A Good Goodbye- Guilt, Grief, and the Good News

Intro

This is my last Sunday. I am pleased to be able to say goodbye in this way. For a couple reasons:

First, because I love preaching and I love you. So this is nice

Secondly, goodbyes are hard and complex.

Taking our time to sort through a good goodbye will help us to do it correctly and understand what is happening

You might not like me...

Thirdly, we will be saying goodbye to people for our whole lives

People we like and don’t

Moving, kids growing up, people growing apart, even people dying

These things happen all the time and we need to be able to have Good, Godly goodbyes

Good vs Bad

Memories, excitement, fondness, heartbreak, nervousness, disappointment.

Two that ruin goodbyes: guilt and grief

Guilt

You are filled with regret and you carry the weight

Guilt involved in leaving: so much that could have done/could have been done differently.

How can you be sure that after this goodbye is done, you shouldn’t be filled with regret and guilt?

**Princeton Researchers: 2013, the weight of guilt— expend more energy to do the same things**

How can we keep a good bye from damaging the move forward?

Grief

Grief is a part of a goodbye, but we can let it overwhelm us and handicap us from moving forward

Something we love is ending, or someone we love is being separated from us— that hurts

How can keep that hurt from ruining the start of the next chapter?

How can we be sad the right way?

Answers

Hard questions: How can we have a good goodbye?

(Pop-culture, pop-psychology, self-help books)

Better Idea: How did Paul say goodbye?

Paul

**Read **

Guilt and the Gospel

How is he not guilty? How is he innocent of their blood? (v26)

How can he live the rest of his life (probably not long) without guilt of feeling like he hadn’t done enough, said enough, been there enough??

V 26- He declared to them the whole plan of God.

By explaining to them what the whole plan of God is, Paul sees the most basic requirement of his responsibility fully fulfilled

How can he live the rest of his life (probably not long) without guilt of feeling like he hadn’t done enough, said enough, been there enough?

Guilt and the Gospel

Paul answers his guilt with the Gospel: Was our foundation the Gospel?

vs 27- “because I did not avoid declaring to you the whole plan of God” / Whole counsel of God

The Greek here can be understood “the entirety of God’s plans”

Christian Standard Bible. (2017). (). Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers.

THIS cures all guilt that he has for his goodbye: that he fulfilled his mission to them

In fact, vs 24 Paul tells us that his whole purpose is to finish his course and the ministry

He can leave these people he loves so much, guilty-free, because his gospel-rooted ministry needs to be completed

And that is more important than him staying. Or even Him staying alive.

Grief and the Gospel

Paul answers his grief with the Gospel

Was there grief: **Read **

\Tears, weeping, hugs, relationships broken— there was grief for sure

But there was understanding: “Paul, we know that your leaving by God’s leading and with the gospel in mind.

So they prayed together, they shed tears together, they embraced, they kissed, they helped him to his ship.

AND they grieved.

We can be sad on sad days

The grief should never overshadow our joy in God

The grief should never overshadow our joy in His plans for us

We can have a godly grief

We can have both understanding and tears

Example: Can you rejoice in those closest to you going to the mission field?

John Piper story: young fam, “If they don’t come back, I will kill you”

Is your grief subject to the Gospel?

Are you sad with the situation but satisfied in Christ?

A good goodbye is Gospel-centered

Do you believe what Paul wrote in - “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed to us.”

PAUL wrote that= Same guy!

Christian Standard Bible. (2017). (). Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers.

Ant hills vs Mt.Everest--- Not worth comparing

Is your grief a godly grief?

With the Gospel in mind?

With that indescribable glory in mind?

Paul knows that a good bye changes location, but not the mission

The place but not the purpose

The mission field but not the mission

people/place?

He knows that the Gospel is their foundation now is the time to use it as a standard

He leaves well by giving them responsibilities:

V28 Be on guard for yourselves, be on guard for all the flock, shepherd them

Why should they do this? Because the Holy Spirit has appointed them to oversee the flock

And because Jesus purchased them with His own blood

V31 Be alert, remembering the Gospel and its implications

V32 Honor God and His Grace that you have been committed to

This will build you up

This is where your inheritance comes from

This is where your good works come from: (v35)

He can leave well because he knows his responsibility:

V24- to testify to the Gospel of God’s grace.

He has done that here, he must now continue it elsewhere

He is constrained, couldn’t possibly do anything else

He can leave well by acknowledging the past, present and future

Thank you

It was a great past, it is a heart-warming present, and a future that moves forward

Gospel centered past, present, and it HAS to remain that way in the future

For the next man. For the visitors. For the oldest. For the youngest. Styles and formats will change. People’s tastes and emphases will shift— But never the end goal.

We have centered ourselves on the Gospel, not because of who are leaders our, but because who are Savior is

Paul can leave well because he knows that one man is not as important as the One True God

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I am not as good a man is Paul to claim a completely guilt-free card

I feel like I could have done more of somethings, less of others

I didn’t cry everyday for 3 years like he did

But our time here has meant the world to me— and I want to thank you

Allowing us into your family here

Watching you grow more like Jesus

Teaching us what it means to show love

I love you all

And we love this church

We plan to come back soon/Not my last time preaching here

But I want us to have a good Goodbye.

No guilt. Only Godly grief.

And whole lot of the Gospel.

If I haven’t been clear before, then I will be right now: Here is God’s whole plan

Gospel: God’s whole plan

Starts a little before Genesis. Just before the beginning, there was God.

He decided to create

Then starts the beginning. He created everything. From the stars to the star fish and everything in between.

It was beautiful. Breathtaking. More so then you can imagine now.

I say that because what we see doesn’t look or smell or taste as good as it did back then

Shortly after he introduced humans into the equation, things went south.

Sin entered as man and woman choose to elevate themselves over God

God’s perfect balance was disrupted. His artwork tarnished. His paradise ruined.

What once was designed as the perfect life now carried death with it.

And we know that. We feel it. We see death. We feel guilt. We hate and we hurt. We fight and we fear. We run from God.

All things that God’s design didn’t include

He hates that we run away from Him.

The very children that he designed, built, and breathed life into CHOOSE to be his enemies.

You choose to break his law

Don’t lie. Don’t steal. Obey. Be kind. Show mercy. Forgive. Be holy.

We are all guilty

We are all guilty, but we are not all alone

God promised to save his creation from itself. God promised to make a way so that his enemies could come home as children. As He planned

God promised in this book to fix what we’ve broken

God promised in this book to fix what we’ve broken

The fix, the promise, the Savoir came in God’s own Son: Jesus Christ

He came down from the highest heavens to be a humble man

He came to save the people that reject him: his enemies

He paid their debt, he took their consequence, he bought your freedom with his own blood

The punishment that you should pay, he took on himself

The

The guilt that you know you should carry: it is on his shoulders

The pain you should feel: it pierced his hands, his feet, it whipped his back and caused the blood to drip from his brow

The loneliness and isolation that should be yours: he draped that over himself.

All of this to purchase forgiveness for God’s children

But if you don’t have the guilt, the shame, the isolation and the pain— what do you have?

In Jesus:

we have freedom from that guilt and condemnation.

Shame is taken from us and honor is given to us

the threat of eternal death and torment is exchanged for the promise of eternal joy

We don’t carry our name— scarred and covered in the dirt we rubbed on it. Now we carry the perfect, blood-bought, white-as-snow glorious name of Jesus

God looks at us and sees His children because we’ve been adopted

He won’t cast us out, He will welcome us home.

He won’t ignore us in times of trouble and pain, He will care for us: guiding us deeper into love with him

Unless… (Hell)

That is all true, unless you aren’t His child.

And if you aren’t His child, if you reject the sacrifice that Jesus made on the cross, then you are God’s enemy.

The Bible tells us that God is storing up wrath and anger for those who reject His truth ()

But you might know that idea by another name: Hell

A place of separation from God

A place where every bad decision you ever made will echo around- haunting you.

Every mistake will feel like a knife in your spine

Every impure thought equals a life sentence of torture in the flames

Does that seem too strong? I don’t think it is.

It’s the truth. Sometimes the truth is strong. Sometimes the truth is scary.

This is scary. It should scare you. In fact, it should scare the hell out of you— literally

The hell that lives in your heart

That horrible death inside of you that separates you from knowing Him

The hellish sin that makes us enemies of God

The love of money is beaten by the love of God

The worship of self is given up when you worship Jesus

Trying to be good enough and just feeling soaked in guilt because you’re a failure-

you can be picked up by the grace of God and wrapped in His mercy

The evil in your heart will secure you in hell.

But this message of forgiveness brings you home to your Father who loves you

Forgiveness

And that is the word: forgiveness. That is the How

God forgives you and you move from one side to the other.

You turn from your evil, your love of money and self and sex and addiction and entertainment and you say

“God, you are most worthy. Forgive me.”

That is repentance

That is the moment of adoption, where you move from dead to alive, from guilty to innocent, when you trust God to save you from your own guilt

When you trust God to save you from your own guilt

Jesus Returns

But the story isn’t done there: Jesus’ death paid for your sins but He came back to life and He is coming back again.

Christianity, real faith in Christ as our Savoir, carries huge amounts of hope because we know all things will be restored

Jesus is coming back not as a kid- this time as the King

He will judge evil. He will punish Satan, the demons, the ones who follow him.

There will be a new world. There will be no more death and decay. No more cancer or divorce. No more abuse or neglect. No more hatred or violence.

The Whole Plan of God ends with all of creation being made new in Christ- All of everything worshipping God perfectly forever.

Do you believe in God’s power to do that?

Do you trust that Jesus was perfect enough to take your punishment on himself?

Do you believe that He is coming back to judge the living and the dead?

Do you know which side you’ll be standing on when that happens?

Today

I know where I will be standing.

If you don’t know already, you can know today.

Go to God, repent of your sins, accept forgiveness because of what Jesus did on the cross

You’ll never deserve it, but always need it- that’s the beauty of God’s grace.

He is offering you everything you need

......

I think I know how Paul felt when he said that he is innocent of the blood of all of the people at the church

Those moments of explaining the Gospel: I did my job. I fulfilled my calling.

I want each of you to hear those words and echo them around your head and your heart: Is Jesus the most important part of my life?

He did his job- “to testify to the Gospel of God’s grace”

Future

This is actually not just my job. But it is the job of the next youth pastor. And Jack, and whoever will replace him. And every elder that this church will have.

And its your job. In every part of life.

Even in your goodbyes

Good bye

Whatever the next chapter is: after the loss of a friend, a family member, a Pastor, or even if you have to leave your community...

Remember, any goodbye to God’s people is only temporary

You know that God will bless every effort to honor Him

As long as we share the same foundation of God’s Whole Plan, nothing can take that hope and joy from us

So we can support any idea if its rooted in the Gospel

Any purchase if that is its to further the Gospel

Any person if the Gospel is their foundation

....Transition...

ecause God’s Whole Plan is our shared goal

I am challenging you to give your hearts and your ears to whoever fills this pulpit or that office.

Not because I said to. Not because they will deserve it. But, because God’s Whole Plan is our shared goal

in each person, in every family, in this community, in all these states

If we are speaking the Gospel and living out the Gospel then....

We can say goodbye without any guilt

We can say goodbye with grief drenched in our joy

And we can say goodbye with hope for the future, because of Jesus

knowing that the spirit led us to this situation

trusting that God will give us what we need here

and continuing in your faith in Jesus, the lamb of God who came to bear the sins of the world

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Paul leaves without guilt

Paul leaves with a glad-grief

Paul leaves them committed to the Gospel

(Pray: next pastors, elders, FOOD)

No guilt, no

Guilt free, Godly grief, Gospel-focused

Guilt, grief, and the Good News

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Timothy was at Ephesus

Paul knew this was a Kamikaze mission