Be honest

Introduction

We are going through communication

I would like to begin this evening with a question.

Have you ever considered that fact that God could have chosen a multitude of ways for us to communicate with Him and with each other?

But God Chose Words!

However God did not choose words alone

1 John 3:18 NKJV

18 My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.

John 3:18 ESV

18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.

Our Words must be backed by our actions

Your actions speak louder than words

There is alont of truth in that statement however, we cannot show love with actions alone because God tells us hundreds of times in His word that He loves us.

-Therfore we should not only do things to comunicate our love for others we must also grow in telling others that we love them.

and use well chosen words to comunicate and solve problums

Communication is fundamental to a Christ-centered home because it is the means by which a husband-wife relationship and parent-child relationship is established, grows, and is maintained. Apart from the open channels of truthful communication that Paul discusses (in ) . . . there can be no truly Christ-centered home.” Adams, Christian Living in the Home

Communication is a key to building relationships, strong marriages, families, and strong churches

-While some communicate better than others, we all must be growing in the area of communication – in both words and actions.

The area of communication is where most of our problems originate!

Many times problems occur because one person doesn’t understand the other

that may be due to a failure to listen to the one speaking

hat may be due to a failure to listen to the one speaking

or a failure to get all the facts by asking questions and clarifying issues.

Many times problems occur because 1 person doesn’t clearly articulate his/her position very well > as a result, the other person gets confused or it leads to that person misunderstanding the other because the “waters are muddy.” > Either way, you have a communication problem:

One has to do with listening the other has to do with speaking

the last lesson on comunication we studdied the power of the tounge

The power to direct relationships

The Power to destroy relationships

the power to delight relationships

Remember our deffenition of comunication

The process of sharing information with another person in such a way that the sender’s message is understood as he intended it. Unless the sender and receiver have come to a common meaning, they haven’t communicated e"ectively.” Wayne Mack, Your Family God’s Way

We see the 4 rules of comunication found in

the four rules are

Be honest

keep current

attack the Problum not the person

Act don’t react

Ephesians 4:22–32 ESV

22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. 25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. 28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

The first rule is Be honest (V.25)

Ephesians 4:25 KJV 1900

25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.

What is Paul istruction us to do?

under divine inspiration, he is instructing the church to communicate

Notice we are not told to just put awy lying but to speak the truth

People don’t change just because they STOP something – the sinful habit of thinking or action needs to be replaced! - we also need to realize . . .

A. This is a comand - “you speak”

you can’t say, “Wel,l I don’t like that command, therefore . . . “

- you can’t say, “I don’t FEEL like doing that!”

one of the problems in conflicts is when someone DISOBEYS this command!

God modeled communication all the way back in

of course, when Adam sinned, the communication line with God got “CUT” – that’s why Adam went and hid in the bushes – he didn’t want to SPEAK

of course, when Adam sinned, the communication line with God got “CUT” – that’s why Adam went and hid in the bushes – he didn’t want to SPEAK

for the believer (as a creature created by the Creator) . . .

* Clamming up is not an option for the Christian!

by clamming up we mean the refusal to discuss a problem or an attempt to resolve it - evading, avoiding, manipulating do not solve problems (in fact, they make it worse)

Question: Why is it importent to comunicate honestly with others?

1 Corinthians 2:11 KJV 1900

11 For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God.

Answer: We comunicate weith others because they can not read our mind

there may be patterns of behavior/responses that a person might anticipate (but that anticipation can be wrong) so you need to communicate!

B. Honesty is more than not lying

-honesty is telling the truth and includes the folowing

Facts about the situation

Reality of the circumstances

Being open about it (willing to discuss details)

This is what we humanly speaking could call full disclosure

there is nothing to hide- just put it all on the table.

This however does not mean that everyone needs to know everything

Ephesians 4:15 ESV

15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,

Question: What could happen if you told everyone everything?

Remember loose lips sink ships

The goal of speakin the truth is not

speaking your mind but solving conflicts in a way that brings glory to God.

to accomplish that truth has to be on the table

We need to not only speek the truth but do it in Love

Ephesians 4:15 ESV

15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,

Question: Why is it so hard to speak the truth in love

Colossians 4:6 ESV

6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

so many times, we do the OPPOSITE – we have our speech always with SALT and only seasoned with GRACE!

Jesues was not like that and therfore neither should we be.

We should speak the truth in Love!

Another aspect of this truth is we need to remember that dishonesty is not pleasing to God

Question: What attribute of God would dishonesty attack?

-His holiness

Dishonesty does not give the right opinion of God- He is totally and completly honest.

Jesues is the way the Truth and the life

John 1:14 KJV 1900

14 And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.

We also ought to be full of grace and truth

examples of dihonesty

1. Outright deceit (Includes exaggeration, embellish truth) 2. Over exaggeration (100 % words) Examples: You always / you never / every time this happens you . . . or you can’t do anything right

3. Conflict between body language, tone of voice (halo data) and the content of what we say. Example: Whats wrong…nothing

4. Disguising the real message with innuendoes.

Example

Husband tells his wife what a good cook somebody else is (because he doesn’t want to tell her the truth – that she’s really bad and he doesn’t like it) Conclusion

1. Are you honest

2. If you had to stand at the Judgment Seat of Christ today, what would Jesus say about your communication?

If you had to stand at the Judgment Seat of Christ today, what would Jesus say about your communication?

3. do you need to ask for forgiveness for NOT practicing Rule #1?

do you need to ask your spouse (or your kids) for forgiveness for NOT practicing Rule #1?