Loving Words for Change.

Introduction:

For anyone who has tried to free a rusty nut it can be very frustrating. No matter how hard you try to twist it off, it won’t budge. It is stubborn and unwilling to move. But when you apply heat in order to expand the metal, most times it will move a lot easier.

Well in the same way, our proverb this morning points out the difference between the wise and the fool. To give a rebuke to a foolish man or woman, they will not budge no matter how hard you try, but for the wise man or woman, the rebuke or the heat at the moment is accepted and change occurs.

This morning, I hope to first explain the proverb, secondly point out the difficulties we struggle with the rebuke and thirdly how wise it is to accept the rebuke and deal rightly with it.

What is a rebuke? It is not the most common word used in our english language. It’s more common use is to reprimand, to scold, to admonish another, to criticize. Think of blow torch on the rusty nut. Very uncomfortable.

From a secular worldview, you could be rebuked or reprimanded for not bowing to the pride movement in supporting gay marriage, how intolerant you are. From a Christian worldview, the rebuke could be a few words that state that using foul language or using God’s name in vain is unacceptable for the redeemed.

The rebuke is meant for the correction of a brother or sister who is not living or walking in a way that lines up with who they are as children of God. Not out of self righteousness in looking better than someone else but out of love and humility which I will address more in depth later.

The rebuke is using words to point out the fault in someone for the sole purpose of correcting behaviour. Not out of self righteousness in looking better than someone else but out of love and humility which I will address more in depth later.

Now with this understanding of rebuke we can now see how the proverb comes together. To admonish someone who is wise or has understanding, it will go deeper into him. It will come to his mind and he will dwell on it. It will seep into his heart and see that his/her actions have hurt the heart of God. Out of love for God and his goodness, he makes changes.

Now with this understanding of rebuke we can now see how the proverb comes together. To admonish someone who is wise or has understanding, it will go deeper into him. It will come to his mind and it will plumb the depths of his soul and have a major affect on the heart.

But to rebuke a fool, one hundred blows won’t do any good. Grabbing bigger wrenches for more leverage won’t budge this rusty nut that is hardened and refuses to be set free (Embellish this). This one hundred blows to a fool is meant as a hyperbole or exaggeration, like no matter whether you try 10, 100 or a 1,000,000 times they just won’t get it. You can try all kinds of reason, state facts or have the best argument and it just won’t matter.

Transition: Therefore, Solomon gives us this proverb to help understand how to treat the wise and the fool. By understanding their makeup, you can move on and spend your time wisely with those who will (KJV Monty) heed the rebuke.

Transition: Therefore, Solomon gives us this proverb to help understand how to treat the wise and the fool. By understanding their makeup, you can move on and spend your time wisely with those who will accept the rebuke and desire to follow Jesus.

When someone has come up to you and pointed out sin in your life, how did that make you feel? Did it make you feel all warm and fuzzy? Didn’t you just feel the love pouring all over you? No? More than likely we feel condemned, we feel anger and think “how dare they say this to me?”

It can lead to a blowup of words, snapping at them not to judge you. If we are to be honest, we know that this can potentially happen right? And I believe this is exactly why giving a rebuke is often not given. As difficult as it is to hear a rebuke, it is often just as difficult to give the rebuke. Why? Because we can fear losing relationship, that they may point out our sin, or that in knowing that we ourselves have struggles, how can I say anything?

Let me ask you a question. What is more loving? Seeing sin that is destroying a brother/sister and saying nothing or humbly coming to them and pointing out what you have observed? Is it messy? Often times yes it is, but what is more loving? This is the difficulty for the one giving the rebuke.

For the one receiving the rebuke, the difficulty is that our pride wells up in us. The hair on our neck bristles, the defensive indignation in the pit of our stomach wells up and it takes everything in us to hold back from giving them a piece of our mind or maybe we don’t hold back at all...

Transition: So, we all can resonate to some degree with the pain and hardship of giving and receiving rebukes. It is a very difficult part of the Christian life.

As a parent, how often are you rebuking or scolding your children for acting in a way that is disobedient to your will? What was the purpose for disciplining your child? Was it not to correct them? So why is this hard to accept as a young person or adult? Did we reach an age where all of a sudden we got it right and no one can teach me or correct my bad behaviour?

I think we all know the answer to that. Our struggle friends is that we have this sinful nature that still dwells within us. We are not fully sanctified yet. If we are to grow in holiness and godliness, it is going to take a body of believers to love and help us to mature in our faith.

Our motivation to change and to be willing to accept the correction from others in the body is to be reminded again and again who we are in Christ. We are children of the one true living God. As we mentioned last week, we are wise because we are in Christ who is perfectly wise. Therefore we are men and women of understanding who are to humbly accept a rebuke from a brother or sister because we know that we have blind spots. We desire to look more and more like Jesus and the correcting word of another believer is helping us to walk in a manner worthy of our Saviour who died on our behalf. We live differently because we are forgiven and freed from sin’s slavery to now live according to the will of God our Father.

However, if we bear the name of Christ and refuse to change our sinful ways, we can expect the discipline of the Lord given to the church to deal with hard heartedness. The rebuke acts as a warning. We don’t want to turn someone over to the devil, but would rather see the sinning believer repent and change his/her ways so that God is glorified.

I just want to add that

So how can we start making healthy changes? First for the one giving a rebuke.

Love your family. We are not the “sin police”. Don’t be out looking for everyone else’s faults so you can hammer them. If something seems out of sorts, observe, pray for discernment, and ask the Lord to set your heart in right order. Remove the log so you can see the speck. Love the brother/sister out of love for Christ.

Pray in advance of meeting. Ask God to prepare both of your hearts to be humble and to desire Christ to be glorified by having this conversation.

Get private. Find a secluded place to protect privacy either in a separate room at church or their home. Humbly acknowledge that you yourself have blind spots and need help to see. Let them know you love them and desire for them to grow in the grace of the Lord and then tell them what is on your heart. Encourage them in living out the gospel.

Pray for God’s Spirit to work. Ask the Lord to do the work of convicting in the heart of the believer for change. We fulfill our responsibility as his servants, but God does the spiritual work in his timing and we cannot make the changes for we are not the Holy Spirit.

Now how should we respond to the rebuke.

Take a breath. Rarely is a rebuke something that you expect. It comes out of nowhere and can set us back a few steps. While your mind may be whirling, and the temperature may be rising by the second, be careful how you respond. It is easy to lash out and say things out of anger than we will regret later.

A rebuke is not condemnation. Although hearing a rebuke may leave you horrified, remember how difficult it must have been for the one who loves you. Their word was given to save you from real serious harm, not to make a name for themselves. It was for our good.

Pray for a tender heart. After you have been rebuked by a brother/sister the sinful nature will want to put up walls and defend yourself. We will want to justify ourselves. Ask God to reveal to your heart what has been exposed. It is a divine work of God’s grace to be humble and accept the rebuke.

Be wise. Apply the knowledge of the Lord to turn from evil to what is good. Out of reverence for Christ in living out the gospel, take what has been brought to light and make the necessary changes. Make restitution with whoever you have offended by the power of the Spirit.

Be thankful! Thank God for a loving family that cares deeply for one another in seeing us become more like Jesus. Thank the one who came to you. Ask forgiveness if you said or thought evil of them for rebuking you.

Do you know Jesus as your Saviour? If you turn from sin and look into the precious face of Jesus, you will be truly wise in your trusting Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. If you reject Jesus, a hundred blows will not satisfy the wrath of God for your sins. The very next proverb 11:11 states “An evil man seeks only rebellion, and a cruel messenger will be sent against him.” The Lord God Almighty is Judge and Jury in perfect wisdom. Hell is hotter than you can ever imagine and it is eternal. On the other hand, God is merciful and loving and sent his Son Jesus to die on the cross for your sins. God offers Jesus as your substitute in paying the price that you could not. To turn to Jesus, heaven is more glorious than you can ever imagine and is offered as a gift. Choose today who you will serve. King Jesus or Satan. One grants eternal life and the other leaves you in eternal damnation.

I am thankful to God, because I have seen in this body positive changes that have resulted from loving words. They may have been painful to hear at first but the fruit of our repentance is a sweet fragrance to our God!

Conclusion: A single rebuke penetrates deeply into the heart of the wise where a hundred blows into a fool leave him laughing and rebelling to his demise. Think about Pharaoh. Even though he was given plenty of warnings, he refused to let God’s people go and it cost him unimaginable hardship. On the other hand, David heard Nathan give a short illustration about a sheep that was taken by a rich man. David was incensed at such evil. Then in 4 short words Nathan replies “Thou art that man.” and he crumbled and wept and was forgiven. Let us be wise and accept a loving rebuke to the glory and praise of our good Father, our loving Saviour Jesus Christ, and the Spirit who lives in us to convict and comfort.

Do you know Jesus as your Saviour? If you turn from sin and look into the precious face of Jesus, you will be truly wise in your trusting Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. If you reject Jesus, a hundred blows will not satisfy the wrath of God for your sins. The very next proverb 11:11 states “An evil man seeks only rebellion, and a cruel messenger will be sent against him.” The Lord God Almighty is Judge and Jury in perfect wisdom. Hell is hotter than you can ever imagine and it is eternal. On the other hand, God is merciful and loving and sent his Son Jesus to die on the cross for your sins. God offers Jesus as your substitute in paying the price that you could not. To turn to Jesus, heaven is more glorious than you can ever imagine and is offered as a gift. Be wise today and choose Christ.

Are you here today and have a heart like Pharaoh who has not trusted in Jesus as your Saviour? Do you think you are good on your own merit and refuse to bow to the King of kings? If you refuse to change from your ways, you remain guilty before God. His righteous wrath is burning hot against you even now. But Jesus is right now sitting on the throne of mercy. If you humble yourself like David, fall at the feet of the cross and plead for mercy, he promises to clear your debt of sin and wash you whiter than snow. As God delights in Jesus, he now delights in you. What a good Father we have.

Do you know Jesus as your Saviour? If you turn from sin and look into the precious face of Jesus, you will be truly wise in your trusting Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. If you reject Jesus, a hundred blows will not satisfy the wrath of God for your sins. The very next proverb 11:11 states “An evil man seeks only rebellion, and a cruel messenger will be sent against him.” The Lord God Almighty is Judge and Jury in perfect wisdom. Hell is hotter than you can ever imagine and it is eternal. On the other hand, God is merciful and loving and sent his Son Jesus to die on the cross for your sins. God offers Jesus as your substitute in paying the price that you could not. To turn to Jesus, heaven is more glorious than you can ever imagine and is offered as a gift. Choose today who you will serve. King Jesus or Satan. One grants eternal life and the other leaves you in eternal damnation.

Pause for reflection.

(Open lids) As we go to communion, this is a holy time to remember what the Lord Jesus has done for us in saving us from the debt of sin we cannot pay. His body broken that we deserved, his blood poured out as a sacrifice to perfectly atone for our sin. This Lord’s Supper is only for those who are unified to Christ by faith in him. If you have rejected his mercy, let the cup and bread pass before you, but think carefully what is passing by.

Pause for reflection.

[23] For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, [24] and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.”

[23] For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, [24] and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” [25] In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” [26] For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes. (ESV)

[25] In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” [26] For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes. (ESV)

Loving Words for Change.

Loving Words for Change.

For anyone who has tried to free a rusty nut it can be very frustrating. No matter how hard you try to twist it off, it won’t budge. It is stubborn and unwilling to move. But when you apply heat in order to expand the metal, most times it will move a lot easier.

Point #1 - The Effect of the Rebuke.

Point #2 - The Difficulty of the Rebuke.

Point #3 - The Wisdom of the Rebuke.