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            The influencing potential of the nonanxious presence is not to be confused with being “cool” or being “nice.”  Nor is it to be construed as denying anxiety in ourselves, as it unaffected by events.  The nonanxious presence involves engagement, being there and taking the heat if need be, witnessing the pain, and yet not fighting fire with fire.  The nonanxious presence means we are aware of our own anxiety and the anxiety of others, but we will not let either determine our actions.  Obviously this means that we have some capacity to tolerate pain both in ourselves and in others.

Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times, Peter L. Steinke, page 37