Too Much Coffee

(Thanks to The Gospel Greats for today's humor.  KB)

 YOU KNOW YOU HAVE HAD TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN...

You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked
  You grind your coffee beans in your mouth
  You sleep with your eyes open
  You have to watch videos in fast-forward
  You lick your coffee pot clean
  Your eyes stay open when you sneeze
  The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse
  You can type sixty words a minute with your feet
  You can jump-start your car without cables
  You don't sweat, you percolate