Sermon Tone Analysis

Intro -

conflict is around us,

there is a biblical mandate to make every effort...

But it’s a struggle.

Not every instance is exactly the same.

Circumstances, people, place, time.

Degrees of seriousness.

Me (How do I struggle with this?)

We (How do we all struggle with this?)

God (What does the Bible say about this?)

We (How can we all live this out together?)

Biblical Ways to Deal With Conflict

Make every effort to maintain peace.

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Surrender to Christ.

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Four G’s of peacemaking

Glorify God ()

Get the Log Out of Your Eye ()

Gently Restore ()

Go and Be Reconciled ()

Make every effort to maintain peace

Surrender to Jesus

Four G’s

Glorify God

Get the Log Out

Gently Restore

Go and Be Reconciled

Go and Be Reconciled

Instead of accepting premature compromise or allowing relationships to wither, we will actively pursue genuine peace and reconciliation—forgiving others as God, for Christ’s sake, has forgiven us, and seeking just and mutually beneficial solutions to our differences.

Go and be reconciled

Instead of accepting premature compromise or allowing relationships to wither, we will actively pursue genuine peace and reconciliation—forgiving others as God, for Christ’s sake, has forgiven us, and seeking just and mutually beneficial solutions to our differences.

From the chapter on forgiveness and reconciliation

Cost of avoiding

New research has revealed that employees waste an average of $1,500 and an 8-hour workday for every crucial conversation they avoid.

These costs skyrocket when multiplied by the prevalence of conflict avoidance.

According to the study conducted by the authors of the New York Times bestselling book Crucial Conversations, 95 percent of a company's workforce struggles to speak up to their colleagues about their concerns.

As a result, they engage in resource-sapping avoidance tactics including ruminating excessively about crucial issues, complaining, getting angry, doing unnecessary work and avoiding the other person altogether.

In extreme cases of avoidance, the organization's bottom line is hit especially hard.

The study of more than 600 people found that eight percent of employees estimate their avoidance costs their organization more than $10,000.

And one in 20 estimate that over the course of a drawn-out silent conflict, they waste time ruminating about the problem for more than six months.

Joseph Grenny, author of Crucial Conversations, says it's time organizations stop viewing interpersonal competencies as soft skills and start teaching their people how to speak up and deal directly with conflicts rather than avoiding them.

Five Principle Steps of Reconciliation from

Use those who are part of the solution

1.Overlook Minor Offenses 2.Talk in Private 3.Take One or Two Others Along 4.Tell It to the Church (Church Accountability) 5.Treat as a Nonbeliever

Overlook Minor Offenses

Talk in Private

Take One or Two Others Along

Tell It to the Church (Church Accountability)

Treat as a Nonbeliever

give us a framework, coupled with the rest of scripture, and practical application, leads to the peacemaking responses.

Disclaimer

Seek help and guidance

Facing someone who has offended or abused you takes time and we must be aware of this.

Gender, roles

Time and place - sometimes wait until things have cooled off.

Abuse, emotional trauma, post traumatic stress disorder

Sometimes we seek help and bring someone along from the start.

HR department at work helps us with this.

Parent, pastor, teacher, mediator, can help.

Crucial Elements When Seeking Help

Keep the circle of people involved in a conflict as small as possible for as long as possible.

Keep the circle of people involved in a conflict as small as possible for as long as possible.Make every effort not to give them unnecessary details about the conflict.Only when you and the other person are both present should you give a detailed explanation of your perceptions.

Use those who are part of the solution

Make every effort not to give them unnecessary details about the conflict.

Only when you and the other person are both present should you give a detailed explanation of your perceptions.

Keep small for as long as possible

Regardless of how you enlist the help of reconcilers in achieving your opponent’s participation, make every effort not to give them unnecessary details about the conflict.

Simply explain that you and the other person are at odds and need their help.

If you go into detail with the reconcilers, the other party might naturally conclude that they have already been biased in your favor.

Even worse, doing so may encourage you to slander or gossip.

Only when you and the other person are both present should you give a detailed explanation of your perceptions.

Rather than humbly seeking help at the first signs of conflict, many people either run away and avoid the conflict entirely or hunker down in isolated camps and lob relational bombs from behind walls of self-protection (the escape and attack responses on the Slippery Slope—

If you have wronged someone else, God calls you to go to the other person to seek forgiveness (see chapters 5 and 6).

If another person has committed a wrong that is too serious to overlook, it is your responsibility to go the other person and show him his fault,

This is also common courtesy, and as Paul says, making every effort to maintain peace.

Make inquire of the person or persons directly, to communicate clearly.

and keep the peace

Peacemaking Responses

Personal steps

Overlook -

Reconcile - ;

Negotiation -

Assisted steps

Negotiation

Mediation -

Arbitration -

Accountability -

Examples of Conflict

Paul and John Mark ()

Caring for Greek speaking widows ()

Paul and John Mark...

Peacemaking responses slide

Paul wasn’t healed enough, sure enough to reconcile with John Mark.

Barnabas was more sure and had reconciled things with John Mark apparently.

Paul wouldn’t have any of it.

Evidently the principles and rules he had didn’t have room for John Mark.

The result was a division.

Two groups with the same goal, the same journey, to foster experiences with Jesus, spreading the gospel.

It was a solution to the problem that not all things were reconciled at that time between them.

Though there was division on the parameters rules and guidelines of the missionary journeys and who qualified to take part, they were clear that the work and purpose was of utmost importance.

Later on, eventually things got worked out and Paul and John Mark