Family Men 4-5-08
TITLE: God's Standard for Manliness
TEXT: Eph 5:25‑33
Objective: It is God's desire that a man act and live like a man. God's standard for a man and the World's standard for a man are different.
INTRODUCTION:
1. What is a man to do? --Husbands are to love their wives
2. Men are a strange and interesting lot
a. Man’s croquet
b. Shooting guns
c. Hunting
d. picking their toes
e. Watching the wrestling – throwing others around
f. Want trucks and motorcycles
g. want to please or impress women
h. Want to be boss, dictator, inbred
i. See something “manly” and say AH AH AH
j. Tim the Tool man
k. Dirt bikes and motorcycles
l. Go into danger-- Fire fighters, policemen,
m. Go on and on
n. Let’s say “I was wrong about something and I was right about something. You go first.
She says, “I was wrong..” He says, “You’re right.”
2. Men must be
Titus 2:2 ESV 2 Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.
Titus 2:6-8 ESV 6 Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. 7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, 8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.
a. Accountable, b. Responsible, c. Full of integrity
3. So what makes a real man?
4. God's standard for manliness is not obtainable except through Jesus Christ.
5. It is one of the observations by many that boys and men are really getting short changed in the world today. Shouldn’t there be a man’s rights march, not just a woman’s right?
I. God's imperative for manliness
Man has a God given desire for respect and admiration. He drives to achieve. God sets a different standard for man than the World sets.
A. Contrast (World's standard vs. God's standard)
1. The Error of Man's standard
Proverbs 14:12 ESV There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.
a. A man will usually behave to impress his wife unless he says, “Its not worth it.”
b. Parents can be a wrong standard
1) Get idea from watching dad
2) Dad is not always right
“Father knows best.”
c. Peers‑‑Acceptance of peers
‑‑Peer pressure is strong
d. Media‑‑
1) Commercials for Toyota Tundra
2) Like a rock
I was strong as I could be.
Like a rock
Nothing ever got to me....
--Howie – Chevy that goes longer
3) Youth, wealth, leisure
(Mid life crisis)
Reason for Mid life Crisis—Is this all there is?
e. Literature
‑‑self‑help books
‑‑All must be examined in light of Scripture
f. Physical strength and appearance
g. Material possessions
h. Dominating others
‑‑Over power peers
‑‑Dominate his wife
i. Sexual exploits
2. Excellence of God's standards
a. Purity of Character instead of physical strength and appearance
ISA 53:2. . . . He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. (NIV)
b. Giving spirit instead of material possessions
Matthew 8:20 ESV And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.”
c. Servant attitude instead of dominating others
Matthew 11:29 ESV Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
d. Moral purity instead of sexual exploits
Hebrews 13:4 ESV Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
B. The Character‑‑Manliness is created by character
‑‑Love as found in Ephesians 5:25 ESV Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
1. Standard of love
a. World's standard -- Get all you can get
--Show your manliness by --Lust
b. God's Standard -- Love
1) John 3:16
2) The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey
"At one seminar I was speaking on the concept of proactivity, a man came up and said, 'Stephen, I like what you are saying. But every situation is so different. Look at my marriage. I'm really worried. My wife and I just don't have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don't love her any more and she doesn't love me. What can I do?'
'The feeling isn't there anymore?' I asked.
'That's right,' he affirmed. 'And we have three children we're concerned about. What do you suggest?'
'Love her,' I replied.
'I told you, the feeling just isn't there anymore.'
'Love her.'
'You don't understand. The feeling of love just isn't there.'
'Then love her. If the feeling isn't there, that's a good reason to love her.'
'But how do you love when you don't love?'
'My friend, love is a verb. Love--the feeling--is the fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?'
"In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. They're driven by feelings. Hollywood has generally scripted us to believe that we are not responsible, but that we are a product of our feelings. But the Hollywood script does not describe reality. If our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so."
"Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something to do; the sacrifice you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. If you are a parent, look at the love you have for the children you sacrificed for. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling, can be recaptured."
C. Christ's Love was and is:
1. Sacrificial
John 10:1 ESV “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door but climbs in by another way, that man is a thief and a robber.
John 10:15 ESV just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.
2. Purifying love
Ephesians 5:26 ESV that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
3. Caring
Ephesians 5:29 ESV For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
Ephesians 5:33 ESV However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
4. Permanent
Ephesians 5:31 ESV “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
Romans 8:35 ESV Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?
Romans 8:38-39 ESV 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
5. The Demonstration of Love
a. Consideration
1PE 3:7. Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (NIV)
1) Put himself in her place
2) Be willing to change his schedule of work or recreation to do her desires
3) Make time to listen and regard her viewpoints
4) Always speak kindly to her and about her to others
b. Courtesy
1) Treat her like a lady, she is not one of the guys
2) Mowing the lawn, taking out the garage, moving furniture when necessary
3) Doing housework‑‑
"fellow heirs of the grace of life"
c. Communion
‑‑sharing his heart with her
D. Conduct
1. Provider
Genesis 3:19 ESV By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”
1 Timothy 5:8 ESV But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
‑‑He is to be the bread winner
‑‑Wife is to be a "keeper at home"
2. Protector
a. Protects from evil men
1) Does not permit his wife alone in danger
2) Chooses carefully friends for family
b. Protects from evil influences
1) Guard music, games, TV, books, etc
c. Protects from hard elements
‑‑Provides food and shelter
‑‑Protects from harsh cold and heat
d. Protects from manly physical labor
‑‑From Hard labor in factories
‑‑Carrying baby and bags, etc.
‑‑any heavy lifting
3. The Leader
1 Corinthians 11:3 ESV But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
a. Accepts responsibility
Matthew 20:25-28 ESV 25 But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, 28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
‑‑leadership is gained by serving
b. Provides Direction
‑‑Delegates authority appropriately
‑‑Allows members of family to make decisions
II. God's Incredible power for fulfillment
WITHOUT THE POWER OF THE INDWELLING HOLY SPIRIT AND A GROWING KNOWLEDGE OF THE WORD OF GOD, A MAN CANNOT ACCOMPLISH HIS ASSIGNED ROLE AS A MAN IN THE HOME.
A. Surrendering to the Holy Spirit
1. The Holy Spirit indwells every believer at salvation.
Romans 8:14-17 ESV 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
2. The Holy Spirit secures every Christian
Ernest of the Spirit
3. Filling of the Spirit is ongoing
a. Requires a constant, moment by moment choice
Eph 5:18 be filled‑GR‑"Be ye being filled."
‑‑Choice to yield to the Holy Spirit
b. Requires confession of sin
Ephesians 4:30 ESV And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
c. Demands a predetermination for obedience
Ephesians 5:17 ESV Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
‑‑seek out and do the will of God‑‑
B. Submit to God's Word
Colossians 3:16 ESV 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
1. Study God's Word
2 Timothy 2:15 ESV 15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.
‑‑Reading
‑‑Understanding
‑‑Cross‑referencing
‑‑Word meanings
‑‑Making it practical
2. Applying God's Word
‑‑God's Word is relevant
‑‑It does apply to daily life
==Truth instead of lying
==Financial responsibility
==Planning for future
==Moral purity
==Freedom from guilt
3. Obey God's Word
‑‑God will reveal His will to the one willing to obey
‑‑Obedience is the Key
Joshua 1:8 ESV 8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.
Conclusion:
1. Manliness is side by side with Godliness
2. Godliness is the top priority
3. Are you saved?
4. Are you committed to Jesus Christ?
5. Are you loving your wife as God designed?