Repent or Perish

What do you think of THEM?!

our passage begins abruptly with Jesus being put on the spot. He is being asked to say something about an event we know very little about, but sounds horrific. Apparently a group of galileans were put to death by PIlate and their blood mixed with the sacrifices being offered.

This is a guess but it sounds like a group of rebellious Jews from Galilee were caught in the act of rebellion against the Romans and were summarily executed in the Temple. The temple of course would be where there Jewish sacrifices were made. Their sacrifices were a very bloody affair. thousands of Gallons of water were carried daily into the temple courts to wash away the blood, which flowed through channels dug into the floor. Blood was a big part of the worship, the spectacle, the prayer life of the Jews. And here it was, perhaps, that Pilate took some rebels and executed, thus mixing their blood. At the same time as doing that he would have defiled the sacrifices made in the temple that day and perhaps the whole temple itself. Menstruating women were not allowed near the temple, how much worse would it have been for the blood from a freshly executed Jew to flow down those channels in the floor of the most holy place in all Judaism? It would have been shocking. Perhaps as well the Jews of the day would have questioned not just Pilate and his actions, but the folly of the Jews who were caught and the blame laid on THEM for the defiling of the temple.

And so they ask Jesus about them. And Jesus quickly, as he often does, side steps the question! don’t worry about them, worry about yourselves!

Today we are thinking about sin and repentance. Now this ought to be an easy thing for us to think about. We are christians. At the very core of what we believe is the idea that we are sinners and that Jesus died for our sins. We believe that to be a Christian is to simply ask forgiveness of our sins, or in other words, to repent. To be baptised. And to continue to say sorry to God for those times we then fail again. So to talk about sin and repentance really ought to be like walking into a footballers dressing room and talk about kicking a ball into a goal.

Easy.

No.

The ideas of what exactly is a sin and what exactly require repentance is fraught today as ever it has been. If I am to suggest to you that one thing is a sin and another thing is not I suspect I will have half the congregation cheering me and half wanting to mix my blood with the wine in the communion cup!

Let me give you some examples …

LGBT rights … marriage … sex.

Transgender children.

Transgender Adults!

Gambling

Tithing money - 10% to the church? 5% to the church and 5% to oversees mission? 2% to the church? whatever is in my pocket … if the plate comes near … or can I nip to the loo in this hymn?

voting - tory, labour, lib dem, green or monster raving looney?

BREXIT!

Sex before marriage.

Porn

Driving a diesel car

flying …on 3 long haul journeys a year

eating meat!

The list goes on and on … Which of those would you like your preachers to give clear guidance to you on? I would guess … absolutely NONE of the above. Because as soon as we say anything we are either for you or against you. We are either bigots or heroes. And on one topic we might be your hero for speaking out, while on the next topic we might be pointing our finger right at YOU! It is best these days if preachers stay well away from anything requiring a moral decision. In other words … do not talk about sin!

Oh except other people’s sin. That’s ok!

And that’s where we find our passage today starting off. Hey Jesus … what do you think of THEM?!

And Jesus says … dont worry about them … worry about yourselves.

let me tell you a little more of my story.

I was in a horrible marriage for 16 years. Within the first year of being married I found myself having to write letters and make phone calls to the people I loved the most in all the world, my parents, my sisters, my best friends, to tell them I couldn’t be in contact any more. It was one of those classic isolation / control types of domestic abuse. And for whatever reason I found myself powerless in its grasp. Whatever my wife demanded I had to do. And yet, at the same time I was training to be a vicar. So I began to live this double life. A public persona where everything was great and a private life where my very essence was being crushed on a daily basis. After 16 years (I’m skipping a lot here), I had started finally to stand up to her. She didn’t like that at all. She started an affair. I’ll leave the details for another time. Suffice to say … she did an awful lot which was objectively very wrong. Very very wrong, over a very sustained length of time. Now, I’m absolutely sure of the fact that I did not behave impeccably either. No one would. I tried. Oh I tried very hard, but I know I failed … on lots of occasions. But I didn’t do half the things she did. And anything I did do wrong was with good reason and entirely justifiably so given the circumstances. I was the victim. And genuinely, I was in fact the victim of sustained domestic abuse and it has left its scars on me to this day. her behaviour though was so unquestionably wrong that the courts gave me immediate custody of our children and the children themselves wanted nothing or very little to do with her. Things have calmed down now and the kids see her, in fact they’re away on holiday with her right now. But it is the reason why I ask not to have my name going online ever when I preach. I just want to be safe and live a quiet life, especially now I have the very very wonderful Paula as my wife who is an absolute gift from God.

Now I’m telling you this because of something which happened in the immediate aftermath of my ex wife running off with another man. My life just fell apart. I was in the worst way a man can be. The Church of England put me in touch with an expert counsellor. She was absolutely top of the field. She headed up the academic training courses in three universities. She was in charge of the counselling support for violent domestic abusers for Relate. She knew her onions, and she gave one day a month for free to provide support to clergy who needed it. I really needed it.

on the first session she asked me my story. I told her. Through much crying. I told her everything that had happened. Most of it you wouldn’t believe if I told you. But she listened. I felt better.

So I skipped along, metaphorically, to the second session a week or two later. I was looking forward to it. Only this time she didn’t want to hear all the tales of everything my ex wife had done wrong, even though I was raring to go and tell her even more awful stories. No. this time she said to me with a smile - so then Evan - you’ve told me all about what your wife did. Now tell me about what you did. What did you do wrong to her?

I was so so angry. That wasn’t much of a surprise because I was battling an all consuming anger at the time anyway. I thought this woman was on my side. I thought she was there to help me. But no, she was now blaming me. BLAMING ME? for my ex wife’s actions. How did she not udnerstand? I’d told her all my ex wife’s faults. it was pretty obvious who was to blame. And it wasn’t me! I was the victim.

She knew I was in a bad way. She knew I was angry. She asked me if I was ok. I think I was actually shaking with anger. Genuinely. I was not ok. I was the least Ok I’d ever been. This stupid woman (forgive the phrase - I’m trying to convey how I felt in that moment) was totally out of order for suggesting that I’d done anything wrong at all.

Somehow, I don’t know how. Only by God’s grace I think, I finished the session with her. I then resented her completely for the next two weeks and thought of every excuse why I wouldn’t be able to go to the next session. But I went. By God’s grace I went. and I kept going. for about 18 months. In that time I learnt something vitally important. ...

I learnt to forgive MYSELF

but to forgive myself I first had to admit I needed forgiving.

And to admit I needed forgiving I had to admit I had done wrong.

To admit I had done wrong was to admit that I was part of the problem. Not just the victim.

And there is the art of repentance. It is to admit to oneself that you are wrong. Quite apart from the wrong of other people around you, some of whom might be absolutely awful people. Ignore them. They’re not your concern. as Jesus says … WHAT ABOUT … YOU!?