The Struggle of Shame

Introduction

One of the great truths that Luke wants us to see in 8:40-56 is that Jesus has the power over both disease and death.

We have a danger in becoming “Shiny and Shamed”

Shame

*Have you ever felt shame?

In our minds, shame can range from simple embarrassment to deep emotional pain.

ILLUST - funny story of embarrassment

The Difference Between Guilt and Shame

Guilt points us to something we did.

Shame points to something we are.

Guilt says, “I did something bad.”

Shame says, “I am something bad.”

Bible speaks of two kinds of shame:

Well-placed and Misplaced Shame

Well-placed shame is shame you feel because you had a hand in it.

sin.

Garden of Eden

Misplaced shame is shame you feel even though you did not have a hand in the cause of the shame.

Something done to you.

Traumatic past

Grew up in a verbally abusive home - told you’re worthless, a bad person. Sexually abused - words you have for yourself - I am dirty, I am used.

Something that makes you different

Physical problem / deformity, infertility, still single or now divorced through no fault of your own.

In all these cases, shame begins to tell us who we are — I am broken, I am ugly, I am bad, I am used, I am worthless, I am unloved, I am insignificant, I am weak, pitiful, unwanted — and pretty soon we can find ourselves living out of that identity we have created or allowed others to create for us rather than living out of the victorious identity that Christ has secured for us on the cross.

Examples of Shame

Pastor Craig Groeschel points out that many of us tend to live out of our shame in

hopeless perfectionism where we attempt to cover the inadequacies we believe are a part of us by achieving the opposite — I did it.

or

Examples of Shame

harsh criticism (of self and others) — where we are hard on ourselves in the places we believe we are inadequate or we are hard on others in the places we believe we fall short

You were NOT meant to live in shame.

Whether your shame is a result of something you’ve done or something done to you, we will look at a story of a woman whose life is completely overshadowed by shame and how Jesus removed her shame and how he can remove yours as well.

**Jesus gives you a name that removes the shadows of shame.**

(ESV)

40 Now when Jesus returned, (from the the opposite side of the Sea of Galilee) a crowd welcomed him, for they were all waiting for him. 41 And there came a man named Jairus, who was a ruler of the synagogue. And falling at Jesus’ feet, he implored him to come to his house, 42 for he had an only daughter, about twelve years of age, and she was dying. As Jesus went, the people pressed around him.

Jesus had taken his disciples to the other side of the Sea of Galilee where they encounter a man who was possessed by thousands of demons. The demons recognize Jesus. Jesus frees the man from the demons by sending the demons into a herd of pigs which then run off a cliff and drown in the sea.

The people of the village are afraid and unwilling to have Jesus stay with them so Jesus and his disciples get back into the boat and set out back across the lake.

While all of this is happening, a crowd is forming on the opposite shore. They are anxiously waiting for Jesus. Probably many with sicknesses, problems, needs, which they are coming and hoping Jesus will take care of.

(It’s amazing how Jesus didn’t resist this)

Among the crowd is a a man named Jairus — Ruler of the synagogue — Big deal.

Ruler of the synagogue - Big deal.

very well known, very well respected.

His role was most important of the religious and social sphere. Man who had great authority.

Falls at Jesus’ feet - (I imagine the crowd opening up a bit for this man)

This was huge not only for a Jewish man but THIS Jewish man

Jewish men didn’t fall at another man’s feet

They walked slowly, they wore long (clean) robes, they acted very dignified

(think of a man in a three-piece suit begging on his knees)

Just not done, but this man was desperate.

His daughter - only daughter - was dying.

She had twelve wonderful years, but now she is about to die.

He had left her only long enough to find Jesus, and now he was going to do anything to get Jesus to come and heal her.

Jesus begins to make his way to Jairus’ house with the crowd following.

43 And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and though she had spent all her living on physicians, she could not be healed by anyone.

“discharge of blood” - disease that caused an continuous menstrual flow

not sure exactly what the disease was but we know what the disease meant:

chronic sickness, likely painful, unable to have children, ceremonially clean, relationally lonely, socially an outcast, emotionally hopeless.

According to Jewish law she was unclean - anyone who would have touched her would have been ceremonially unclean as well.

she could not be in public where others might touch her

banned from worship

She’s been socially and emotionally dead for twelve years and has no hope of ever living.

for twelve years no one has touched her

for twelve years she has been socially and emotionally dead

She is unclean, dirty, untouchable, unloved, unable, not enough, etc.

She’s tried to fix it - Luke (a doctor) tells us her disease is incurable and that she has spent all her money on doctors who could not help.

The story couldn’t begin with two more opposite people, but that’s the point. Luke is trying to show us that. . .

YOU need Jesus. (40-43)

Everyone needs Jesus.

The only thing these two have in common is their desperation and need for Jesus

Look at the contrast between the two:

Man, woman

Respected, despised

Well-loved, unloved

Clean, dirty

Leader of worship, not allowed to worship

Named, unamed

For Jairus, pride could have kept him from coming to Jesus - “I don’t need this prophet - I’m the ruler of the synagogue - I’m obviously blessed and God will favor me” But a tragedy can quickly change your pride.

We are always only one tragedy away from our pride becoming pleading.

Job loss, diagnosis, family death, etc.

For the woman, it was her shame that could have easily kept her from coming to Jesus.

I’m not good enough, I’m obviously not blessed so why would Jesus help me? I’m not worth Jesus’ help.

This woman suffered shame (we know) through no fault of her own, but others saw her issue of shame as a problem of sin.

Either way, the answer is Jesus.

YOU need Jesus.

The only thing these two have in common is their desperation and need for Jesus.

44 She came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, and immediately her discharge of blood ceased.

Jesus is on his way to Jairus’ house and this woman believes Jesus is her last hope

Problem - she is not supposed to be in public

Sneaks up behind Jesus hoping a touch will heal her.

Mark’s Gospel says, “She had heard the reports about Jesus” - not sure what she had heard, but it was enough for her to feel he could do more than the doctors she had seen. It was enough for her to believe he could help and heal. This motivated her to go against all that her shame told her and get to Jesus.

She reached out and

feels so much shame that she doesn’t even meet Jesus, she sneaks up behind him, hoping a touch will heal her.

27 She had heard the reports about Jesus

** Have you heard what Jesus can do?

Jesus cares and can deal with your shame. (44)

She reached out and touched the fringe of his garment (possibly the blue tassel Jewish men had on their garments) and she was healed.

She reached to Jesus in faith and she was healed.

Jesus isn’t magical - rub his shirt and get three wishes - JESUS healed her - not his clothing (we’ll see in a moment) he meant to heal her.

Jesus is on his way to heal a twelve-year-old girl (and he will) - the daughter of a prominent religious leader - that makes sense. I could see why Jesus would care about the twelve-year-old full of life, but on the way he heals the woman who for twelve years has had no life?

Jesus cared about the woman who no one else cared about.

Jesus healed the woman no one else could heal.

If the woman would have believed the lies that Jesus neither cared nor could heal her she would still be living in her shame.

These lies so often keeps us from coming to Jesus in our shame - that Jesus does not care about me or that Jesus won’t help me

If you were those things (I am ___) would Jesus have died for you? I am worth the price of Jesus!

45 And Jesus said, “Who was it that touched me?” When all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the crowds surround you and are pressing in on you!” 46 But Jesus said, “Someone touched me, for I perceive that power has gone out from me.”

ILLUST - Fourth of July fireworks - everyone was bumping and touching you. You just hoped they were all accidental and that you had your watch and wallet when you were out.

I find it fascinating that Jesus knew the power ‘had gone out’ from him.

How did he know? How did he feel it?

Why did he stop? She’s healed - why not keep going? A little girl’s life is at stake.

Perhaps the woman’s physical healing was not all that she needs.

If Jesus knows his healing power has left him, he also knows where it went.

While the power of God is limitless, it is not expended without Jesus knowing it and feeling it.

Jesus felt and paid the cost of your shame. (45-46)

The source of your shame - whether it is something you have done or something something someone has done to you has been paid for by Jesus - and he felt it.

Jesus was despised and rejected, He paid for that rejection to make a way to heal your rejection.

Jesus was abused, ridiculed, lonely, unwanted

Jesus was made dirty so you could be clean.

(ESV)

21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Jesus willingly defiled himself to make this woman clean.

The unclean woman touched a clean man.

ILLUST - I sent my healthy kid to school and got a sick kid back - It would make sense to send my healthy kids to school to make all the sick kids healthy

According to the Law of Moses, that should make Jesus unclean. But Jesus is greater than Moses, instead of becoming defiled, he makes the unclean clean.

Jesus willingly took on shame to remove yours.

21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

I love what happens next. . .

47 And when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling, and falling down before him declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him, and how she had been immediately healed. 48 And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”

“Daughter” - This was a tender nickname — sweetheart

This woman was likely called some very ugly names by some very mean people — some of those names she may have called herself. But here is the One who knows the stars by name giving her the name she needed most - daughter.

This is the only time in the NT that Jesus calls a woman by that name.

Jesus healed her physically, restored her emotionally / socially, and saved her spiritually (your faith - go in peace.)

When you come to Jesus:

Jesus replaces your shame with a new name. (47-48)

Justification + Adoption = salvation is not JUST about being made right before God and saved from our sins - it is that - but it is also about being adopted into his family - becoming a child of God.

Your shame is replaced with a new name:

Unloved - loved by God

Outcast - son / daughter of the King

Poor - rich in all that Christ Jesus has

This is the moment you

Right now, you are hiding in the crowd wonderingwhatit’s like to be exposed in all this mess before Jesus... He is calling you daughter. He wants you to know that you are not damaged, second-rate, unworthy or unloved; you are a precious and beloved child whom he has created and redeemed specifically for his purposes.

o You were precious enough for him to shed his blood to buy you back; he put his Spirit inside of you; and destined you to rule and reign with him forever.

o One day, Hebrews says, he will put you on a throne higher than the angels and all creation will shake their heads in wonder at the love God has bestowed on you and the honor and esteem with which he holds you.

o Andit’stimetheshameothershaveputonyougiveswaytothe honor he has declared over you.

You no longer need to respond to the names you were given or have given yourself - you have a new name.

Jesus gets the glory - you get the honor

Practical Steps to apply the truth:

1) Name your shame 

Jesus addressed her publicly - she had to reveal her shame to everyone

Takes away it’s power

The power of shame is in its secrecy

(I can’t let people know how I feel - I need to maintain my image)

If people knew what I struggle with I would never be allowed to serve coffee!

“Confession has a purpose. At least, that's what Frank Warren, creator of PostSecret.com, has come to find. Every week he receives secrets in the form of postcards from around the world. PostSecret originated as a project for an art exhibit in November of 2004, and as of June 2005 he had already acquired 2,000 postcards.

Most of the postcards Warren receives express politically or socially incorrect ideas, detail abuses both past and present, or articulate body image issues that people have never told others. As evidenced by the comments posted at the bottom of the page, many visitors to the site have found a sense of camaraderie as they read secrets that they themselves have. For most of them, shame and guilt kept them from talking about their own secrets. PostSecret.com provides an anonymous arena for disclosure, and both the contributors and visitors are finding that these confessions remove their sense of shame and isolation.

Surprisingly vulnerable, the confessions on these cards display and evoke a wide range of emotion. For example, one postcard states, "I don't care about recycling (but i pretend i do)," while the card beneath it reads, "His temper is so scary that I've lost all of my options," and another says, simply, "I miss feeling close to God."

The submitters say they find a sense of release and freedom when they finally drop their card into the mailbox. As he found when he confessed his own secret, Warren says, "Sometimes, we believe we are keeping a secret, but it can be just as true that the secret is keeping us."”

Dana Beatty, St. Charles, Illinois; sources: http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com/, http://circlesarefun.com/NY0609A018X.pdf

The reason we bring our shame out from the shadows:

Gives the glory to Christ and brings honor to you.

2) Cling to Christ

“Took hold of the hem. . .” = grabbed, clung to, etc. 

Freedom from shame comes through a focus on Christ

The woman tried every other expert and remedy - only Jesus can change your identity.

Did you ever wonder why perhaps the simplest practices we can do as believers is to pray and read God’s Word — this is the essence of our relationship with God and yet what are perhaps the hardest two things for us to ‘find the time’ to do?

How can we expect to rid ourselves of the shame the world has placed on us if we continue to spend more time listening to what the world is saying to us that what God says about us?

As we focus on ourselves we only see our inadequacies. As we focus on Christ we see only his abilities.

3) Receive your Name

In taking your shame Jesus gives you a new name

“Daughter"

This is why baptism is so important

When we are ashamed we feel dirty - we feel we need to be cleaned - baptism is a physical symbol of a spiritual action of 1) being cleansed from our sins, 2) dying to old self and rising to newness of life. 

You may be here today, trembling because Jesus is calling you out. He’s addressing your shame. The crowd has stopped moving so you and Jesus can do some business. Don’t move past this moment.

You’ve been in the shadows for some time now, but it’s time to deal with the shame. Maybe it’s been years — you don’t know life any other way, but here is where it starts — with you and Jesus.

As Jesus has called you out you feel dirty. “If only they knew. . .” Jesus already does — let him deal with it. That secret sin hasn’t gotten any better by keeping it a secret

“doing better next time” hasn’t fixed it.

Praying that God will make the temptations stop hasn’t worked because you’re trying to be healed in the shadows — to maintain the name you’ve created for yourself.

(ESV)

1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

(ESV)

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

There are some here who have been carrying the voices of shame with you for many years. The shame you didn’t deserve but your abuser gave you. The names and labels that person gave you just to hurt you, make you feel less than how God made you. You’ve been living from the shadows of shame for all these years.

Jesus wants to remove your shame. It’s time to stop living from what others have said about you and time to start living out of what God has spoken over you:

In Christ:

I am loved and lovable

I am a new creature

I am safe and saved

I am a child of God

I have a purpose

I am significant and worthwhile

I am good

I am clean

I am a delight to God

This is the moment you allow Jesus to remove your shame and you receive your name — my son / my daughter

Conclusion

"I'm not bad. I'm not going to focus on that. Because of Christ, I am forgiven." "I'm not sick. Because of Christ, I am healed." "I'm not broken. Because of Christ, I am a new creation in Christ Jesus. The old is gone and I've become new." "I'm not disgusting. Because of Christ, I am loved." I would say it this way, I'm not just inadequate. Because of Christ in me, Christ is more than enough. What is stopping you from moving forward today to deal with your shame and allow Jesus to heal you.

I'm not going to

focus on that. Because of Christ, I am forgiven." "I'm not sick. Because of Christ,

I am healed." "I'm not broken. Because of Christ, I am a new creation in Christ

Jesus. The old is gone and I've become new." "I'm not disgusting. Because o

f

Christ, I am loved." I would say it this way, I'm not just inadequate. Because of

Christ in me, Christ is more than enough.

What is stopping you from moving forward today to deal with your shame and allow Jesus to heal you.

Only two things could stop you:

Only two things could stop you:

Fear

Pride