Subjection Unto Salvation

1 Peter 3:1–7 ESV

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Peter here writes a powerful paragraph to believing ladies. In particular to ladies in the early church. However, this text is as relevant to our ladies and us as husbands today as it was then.

As I prayed through and pondered on this text yesterday morning, my own mother came to mind. For my entire childhood she was the only godly influence in our home. She was raised in the Baptist church and then when her and my Dad got married became a member of the Methodist church where my Dad and his family were members. However, my mom lived out her faith where as my Dad did not. Early in my childhood my dad and his buddies drank heavily, and engaged in other sinful behaviors, while my mom sought to raise my brother and I in the fear and admonition of the Lord. She submitted to my Dad graciously while at the same time calling out sin and rebuking when she thought necessary. She was not perfect by any means but when I think about a wive living in subjection to her own husband and eventually being used to lead him to salvation she was it!

Here is the good news of the story. Up until Vickie and I got married I would consider all of us lost. Then eventually Vickie said I cannot go to this Methodist church any longer and we began going to the Baptist church down the road. This is where my Dad ended up hearing the true gospel and being saved. Actually, my mom got re-baptized because she believed she had been baptized on the wrong side of conversion. But in one day, My Mom, My Dad, and My wife were all baptized and I was the one hold out thinking what is going on? But is wasn’t long before I could no longer deny the truth of the gospel and I repented and believed as well!

But do yo see how the godliness, quiet spirit of one wife and mother lead to the salvation of her family? This is what Peter is talking about. These ladies were being saved, so they were coming into the church unequally yoked and Peter says, “Wives, be subject to your own husbands.”

Why would Peter say this? Why would Peter call believing women to submit to unbelieving husbands?

First and foremost,

I. Submission Leads to Salvation

Pastor David is helpful in reminding us that this text is more difficult in some marriage relationships than others. We all know that their are wives who are battling to be faithful to Christ while at the same time be faithful to their unbelieving husbands. Now depending on the level of which their husbands are antagonistic towards the gospel will dictate the difficulty in which wives will struggle obeying this text. Some unbelieving husbands my have not problem with their wives faith because it frees them up to do what they want, they may think, “you go to church I will go to the woods....” In the other extreme their may be husbands that hate that their wife loves the Lord and His church and they verbally, and physically abuse their wives which will obviously create difficulty in maintaining faithfulness to the marriage covenant and the call to subjection...

Now, before we dive into the goal of submission, lets first consider the way of submission. In other words, how are wives supposed to submit to their husbands? Wives are to,

A. Submit like Citizens and Slaves (3:1)

3:1a Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands,

Likewise, (in a similar way)

2:13 Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution

2:18 Servants, be subject to your masters,

3:1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands,

Peter has laid out a pattern of submission for the believer and at the beginning of verse 3 turns from all of us, to ladies specifically.

With “be subject” being the imperative here let’s make sure we understand the meaning.

Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament based on Semantic Domains 36.18 ὑποτάσσομαι; ὑποταγή, ῆς; ὑπείκω

36.18 ὑποτάσσομαι; ὑποταγή, ῆς f; ὑπείκω: to submit to the orders or directives of someone—‘to obey, to submit to, obedience, submission.

Peter is commanding wives here to submit to the orders or directives of “their own husbands.” He is calling wives to obey and or submit to “their own husbands,” Now we all know and have learned over the years that this does not mean husbands are to be some militaristic, authoritarian drill sergeant over their wife. And we will get to us men in verse 7.

Wayne Grudem states, Be submissive to your husbands means willingly to submit to your husband’s authority or leadership in the marriage. Grudem, W. A. (1988). 1 Peter: an introduction and commentary (Vol. 17, p. 143). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

Grudem, W. A. (1988). 1 Peter: an introduction and commentary (Vol. 17, p. 143). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

Grudem, W. A. (1988). 1 Peter: an introduction and commentary (Vol. 17, p. 143). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

What Peter is saying here is that women are to loving follow, place themselves under the headship and leadership that God has given husbands to lead, guide, and protect their wives.

English Standard Version Chapter 2

18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19 Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh;

she shall be called Woman,

because she was taken out of Man.”

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Then we know what happened. Adam and Eve disbelieved and disobeyed God, and the result for the women was and is still today,

English Standard Version Chapter 3

16 To the woman he said,

“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;

in pain you shall bring forth children.

Your desire shall be contrary to your husband,

but he shall rule over you.”

Now this is not the only place the Scriptures address how the family is to live, relate and respect one another.

Ephesians 5:22 ESV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:24 ESV

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Colossians 3:18 ESV

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Titus 2:5 ESV

to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Titus

1 Peter 3:1 ESV

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,

Paul gave these instructions to the church at Ephesus, Colossae, and to Titus who was Shepherding the Church in Crete, to “set things in order. This is one of the most consistent teachings of the NT.

Why then does this doctrine cause so much division?

In light of the creation order, the fall, the New Testament consistency and Peter’s imperative how then are wives to be subject to their husbands?

I want us to consider for a moment how ladies are to be subject in the same way to husbands as we are to the government and to masters. As I have been meditating on the text this week, I just kept thinking I don’t want my wife submitting to me the same way I submit to the laws of the land or to my employer. Another way to consider Peter’s exhortation is to understand he is calling wives to submit in a similar way, but not in every way the same as these other two relationships.

1. Submit as Citizens

First, I submit to the laws of the land, because I don’t want to end up in jail. I don’t want to pay a speeding ticket or any other fine. But is that the way wives are supposed to submit to husbands? Because of the law? No, we want our wives to submit to their husbands because of their love, not legal obedience. But if you remember Peter did not tell us to submit to the law for the purpose of avoiding punishment, but for the purpose of silencing the foolish.

1 Peter 2:15 ESV

For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people.

1 Peter

We are subject to the government because we want the foolish to be pointed to Christ because of our obedience. We absolutely want to avoid punishment from those who bear the sword, but as believers we want to obey in order to be faithful witnesses so that the lost cannot speak evil of us, so that the lost will see a difference in us, not just because we are afraid of the consequences of disobedience, but we want to see sinners recieved the same deliverance from condemnation we have received. Now then, how are wives to submit in the same way as obedience to government authorities. As we review these instructions Peter lays out for us, I want you to help me expound and apply these principles to marriage and the way wives can be subject in this way,

1. Live as people who are free.

2. By not using their freedom as a cover up for evil.

3. Living as servants of God.

4. Honor everyone.

5. Love the brotherhood.

6. Fear God.

7. Honor the emperor.

Do you see the way in which wives are to be subject as Christian citizens? Notice next how wives are to,

2. Submit as Slaves

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands,

Not as slaves in the sense of you are fearful for being beaten by your master.

Not as slaves in the sense that you are owned by your husband.

Not as slaves in the sense that you have no rights under your husbands authority.

But as slaves,

With all respect

Who are mindful of God

Who recognize the way God views faithful submission.

Who imitate Christ’s subjection.

Christ committed no sin, so we should submit without sinning

Christ was completely free from deceit, so wives should be submit honestly

Christ did not revile when he was reviled against, so wives should not retaliate when husbands sinfully react.

Christ did not threaten when we suffered unjustly, in the same way wives should not threaten even if we has husbands sin against you.

Hear me well, this does not mean,

Wives are not to expected to be subject to physical abuse....

Wives are not to expected to receive sinful treatment and never open their mouths.

Wives are not called to submit to all men, but “to your own husbands.”

Tom Schreiner, explains, “husbands do not have the responsibility to ensure that wives submit to them.” What he is saying is that this subjection and submissiveness is to be voluntary. In other words, as a believing, born again wife you should have a desire to be submissive to serve, and care for your husband. He should not have to keep a list or bring to your mind every time you are refusing to follow his lead.

This is where it is different than a government authority and citizen subjection. They have officers of the law to ensure obedience, wives have a new heart and the Word to lead them to obedience.

In the workplace we go behind employees and check their work to ensure subjection, wives should desire faithful obedience not only to please their husband, but to please the Lord.

Now we have considered how wives are to be subject to their own husbands, notice why Peter command wives to be subject.

B. Submit for the Souls of Your Spouse

3:1b so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,

I appreciate how Dan Doriani explains this purpose of submission is set in the literary context of 1 Peter.

1 Peter The Contexts of 1 Peter 3

Third, from a literary perspective, we recall that 1 Peter taught Christian converts how to be faithful disciples in a pagan world. Peter opens by calling his people “strangers in the world” (1 Peter 1:1). In the long section on social behavior, he adds that they are “aliens and strangers” in the world and therefore must “abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul” (2:11). But, he continues, Christian virtue has an apologetic function: “Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us” (2:12). So the good conduct of the believer is missional or pre-evangelistic. A good life silences accusers

There is nothing stranger to a lost world than willing submission. We see people all the time complaining about, rebelling against and protesting against the government, not because of injustice but because of selfish view of what we think our rights are!!!

As an employer I see all the time people who refuse to comply with company policies because of their own selfish desires, or self interest.

Wives refuse to submit to husbands not for their own good but because they believe submission negates their equality. In reality function and role has nothing to do with equality.

Galatians 3:28 ESV

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Do you hear a constant theme in these issues with submission, “SELF.” Until we all put to death our desire to pur ourselves first we will never rightly submit to the One true God and His Word.

Doriani affirms the problem of self as well,

1 Peter A Countercultural Wife

Peter’s command “Wives, … be submissive” (1 Peter 3:1) will divide, even offend, contemporary readers. When Peter tells wives to obey their husbands and call them “lord” (3:6 ESV), skeptics groan. Sadly, men have fueled the critics by abusing their God-given authority and physical strength. If husbands loved their wives as they should, this passage would not be controversial. It is controversial, yet we will not read Peter accurately if we let contemporary gender debates become our lens for interpretation. It is better to acknowledge our preferences and let Scripture test them (1 Thess. 5:21), since God’s Word is infallible and we are not. The prevailing mind-set of our age does influence us. Therefore, if our Bible-reading never challenges us, we probably aren’t reading well. A faith that never upsets us is a designer faith, with the self as designer.

We are all image bearers of God, we are all equal under the cross in Christ!

Why then are wives to be subject to their own husbands?

1. To model obedience for the disobedient

so that even if some do not obey, they see your obedience. Is there anything that grabs our attention more than seeing someone’s behavior change? To someone who has been one way for years or done something as long as we have known them to completely change their actions.

To see;

A drunk becomes sober.

A fighter becomes friendly.

A cusser’s mouth becomes clean.

A pretentious wife becomes patient.

A hateful husband becomes humble.

One ignorant to the Word becomes obsessed with Word.

One who was disobedient to the Word begins to obey the Word.

One who used to reject the gospel now proclaims the gospel.

Will that not grab out attention more than one who constantly nags and beats us over the head with the gospel? Will we not wander what happened to them? Why are they so different, why don’t they act they way the used to act? Why do they have so much joy in the midst of tragedy? Why do they have so much concern for the church, why do they care so much about the men and women of the church, why do they desire to be so close to the church?

Because they have ben born again by the mercy of God!

2. To win without a word

so they may be won without a word, by the conduct of their wives, by the walk of their wives.

Peter say’s wives be obedient so that your husbands cannot deny the work that has taken place in our life. This may be the means by which God shows them mercy to bring them from death to life. To awaken them to the truth that God has change them through the power of the gospel and he can change your disobedient husband through the same means.

Peter is not saying to never speak the gospel, but he is saying let your conduct preceded your speech. Let your actions support your words of testimony.

So wives be subject to your husbands,

To show your obedience,

To see your husband won without a word, and

To

3. To reveal redeemed conduct.

3:2 when they see your respectful conduct.

Wayward husbands will be won by the faithful, respectful, God-honoring conduct of their wives.

1 Peter A Countercultural Wife

E. B. Cranfield notes: “Of course, she must be ready to speak about Christ. But to persist in talking to someone who does not want to listen only hardens.” The gentle and quiet way may be more effective than what seems like nagging. And “those whose hearts are proof against preaching may at least be softened by … behavior.”

This is where I want to turn to us as the body. Yes husbands and wives are to encourage one another spiritually. We are to be ready to give a reason for the hope that is in us with meekness and fear. However, this is when the church can help, this is when a voice outside the home can help. We should be on the look out for wives who need help witnessing to their husbands so that a voice from outside the home may help lead them Christ.

Maybe we invite them over for a meal.

Maybe we invite the unbelieving husband to go fishing.

Maybe we go visit them in their home.

Maybe we invite him to men’s fellowship.

Let’s let a wives work impact her husband and then as the church use our words to share the gospel with Him!

Spurgeon Commentary: 1 Peter Exposition

Could any men be won to Christ without the Word? Yes, it was even so in the apostle’s day. When they refused to attend the little Christian meetings that were being held, and so could not hear what was there said, yet at home they saw the change that the gospel of Christ had wrought in their wives, and they said, “She is quite different from what she used to be. Certainly, she is a far better wife than any heathen woman is; there must be something in the religion that can make such a change as that.” In this way, without the Word, many of them were won to Christ by the godly conversation of their wives.

II. Spiritual Humility Leads to Sanctification

3:3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear.--

3:4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

III. Spiritual Strength Gained through Imitation.

3:5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands.

3:6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.

And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.