A Study in the Life of David

Can you remember the name of your first best friend?

What makes a good friend?

What makes a bad friend?

In his book, Borrowed Vessels, Pastor Gary Brothers writes on the importance of relationships. He explains, “Our resource is in our relationship.” The old adage says it this way, “Its not what you know, its who you know.”

Life is made of relationships. At our birth we have a relationship with our parents. If siblings are in the mix, there are more relationships. When we go to school, we develop relationships with classmates. Eventually we get in a relationship with “the one” and we get married.

Relationship is defined, the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

Because relationships are inevitable, we need pray for Godly relationships. As we determine to live for the Lord, He will place the right people in our lives at the right time and in the right place.

Our resource is in our relationship. God gave His church and His body for His people to create relationships.

What resources do we have in Godly relationships?

Background

After David defeated Goliath, he went from an unknown citizen to a household name. Everyone heard about the boy who defeated Israel’s fiercest adversary. It would be easy to assume that David would immediately become king, but God had more lessons to teach him.

Story

At this point in David formed four different relationships that were vital in his spiritual development.

David’s relationship with Jonathan

In the natural, the friendship between David and Jonathan should not have happened. David was anointed by God to be the next king and Jonathan was the son of the current king.

Jonathan was in line to be king. Future kings were not elected, their position was inherited. However God gave David and Jonathan a closeness that was pivotal for David’s survival.

The king’s son took off his robe, armor, sword, bow, and belt and placed it on David. His symbolic act shows his submission to the anointing that was on David’s life.

Together they made a covenant. A covenant is different from a contract. In a contract the terms of the agreement are explained. In a covenant, an oath is made that cannot be revoked.

Contracts can be broken, covenants cannot.

:contracts are limited by the terms of the exchange of property (“this is yours, that is mine”), while covenants involve an exchange of life (“I am yours, you are mine”), which covers a virtually unlimited range of human relations and duties. In terms of motivation, contracts are based on profit and self-interest, while covenants call for self-giving loyalty and sacrificial love. Contracts are temporary while covenant bonds are permanent, even intergenerational.

“In application, contracts are limited by the terms of the exchange of property (“this is yours, that is mine”), while covenants involve an exchange of life (“I am yours, you are mine”), which covers a virtually unlimited range of human relations and duties. In terms of motivation, contracts are based on profit and self-interest, while covenants call for self-giving loyalty and sacrificial love. Contracts are temporary while covenant bonds are permanent, even intergenerational.”

David and Jonathan entered a covenant before God to help each other, pray for each other, and support each other. Their friendship is the essence of a Godly relationship.

David’s popularity in Israel

1 Samuel 18:7 NKJV

7 So the women sang as they danced, and said: “Saul has slain his thousands, And David his ten thousands.”

8

Everyone celebrated David’s defeat of Goliath. In ancient times there was a war processional when the army was successful in battle. First the captives would walk. Then the spoils of war would be displayed. Then the army would proceed. Then finally the king would come and everyone would celebrate.

King Saul expected the people would sing about him. As he listened closer, he realized they were singing about David. They minimized Saul’s accomplishments, while magnifying what David did.

How could David have usurped Saul’s authority?

Why didn’t David take advantage of the situation?

David’s submission to Saul

5

Even though David was a mighty warrior, he stayed faithful to the king of Israel. Saul would not let David return home. He placed him as a captain over the army. From the outside this seems like a promotion, but Saul was manipulative. He placed David in this position knowing it may kill him.

Everyone was impressed with David. The men of war accepted his leadership and Israel continued to be successful in battle.

Once again David was back in the spot of playing for Saul. We see an opposing picture, that of one who was anointed and what who was not. Saul became gripped with jealousy and tried to kill David, not once but twice.

What causes people to become jealous?

Why is jealousy damaging for relationships?

Saul attempted to have David killed again by making him captain over not a small part of the army, but over a thousand. Verse fourteen tells us David behaved wisely, which is repeated four times in this chapter.

Saul became more jealous because everyone celebrated David and loved him more than Saul. Yet David did not take advantage of this situation. He remained humble.

David’s marriage to Saul’s Daughter?

What was the reward for killing Goliath?

;

Part of killing Goliath meant that David would marry the king’s daughter. Saul used this to trap David. He promised David he could have his daughter Merab if he would fight against the Philistines.

Evidently Merab was worth going into battle. Saul hoped the battle would kill David. If David died then his problems were answered. While David was in battle Saul conspired to marry Merab off to a man named Ariel.

This was a political move, which Saul hoped would bring peace to Israel. When Merab married off, Michal, Saul’s daughter, confessed her love for David to her father.

Michal was the worst candidate to marry anyone, let alone David. She was manipulative. She worshipped idols. She was not loyal. Saul knew this and decided to use Michal as a tool to ruin David.

Saul sent word to David to bring 100 foreskins of the Philistines as a dowry for to marry his daughter. Perhaps Saul viewed this as an impossible task, but David brought them, not killing 100, but 200 men.

When David returned home he found that Merab was gone and he married Michal. Saul hoped this would harm David in the long run and get him out of his way.

What do Saul’s actions tell us about his character?

Application

David’s various relationships show us what to do and what not do in relationships. Gary Brothers provides four traits that are invaluable in Godly relationships: Be real, be relatable, be a person of trust, and be wise in relationships.

Let’s discuss these characteristics:

What does it mean to be real in relationships?

How can we be relatable with others?

Why is trust a necessity in building Godly relationships?

How can we be wise in our relationships?

It is God’s design for us to grow in Godly relationships. We were created for connection. When we isolate ourselves we become vulnerable to the attacks of the enemy. In our relationships we are responsible for ourselves.

Hopefully we will all have friends like Jonathan. Sadly we often work for people like Saul and have people like Michal seeking us. Regardless of the relationships, David remained constant. David remained loyal to Jonathan. He did not let the praise of Israel go to his head. He faithfully served Saul and Michal.

We must make sure that we are faithful in our part of the relationship. We need to be the friend we want. We need to be the employee we would want. We need to be the spouse we want.

Why is it important to build GODLY relationships?

Challenge

Ask God to help you in your relationships.

Pray for His help to become the friend, spouse, or employee that we would want.

Think of ways to encourage the friends we have in our lives.

Pray for those we are in relationship with this week.

Read 1 Samuel 19-20