Matthew 18 Complements (Doesn't Compete with) Romans 13

Different Knives

When you have a surgeon a knife, they think of it as a scalpel.

When you hand a knife to a fisherman, they think a filet knife.

when you hand a knife to a chef, they think julienne.

Each sees the knife from a different perspective. Their experience reflects how they see it and what they would use it for.

The same can be said of ministry leaders and pastors. When people come to them with problems, they are assuming it is an issue that can be handled within the context of the church.

Why do victims of abuse come to the church for answers?

Trust. They are looking for someone they can trust.

Victims of abuse are often disoriented. They aren’t thinking straight. They will look for someone who they feel safe with as opposed to talking with a stranger about this issues.

We need to be good stewards of that trust.

Listen to the experts: Describe the frame of mind and thought processes that are common when an adult or minor is preparing to make their initial disclosure of an experience of abuse.

Revealing abuse can be as traumatic as the experience of abuse; if this is true, why do victims often choose to reveal abuse to church leaders?

Watch video of Experts Video - 2:04

What might cause us to be a poor steward of an abuse victim’s trust?

Let’s go back to the blades, we expect to see what we expect to see because of the roles we play.

When we hear abuse, we think of a really bad sin, rather than crime.

Later we will be taking a look at whether all abuse is a crime.

When dealing with severe sin, we probably think of as the best way to deal with it.

If you cause someone to stumble

Dealing with sin in the church and pointing it out and dealing with disciplining members of the church.

The parable of the unmerciful servant

Church discipline would be an appropriate response, but many times is ignored.

We’ll get into this a little later.

However, if that is the only approach to this, we have chosen one ministry path over many other that can be used as well.

Most counseling mistakes do not happen because we ask the right questions and arrive at a wrong conclusion. Most counseling mistakes arise from the questions we don’t ask and, therefore, never consider the possibilities that might need to occur.

In abuse cases, when we think , we usually neglect considering .

Biblical steps sloppily taken don’t provide safety.

When severe sin is also illegal, we need to understand how relates to in order for 18 to be applied in a way that honors God.

- submitting to governing authorities.

Let’s think about how they relate

Is it like God to assign different roles to different people in complex situations.

Yes. Think of the care of the congregation.

deacons

pastors/elders

church members care for each other

- God has assigned governing authorities to run point on things that are illegal.

- God has assigned to the church to run point on things that are immoral.

It may seem awkward to differentiate between these two. A lot of times they will overlap.

For our lesson, we are always going to say that abuse is immoral, most of the time illegal as well.

Listen to the Experts - Video 9:51

Question: What are common reasons why ministry leaders often miss the illegal in the immoral?

All of this makes us ask the question

What do we, as ministry leaders, do when overlaps with ?

How do we handle this when we have civil responsibilities that overlap with our pastoral responsibilities?

Think about the question and the way it is asked. How do we answer this question well? Let’s consider five key points.

1. If civil authorities need to be involved, make sure they are notified.

We had no role in the event the person who has been subjected to the abuse, until they came and had the courage to talk with us. Neither do the authorities.

2. View civil authorities as complementary teammates who have the same initial objectives: the safety of the victim(s).

They have the ability to help in ways we cannot. Whether that be the police or social worker, they can take steps to protect the person or persons who have been hurt in this process. We need to be thankful for their help they can provide.

3. Realize the legal process may delay some aspects of ministry involvement.

There are times that an investigation may prevent us from taking steps in our role. This doesn’t mean we need to look at this in a competitive nature. We need to let the judicial process play itself out. This may mean we aren’t allowed to disclose certain things pertaining to an investigation. In these cases, we as a church body, need to have trust in our leadership.

It may also delay our contact to provide pastoral leadership to the on committing the abuse. These are all things which we will need to be aware of and ready to deal with.

4. Seek to be an asset to the civil authorities.

When we report, we have already established we are there to help. To further this, the question needs to the authorities, How can we help?

5. Realize that even though the church’s role is broader (redemptive) and longer (not just to the resolution of the legal concern), the input and expertise of the civil authorities can be very helpful to good pastoral care.

Civil authorities have much more experience dealing with these issues. They can let us know the severity of what has happened, which will help us know the best course of action to take with the abused and the abuser. We should also seek their help and advise through this process.

Ask the Experts - Video 16:17

Question: What common mistakes happen when church leaders interact with civil authorities, social workers, or mental health professionals?

Most of this lesson has been about how the church can cooperate with civil authorities.

Now we need to take a look at

How can churches cooperate with one another?

With abusers, most of the time restoration to the church where this was discovered doesn’t happen.

The abuser will move to another church.

The church where the abuse happens fails to report this to the new church.

Why do churches fail to report this?

Various reasons

poor record keeping

wilfully protecting the abuser

a fear of litigation

In order to keep the fear of litigation being a factor, we must have a more formal documentation and structured process in place.

This will be something that will be in process once the team gets back from the seminar in TX dealing with these issues.

We must have these steps in place whether the abuse was illegal or immoral to keep fellow brothers and sisters in our churches from going through the same heartache we have experienced, if this happens.

Knowing that our discipline process will follow an abuser may also make our efforts for restoration more successful.

Questions and Comments