Pretending to Be Married: The Dangers of Cohabitation

Introduction:

1. The Command to Flee Sexual Immorality

A. Flee Even the Appearance of Sexual Immorality

Ephesians 5:3–5 ESV

But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Ephesians 5:3–4 ESV

But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.

1 Thess. 5:22

Romans

1 Thessalonians 5:22 ESV

Abstain from every form of evil.

Romans 7:1–3 ESV

Or do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law is binding on a person only as long as he lives? For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.

B. Flee Means to Stay Away

C. Passions Burn Hot

1 Corinthians 7:8–9 ESV

To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Colossians 3:5 ESV

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

D. People Want the Benefits of Marriage without the Commitment

Genesis 2:18 ESV

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

Genesis 2

Genesis 2:24–25 ESV

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

2. Principles for Biblical Marriage

A. Don’t Be Unequally Yoked

2 Corinthians 6:14–15 ESV

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?

B. Hold Marriage in High Esteem

Hebrews 13:4 ESV

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

C. You Can’t Change Them

1 Corinthians 7:16 ESV

For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

3. Marriage Mythbusters

A. Marriage Isn’t About You

Malachi 2:13–16 ESV

And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

B. “Taking a Test Run” Is Really Selfish Love

If you make me feel loved, then I’ll marry you. If you satisfy me sexually, then I’ll marry you. If you treat me with respect, then I’ll marry you. If you make me happy, then I’ll marry you. If you fulfill my needs, then I’ll marry you. If you like what I like, then I’ll marry you. If you make something of yourself, then I’ll marry you. If you don’t do things that get on my nerves, then I’ll marry you.  

***From Crosswalk.com

1 Corinthians 13:4–8 ESV

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

C. This IS a Gospel Issue

1 Corinthians 6:9–11 ESV

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Ephesians 5:5 ESV

For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Conclusion:

If you are going to be a Christian, you are either all in or not in at all. You can’t be like the world and be like Christ.