Putting a Fragmented Family Back Together
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Reminders...
Reminders...
As we get back into our series of messages on the family, I wanted to start by reminding you of several things:
Hope
Hope
I first want to remind all of us of what Biblical hope.
The world defines “hope” as...
The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.
or
A person or thing in which expectations are centered.
As the world understands it, “hope” is uncertain. Biblical hope, however, is certain!
Biblical hope is...
Biblical hope is the certain, earnest expectation of something good or favorable.
That “something good or favorable” can only be found in Jesus Christ!
O taste and see that the Lord is good: Blessed is the man that trusteth in him.
Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.
Our hope cannot be based upon anything or anyone else!
Next, I would like to remind you of the truth that...
Satan is the fisherman.
Satan is the fisherman.
We are the fish.
We are the fish.
Satan’s bait is his lies that he tells to cause us to doubt the truth of God’s Word.
Satan’s bait is his lies that he tells to cause us to doubt the truth of God’s Word.
The first “hook” that we have been looking at, that Satan uses to destroy families is that of...
Family Fragmentation
Family Fragmentation
Family Fragmentation: The accelerating tendency of families in the twenty-first century to spend increasingly less time together and more time involved in other pursuits and interests.
The current of culture seeks to pull families apart. And, this is important for us to understand, and be watchful for because God designed the members of a family to nurture one another. Satan will do everything that he can to keep that from happening!
Turn to and read Ephesians 6:1-4.
Which brings us to this morning’s message:
Putting a Fragmented Family Back Together
Putting a Fragmented Family Back Together
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.
We have all heard that nursery rhyme. But, I have a question. For the sake of illustration, just suppose that all the king’s horses and all the king’s men had been able to put Humpty back together again.
Would it have been better for Humpty to be put back together or for Humpty to have never fallen to begin with?
I believe that we all know the answer to that question; it would have been better for Humpty to have never fallen to begin with!
So, which is better: Putting a fragmented family back to gether or keeping a family from becoming fragmented to begin with?
Many of you here this morning have young children or possibly do not yet have children, therefore, my challenge to you is to do everything in your power to keep your family from becoming fragmented to begin with! That is the best option!
Over the next two weeks, I would like to share with you twelve practical principles to help you restore your family to God’s design or to keep your family from becoming fragmented to begin with.
(By the way, these principles are good for anyone desiring to live a life that is pleasing to the Lord; not just those who have a family and have children!)
Remember....
Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
And when I am dying, how happy I’ll be,
If the lamp of my life has been burned out for Thee
#1 - Seek God’s Direction through Prayer and Bible Study
#1 - Seek God’s Direction through Prayer and Bible Study
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.
Every family is different, and there is no static recipe for keeping a family together or bringing one back together. God will lead you individually to make the change He wants you to make. He may lead you to make some tough choices. He will never lead you to lower His priority in your life. In other words, God will not lead you to stop attending church so that you can spend more time together! With God’s leading, you must decide what stays on the schedule and what goes.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
#2 - Make Tough Choices about Good Things
#2 - Make Tough Choices about Good Things
In 2003, Aron Ralston was canyoneering in southeastern Utah when a bolder became dislodged and pinned his right wrist to the side of the canyon wall. After five days he was able to amputate his forearm with a dull pocketknife, make his way through the rest of the canyon, rappel down a 65 foot drop, and hike 7 miles to safety.
Aron had to make a touch choice: keep his hand and die or amputate it and live.
Our schedules are filled with “good things.” I don’t know the choices that you will have to make for yourself and your family, but be willing to make them. Be courageous enough to choose the best over the good.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
#3 - Make a Week-by-Week Assessment of Your Family Time
#3 - Make a Week-by-Week Assessment of Your Family Time
If you have a habit of defaulting into your week with no planning, no preparation, no forethought - you’re probably losing the battle. Who would fight a war this way? Isn’t this why fish are hooked so easily? Because they just swim around and bit stuff that looks good?
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
#4 - Be Willing to Schedule Extended Time with a Struggling Member of Your Family
#4 - Be Willing to Schedule Extended Time with a Struggling Member of Your Family
If you are dealing with a teenager or a child who is really struggling with spiritual issues, take some time off work, save some money, and get away together. Do something fun. Don’t feel like you have to go away to deal with problems, just go away and have fun!
Being together, having fun, making memories is dealing with the problem - in a deeper way than you can imagine.
Beyond this, pray that God will soften the spirit and open a window to the soul, when you as a parent can courageously yet compassionately confront and resolve real issues of the heart.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
#5 - Don’t Expect an Overnight Miracle
#5 - Don’t Expect an Overnight Miracle
There are no quick solutions or lasting results in “fast-food style” relationships. The kind of change that we’re talking about only comes from a prolonged pattern of consistency and faithfulness.
In like manner, if your children are young, and you have yet to experience “family fragmentation” begin to establish a pattern of consistent family time.
As one pastor said, “The kids don’t need a different theme park every five days, they need three hours every Friday afternoon for a year.”
#6 - Look for Teaching Moments
#6 - Look for Teaching Moments
And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
Nurturing isn’t forced. Even so, teaching moments that are forced usually feel awkward and are received resentfully. More than your lecture, your children need your heart. As you spend time together, in the ebb and flow of family life, teaching times will become self-evident. These are the times when a unique situation surfaces and the Holy Spirit prompts you to seize the moment to bring about spiritual insight. The more you look for them, the more they will show up. For this reason, the more you know the Word of God, the more ready you will be to give a biblical application at the right moment.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Closing: Considering these six principles, choose one that you could incorporate into your life this coming week to...
put your fragmented family back together
keep your family becoming fragmented to begin with
to establish a pattern of life that is well pleasing to the Lord