190720 - Brett & Megan's Wedding Sermon
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The Value of a Friend
Grace to you and peace from God our father and from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
Looking for the perfect word
Looking for the perfect word
9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help. 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though one might prevail against another, two will withstand one. A threefold cord is not quickly broken.
this wedding season...
as i’ve known that i would need
to perform weddings - for you two
and for others this summer....
I have been on the hunt
for the perfect thing to say
###
4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
In the moment
right before you shared your vows
I've been looking
8 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. 9 For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; 10 but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.
For the perfect word of advice
To share with the two of you
and all the other couples
i’ll be performing weddings for
in the coming season
what - i wondered - should i say
as you two become
THE PURPOSE OF THIS WEDDING SERMON IS TO...frame Riley & Alex's wedding vows
- through your vows to one another
I've been on a hunt to give the very best advise to you....`
FISHING:
FISHING:
husband and wife
That hunt has took me
Been fishing all of last week
on a long journey
Asked my fishing buddy - one of the most thoughtful guys i know
…in a fishing boat...
…in a fishing boat...
What would you say to someone on their wedding day? - Just before they were to take their vows
It took me to the waters
He said something that
Of western North Dakota
to consult with one of the wisest men
VETERANS:
I know
Friend who is a doctor at the Veterans Administration clinic in town
A classmate of mine from college
We go back to college days - Bible study the first week i was in college
who is filled with incredible wisdom
She started a project - asking Veterans w/ over 60 years of marriage
we spent a couple days
What's the secret to a long, successful marriage...
in a fishing boat together
__ Treat your spouse like their the best thing that has ever happened to you, because it is...
You know about that Alex..
-- It's alright to disagree without being disagreeable. If we agreed on everything, one of us wouldn't be necessary
we talked about a lot of things
-- Know when to shut up, which is almost always
Because we were going back and forth
we solved most of the worlds problems
On last-minute edits to the wedding program
-- Don't say everything out loud, that comes into your brain
WHILE i was on the fishing boat...
-- Always have the last word -- yes, dear
we caught up on old times
we discussed..
BIBLE VERSES:
Such is the miracle of modern technology
his family
my family....
Genesis:
and just when the time was right
Being Made in the image of God
I asked him
It (was) all good (at one time)
what words of advice would you give
A created companion for one another
to someone
Men have one less set of ribs than women
who is just about to
- that's a lie
Exchange vows - in their wedding
- someone just told me that a couple weeks ago
And this wise man
- the lies of marriage
The wisest man I know .... said ...
I don't think you can give people words of advice
Hard work: Leaving the old - beginning something new
everybody's life
[Everything else must have a lower priority than your marriage]
is so unique
Is: Patience...kindness...bearing....believing...hoping...enduring,
every couple is so different
not boastful/arrogant/rude/selfish/irritable/resentful/
I don't know you can
Colossians
That word- may make a lot of sense
Yes - compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, bearing with, forgiving...above all: Loveing....
To a couple of guys
Peaceful
In a fishing boat
-----
But I didn't think it would be enough...
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts....
To just say that
-----
- here an now..
Such love comes from God. This love is
Having struck out with him...
...folks married for a long time...
...folks married for a long time...
I turn to a friend of mine
deep and lasting, one of
trust and commitment. It is a love that
who is a doctor
here in Brainerd
requires us to be open and vulnerable to our partner,
ready to walk into unfamiliar territory together. It is a
At the local VA clinic
love of confession and forgiveness, one
This doctor-friend .. is someone
willing to admit you are wrong and to
I've known for over 35 years
accept the admission of the other with grace. It is a
for quite some time now
love that might require you to bite your tongue once in awhile, to
She has been working on a personal project
With veterans she sees as patients
consider words and actions first. It is a
whatever she encounters a veteran
love of trust and loyalty.
So what is this love we set before you
married for 60 years or more...
So what is this love we set before you today?
she asked them
what's the secret
“Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in truth. It bears all things endures all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”
to a long and successful marriage
Sounds tough, actually impossible,
if we try to do it on our own. This
then she collects their answers
love you set before yourselves today as your ideal is a
she's written them up in a list
love that can be achieved only as a gift from God.
about a page and a half long
Such a love has its source in God before whom we gather today. A
That contain different words of advice
Some of them funny
love that can and will shower down on you as you seek to live in God’s love
Some of them serious
passionate love,
passion for each other,
Some of them - not helpful at all...
Some I can’t repeat here in this place
passion for life and a
I picked out five - to give as examples
passion for God.
Keep in mind
Just these five responses
I would
leave you with an invitation to
...represent
allow the love of God
The answers from people
Who have collectively
to create in your married life such a passion
Over 300 years of married experience
passion that gives you the courage to create a beautiful and God-filled marriage
1 - Treat your spouse
passion that allows you to bring the best of yourself to this marriage,
like they’re the best thing
that has ever happened to you,
because they are ..
2 - It's alright to disagree
creating a marriage giving life to you and to those around you
without being disagreeable.
If we agreed on everything,
one of us wouldn't be necessary
May your marriage also have within it a
3 - Know when to shut up,
which is almost always
then there is my favorite one...
… a word of advice that i wish i’d heard
when i was beginning my married life
passion for God
4 - Don't say everything out loud,
that comes into your brain
5 - Always have the last word
one who gives us the ability to love and to work at love.
which is:
-- yes, dear
Stay close to God
these are all good words of advice
but having read them all...
because God is the source of this power and love.
I've come to the conclusion
You have begun well today.
my friend - out in the fishing boat
May you continue in your marriage with the words of
ever before you.
is probably right..
These words of advice may
May God bless your beginnings today and may God bless your life together, giving you the passion and courage to continue what you have begun so well today.
- or they may not apply
To you - as a couple...
maybe staying quiet is what you need
but maybe it is not
maybe saying, yes dear...
is the word
but maybe it isn’t
appropriate for the moment
And how am I ... or how are any of us
- to know...
At one level...
What you're doing here...
Together
Is beyond any of our understanding
I’m reminded of the story
of a wedding photographer
For whom disaster struck
This photographer took lovely pictures
of the wedding party outside the church
What this photographer failed to notice
Was the church sign
Which was in the background
of every family picture
A sign which had the words of Jesus
Taken from Luke - chapter 23
Words Jesus spoke..while hanging on the cross
Father - forgive them
For they know not what they are doing
You don’t know what you’re doing
You don’t know what you’re doing
Truth is - you don't know what you are doing....
And the truth is...
At the deepest level...
We don't know what you are doing either
We don't know what joys are around the corner for you
We don't know what challenges
You are going to face either
As wise as my friend is...
Or as experienced as these veterans are
None of us can give you advise...
...all we can do..
pointing you in the right direction
pointing you in the right direction
Is point you in the direction
Of the source of love
And the source of strength
That DOES know ... what you are doing
That DOES know ... what you need to know
That can give you ...
what you need...
The love - comes from God
It's deep
It's lasting
The love of God ..
Is a love of trust and commitment
It's a love that will make you
open and vulnerable to each other
When you need to be
It's a love that will prepare you
to walk into new experiences
And new places with each other
It's a love that brings with it confession
It's a love that brings forgiveness
It's a love that makes you
willing to admit you are wrong
It's a love that causes you
To accept the other’s apology with grace
It's a love
that might require you to keep silent
at the right time
but it’s a love
that might require you to speak
one that causes you
to considers words and actions first
Before saying and doing them
It's a love of trust and loyalty
It's the love spoken about in I Corinthians...
love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way;
4 Love is patient; love is kind;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice in wrongdoing,
love is not envious or boastful
but rejoices in truth.
or arrogant 5 or rude.
It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice in wrongdoing,
but rejoices in the truth.
7 It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
It bears all things endures all things,
8 Love never ends.
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.”
That image sounds tough,
to live up to...
tougher than even the moon landing
which was happening 50 years ago...
…at about this very moment...
[which - i have to say …
it was very smart - or serendipitous of you
to schedule your wedding right now...
…because
you’ll forever
be able to look up at the moon
and remember how that event ...
which happened at 3:17pm Central Time
coincides with your wedding day...]
but as hard as it was to land on the moon...
fulfilling this vision of Love
found in I Corinthians...
is even harder....
it’s actually impossible,
[i was a campus pastor at Purdue...
and they love talking about going to the moon there
because the first man to walk on the moon
and the last man - so far - to walk on the moon
were Purdue graduates...
Just to the west of the Neil Armstrong building
they have a huge bronze statue
of Neil … dressed as a student
and on the ground in front of him...
are cement footprints of an astronaut...
they are layed out in such a way as to invite you
to run from foot-print to foot-print...
…until… there is a plant… and a jump
and you realize
there is NO WAY…you can jump that far
because’s earth’s gravity simply wont let you
in the same way...
if we try to live out the love of God ourselves
no amount of advice
from me - or anyone else
will suffice....
It's a love - that is our ideal
because the gravity of this world
And we're able to achieve only part of it..
will bring you down...
...and that part - comes as a give from God
it is simply impossible....
but because..
love has its source
in the heavens above..
beyond the bounds
of our earthly reality
because
love has its source in God
In whose name we gather today
you both can be sustained
and will sustain you both
whenever you seek to live in God’s love
even in this unfamiliar
and yet-to-be explored landscape
called marriage
a...passionate love,
passionate love,
passion for each other,
with a passion for the full life
that comes with a passion for God.
I leave you then - not with advise
But with an invitation:
An invitation to live together
in the love of God
bound together
- like the three stranded chord
on the altar
God’s love has power
to create in your married life such passion
passion that gives you courage
to create a beautiful and God-filled marriage
with a passion that allows you
to bring the best of yourself
to this marriage,
to create a marriage
that is life - giving to you
and will sustain you
in times when you are weary.
May your marriage always have
passion for God
the one who gives us the ability
to love and to work at love
Stay as close to God
because God is the source
of this power and love.
You have begun well today.
May you continue in your marriage
with the words of
ever before you.
May God bless your beginnings today
and may God bless your life together,
giving you the passion and courage
to continue
in what you have begun this day