190802 - Alex Kempf & Megan Marlatt Wedding (2)

Grace to you and peace

Looking for the perfect word

from God our father

and from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

this wedding season...

as i’ve known that i would need

to perform weddings - for you two

and for others this summer....

I have been on the hunt

for the perfect thing to say

In the moment

right before

you share your vows to each other

I've been looking

For the perfect word of advice

To share with the two of you

what - i wondered - should i say

as you two become

- through your vows to one another

husband and wife

That hunt has took me

on a long journey

…in a fishing boat...

It took me to the waters

Of western North Dakota

to consult with one of the wisest men

I know

A classmate of mine from college

who is filled with incredible wisdom

we spent a couple days

in a fishing boat together

we talked about a lot of things

we solved most of the worlds problems

we caught up on old times

we discussed..

his family

my family....

and just when the time was right

I asked him

what words of advice would you give

to someone

who is just about to

exchange vows - in their wedding

and this wise man

The wisest man I know .... said ...

I don't think you can give people words of advice

everybody's life

is so unique

every couple is so different

I don't know you can

That word- may make a lot of sense

To a couple of guys

In a fishing boat

But I didn't think it would be enough...

To just say that - here

- here

Having struck out with him...

...folks married for a long time...

I turn to a friend of mine

who is a doctor

in Brainerd

At the local VA clinic

This doctor-friend .. is someone

I've known for over 35 years

we ran into each other after college

in international falls...

then we went our separate ways

and now - we’re back again ...

in the same community

in Brainerd...

for quite some time now

She has been working on a personal project

With veterans she sees as patients

whatever she encounters a veteran

married for 60 years or more...

she asks them

what's the secret

to a long and successful marriage

then she collects their answers

she's written them up in a list

about a page and a half long

That contain different words of advice

Some of them funny

Some of them serious

Some of them - not helpful at all...

Some I can’t repeat

I picked out five - to give as examples

Keep in mind

Just these five responses

...represent

The answers from people

Who have - collectively

Over 300 years of married experience

1 - Treat your spouse

like they’re the best thing

that has ever happened to you,

because they are ..

2 - It's alright to disagree

without being disagreeable.

If we agreed on everything,

one of us wouldn't be necessary

3 - Know when to shut up,

which is almost always

then there is my favorite one...

… a word of advice that i wish i’d heard

when i was beginning my married life

4 - Don't say everything out loud,

that comes into your brain

5 - Always have the last word

which is:

-- yes, dear

these are all good words of advice

but having read them all...

I;ve come to the conclusion

my friend - out in the fishing boat

is probably right..

These words of advice may

- or they may not apply

To you - as a couple...

maybe staying quiet is what you need

but maybe it is not

maybe saying, yes dear...

is the word for the moment

but maybe it isn’t

And how am I ... or how are any of us

- to know...

At one level...

What you're doing here...

Together

Is beyond any of our understanding

I’m reminded of the story

of a wedding photographer

For whom disaster struck

This photographer took lovely pictures

of the wedding party outside the church

What this photographer failed to notice

Was the church sign

Which was in the background

of every family picture

A sign which had the words of Jesus

Taken from Luke - chapter 23

Words Jesus spoke..while hanging on the cross

Father - forgive them

For they know not what they are doing

You don’t know what you’re doing

Truth is - you don't know what you are doing....

And the truth is...

At the deepest level...

We don't know what you are doing either

We don't know what joys are around the corner for you

We don't know what challenges

You are going to face

As wise as my friend is...

Or as experienced as these veterans are

None of us can give you advise...

...all we can do..

pointing you in the right direction

Is point you in the direction

Of the source of love

And the source of strength

That DOES know ... what you are doing

That DOES know ... what you need to know

That can give you ...

what you need...

The love - comes from God

It's deep

It's lasting

The love of God ..

Is a love of trust and commitment

It's a love that will make you

open and vulnerable to each other

When you need to be

It's a love that will prepare you

to walk into new experiences

And new places with each other

It's a love that brings with it confession

It's a love that brings forgiveness

It's a love that makes you

willing to admit you are wrong

It's a love that causes you

To accept the other’s apology with grace

It's a love

that might require you to keep silent

at the right time

but it’s a love

that might require you to speak

one that causes you

but one that causes you

to considers words and actions first

Before saying and doing them

It's a love of trust and loyalty

It's a love of the greatest value

you chose the text

solomon - who is said..

…to be the wisest human of all time...

wrote...

if one offered for love

all the wealth of one's house

it would be utterly scorned

in other words...

there is no price one can put on Love

and it’s of inestimable worth...

because - love rings with it...

Community...

God’s love - calls you ...not just to love each other

But to take your place

in a much broader community of Love

The psalmist describes that community

as being like a.. A flock ...

which isn’t too hard to imagine .....

in this setting...

we are a flock...

Living in the midst of God’s abundant grace...

God's pasture...

…[love of the greatest great value - “If one offered for love all the wealth of one’s house, it would be utterly scorned]

benefiting from

what the Lord provides us

we are indeed the sheep of his pasture...

most of all - this source of Love... is a love

that is steadfast

it's a love that endures

throughout your lives...

and from generation to generation

one of the most special aspects of our time

here and now...

in this place

is what it means

in the succession of the generations

you two are in this moment

just the current expression

“Love is patient; love is kind;

…[love that brings with it - community…a community of God’s people as the psalmist notes … one in which we are God’s people …one people, one flock… living in midst of abundance taht only the Lord can provide. We are - indeed the sheep of his pasture ]

of a love that has been passed down

since time began

sooner than it will seem possible...

Lord willing...

you will take your place

in gatherings like these

sitting out there....

reflecting back on this moment..

having been married...

less than a month...

then maybe a year...

and then ten ...

and…twenty five...

then

Lord willing...

maybe sixty -

or even seventy years...

and along the way ...

you’ll be able to see it reflected

in the lives of your children

and your loved ones...

that what makes this moment

of that kind of endurance

what makes this moment

so incredibly powerful

and why we here in this place

can simply point

and pray

…[love that is steadfast…and one that endures.... from generation to generation]

that you will draw upon that source

That you will draw upon God...

that is what makes this moment so incredibly powerful

for what you do now

one of the

Here - with each other

it’s why words sometimes fail preachers...

and for your whole life long

because

love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice in wrongdoing,

but rejoices in truth.

It bears all things endures all things,

hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends.”

That image sounds tough,

tougher than the moon landing

which was happening 50 years ago...

…at about this very moment...

[which - i have to say …

it was very smart - or serendipitous of you

to schedule your wedding right now...

…because

you’ll forever be able to look up at the moon

and remember how that event ...

which happened at 3:17pm Central Time

coincides with your wedding day...]

but as hard as it was to land on the moon...

fulfilling this vision of Love

found in I Corinthians...

is even harder....

it’s actually impossible,

[i was a campus pastor at Purdue...

and they love talking about going to the moon there

because the first man to walk on the moon

and the last man - so far - to walk on the moon

were Purdue graduates...

Just to the west of the Neil Armstrong building

they have a huge bronze statue

of Neil … dressed as a student

and on the ground in front of him...

are cement footprints of an astronaut...

they are layed out in such a way as to invite you

to run from foot-print to foot-print...

…until… there is a plant… and a jump

and you realize

there is NO WAY…you can jump that far

because’s earth’s gravity simply wont let you

in the same way...

if we try to live out the love of God ourselves

no amount of advice

from me - or anyone else

will suffice....

because the gravity of this world

will bring you down...

love has its source in God

In whose name we gather today

it’s a love that can

and will sustain you both

whenever you seek to live in God’s love

in this unfamiliar landscape

called marriage

I leave you then - not with advise

But with an invitation:

An invitation to live together

in the love of God

bound together

- like the three stranded chord

on the altar

God’s love has power

to create a beautiful and God-filled marriage

with a passion that allows you

to bring the best of yourself

to this marriage,

to create a marriage

that is life - giving to you

and will sustain you

in times when you are weary.

May your marriage always have

passion for God

one who gives us the ability to love and to work at love

Stay close to God

because God is the source of this power and love.

You have begun well today.

May you continue in your marriage

with the words of

ever before you.

May God bless your beginnings today

and may God bless your life together,

giving you the passion and courage

to continue

in what you have begun this day