Comfort for those who suffer

Do not assume you know the reason for their suffering. (; 11:5-6)

Explanation: Chapter Four begins a series of dialogue between Job and his three friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar. There are three rounds of conversations contained within chapters 4 - 31. Each round consists of each of the friends stating his idea of why Job is suffering, which is then followed with Job’s response to that particular challenge.

With each successive cycle, the attacks on Job’s character and what they consider his hidden sin get more aggressive. But even at the beginning this is their starting point: Job cannot be innocent, otherwise he wouldn’t be suffering. Eliphaz is the first to challenge Job, and he does so by basically calling him a hypocrite. Eliphaz accuses Job of having a double standard - it was all good when you were the one telling others how to deal with problems, but now that it comes on you, your falling apart! And then, without an outright accusation, Eliphaz accuses Job of unconfessed sin by stating the principle of reaping and sowing.

Illustrate: Don’t automatically judge the situation when you don’t know the details. What do we automatically assume when we see someone riding a scooter?

Zophar is the last to speak, and by the time he gets to talk, he is fired up. He cuts to the chase and tells Job there is absolutely no way he is innocent, and that God is actually giving Job less than he deserves. (11:5-6)

Illustrate: Don’t automatically judge the situation when you don’t know the details. What do we automatically assume when we see someone riding a scooter?

The account of a mother with 4 young children on a crowded subway. The children were running wild and annoying the other passengers while the mother sat unmoving, just gazing into space with a listless look. One of the passengers finally approached the mother and complained about the children’s behavior. The mother apologized and said she was overwhelmed due to the recent tragic death of her husband, and stated the kids were also out of sorts about losing their father. That piece of information changed each of the passenger’s attitude towards the kids, and they began to engage them in a show of support.

Argument: It is impossible for us to completely know the full extent of another’s life situation. We may have some knowledge of events leading to another’s suffering, and we may even be aware of some mistakes that have been made. There is a time for rebuke, but it should be done gently, with love, with humility, and in the correct time.

Application: Generally speaking, we should avoid the rush to judgment, realizing we also are fallible humans with limited knowledge. In the book of James, believers are instructed to be “quick to listen and slow to speak” (), and Jesus warns us about the attitude we bring to judging others ().

Do not misrepresent God.

Do not misrepresent God.

Explanation: The three comforters had good intentions. They were aware of Job’s great losses, and they didn’t just hear about it and say something like, “well, that is really bad for Job. What a terrible situation. I certainly hope he makes it through his rough patch.” They didn’t ignore their friend’s struggles; they joined him, and they wanted to help. Their problem is that in their zeal to get Job to “confess his sins so God would heal him,” they ended up misrepresenting God. They spoke for God with absolute confidence and passion, but on many occasions, they were simply wrong.

Eliphaz declared that the “wicked man writhes in pain all his days” (15:20) because he “stretched out his hand against God” (15:25). Zophar stated that the “exulting of the wicked is short, and the joy of the godless is but for a moment” (20:5). [There is some truth declared by the friends, but not always in accordance with God’s full revelation]

Illustrate: We may not use these specific statements, but we are prone to express our attempts to comfort others in different but still unbiblical ways. “God just needed another angel for His garden in Heaven” This may be said with good intentions, but it is not biblical, and it misrepresents God. When believers die, they do not become angels! Also, God doesn’t need us in heaven. He desires that we be with Him, and has prepared it for us, but God is not dependent upon us for fulfillment.

Another one our approaches which doesn’t help is to express something along the lines of, “I know just how you feel.” This expression is almost always untrue! We do not know just how another person is feeling. Even if we have suffered a similar type of loss, no situation is exactly like another. This comment isn’t a direct misrepresentation of God, but it is not helpful. Believers are told that we are able to comfort others because we have received the comfort of God (), but this verse doesn’t give allowance for the above expression.

Argument: When we are providing comfort to those who are suffering, we need to be cautious in how we represent God. The friends received rebuke by Job on several occasions (12:5 and 16:4), but, more importantly, they were rebuked by God Himself ()

This was Zophar’s problem in 20:4-5

Application: I would hope that each of us would have the desire to avoid a rebuke by God Himself concerning our efforts to help a fellow sufferer. Since the friends show us what not to do, what are we expected and able to do?

Practice the Ministry of Presence

Explanation: The high water mark of the 3 friends is found in chapter 2, before they begin their dialogue with Job. When they first arrived, they simply sat with Job in silence for seven days. They fact that they were present in his pain was an enormous comfort. Job knew that they had traveled from a distance to be with him. They cared enough to sacrifice their time and underwent the cost of the journey probably made an impact on Job.

They empathized with him and they grieved with him. As far as humanly possible, they attempted to share his pain. They did what we are told to do: “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15)

Illustrate: Spending time with Dan Henderson, one of our fellow church members at Oakbrook. He was going through a divorce, and I went and visited him one evening in December. Dan was putting up his tree, and I only remember that I was there. I had nothing significant to say, but for years after that, Dan would tell me how much that visit meant and how much it helped in his healing.

Argument: Job’s three comforters took the support and encouragement experience down hill in a hurry when they started giving out “comfort” and “advice.” They would have been better off to just keep quiet. Job actually called them “worthless physicians” and told them that if they “would keep silent . . . it would be [their] wisdom” ().

As humans, we often feel the need to say something in these situations. We feel that it is somehow on us to make things better. In many situations, however, we just need to be present. And while we are present, we will discover helpful and practical things we can do. We can wash dishes, mow grass, provide meals, run errands, etc. Life doesn’t stop just because some one we love gets sick or dies. Things still have to be done, and being there to help out will be appreciated

While you are with them, do practical things that need to be done. Mow the grass, watch the kids, wash the dishes, provide meals

Point them to Jesus, the Ultimate Comforter

Explanation: Neither Job nor his friends had personal knowledge of the Savior. They lived early in the OT period, and the revelation of the Messiah had not yet been developed through God’s revelation. As believers on this side of the Cross, we are blessed with not only the full Revelation of God in the NT, but we also have the Personal Presence of the Holy Spirit. Believers can minister most effectively by pointing one who is suffering to the Person of Jesus

It is never wrong or inappropriate to tell one who is suffering about the Only One who truly does understand. Jesus was fully God, but He was also fully man as He traveled this vail of tears. Scripture reminds us that Jesus is able to sympathize with our weaknesses , because He has personally dealt with problems like we have, but He remained sinless (). Because He suffered, yet remained sinless He is able to grant mercy and grace to those in need ()

Jesus is the One who tells us the truth about living in a fallen world. He tells us that life in this world is not easy and we will experience disappointment and heartache and pain. He also tells us that in Him we may have peace ()

Jesus is the One who offers the invitation to those who labor in this life and are burdened by pain and suffering; He invites us to come and find rest in Him ()

And, for the believer, the Ultimate Comfort will be provided by God Himself in the Eternal Kingdom

May be better to use as a final and eternal comfort to those who have suffered in this life

Revelation 21:4 ESV

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”