7 Things Churches Do: Marriage

Intro

We have been talking about the things that churches do… The hands on things that the Bible seems to lift up as important. We have talked about:

Penance and repentance

Baptism

Communion

Baptism in the Holy Spirit

Praying for the Sick

Today we talk about marriage.

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Today the world seems to be against marriage, but a quick look into various statistics tell us that married couples are happier and more fulfilled. Their children are way more likely to lead successful lives, get good jobs and also have happier lives and marriages. On the contrary, children who grow up in single family homes are way less likely to become fine outstanding citizens. Now does that mean it’s impossible to lead a great life if you don’t have single parents? No. With God all things are possible.

Today we are going to the most popular place in the Bible and I am actually going to tell you God’s plan for a successful glorious marriage. Now here’s the thing. The answer is easy. But the practice is difficult. In fact, without Jesus, it’s impossible. But I can guarantee this… if you practice the answers I am going to give you today, your marriage will improve dramatically.

Why? Because God sets it up that the good marriage is the example that He uses as the perfect picture between Christ and the Church.

Ephesians 5:32 ESV

This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Ephesians 6

In the great passage we see that when Paul is writing to the Ephesians about how to have a good marriage he pauses and says, this marriage thing.... it’s all about Christ. That’s why marriage makes it to the list of “7 Things Churches Do.”

Today I’m going to tell you how to have the perfect marriage.

The ultimate precursor

Wives

Husbands

Christ has to be at the center.

We just talked about how when Paul is talking about this perfect utopia of a marriage, he is really talking about Christ and the Church.

If you want to go to another place in the Bible to get your blood pumping… Go to the Song of Songs, or in some Bibles the Song of Solomon.

It is a PG-13 to R rated version of a passionate relationship between the bride and the bride groom.

Theologians still debate as to whether or not the book is about an actual couple, or a prophecy predicting Christ and the Church.

Either way, we see that the marriage is very important to God and not to be taken lightly.

Before we get started traveling down the blame game, the 1st part of a great marriage is realizing that Christ is your fulfillment not your spouse.

John 10:10 ESV

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

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His grace is sufficient.

You have weaknesses.

we live in a world that wants to blame everyone else and everything else for out bad behavior. But our weakness is our weakness. But God’s grace is bigger. Note.... if God’s grace is bigger than your weakness, it is big enough for your spouses weakness.

So I’m going to ask the question and you answer it yourself.... Is God your center, your fulfillment, is he enough to fill your need? The answer has to be yes or your marriage is already less than perfect.

Step One. Treat your spouse like you are a Christian.

Matthew 22:27 ESV

After them all, the woman died.

Matthew 22:37–39 ESV

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Matthew 22:37 ESV

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.

Matthew 22:37–38 ESV

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment.

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mt 22:37-

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Love each other.

James 5:16 ESV

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

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Who should be closer to you than your own spouse. Your house should be safe haven for this type of behavior.

Matthew 18:21–22 ESV

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Mt

Forgive each other. Who is more likely to sin against you 77 times in a day… the person who you see once or twice a week, or the person who kept you awake all night with there snoring.

All that said, be a Christian to your spouse.

Wives. (Husbands shut your ears… this is not about you. This is between them and the Lord.)

Ephesians 5:22–24 ESV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Eph 5:22-24

2 submits…in vs 21 we see this wording.

Ephesians 5:21 ESV

submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

this word means obey.

Now here is where I get in trouble.... in vs 22 the original greek doesn’t have it. The the translators add it to bring clarification.

That means we are both submitting in some way of fashion.

Wives to your own husbands… that word shows possession… to the husband you own.

But we aren’t off the hook…

Ephesians 5:23 ESV

For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

Why - 3 reasons

I don’t know, I’m not God. He did not put me in charge and you all should be glad He didn’t.

Biblical examples… women tend to jump outside of the place that God placed them. God tells Adam that all the food in the garden was his except the fruit of one tree. Eve is created. She knew that God didn’t want them to eat the fruit… How… this is conjecture, but probably Adam told her. She ate 1st.

Personal experience, it’s not like women aren’t as capable, but I just don’t think they need their egos need to be stroked as much… typically speaking.

Lastly

I’m not asking you to submit because your man deserves it. A recent study by Sheri Feldham revealed that most men KNOW they don’t deserve the respect they deserve and deep down inside one of their biggest fears is that you will find out that they have deep insecurities just like everyone else. Now don’t ask them, they will lie. Just know that they want to desperately be the superhero in your life. The rockstar that makes you swoon. But if you do your best to “fake it,” they will be on top of the world and be more likely to do those heroic things you desperately want them to.

Husband (Wives plug your ears, this isn’t about you it’s between them and the Lord)

Ephesians 5:25–31 ESV

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

Eph 5:25-31

The Word of God gives women 2 verses and you men.... 6. I think that is because men are 3 times more likely to mess it up. I can’t prove it but there it is.

It’s all about love. Women need to know that they are loved. It’s ingrained in them. They were created that way this passage tells us how to do that.

sacrifice your own fleshly desires (and gave himself up for her)

Be a God’s word guy leading the family in the word.. (make her holy, cleansing her by washing with water through the word.)

Think of her as radiant. Look past the wrinkles and spots and see what God has provided for you in her. A place to help you become holy. A fortress. A place where God meets you. (present her to yourself a radiant church, without spot or wrinkle of any other blemish, but holy and blameless.)

Love her the same way you love yourselves… don’t be selfish but be extravagant in the way you treat her. (Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies)

The best thing you can do for you is love her (He who loves his wife, loves himself)

Cleave only to your wife… the 2 become 1 flesh… there is no room for another.

Why?

I don’t know. I’m not God and you should be glad I’m not put in charge?

Biblical example… If Adam, who was with Eve when the serpent showed up, would have loved her and been the hero he should have been and did everything in his power to keep her holy, we would not be here talking about how hard it is to practice these really simple truths.

Personal experience. Built within every woman is this deep desire to be loved. Honestly, it can be overwhelming. But if they feel as if they are the center of their world and that you think they are the most beautiful thing in the world, you have done the best thing you can possibly do. They will be has the bible describes your true help meet. God placed that woman next to you to help you reach everything you are supposed to reach in Him..

Conclusion

I’ve saved the best verse in the Bible concerning marriage. It is so good that if you really submitted to the Lord and did everything you could to do your part and your spouse did the same, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER THEY DESERVE IT OR NOT, it can bring your marriage to a whole new level.

So, I’m going to pray for our marriages because while I can say the answer is simple, the practice can be difficult.... but not impossible… let’s pray.