Fudge 3 -- Social Norms
Fudge Factors • Sermon • Submitted
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In this series, called Fudge Factors, we are considering the truth about lies… and the factors that shape and influence our tendency and temptations to be dishonest.
In this series, called Fudge Factors, we are considering the truth about lies… and the factors that shape and influence our tendency and temptations to be dishonest.
A fudge factor is a place we misbehave but are still able to see ourselves as basically good people.
Two weeks ago we considered the fudge factor of doing what others do… last week we spent time with the fudge factor of conflict of interest...
Today we look at the fudge factor of SOCIAL NORMS.
Today we look at the fudge factor of SOCIAL NORMS.
In just a moment I’m going to show you a clip on how social norms shapes our fudge factors, but before I show you that clip and Dr. Ariely’s research, I want to offer a quick introduction to the Biblical character of focus this morning: SAMSON.
Samson’s Social Norm — He was a Nazarite.
Samson’s Social Norm — He was a Nazarite.
is where Samson’s story is found.
5 for behold, you shall conceive and bear a son. No razor shall come upon his head, for the child shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb, and he shall begin to save Israel from the hand of the Philistines.”
7 but he said to me, ‘Behold, you shall conceive and bear a son. So then drink no wine or strong drink, and eat nothing unclean, for the child shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb to the day of his death.’ ”
The Nazarite Vow included three core components found in if you want to check it out.
The desire was to separate themselves to the Lord by:
Shall not drink wine nor strong drink.
No razor shall touch their head.
Shall not go near any dead body — animal or person.
As a Nazarite, these were Samson’s vows — these were Samson’s SOCIAL NORMS. After the clip, we will consider how social norms effected Samson’s life… and how they effect our own.
As a Nazarite, these were Samson’s vows — these were Samson’s SOCIAL NORMS. After the clip, we will consider how social norms effected Samson’s life… and how they effect our own.
SOCIAL NORMS CLIP — Dishonesty
SOCIAL NORMS CLIP — Dishonesty
The social norm conflict in Erika’s story isn’t unusual or unique.
The social norm conflict in Erika’s story isn’t unusual or unique.
The pressures and isolations of her life converge… her husband is busy, absent, distant, and not vigilant...
So… she goes to her Mom and says “I think I’m going to find someone else...”
Her Dad… friend… best friend… teammate… neighbor...
They are all going to offer the social norm — “don’t do it.”
So, she heads to a different Social… and finds a new norm.
“Life is short. Have an affair.”
Noel Biderman — founder, and former CEO — believes Ashley Madison — which is free for women and $49 per month for men — actually helps strengthen marriages.
When our social norms shift… it increases our tendency toward cheating and dishonesty.
When our social norms shift… it increases our tendency toward cheating and dishonesty.
We return now to the story of our Nazarite, Samson.
We return now to the story of our Nazarite, Samson.
Remember:
No touching dead bodies
No drinking wine
No cutting the hair
Story of the killing of the lion… and getting the honey
8 After some days he returned to take her. And he turned aside to see the carcass of the lion, and behold, there was a swarm of bees in the body of the lion, and honey. 9 He scraped it out into his hands and went on, eating as he went. And he came to his father and mother and gave some to them, and they ate. But he did not tell them that he had scraped the honey from the carcass of the lion.
Dishonesty by omission.
If he had said to his folks “know where I got the honey” they would have said.....? Right. So he bucks the social norm and says nothing.
Did he drink wine?
10 His father went down to the woman, and Samson prepared a feast there, for so the young men used to do. 11 As soon as the people saw him, they brought thirty companions to be with him.
Some interpret this as a bachelor party that would undoubtedly have included drinking strong drink — but it doesn’t say that directly.
What we do know, directly, is that his hair was cut at the hands of Delilah.
What we do know, directly, is that his hair was cut at the hands of Delilah.
Lie 1 to Delilah — “bind me with 7 fresh bow strings”
Lie 2 to Delilah — “bind me with new ropes never used”
Lie 3 to Delilah — “weave the seven locks of my head with the web and fasten it tight with the pin...”
15 And she said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me these three times, and you have not told me where your great strength lies.” 16 And when she pressed him hard with her words day after day, and urged him, his soul was vexed to death. 17 And he told her all his heart, and said to her, “A razor has never come upon my head, for I have been a Nazirite to God from my mother’s womb. If my head is shaved, then my strength will leave me, and I shall become weak and be like any other man.”
Notice how on the inside of you, you are cringing that he told the truth…?
Judges 16:
19 She made him sleep on her knees. And she called a man and had him shave off the seven locks of his head. Then she began to torment him, and his strength left him. 20 And she said, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” And he awoke from his sleep and said, “I will go out as at other times and shake myself free.” But he did not know that the Lord had left him.
Kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Darkness
Kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Darkness
FLESH/LAW… SPIRIT/LIFE
8 and
“A stone of stumbling,
and a rock of offense.”
They stumble because they disobey the word, as they were destined to do.
9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
11 Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. 12 Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.
Walking and working by the SOCIAL NORMS of the flesh and the law...
9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
11 Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. 12 Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.
Galatians 5:16-
16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Walking and working by the SOCIAL NORMS of SPIRIT/LIFE:
GALATIANS 5:22-
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
SBC and EFCA — social norms
