survived. Many say that the word, “grace,” is the acronym, God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. We are gifted with the riches of God because of what Jesus did on the cross for our sins. It is grace that saves us, but in order to be saved, faith is an absolute must. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus asked God to remove the cup from Him. He could not bear the cross alone. God, in the human flesh, was afraid. He was afraid to go to the cross because He knew what He would have to endure. Even in that, Jesus knew what was necessary to save His offenders; you and me. shows that In His understanding, Jesus tells God “Yet not my will, but yours be done.” He knew that regardless of what he wanted, there was a greater purpose that needed to be accomplished. Regardless of how big or small your faith is, know that God will grace you to accomplish what He has purposed you for. He will grace you to overcome the offense so that He can use you in a greater way. You have to accept His grace. Don’t be stubborn and choose to do this alone. You are not strong enough, but God is. His grace is all you need.

The major processes include milling, cleaning, and resurfacing.

Milling requires the miller to remove the old surface. They strategically do this with a special machine, known as a milling machine. The area is then cleaned of all debris and then resurfaced with new asphalt.

There is an additional process call rejuvenation.

Rejuvenation is a preventive technique used to prolong the road’s service life.

Like that road, we have to understand that forgiveness can actually come in increments until the individual has fully forgiven.

God will take His time in each individual part, piece after piece. He will remove all of the old asphalt of your heart. He will clean it of all of the debris that still remains from the old surface, and He will resurface it. He will then rejuvenate you to prolong your life, spiritually and physically. This process requires patience and it requires faith. You cannot expect an instantaneous change to something that took perhaps years to create. The sign might say, “Road Closed,” for a time being, but it will soon be reopened and it will look better than ever.

All it takes is faith. Paul experienced a similar instance in the book of

Paul begged God, at least three times to remove a thorn in his flesh. Now, no one knows for sure what that thorn was. Some say it was an actual physical ailment. Others say that it was an actual person. No one knows for sure, but what we do know is that the thorn was a source of great pain for Paul. Paul asked God to remove it and God denied his request. In fact, God told Paul that his grace was sufficient. There are times when God will not remove the offense, but He will grace us to endure the thorn and all that comes along with it. It humbled Paul to know that while God would not remove the thorn, He would grace him to endure it. He was humbled in knowing that while he was weak, he was yet strong because of the power of God’s grace. We too can tap into that grace. All we need is faith, faith to ask and faith to know that no matter how long we have to deal with the thorn (offense) God’s power will give us strength. We can never get to the point where we do not need God’s grace. We need His grace and mercy daily! We are by no means perfect. Oh, but for the grace of God and the blood of Jesus are we alive today. Make no mistake, you were offended but that did not rid you of sin and the need to be justified. It is imperative to realize that if not for Jesus, where would you be? It is by the grace of God that you even survived. Many say that the word,

“grace,” is the acronym, God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.

We are gifted with the riches of God because of what Jesus did on the cross for our sins. It is grace that saves us, but in order to be saved, faith is an absolute must. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus asked God to remove the cup from Him. He could not bear the cross alone. God, in the human flesh, was afraid. He was afraid to go to the cross because He knew what He would have to endure. Even in that, Jesus knew what was necessary to save His offenders; you and me.

shows that In His understanding, Jesus tells God “Yet not my will, but yours be done.” He knew that regardless of what he wanted, there was a greater purpose that needed to be accomplished.

Regardless of how big or small your faith is, know that God will grace you to accomplish what He has purposed you for.

He will grace you to overcome the offense so that He can use you in a greater way.

You have to accept His grace. Don’t be stubborn and choose to do this alone. You are not strong enough, but God is.

His grace is all you need.

2 Corinthians 12:9 KJV 1900

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Matthew 18:22 KJV 1900

Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

I personally, believe that the effects of the actual offense are what make it so hard to forgive in the first place. If we could just have the faith that God will heal us of those effects, we could ultimately forgive. Things like anger, hurt, and the resentment make it hard to let the offense go. You have to have the audacity to seek the Father for that healing. Jesus tells a story of the impudent person (). He tells of the individual who has a friend that has come to his house and is in need of food. He has no food to give him so he goes to his friend’s house to ask for food. The friend agrees to give him bread, but not because of their friendship. He gives him the bread because his friend had the nerve, the audacity, to knock on his door in the middle of the night and ask for it. He gives his friend something that the other friend needs, which is food. Like the friend who gave the bread, God will give you more if you ask. He will give you all that you need, including healing from the hurt of the offense. He will give you the ability to forgive your offender if you ask. It takes courage to forgive. When Jesus spoke to his disciples about forgiving offense, His disciples immediately asked Jesus to increase their faith (). You literally have to face the offense and the issues that resulted from the offense.

◦ This, more times than not, requires you to revisit the offense.

HEAVENLY RECONCILIATION

One of the mistakes that we make in terms of forgiveness is expecting there to be a mutual reconciliation between the offender and the offended. There are times when the offender will make no effort to repent for what they have done wrong and we have to be okay with that. We cannot allow the offender to have that much power over us.

Can we not move on without an actual apology? Sure we can.

One thing that I have learned in my walk with God is that we will all be held accountable for our actions in this life. He will ask us why we did this or why we did not do that. We will have to answer for all that we have done in this life. I say this because if you choose not to forgive, He will ask you why and you must have an answer for Him. He will not take the fact that your offender did not come to you and personally apologize for how they wronged you. That will not be a good enough excuse, nothing will be. My offender did not apologize and I wanted so badly for him to do so. I had come to terms with the offense and had truly experienced a love for my offender like I had never experienced before. I chose to save my offender the shame of having to face me because I understood why he had done what he had done. God had gifted me with compassion for him so great that I was

??? Are you able to look past the offense at the true culprit–Satan

. Satan’s intent was to utterly destroy me, but his plan had backfired. The love that I had for my offender was a love that could only come from God. The love that I had was agape love.

Jesus exemplified Agape love when He died on the cross for all of mankind. I had also experienced the Philia type of love.

This love is a brotherly love.

Romans 12:10 NLT

Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

admonishes us, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” I became devoted to my offender in a different way, honoring him and loving him. I loved him. I put my feelings below his; thereby closing the gap that Satan had strategically designed. What God had to remind me of was that my offender was also his child. God does not want his children to fight. He does not want us to be divided. He wants us to have a bond so strong that no enemy vice or weapon can penetrate it. While we may never be reconciled in terms of both parties coming into a mutual agreement to be kind again to one another here on this earth, we must understand that it is possible to be reconciled in Heaven. If the offender and the offended are both believers in Jesus Christ, I believe that they will meet again in Heaven. That moment will be a joyous moment because the Bible declares that in Heaven there will be no more tears or sorrow ().

For those who may have been offended by an unbeliever, my suggestion would be to pray for your offender’s salvation. You should not be

praying that they, “receive their just reward,” like most people do.

Pray for them like Jesus did on the cross.

Pray that God forgive them for not knowing what they have done ().

Pray that even if they are on their deathbed, they accept Jesus into their hearts as their Lord and Savior.

I believe that if you do that, God will honor your prayer. The Bible says that Jesus reconciled all things, including you and me, to Himself by making peace with His blood (). The scripture does not end there, but it goes on to say that we were once alienated from God because we were His enemies because of our evil behavior, but that God reconciled us, by Jesus’s death, to be presented as holy in his sight, without mark or blemish ().

If we are to be like God, we must remember all that He has done not just for us but also for our offender.

In God’s sight, if our offender is a believer as well, he or she is also without mark or blemish in the eyes of God.

We may never be able to understand why things happen in life. We may never understand why God allowed them to happen to us, but we must trust God. We must trust that He knows all things and that even this will work together for our good (). We may never understand it, but we must KNOW that we have a purpose and that whatever was said or done to us will work together for our good. It has to. Be encouraged and know that you can do this thing. You can forgive. You can live out your purpose. Whatever happened did not destroy you. It made you stronger. Be of good faith and walk out forgiveness the way that Jesus did. I am a living witness that you can forgive.

God says to you, “Go my son. Go my daughter. Be me in the Earth. Reach out and show the world how to love. Show them how to forgive.”

Whether you’re weeding out the old issues that have taken root or trying to nurture rather than neutralize your own productivity,

◦ You may have to revisit the feelings and the emotions attached to the offense.

I offer you

Three very basic steps

that may help you to overcome the beatings and maximize the gift that God has given you called life.

1. Admit it.

Hiding the truth from yourself and others close to you only delays healing. While it may not be practical to shout from the rooftops every type of transgression, it is still true that this cancerous

Unforgiveness gathers power in secrecy.

Being able to at some level reckon with the past by admitting the mistake is important. Failure to acknowledge wrongdoings is often a sign that rehabilitation isn’t working. As long as we blame others for what secretly we know we caused, we cannot move forward. Many times people who hurt the most are very silent about what hurts them. They may be the life of the party for others, but that doesn’t mean that they are happy inside of themselves. I am a great believer in drawing from the bank of close friends and being able to show them not only your accomplishments but also your failures. To live your life hiding your flaws from those you love is to deny them the strength of love that builds a bond unbreakable. It keeps the relationship watered down to such a weak level that most really important relationships will not withstand the lack of trust that is exhibited when we never trust anyone with our whole self and only share with them who we wish we were.

This

Irreconcilable difference

between who we would like to be and who we are will often bankrupt even the most sincere relationships, as we never bring our real selves with the vulnerability to the table.

So people never get to love who we are, they are forced to love only our ideal self, the one we would like to be but are not. Admitting flaws and experiencing love from people who know us helps us to love ourselves. Understand that love from them will seem awkward and may even be repulsive as it is hard to receive a love that you don’t feel you warrant. But admit that, too, ask for patience, ventilate the struggle to receive love, and work on it together with people who love you enough to help free you from your dungeon.

2. Convert it.

Take the energy that is being spent in suffering and recycle it to use your pain to empower others.

Write about it,

teach about it,

share your story with people who may be tempted to make the mistakes you have made

and show them how you are overcoming it by using the experience that was so bad for something good.

Converting our agony to motivation is a very important step in self-recovery.

An explosion never occurs when energy is converted to a purpose. If you believe as I do that everything happens for a reason, you must find that reason and turn those experiences that threaten to detonate in your life into a useful energy source that empowers you and others.

In church we say that

Our ministry is often made from our misery

While on the surface that may sound strange,

reality

it is

The power of conversion that makes us able to use our pain for power to help others through a storm.

Now, I can imagine that some things that cause us not to be able to forgive ourselves may be too personal or painful to share in a public forum. But finding some way to give meaning to your malady is important even if it isn’t the sort of thing you can readily discuss. Helping others prevent or avoid similar pain is often a healing balm. You can’t compensate for what you have lost, but you can contribute to the well-being of others.

3. Close it.

There has to be a moment where you say, I am through paying the price for my sins. I recognize that this destructive way of coping neither reverses what I have done nor does it benefit anyone, including me.

I am going to close the door on the destructive behavior my pain creates and close this cycle before it destroys me.

Closure may involve

having

...long-overdue conversations,

...writing letters to ask for someone else’s forgiveness,

...or serving others

without telling them why you are motivated to give them your time and talents.

In this life we will never know the perfect beauty of the Garden of Eden. But we can know what it’s like to weed out the bitter roots that threaten our peace and well-being.

we can know what it’s like to weed out the bitter roots that threaten our peace and well-being. We can let go of the blame we place on ourselves and move to a new place of freedom and fruit-bearing productivity.

We can let go of the blame we place on ourselves and move to a new place of freedom and fruit-bearing productivity.

OUR PRAYER FOR HEALING FROM OFFENSE

◦ It can require many things that you may not be ready to deal with.

◦ It takes courage to put someone who has hurt you before yourself.

Heavenly Father, I have been deeply offended, to the point I did not want to forgive. You have shown me through your word that not only is unforgiveness a sin, but that it can rob me of operating fully in the purpose you have ordained for me. Forgive me for harboring resentment in my heart. Teach me your ways, Oh God. That I may love like you love. Teach me how to forgive like you forgive. I choose to let go of the offense and I plead the blood of Jesus over every wound that has been caused as a result of the offense. I let go of all of the hurt and the pain. I come against the spirit of offense that has tried to take dominion over me and I bind every demon that has tried to hold me back from all that you would have me to be. I am no longer in agreement with the enemy. Help me to give up every argument against forgiveness quickly so that I may reach full healing and restoration just as quickly. Thank you for healing my broken heart. In Jesus’s name, Amen