The Hard Work of Spiritual Friendship

Introduction

Hebrews 12:12–17 NIV

Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son. Afterward, as you know, when he wanted to inherit this blessing, he was rejected. Even though he sought the blessing with tears, he could not change what he had done.

Pray.

: 12-

If you are just joining us or have missed some weeks, this book written to first century church. Comparison to major things of the faith and showing the superiority of Jesus. Also that Jesus is sufficient for all they need to accomplish their journey.

If you are just joining us or have missed some weeks, the section of Hebrews that we find ourselves are contained in a section that begins with

the section of Hebrews that we find ourselves are contained in a section that begins with

the section of Hebrews that we find ourselves are contained in a section that begins with

Hebrews 12:1–2 NIV

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

After all the teaching, theological and ethical, the calling is to run this race. Last week we found out what happens when the race faces challenges or hardships, and the way that God might be teaching us along the way....today this race gets even more challenging and the scene is unlike the front of the marathon pack as Thomas Long puts it, but more like the back of the pack…people struggling to go on further and to accomplish their journey.

Further, what happens when we see someone struggling to finish? Struggling to carry on in the race? Or maybe more subtle, just tempted to take a different turn or quit.

The answer is we pick each other up. Check out this video.

Video here?

Communal Protection

The calling here is for communal protection. This is the last warning in the motif that the preacher uses here and this one has a unique shade. All of them are addressed to the community. But the rest are more addressed to a community of individuals....this one is aimed at how the community should respond. The warning and exhortations here are to the Christian community about how we are to pick up one another.

See, this is against our culture and upbringing. This is counter to the social construct of the world around us. While the world is given to hyper-individualism and commodification, God’s people are called to community and participation.

Tim Keller in a book about marriage shares the following....and I share from a book on marriage because if the Spiritual covenant of marriage is broken in our culture then you better believe the spiritual bond of friendship and community is gone.....

“Sociologists argue that in contemporary Western society the marketplace has become so dominant that the consumer model increasingly characterizes most relationships that historically were covenantal, including marriage. Today we stay connected to people only as long as they are meeting our particular needs at an acceptable cost to us. When we cease to make a profit - that is, when the relationship appears to require more love and affirmation from us than we are getting back - then we "cut our loses" and drop the relationship. This has also been called "commodification," a process by which social relationships are reduced to economic exchange relationships, and so the very idea of "covenant" is disappearing in our culture. Covenant is therefore a concept increasingly foreign to us, and yet the Bible says it is the essence of (Christian relationship) marriage.” 

― Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

Think about this in the race we watched earlier. If friendship was defined by personal gain and profit or competition outweighed all of that then that young man keeps running…However, if friendship is greater than profit, if it is about a journey they are on together....to the point that they didnt even care about being disqualified (what the world says) …then it is something more.

Our relationships here, in this room, are more about our shared journey together. Not about what we might gain, but how we help one another know, serve, love, and resemble God in deeper ways.

Ok so how do we do this? Well the preacher prescribes one command and three warnings that coincide. This is how you pick up one another...

Keep the Peace and Be Holy

The big umbrella that the instruction fits under are these two characteristics… keep the peace and be holy, or help each other be holy. All we talk about the rest of the time I think feeds into these things or describes how in fact you keep peace and help each other be holy....

Before we get to these three parts let me just say a word about Peace and holiness:

Peace:

First, peace.

Hebrews 12:14 NIV

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.

Hebrews 12

“Make every effort to live in peace.”

Because our relationships are not about profit, but about our unity in Christ, we should make every effort to be in peace.

For you avoiders, conflict avoidance is not making every effort to live in peace. This word is not about a cease-fire but about a setting right of things. Do you hear me friends?! Conflict avoiding is not healthy, I speak from experience....this is the repression of things and allow issues to live below the surface.

For you non-avoiders, conflict sharks....this is not about proving yourself right but about loving well.

Every effort to live in peace means going to someone and having a private hard conversation, finding middle ground, forgiveness, and working on relationships before conflict goes wrong. And this does not mean telling 57 people about it first.

Hebrews 12:14 NIV

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.

“and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”

“and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”

We talk about holiness a lot. But let me just remind, holiness is about being set apart. It is about being “other” than the world around us. When our allegiance is to Jesus above all else, we will be different than the world, period.

Allow me to dance on the edge of disaster and use politics as an example for a second....

1. just hear me out, calm down, it will be ok. If your politics fits nicely into some party platform then you are doing it wrong. If you find yourself making your republican friends uneasy and your democrat friends question things, then maybe you are right where you need to be. Do not fit into a box that you are not made for. I am not talking about specific policies or issues here....I am just saying quit picking allegiances that are of this world. For those that have allegiance to Christ alone, they will not fit into some box

Let me give you an easier one, which is basically anything else, marriage:

2. If your marriage looks like all of your non-Christian marriages then you are missing the mark. Sure some of your neighbors might have solid healthy marriages, but your should be marked by God. Full of sacrifice and servitude. Long standing, covenant keeping, fighting for one another. Dedication that resembles how Christ loves the church...

3. One more, structure of your life: If your life is as busy and full with soccer, baseball, dance, vacations, etc etc as the world, then you are missing it. Life structured with worship, Christian community, service, family time etc.

Why is this important because Hebrews says holiness is how the world sees God. And we are to help each other in this way....

Watch out for these communal disasters: These are the warnings that help protect and promote peace and holiness....

See that no one falls short of grace

Hebrews 12:15 NIV

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

Hebrews

Direct tie to holiness conversation. We help each other to experience God’s grace. This means going to our brother or sister, and say hey… I love you, this way is not the way to life.

“Like a surgeon, friends cut you in order to heal you.” 

― Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

again, the cross country runner gathering up his brother to finish the race.

2. See that no bitter root exists

This is a clear OT reference to Deuteronomy. The warning in Deuteronomy is about Israelites worshipping other God’s and the was that can infect the whole. The same warning is here… see to it that there is not 1 or 2 that poisons the well. This is about peace right?

And I think this happens on a local level....like in your relationships do not allow something dark take hold…go to that person and talk it out. Do you know what I am talking about?

3. See that no one is sexual immoral or like Esau

Feels like we get two for the price of one here. Scholars have debated about what the link is to sexual immorality and Esau here…Esau really gets tore up in ancient Jewish writings but there are not strong arguments that he is sexually immoral. Maybe there is another connection.

Esau is an interesting story from Genesis where he comes in the door and sells his inheritance, his birthright, to his brother Jacob for a bowl of Stew. He is so tired and starving that he desires this meal above all else. Jacob takes advantage and says “give me your birthright, swear to it. And Esau looks at the fact that he is years away from this benefit, half thinks his brother is crazy and cant go through with it....he swears to it for temporary satisfaction in a bowl of stew.....

What is the connection here?

The preacher of Hebrews is again warning to not lose everything for temporary gain or temporary satisfaction.

Now what is the connection to sexual immorality? or Fornication as the literal translation here. Well the one that is sexually immoral is the one who is throwing away something for momentary satisfaction, right?

Let me give you one example....

Family/Marital Pornography Stats

The negative effects of pornography do not end after development. They can be just as harmful to families and marriages.

According to National Coalition for the Protection of Children & Families, 2010, 47% of families in the United States reported that pornography is a problem in their home.xii

Pornography use increases the marital infidelity rate by more than 300%.xiii

40 percent of people identified as “sex addicts” lose their spouses, 58 percent suffer considerable financial losses, and about 33% lose their jobs.xiv

68% of divorce cases involve one party meeting a new paramour over the internet while 56% involve one party having an “obsessive interest” in pornographic websites.xv

https://www.webroot.com/us/en/resources/tips-articles/internet-pornography-by-the-numbers

This is just one aspect of the temptation and lure of sexual sin. The Bible is so hard on sexual immorality because it is so destructive to people. It is the one that tears apart peace and holiness from the community.

Closing:

Man, this past week was tough for the McManns....

This community came running, we told a handful of people so that they could be praying for us. The people that knew and the staff were relentless in their support. This church and this community is amazing about picking up one another when they are going through it. It is truly remarkable.

What if the harder work of spiritual friendship is about finding that brother or sister that is struggling with their faith or wondering in other directions and lovingly bringing them back from the drift? What if the hard work and deep work and supernatural work of church is to help each other resemble God in deeper ways?

We are so good about picking up each other when some one breaks a leg or gets sick, what about when someone is spiritually broken or sick?