Pastoral Care After Reporting: Reporting Isn't a Hand Off

It would be easy for us to think once we get the person being abused with a social worker, counselor, and/or, law enforcement officer, our job is done.

The truth is, it’s just beginning.

As ministry leaders, we all where a lot of different hats, so it’s easy to let a person whom we’ve worked with, slip through the cracks once we’ve gotten them to the proper care.

It’s also easy for us to think that “pastoral care” means this is the pastor’s responsibility.

We need to step beside whoever our pastor is and work along side him, taking some of these responsibilities off his plate when it comes to caring for the abused.

This isn’t only his ministry field, but it’s the church’s.

As a ministry leader as well, we will need to look to others to help us as we continue to minister.

When we make a referral to a professional who will fit with the abused person well, what have we done?

We’ve added another person to the care team to help us provide what the person is in need of.

“Help us” are two HUGE words in the previous sentence.

In this lesson, we are going to talk about four areas where mainly the church, and the ministry leader can help the abused person continue to walk through this dark path of their lives.

Social Support

Counseling Advocate

Deacon Care

Pastoral Guidance

Social Support

When the abused person begins this journey of admitting and reporting, it will more than likely have an impact on their social circle.

They may feel they have no one they can trust or turn to.

An easy question to ask the abused person is, “Who in our church do you trust enough that you would like them to intentionally walk with you during this time?”

This question is huge. It will have amazing benefits in the future for the proper care for this person.

It will ultimately create a team of people who can work together to see to the social needs of this person.

With this team the pastor can:

Ask each person if they would be willing to serve on a care team for an abused member.

If yes, update those individuals on the situation and what has been done to this point.

Explain the team’s primary functions.

Identify the member of the team who will serve as the liaison with the pastors and deacons.

The functions of a care team are:

Encourage and assist the individual to take care of themselves

sleep, eating habits, spiritual disciplines, not isolating, exercise, or engaging personal interests to help them maintain endurance.

Provide an emotional outlet.

If they feel like all conversations about their life are about what they need to do and decisions which need to be made, they will begin to feel like they are a problem who needs to find a solution.

They will feel they are a burden.

Sometimes, they will need to vent and just have the person shut the one hole God gave them and listen two others they have.

Any questions that come up that the person might not be able to answer during one of these moments, may need to be referred to the pastor our counselor.

Including the person in their life rhythms can alleviate large spaces of empty time.

Support the individual through prayer.

Assist with or communicate service needs to the church’s deacons.

Communicate guidance needs to the pastor or ministry leader overseeing the care team.

Video - 5:09 (two speakers)

What are the best practices that a church can do to take care of a victim of abuse after necessary reporting or decision about pressing charges?

Counseling Advocate

This is a peer-based relationship.

A friend, mentor, encourager, who will attend counseling sessions periodically.

They provide support and reinforcement.

They can also provide accountability after counseling is over.

Not all counselors are open to someone providing this service.

Not all victims will be either.

When possible, this person can provide a bridge between the counselor and the ministry the church is trying to provide to the victim.

Video - 12:31 - (two speakers)

What are the benefits you have seen from intentional friends who help coordinate the various care efforts within a local church and counseling?

Deacon Care

When looking at , God raises a ministry group within the church to help with a group of people who were in family crisis, widows. This ministry group are the deacons of the church.

What are events which may cause an abuse victim to return to the abuser?

Something breaks, and they don’t know how to fix it.

Both children have events on the same day at the same time. Someone needs to be there to transport one.

Can’t manage to keep up all the household chores that need to be done.

This allows the abuser to work his way back into the house and life of the abused.

It also gives him opportunity to make it look like the abused was setting him up.

“We thought you didn’t feel safe with him,” will also be asked by those who are working with the case.

These events are great opportunities for the deacons, or someone the deacons know, to step up and help in each one of these situations.

Pastoral Guidance

With these roles taken care of, you may ask what is left for the pastor or the ministry leader to do. Here a few things.

Prayer

The victim will need an immense amount of prayer. Not just adding them to your prayer list, but a time of when you come and pray with them face-to-face.

Shepherd Through Suffering

Doing the right or wise thing doesn’t always have immediate pleasant outcomes.

The person can become discouraged, cynical, and confused by all this.

Having a pastor or ministry leader who is willing to shepherd them through these instances will help immensely.

Wrestle with them through difficult moral decisions

Once again, decisions being made may not have immediate pleasant outcomes. There may be no option that seems good.

Offer advice, but leave the decision to the victim.

If not careful, you can end up taking over the decision making role instead of encouraging the person to start making themselves heard.

We need to take on the responsibility of helping the victim regain their voice.

Coordinate care

The deacons and care team need a touch point for questions that they may be asked.

Oversee church discipline

If the abuser is a church member, after the post-legal-report phase, a lot of time and energy will need to be given the proceedings which will need to be taken in form of church discipline.

With the other areas taken care of, this will allow the pastor or ministry leader to have more time devoted to this.

Please remember, the ultimate goal in the church discipline process is restoration of the one under the discipline.

With this being said, we need to remember what has happened to the victim. The abuser needs to understand our support through this process will always be with the victim who is grieving in so many ways.

We need to make sure the victim feels our love and support through out this entire process.

They need to feel safe and secure with their church family.

Video - 21:13 (five speakers)

If you could give one word of instruction or encouragement to pastors and ministry leaders about the post-legal-report phase of care, what would you want them to know?

As we continue to go through these lessons, there will be a lot of things we can’t know the answers to. All we can do is support the victim, pray for the abuser, and look to God to help us to care well for the abused we are working with.