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I. Introduction
The Bible begins with a wedding, the marriage of the first humans, Adam and Eve.
The Bible ends with a wedding, the marriage of the Lamb and the Church, when heaven and earth collide and humankind once again lives and walks before the presence of God himself.
Marriage is not a human institution.
It is of God’s design.
Marriage is an incredibly important image in the Bible and an incredibly important event in our lives.
However, the essence and purpose of marriage has been in confusion for more than a century, especially in Western culture.
Some may point to the issue of same-sex marriage and say, “This marks the downfall of marriage,” but in reality the essence and purpose of marriage has run off-track long before that.
The purpose of marriage in particular is what we’re looking at this morning.
In today’s world, marriage is often seen as merely a transaction of services: husband and wife give one another social status, financial security, or sexual pleasure.
If ever the costs outweighs the benefits, or if you start putting in more than you’re getting out, the marriage is no longer fulfilling its purpose of providing individual satisfaction, so it’s time to look elsewhere.
Marriage is sometimes seen as a vehicle for self-fulfillment or self-realization.
We look for someone who will support our goals in life, our values, our lifestyles.
If our spouse asks for change or for us to sacrifice any of these areas of our lives, the marriage is no longer fulfilling its purpose of promoting and supporting my dreams, so it’s time to look elsewhere.
Even in Christian culture, we miss the purpose of marriage.
How many young Christians fret over and rush to get married because they’ve been told directly and indirectly that marriage is the ultimate source of happiness and fulfillment.
Marriage is the gateway to a lifetime of joy and bliss.
All one needs in life is a someone to love and be loved by.
And when the marriage isn’t always sunny, isn’t always easy, and your partner begins looking more and more, dare I say, human, marriage is no longer fulfilling its purpose, so its time to look elsewhere.
None of these purposes are satisfying nor durable.
If marriage is of God’s design, than surely the purpose is more stable and satisfying than any of these options.
So this morning we’re going to look at the biblical purpose for marriage, and what we see from Scripture is that the purpose of marriage is to help one another become our New Creation selves.
II.
See and know the flaws and blemishes.
A) Marriage brings you into the closest, most inescapable relationship possible among people.
1) In marriage you are forced to deal with the flaws and sins of another.
a) : There is a profound unity in marriage.
i) “You are my bone and flesh” and “hold fast” is covenantal language.
A covenant is a legal, binding commitment between two or more parties.
The relationship in a covenant is more important than the individual members.
b) : There is a profound intimacy in marriage.
b) : There is a profound intimacy in marriage.
i) “Bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh” and “they shall become one flesh” is language unparalleled in Scripture to describe the intimacy to be found in marriage.
c) The combination of unity and intimacy in the marriage relationship means that you are forced to deal with each other’s flaws and sins.
i) Illustration: Melanie and I’s different outlooks on how events will unfold.
My optimism often led us to make rash, unwise decisions without fully addressing the consequences, whereas Melanie’s pessimism would lead us making decisions based on anxiety, fear, and we’d miss out on a good opportunity.
2) Your spouse is more keenly aware of what is wrong with you than anyone else ever has been.
No one is as inconvenienced and hurt by your flaws as is your spouse.
a) Others have seen and been affected by these flaws and sins of yours.
However, given the flexibility in your other relationships, you may not have had to come to grips with them.
Others have seen and been affected by these flaws and sins of yours.
i) Parents, siblings, roommates have all lived with you and thus have shared some aspects of the intimacy of marriage.
But, unlike in marriage, you could easily escape their criticisms by claiming they are biased or mistaken, or you could simply offer a vague promise to do and be better in the future.
ii) Friends have shared some aspects of the intimacy of marriage.
But unlike marriage, it is unlikely that your confronters keep up their confrontations, and so you haven’t really had to admit the severity of the problem.
b) However, given the flexibility in your other relationships, you may not have had to come to grips with them.
b) No one is as inconvenienced and hurt by your flaws as is your spouse.
i) What are mild problems for other relationships, are often major problems for your spouse.
Holding a grudge can cause problems for a friendship, but in a marriage it can kill the relationship.
Pornography can cause problems among friends, but in a marriage it can become a black hole in the relationship.
B) You must cultivate a marriage where sins and weaknesses are seen, known, and spoken to.
1) Marriage reveals your weaknesses, it doesn’t create them.
a) Illustration:
a) Marriage brings out the worst in you that has been there all along.
i) Illustration: My struggle with negative emotions.
This erroneous perspective on emotions was there before the marriage, but it wasn’t until being married to another human being who allowed herself to be angry, sad, and afraid did I have to actually face my faults.
b) This is actually a blessing.
i) The only flaws that you are enslaved to are the ones that you are blind to.
How can you become your new creation self if you assume you’re already pretty close to perfect as is?
How can you see the flaws that you’ve become numb or blind to unless someone reveals them to you?
2) Revelation helps to free you from your sins.
a) If you are blind to your sin, it has control over you.
i) On the cross, the grave consequences of our flaws, sins, and weaknesses are displayed.
i) Illustration: If you are unaware that you are a perfectionist, then that unseen tendency to be critical of others and especially yourself will unwittingly control your interactions with others.
You’ll constantly find fault in others.
You’ll feel superior, and yet at the same time your core belief that you yourself are never good enough will cloud your judgment of how others perceive you.
1.
Our response to the cross is not, “How dare you show me that!”
b) Bringing sins to light is the first step towards freedom.
i) The cross is the ultimate revelation of our sinfulness, and the basis for our freedom.
On the cross we see the grave consequences of our sins and weaknesses.
Recognizing our need for saving and utter dependency on Christ is the beginning of our sanctification.
: Marriage is connected to this process of Christ sanctifying us all, washing us of all spots and wrinkles, some that we knew about, and others that were made known to us along the way.
: Faithful are the wounds of a friend
: Exhort one another every day that non of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
: confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.
3) Liberation can only happens when spouses are given the right to speak to these sins.
a) Create an environment in the relationship that gives your spouse the right to speak to your sins.
: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.”
i) : “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.”
ii) : “Exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.”
If this is true for all Christians, how much more true must it be for those who are in Christian marriages?
iii) : “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”
Show your spouse that you need their help in revealing your faults and weaknesses by confessing them regularly and inviting your spouse to pray with and for you.
III.
Give yourself up for the vision of your spouse renewed.
Give yourself up for the vision of your spouse renewed.
A) Christ gave himself up for us so that we could become our new creation selves.
1) Christ’s love is a commitment to our renewed selves.
a) : Jesus did not die for us because we were lovely, but he gave himself up to make us lovely.
a) The goal of Christ’s love is set on the horizon of the New Creation.
i) : Jesus did not die for us because we were lovely, but he gave himself up to make us lovely.
a) : Jesus did not die for us because we were lovely, but he gave himself up to make us lovely.
ii) : “I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
iii) Jesus’ forgiveness of our sins was the good work that was begun, but it is not finished.
The purpose of Christ’s love will be accomplished only when we are standing before the throne of the Lamb in the New Creation without spot or wrinkle.
Illustration: Melanie and I have purchased a ticket to Hawaii, which is exciting, but it’s a good work begun.
We are eagerly looking forward to its completion.
In the same way, the intent behind Jesus giving himself up for the church is so that we, his bride, can become our New Creation selves.
2) The love of Christ is forward looking.
a) Jesus has a vision of our future glory, and everything he does in our lives moves us towards that goal.
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