Friend Sunday

People matter. If you want to have good friendships, you will spend time developing those friendships. If you don’t do this, you will be a lonely person.

Establishing good friendships requires developing openness in relationships.

Friends might be introvert, extravert, etc, but the one thing they have in common is openness or transparency. To have good friendships, you have to let people know you – to take of the masks…

Establishing good friendships requires having genuine affection for others.

Don’t be afraid of emotion. Let people know you care about them.

Establishing good friendships requires sharing experiences with others.

We give you a chance to serve together, eat together, worship together… friendships are built by doing things together.

Establishing good friendships requires giving and receiving loyalty.

A good way to make friends is to show compassion to others.

Being compassionate to others helps develop friends.

IOW, when we show kindness to people, they like us and it can lead to a great friendship.

Someone said,

I went out to find a friend and could not find one anywhere. I went out to be a friend and found friends everywhere.

I have found this to be true. When I am a friend, I find friends.

Kindness is a godly attribute that good friends show in their lives.

Most of us have been unkind at some point in our lives… maybe too often.

Joke - Boy to his mom – “That sweater reminds me of the Wheel of Fortune… Are you saying I look like Vana White… no, you remind me of the wheel. Unkind to short or tall people… Lady to a man, “Your so tall, I bet you play basketball… You’re so short, I bet you play miniature golf.

Colossians 3:12 NIV

12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

We need to clothe ourselves with compassion because God tells us to and people in our lives need us to. When we do this, it lifts us to a new level in our walk with God.

A great example in the Bible is David.

2 Samuel 9:1–7 NLT

1 One day David asked, “Is anyone in Saul’s family still alive—anyone to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?” 2 He summoned a man named Ziba, who had been one of Saul’s servants. “Are you Ziba?” the king asked. “Yes sir, I am,” Ziba replied. 3 The king then asked him, “Is anyone still alive from Saul’s family? If so, I want to show God’s kindness to them.” Ziba replied, “Yes, one of Jonathan’s sons is still alive. He is crippled in both feet.” 4 “Where is he?” the king asked. “In Lo-debar,” Ziba told him, “at the home of Makir son of Ammiel.” 5 So David sent for him and brought him from Makir’s home. 6 His name was Mephibosheth; he was Jonathan’s son and Saul’s grandson. When he came to David, he bowed low to the ground in deep respect. David said, “Greetings, Mephibosheth.” Mephibosheth replied, “I am your servant.” 7 “Don’t be afraid!” David said. “I intend to show kindness to you because of my promise to your father, Jonathan. I will give you all the property that once belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will eat here with me at the king’s table!”

When David asked this, his people probably thought he was about to finish off Saul’s family. that’s what happened then in this area and now… But David shocked them by wanting to show kindness to Saul’s descendants.

Kindness - mercy or grace

chesed - mercy, grace, loving kindness

This refers to the grace we experience from God. The kind Paul talked about in EPH…

Ephesians 2:7–8 NLT

7 So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus. 8 God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.

David didn’t want to just be nice, he wanted to show the same grace and mercy the Lord shows. When we are willing to show grace ands mercy to others we are being like the Lord… like Jesus.

To be compassionate towards others requires us to connect with hurting people.

2 Samuel 9:1 NLT

1 One day David asked, “Is anyone in Saul’s family still alive—anyone to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?”

Hurting people have experienced bad stuff in their lives.

Mephibosheth and his family had been through hard times. His grandfather Saul and his dad Jonathan had been killed. Then his uncle Ishbosheth was killed and now his grandfather’s enemy was the new king and in those days, that meant you usually died.

I’m sure many of you have had bad times in your lives. Loss – death / divorce / job loss / illness / etc. And if you haven’t, you know some who have.

Also, If Mephibosheth’s family had been leading the kingdom; they would not have been kind to David. David knew that, but he still wanted to show the mercy of God to Mephibosheth. Just like Daivd….

We should show kindness to those who probably would not show kindness to us.

Hurting people have experienced brokenness in their lives.

2 Samuel 9:3 NLT

3 The king then asked him, “Is anyone still alive from Saul’s family? If so, I want to show God’s kindness to them.” Ziba replied, “Yes, one of Jonathan’s sons is still alive. He is crippled in both feet.”

Mephibosheth was crippled because his nurse who was running with him dropped him.

Lot’s of people have been hurt and crippled physically, emotionally, financially or relationally by the bad choices of other people. Some have been crippled by the choices they made themselves as well.

God says...

Isaiah 57:18 NLT

18 I have seen what they do, but I will heal them anyway! I will lead them. I will comfort those who mourn,

Hurting people have experienced emptiness in their lives.

2 Samuel 9:4 NLT

4 “Where is he?” the king asked. “In Lo-debar,” Ziba told him, “at the home of Makir son of Ammiel.”

Lo-debar - place of emptiness. barren, … The grandson of a king was in a desolate and empty place.

We all know people like that today… or maybe we feel that way.

Billy Graham, “There are 5 things that are psychological & spiritual needs in every person & one of those is an essential emptiness in every life without Jesus Christ”

Tolstoy - “There is a God-shaped vacuum in every life that only God can fill”

There are a lot of people today that are living empty lives and are looking everywhere but the Lord to fill that emptiness. Apart from Jesus there is not fulfillment… no peace… no joy… Jesus is the only one who can meet all the needs in our lives.

I have heard so many people say … something is missing. It’s like a piece is missing. When they meet Jesus, the empty place is filled up.

If you feel like there is a vacuum in your life, only Jesus can fill that.

John 10:10 NLT

10 The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.

If you are struggling with emptiness, hopelessness, strongholds… in your life, there is help and there is hope for you this morning.

We have to be more aware of the needs of people around us

Philippians 2:4 NLT

4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

I don’t know of anyone who would not benefit from or be grateful for our compassion.

To be compassionate towards others requires us to care for hurting people.

We care for other people by spending time with them.

2 Samuel 9:5 NLT

5 So David sent for him and brought him from Makir’s home.

David was proactive and sent for Mephibosheth.

We need to make the initial attempts to connect with hurting people instead of waiting for them to come to us.

Have you ever thought about where we can find hurting people? schools, prisons, homeless, neighborhoods, playgrounds, your home… Hurting people are all over the place… all around us.

Have you ever thought about how God will help?

Teen girl praying, “Lord touch me. I just want to feel your touch.” At that moment she felt a light touch on her shoulder, confirming that the Lord was there for her. After praying, she looked up & her big sister was there. “Did you touch me?” she asked suspiciously. “I sure did,” the big sister said. Feeling let down, the younger sister asked, “Why did you touch me when I was praying?” The big sister replied, “Because the Lord told me to do so.”

That’s how God does it… through other people. That’s why it’s important for us to look for hurting people.... Jesus did.

We care for other people by encouraging them.

2 Samuel 9:6–7 NLT

6 His name was Mephibosheth; he was Jonathan’s son and Saul’s grandson. When he came to David, he bowed low to the ground in deep respect. David said, “Greetings, Mephibosheth.” Mephibosheth replied, “I am your servant.” 7 “Don’t be afraid!” David said. “I intend to show kindness to you because of my promise to your father, Jonathan. I will give you all the property that once belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will eat here with me at the king’s table!”

David was being kind to him. He did not tear him down or try to hurt him… he built him up.

We need to build people up and never tear them down.

Proverbs 15:4 TEV

4 Kind words bring life, but cruel words crush your spirit.

Proverbs 10:32 NLT

32 The lips of the godly speak helpful words, but the mouth of the wicked speaks perverse words.

People who put you down are not your friends. If they will put down others, they will put you down.

We care for people by helping them.

2 Samuel 9:7 NLT

7 “Don’t be afraid!” David said. “I intend to show kindness to you because of my promise to your father, Jonathan. I will give you all the property that once belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will eat here with me at the king’s table!”

David wanted to help Mephibosheth. He knew that when we help other people, the Lord will help us.

Some of you here today have such great void & vacuums in your lives. Perhaps you have a financial void / vocational void / relational void . . . If you will focus on helping others, I promise you that God will begin moving on your behalf to help you.

We care for people by being their friend.

2 Samuel 9:11 NLT

11 Ziba replied, “Yes, my lord the king; I am your servant, and I will do all that you have commanded.” And from that time on, Mephibosheth ate regularly at David’s table, like one of the king’s own sons.

By the grace of king David, Mephibosheth was restored from a nobody to a somebody. It’s the same thing the Lord does for us when we turn to him and put him first in our lives… great example of compassion.

Compassion is an amazing thing. It helps someone get a whole new perspective.” Carrie Underwood in Soul Surfer

Some of you maybe need to get a new perspective today. You need to change the focus from yourself to others. When you do this, it will change your life...

One more thing...

Why should we show kindness to others?

God is kind to us.

Ephesians 2:8 NLT

8 God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.

How many of you have experienced God’s kindness, mercy, grace?

Titus 3:4–5 NLT

4 But—When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, 5 he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit.

2. We want others to be kind to us.

Matthew 7:12 NLT

12 “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.

Proverbs 21:21 TEV

21 Be kind and honest and you will live a long life; others will respect you and treat you fairly.

Galatians 6:7 NKJV

7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.

3. We want to be better people.

Proverbs 11:17 The Living Bible

17 Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.

4. We want to be blessed by the Lord.

Matthew 25:34–40 NLT

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. 36 I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ 37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’

Jesus said at the end of our time when we stand before God, we will be judged by whether we knew him or not and by how we treated others.

I think we would see more of our FRAN come to faith in Christ if we would be kinder to people on a daily basis.

Woman came to a Pastor – “I have become a Christian because of you.” Pastors want to know whether or not their preaching is effective – “What sermon was it? Which sermon touched your heart? / passage was it that I preached that made you want to give your life to the Lord?”

“It was not what you preached, but several times I saw you showing kindness to others. 1 time a woman was speaking to you angrily, and you treated her with great kindness. Another time a homeless person came in & you helped them. Your attentiveness & actions made me see that Christianity is real, & that I needed what you have.”

“Who do I need to show kindness to this coming week, and in what ways can I demonstrate kindness to them?”

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