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This is not to say that for such individuals there is no hope for rehabilitation, reconciliation, recovery, or recuperation.  But empathy alone will never promote the self-organization necessary for learning from experience; that can only come about when they are put into a position of choice in which they are told that if they want to be part of the community, they have to adapt to it, and not the other way about.  I recognize that this approach could sound totalitarian; the emphasis here, however, is not on conformity of thought but on conformity of behavior to the democratic process.  It is in that sense that promoting in others the initiative to be accountable is far more critical to the health of an institution than trying to be understanding or give insight.

A Failure of Nerve – Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, Edwin H. Friedman, pages 189, 190