Family Children 4-20-08
TITLE: The Training of Children
TEXT: Deut 6:4‑7
OBJECTIVE: God wants parents to train children in a Godly way. It is up to us to follow Him and obey Him in raising or our children.
INTRODUCTION:
John 10:10 ESV The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
1. Children are under overwhelming assault from Satan
a. Suicide rate is staggering
b. Alcoholism and drug abuse is epidemic—Monday evening at the High School Auditorium—Alcohol awareness – drunk driving simulator
c. Many school systems are distributing condoms w/o consent of parents. STDs are epidemic‑‑
Center for Disease Control is giving half of facts
d. Child abuse is on the rise
April is Prevent Child Abuse Month
See Brochure
2. The Bible has been thrown out of public schools
3. Morality has been down graded
4. Home and family values are being eroded
a. Family values‑‑
President commits adultery, lies and has a party on the White House lawn.
b. Divorces have left millions torn apart
5. What is a parent to do?
a. Christian homes must seek to implant Godly values
b. What are we to do?
1) Is the Church helping the family?
2) Is the School helping the family?
3) Is the government helping the family?
a) How long can a country stand that kills its babies?
b) How long can a country stand that kills its senior citizens?
6. AS THE TWIG IS BENT, SO GROWS THE TREE.
Proverbs 22:6 ESV Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
7. An eye witness account from New York City , on a cold day in December, some years ago: A little boy, about 10-years-old, was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold
A lady approached the young boy and said, 'My, but you're in such deep thought staring in that window!'
'I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,'was the boy's reply.
The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her.
She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with the towel.
By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes.
She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him.. She patted him on the head and said, 'No doubt, you will be more comfortable now'
As she turned to go, the astonished kid caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears in his eyes, asked her.
'Are you God's wife?'
8. We will try to hit on some vitally important principles.
9. Priority is obedience of Children and proper priority of children
10. We are being told that rebellion and disrespect are just a natural part of children so let them be.
11. Should children be left to grow up according to their nature? They have a sinful nature
12. Children have great insight from God
Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was:
A four-year-old child, whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman, who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy just said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry.'
I. The Principles
A. The Right Model
"Truth is more caught than taught"
‑‑Children need a right model in their parents
--What you allow in moderation, you children will do in excess
1. Love for God
a. Love for the Word—Reading
b. Love for church—attendance
c. Prayer must be a priority
Deuteronomy 6:4-6 ESV 4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
2. Love each other
a. Command of husband to love wife
b. Command of wife to love husband
c. "One of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love his wife and visa‑versa. As children see a good model in their parents, they also learn how to be good mates.
3. Submit to Authority
One of Satan's greatest lies was that submission to God would keep you from being happy.
a. To God‑‑Take this lightly and what will kids do?
b. Submission to each other
1) Husband sensitive to wife's needs
2) Wife who does not undercut husband
‑‑Leads to disrespect of children
c. Submission in the market place
1) Obey traffic laws
2) Honor the boss's requests
4. Be faithful and consistent in life‑style
a. Have we taught out kids mental toughness
‑‑staying with it when things get hard
‑‑Not giving up when pain and stress come
THE TEST OF YOUR CHARACTER IS WHAT IT TAKES TO STOP YOU. Bob Jones, Sr.
b. Faithfulness and spirituality are equated
1 Corinthians 4:2 ESV Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found trustworthy.
c. When you call in sick and your are not???? ‑ Teaching that lying is OK if it is convenient.
d. When you stay home from church when the Lions, I mean Vikings are playing or when kids are involved in sports, or …?????
Philippians 4:9 ESV 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
B. The Right Method
1. Age old struggle of methods (God's or man's)
Leviticus 18:3‑5. (3) You must not do as they do in Egypt, where you used to live, and you must not do as they do in the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you. Do not follow their practices. (4) You must obey my laws and be careful to follow my decrees. I am the Lord your God. (5) Keep my decrees and laws, for the man who obeys them will live by them. I am the Lord. NIV
2. Godly Correction or Politically Correct
3. God's standard has not changed
"Unless we understand God's standard for the family and begin to put it in operation in our homes, we will have nothing to pass on to the next generation." John MacArthur
"We are only one generation away from paganism" Homer Lindsay
Judges 2:10-15 ESV 10 And all that generation also were gathered to their fathers. And there arose another generation after them who did not know the Lord or the work that he had done for Israel. 11 And the people of Israel did what was evil in the sight of the Lord and served the Baals. 12 And they abandoned the Lord, the God of their fathers, who had brought them out of the land of Egypt. They went after other gods, from among the gods of the peoples who were around them, and bowed down to them. And they provoked the Lord to anger. 13 They abandoned the Lord and served the Baals and the Ashtaroth. 14 So the anger of the Lord was kindled against Israel, and he gave them over to plunderers, who plundered them. And he sold them into the hand of their surrounding enemies, so that they could no longer withstand their enemies. 15 Whenever they marched out, the hand of the Lord was against them for harm, as the Lord had warned, and as the Lord had sworn to them. And they were in terrible distress.
Our CHOICE:
"Follow the world's way and lose your children for God, or follow God's Way and Keep your children for eternity."
4. METHOD
a. Proverbs 29:15 ESV The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
"The sum of it all is in PRO 29:15. The rod (What you do) and reproof (What you say) give wisdom: but a child left {to himself} bringeth his mother to shame. Do you want to have shame on your hands? Do you want to have disaster on your hands? Just don't do anything, and that's what you'll have." ‑‑John MacArthur
1) Rod‑‑parents administering discipline
2) Reproof‑‑What a parent says in discipline
b. Ephesians 6:4 ESV Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
DISCIPLE FOR REBELLION, CORRECTION FOR BEING A CHILD
1) discipline (Nurture)‑‑What a parent does in child rearing
2) Instruction (Admonition)‑‑What a parent says in child rearing
c. Paul Meier‑‑
1) Love‑‑Love so they learn to love God
2) Discipline‑‑firm and consistent
3) Consistency‑‑same by both parents
II. The Process
A. The Command
Ephesians 6:1-4 ESV 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
‑‑Children‑‑any child still at home under parents authority
1. Children: Obey
a. Problem‑‑Children are born tyrants and rebels
b. Parents must never fool themselves
2. Parents: Train-bring up
--Takes time and consistency
--Time + Discipline accepted = Maturity
a. Both father and mother must be active in training
b. Failure to train effectively ‑‑Proverbs
1) Grief to his mother 10:1; 17:25
Proverbs 10:1 ESV The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.
Proverbs 17:25 ESV A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him.
2) A rebel to his father 15:5
Proverbs 15:5 ESV A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.
3) A sorrow to his father 17:21, 25
Proverbs 17:21 ESV He who sires a fool gets himself sorrow, and the father of a fool has no joy.
Proverbs 17:25 ESV A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him.
4) A disaster to his father 19:13
Proverbs 19:13 ESV A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.
5) A disgrace to his parents 19:26
Proverbs 19:26 ESV He who does violence to his father and chases away his mother is a son who brings shame and reproach.
6) A user of his parents 28:24
Proverbs 28:24 ESV Whoever robs his father or his mother and says, “That is no transgression,” is a companion to a man who destroys.
B. The Commitment
1. To Administer discipline
Proverbs 13:24 ESV Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Proverbs 19:18 ESV Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.
Proverbs 22:15 ESV Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13-14 ESV 13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. 14 If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.
Proverbs 29:15 ESV The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
Proverbs 29:17 ESV Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.
a. God has said to use the paddle
Rod or switch
"That doesn't work with my little Johnny. He responds better when you just talk to him."
"I love him too much to hurt him like that."
LIES FROM SATAN‑‑Who will you believe?
b. Proper use of discipline is essential
1) Never discipline when hot anger
2) Always explain clear reason for punishment.
3) Administer discipline in a manner appropriate for the offense. Purpose is to correct behavior, not damage child
4) Always assure child of parents love after the discipline.
5) Always use paddle or switch, not hand‑‑Bible says "rod"
2. Maintain Standards
a. Parent must set the standard in the home, not the child
‑‑Young child
‑‑Teen child‑‑still naive‑‑
b. Standards based on God's Word
Music‑‑Ephesians 5:19 ESV addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart,
Dress‑‑Tit 2:5
Dress modestly
Friends‑‑1Co 15:33; Pro 13:20
1 Corinthians 15:33 ESV Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
Proverbs 13:20 ESV Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Church attendance Heb 10:25
Hebrews 10:25 ESV not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
Dating 2Co 6:14‑17
2 Corinthians 6:14-17 ESV 14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 17 Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you,
Filling your mind‑‑Phil 4:8
Philippians 4:8 ESV Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
c. Standards must be specific
‑‑What is the rule and what happens when broken
d. Standards must be consistently enforced
e. Standards must not be altered to pacify the child
f. Standards must deal with attitudes that foster wrong action
Song of Solomon 2:15 ESV Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom.”
g. The standards must support the authorities outside the home
IF IT IS IMMORAL OR ILLEGAL, THE QUESTION IS MUTE.‑‑NO DISCUSSION
3. To love Unconditionally (The commitment)
a. Consider the child's strengths and encourage them
Jamie was trying out for a part in the school play. His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen.
On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and excitement. 'Guess what, Mom,' he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me.....'I've been chosen to clap and cheer'
b. Consider the Child's future
c. Consider the Child's failures
d. Consider the Child's usefulness
e. Consider the child's comments
"Listen to what they say."
C. The Caution
EPH 6:4. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath.
1. Overprotection
‑‑denial of the child's ability
2. Favoritism and comparing siblings
3. Withdrawn love
‑‑Love is not based on behavior
"Daddy doesn't love you when you do that"
4. Bitter words and cruel physical punishment
‑‑Child abuse is not to be tolerated
‑‑Battered
‑‑verbal outrage
PROCESS‑‑ Isaiah 28:10 ESV 10 For it is precept upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little, there a little.”
III. The Purpose
The purpose of training children is not for the good of the parents but for the good of the child.
It is much easier at times to allow a temper tantrum or give in than to administer the appropriate correction.
Such permissiveness does great harm to the child.
A. For Themselves
1. To develop Character—Demonstrated in
a. Spiritual Values—My God shall be your God
b. Moral Values—Respect for others
c. Marital Values—Respect for mate
‑‑Should see it in parents
2. For their own good
a. Ephesians 6:2-3 ESV “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
b. good life‑‑Well with thee
c. Long life‑‑Live long on the earth
3. To draw them to Christ
a. Is your faith genuine or phony?
‑‑My kids know if I am for real
‑‑My children know my inner desire
b. Concerning Abraham
Genesis 18:19 ESV 19 For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.”
B. For others
1. Asset to the community
2. Take care of things
‑‑Pick up paper,
‑‑Do not destroy other people's property
‑‑Leave things in better condition that you found them
3. Is your child a help or a hurt in the community?
C. For God
Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. NASB 95
1. In the Lord
a. Teach obedience to parent
b. Teach obedience to God
‑‑‑obedient to parent so they will obey God
Conclusion:
1. Teaching breakage of the sinful habits
2. Train the Child to follow God
3. You can never over saturate your Child
4. Saved, serving the Lord?