The Christian's New Clothes (Pt. 3)

Today we are going to start by playing a game.

*(Play “Which one of these is not like the other. 1) Pine cone- now we understand the game. 2)Dog Wall- someone needs to tell Snoop that he is not an actual dog. 3) Multiple Choice- This one is for me. 4)Hairy Ape- This one is for Mike. 5)Seal Pic)

As we’ve been working through Ephesians. We are in a section that speaks to the crucial union between our identity in Christ and our behavior. What Paul has shown us is that if your behavior doesn’t match up in Christ, it will be easily seen.

As Christians we are creating a new society in Christ that is suppose to be fundamentally different than the world. It starts with our identity in Christ. Repenting of sin and trusting Christ as Savior comes as a result of the inward working of Christ on your heart. Trusting Christ means you literally become someone new. That is why Jesus described the Christ follower as one who is literally born again. They have a completely different identity. They are born now a child of God.

Some people think that Christians are simply people who behave differently. And Christians should begin to behave differently than who they were without Christ. But, that doesn’t come first. Who we are in Christ (our identity) and what we believe about Christ (our theology) is what affects our behavior like Christ.

So, on the basis of who we are and what we believe, Paul calls the Christian to put on new behaviors, behaviors that match their identity in Christ. He uses the terminology that bring up the act of taking clothes off and putting new clothes on. This time, clothes that match.

Ephesians 4:1 ESV

1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called,

“Walking” is often a metaphor for living in the Bible. You can live as a Christian in a manner that is not worthy of the Christ who saved you. So like clothes we need to take off old behaviors and put on new ones.

Ephesians 4:22 ESV

22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires,

We need to change them to what as Paul says in v. Paul lists six aspects of our behaviors that we need to change if we are to follow Christ with behaviors that match our identity in him. To what Paul says is, “proper among saints.” ()

Ephesians 5:3 ESV

3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.

Don’t be confused. That word “saints” is some venerated people that the Roman Catholic church highlights. And it’s not even the people that we highly respect in our church. The saints could be translated, “the holy ones.” God’s people who are declared in Christ to be holy. So, if you are a follower of Christ, that’s you. Our love for Christ should produce change in our behavior.

Over the past few weeks we have looked at 4 of these changes that we should take action.

1. Change the way we use our integrity. (v. 25)

2. Change the way we use our temper. (v.26)

3. Change the way we use our hands. (v.28)

4. Change the way we use our mouths. (v.29)

Today we are going to look at the 5th and 6th aspect of our behavior we need to change we start following Christ.

5. Change the way we use our hearts. (4:31-32; 5:1-2)

Ephesians 4:31–32 ESV

31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Now you would think that emotions like bitterness, wrath, and anger would no longer be naturally be a part of a believer’s character. Unbelievers believe that about believers. When they see Christians acting out of bitterness, wrath, and anger, they call them hypocrites. But there is nothing natural about overcoming sin. If it was automatic, Paul wouldn’t have to tell us to be intentional about removing it out of our lives.

+Sanctification never happens on accident. It always comes after intentional aggressive actions toward pleasing God.

One of the most important ways that we please God is in the way that we treat other people. Paul gives six sinful attitudes toward others that never again need to cloth the heart of the believer. Let’s look at these 6 quickly.

A. Bitterness

*Have you ever bit into a raw persimmon? At the golf course that my dad and I grew up playing at there was persimmon tree on hole #4. As a 9 year old, my dad picked a persimmon from that tree and handed it to me asking me to take a bite and try it. The only fruit that I had ever had were fruits like apples and strawberry and peaches. It not taste like any of those. It was so bitter that my face almost turned completely inside out. Bitterness is the opposite of sweetness. Here we should also think of it as the opposite of kindness.

Paul uses the same word in , calling them not to be harsh with their wives.

Colossians 3:19 ESV

19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Why is it that we can come off harsh, especially with the people that we love. Life is hard and it sometimes sends us down some aweful paths sometimes. As we get older it is easy to let those difficult moments and raw deals that didn’t go our way cause us to become resentful and bitter on the inside. So much so that when people engage with us they don’t taste the sweet savor of Christ. But, they our repelled by bitterness.

+Let me talk to the Senior Adults here for a moment. Paul is saying, don’t let life make you a bitter old man or a bitter old woman. Yes some of you have faced a lifetime of hardships, but they can make you bitter or they can make you better. There is nothing that seasons the atmosphere of a church than Senior adults who have allowed the trials to make them love Christ more. There is little that hurts the sweetness of the Spirit than bitter old believers.

B. Wrath and Anger

I’m going to list these together because they are similar. “Wrath” should be understood as an uncontrolled, passionate rage and “anger"might be understand as a simmering hostility. Both of these are attitudes that desire ill will or harm to another person.

C. Clamor

Clamor describes people who get excited and raise their voices in an argument. A disagreement escalates to screaming to be heard and overcome the other person. We can have disagreements. Let’s learn to do it with kind and respectful hearts. You know you have crossed over into clamor when you are in a fight with someone and you forgot what you are even fighting about, but you just know that you have to win. Clamor doesn’t belong in the heart of a believer.

D. Slander

Slander is when people go behind other people backs spreading rumors, lies, or even truths for the goal of destroying their reputation. I think slander is rampant is just about every organization there is. Mostly because all have sinned and all have tongues. So I bet that most people are guilty of slander in some form. Using your tongue to undermine someone so that you can feel better about yourself or get what you want. And, I bet most people are the victims of it as well. I know preachers are. In the SBC, preachers have a shelf life in a church of about 3.6 years according to Lifeway study. Guess how the campaign to start to remove a pastor usually starts? Slander. Maybe the pastor needs to go in a lot of situations. But, what do you think slander does to the effectiveness of the gospel in those churches?

E. Malice

Malice is any form of ill will or ill intent. None of these belong clothing the heart of a believer.

So what should cloth the heart of a believer?

Kindness

Ephesians 4:32 ESV

32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

What a simple command: Be kind. It would not have been lost on them that the word “kind” (χρηστός), sounds a whole lot like “Christ” Χριστός. So that when we feel justified at feeling anger or bitterness toward someone who did us wrong, we should be reminded that Christ was kind to people who did him wrong. Which is why Paul adds, “tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ.” (). Then followed it in 5:1 with, “Therefore be imitators of God...” ()

Ephesians 5:1 ESV

1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.

Those are big shoes to fill. What did God do? In Christ he took on an attitude and lifestyle of complete selflessness. Which is the kind of love that Paul is calling us to love others with.

Ephesians 5:2 ESV

2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

He gave himself completely to the point of death, to pay our sin debt. That is what is meant by fragrant offering which is a sacrifice to God. And by doing so, he gave us a perfect example to follow. If we have bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, or malice toward another, we can know for sure that self has taken over. Love is living with selfless service of Christ. We are to imitate him.

What do these two patterns of kindness teach us about being kind to each other? Let's take them one at a time. What does the pattern of God's forgiveness teach us about our own? Four things come to mind:

God's forgiveness takes sin seriously and so should ours. Forgiveness is not flippancy toward sin. It sees it and names it—and then covers it. God forgives what he hates. When I called a man recently to apologize for something I had said and seek his forgiveness, he didn't say, "It makes no difference." Or: "I didn't hear it." He said earnestly and warmly, "Forgiven, and forgotten." And I got the deep impression he really meant it.God's forgiveness reckons with a real settling of accounts and so should ours. Every sin that has ever been committed will be justly punished—either in hell or on the cross. God never sweeps one little lie under the rug. Someone always pays. So when kindness calls us to forgive a wrong that has been done against us, we are sustained by the truth of God's holiness. That wrong is going to be dealt with: either the person who committed it against us will trust Christ in the end, in which case the wrong they committed is punished in the wrath that was poured on Christ when the Lord laid on him the iniquity of us all (); or the person who committed the wrong against us is not going to trust Christ in the end, in which case the wrong that they committed will be punished in the sufferings of hell. And in neither case should we fear to forgive as though there were no settling of accounts in the universe.God's forgiveness was costly and so is ours. It cost God his Son. And it will cost us the sweet taste of revenge and the pleasure of savoring a grudge and the pride of superiority. God's forgiveness is real and ours should be too. There is no sham in it. When he forgives, we are really restored. Nothing is held over our heads for later blackmail. It is gone: "As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us" (). And so we fall short of our divine pattern if we forgive a wrong but secretly plan to keep it in the back of our minds for a later touché. When we forgive, let us really forgive one another, as God in Christ forgave us.

6. Change the way we view sexuality. (5:3-4)

Ephesians 5:3–4 ESV

3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. 4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.

If I could be perfectly honest, I’m uncomfortable talking about this to you. But it is in the text and I’m preaching Ephesians, so here it goes.

Sex ought to be cherished by believers, practiced by believers, and seen as a reason for worship by believers more than it is.

The world doesn’t cherish sexuality. It distorts it into all kinds of shapes and forms that it doesn’t belong. The obvious is the LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer or questioning). I actually think that we have more letters than that now. We can look at the world and see the sexual distortion. But, this shouldn’t surprise us.

All people have a corrupt fallen sin nature. It’s no surprise that sin has corrupted sexuality in our world. And if you are here today and you are struggling in this area, I am not saying that God hates you for being gay. Everybody in this room struggles with our own sin, lying, lustfulness, gossip, etc. And the hope that all of us have no matter what our sin is that God sent Christ to die to pay the penalty for that sin. So now the hope for a gay person, is the same hope as a drunk, or anyone else. Repentance of sin and faith in Christ. He forgives us of sin and empowers us by the Holy Spirit to live lives overcoming it.

But what I want you to know that this is not a call for the world to live sexually pure. It’s a call for the church to live sexually pure.

Ephesians 5:3 ESV

3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.

Ok. I suppose you could make the argument that those churches that doesn’t see homosexuality as sin are out of line. You would be correct. But, we are not one of those churches. But I can promise you that we are a group of people who struggle deeply with sexual sin. Because virtually every man in America has in the past or does currently. Statistics tell us that 54% of born-again Christian men view porn at least once a month. We’ve gotten to a point where living together or fornication is viewed as an acceptable option for young Christian couples. Many have children before they decide to get married. Adultery is a common place problem in churches.

My point is that sex has not only been corrupted in the world, but it has been corrupted in the church. Paul says that it must not even be named among us as that is proper among saints. And the word “saints” there doesn’t mean the venerated Catholic saints or even the really great Christians that you know. “Saints” means all of those who claim to follow Jesus.

He goes on to say that sex should be treated with respect and dignity even in how we talk about it.

Ephesians 5:4 ESV

4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.

I grew up playing golf with a lot of men that went to the church that I attended. At church, they would wear suits and ties and pray King James prayers, but out on the golf course it was nothing for them to tell dirty jokes and talk about their wives and girl friends in digrating ways. This is out of place.

But I love the way Paul ends this, “but instead let there be thanksgiving.” (v.4)

Sex shouldn’t be distorted or abused or digrated with our talk. But it also shouldn’t be ignored either. Which is what we have a tendency to do. Instead, let us be thankful for the gift of sex as believers. To which I say, AMEN! There’s something to be thankful about. How can we be thankful?

You are here because of sex. It’s what brought you here.

It’s what gave us the children that we love. I use to have a friend that use to say, “I didn’t have kids. I had sex. The kids just came.” That is how God designed it isn’t it.

Sex is suppose to be a means for oneness and emotional intimacy through sexual intimacy.

English Standard Version Chapter 2

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

A physical oneness is created to show a spiritual oneness that is created through marriage.

4. Sex displays the theological oneness seen in the unity that exists between Christ and the church according to .

A oneness that reflects the unity that exists between Christ and the church.

Sex is a reason to worship the God who gave it to us as a good gift. Thus we should treat it as a good gift and nothing less.

But, this is not a call for us