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Do You Read Me? ...
Over
James 1:19-1:19
April 17, 2005
Sermon
INTRODUCTION
This is the second message in the series entitled, “Family: An Endangered Species?”
Last week I shared six common characteristics strong families share.
Dr.
Nick Stinnett,
The family members:
(1) Are committed to the family;
(2) Spend time together;
(3) Have good family communication;
(4) Express appreciation to each other;
(5) Have a spiritual commitment; and
(6) Are able to solve problems in a crisis.
(Nick Stinnett, Family Building: Six Qualities of a Strong Family, p. 38)
One of them was the ability to communicate well as a family.
Whether you are a single parent, a retired couple, or a blended family with a household of kids, you do communicate with some family members.
The question I want you ask is: How well does my family communicate with each other?
And as part of today’s message I want to give a testimony of myself.
You see as I study and read in preparing for my messages I find myself struggling with God about the truths which He reveals to me as I read His word.
This week it was a little more of a struggle than I could remember.
You see my whole desire in life is to please God to do His will.
And at this point in my life He God has directed me to communicate His word to others.
I mean this is my job but more than that it is my passion.
I can’t think of anything else I would want to do at this point in my life.
But a great part of communicating God’s word to others is my living and modeling God’s word in my life.
And I work hard at living the life I believe God wants all to live.
The life which I try to communicate to you each week as I see it in the word of God.
But you see God wants us to live a Godly life not only in public, but with our families and when we are alone.
It has been said that the true character of a man is seen when he is alone and no one is watching and he knows no one is watching.
Just this week alone it seemed that God orchestrated a series of events that put my communication skills to the test.
Having breakfast with Sandra I’m standing by the kitchen sink thinking of all the things I had to do for the week.
I am standing there with all the thoughts going through my mind.
The mornings are one of the few times we have together once our week gets going it takes an effort to slow down and catch up with each other.
And this week in particular I was going was going to be a though week I was attending a conference the last two days of the week.
Sandra was talking to me about something but I was to concerned with what I was thinking abut I was starting my week right now I was already working.
I could not tell you what she said.
Then later that week a close friend called early one morning.
They had had a rough morning with their spouse.
And they just wanted to let off some steam before they got into work.
They wanted to be a Pastor to them imagine that listen hear them out maybe pray for them.
Oh I was going to be a pastor alright --- I didn’t even wait for them to finish before I had the answers all their problems.
After those incidents I sat down and began my work writing my sermon for this coming Sunday.
So I take out my bible and I turn to James 1:19 Turn there with me now or read along in you handout.
!!! James 1:19 (New International Version)
19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
*/ /*
*/19/**/Mis queridos hermanos, tengan presente esto: Todos deben estar listos para escuchar, y ser lentos para hablar y para enojarse;/*
The book of James has some great wisdom to improve your family communication.
There are three laws of personal communication in this verse.
These three rules of personal communication apply to communication between husbands and wives and between parents and children.
If you don’t qualify in those categories, pay attention, because these laws rule at work as well as in your friendships.
These three laws of personal communication are extremely important.
If you violate these three rules, you will suffer in many ways.
But if you follow these three simple rules, you will be effective in communicating to your family members or to your co-workers.
The first one is:
I.
I.
LISTEN INTENTLY ESCUCHA ATENTAMENTE
1.
When the Bible says, “quick to listen” it means you must pay close attention when someone is speaking to you.
Just because you are listening to words doesn’t mean you really hear what is being said.
2.
Think how many times you have sat watching T.V. and you a member of your family can have a lot to say but didn’t hear a word of what they said.
3.
The sound waves of the words are reaching your ears, but you aren’t paying attention.
You aren’t really hearing or understanding what is being said.
We can see the same thing in family communication.
4.
In the bible very often we hear Jesus many times use the term
Mark 4:23
“If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.”
*/Marcos/**/ 4:23 /*
*/23/**/El que tenga oídos para oír, que oiga./**/
/*
5.
The Message paraphrases it: “Are you listening to this? REALLY listening?”
The reason Jesus said that was because He knew not only do we have the ability to tune someone out; we have a tendency to do it.
Good listening is basically a matter of concentration.
The more important you consider the message, the more you will concentrate on it.
I’ve been with families when a surgeon entered the waiting room after surgery.
Family members are listening fast–they are concentrating on what the doctor has to say.
Conversely, we tend to be lazy listeners when we consider a message to be unimportant.
The title of this message is “Do you read me? ... over” It comes from what I have read and seen about communication between Airplane Pilots and control towers.
10.
Good radio communication is an absolute necessity.
In fact, it’s the law.
Even if you talk on a CB or other two-way radio, sometimes you have to say, “Do you read me? ... over” and you wait for a response.
I believe we need to apply that principle to family communication as well.
I think husbands and wives need to stop sometimes in the middle of a conversation and say, “Do you read me? ... over” Parents and kids ought to stop sometime and say, “Do you read me? ... over.”
There are six specific steps that occur in a communication loop.
In every good experience where two people are communicating, these six things happen almost instantaneously.
If the loop is broken or incomplete at any step, communication breaks down:
(1) Speak
(1) Habla
(1) Speak.
A person says something to someone else.
(2) Listen
(2) Escucha
(2) Listen.
The one to whom the speaker projects the message has those auditory waves enter his ears.
But that doesn’t mean they’ve gotten the message, they may be ignoring the speaker, or tuned in to something else.
(3) Hear and respond
(3) Oye y responde
(3) Hear and respond.
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