Treat Others the Same Way You Want Them to Treat You

Introduction|

Attention:

For just a moment, I want you to ask yourself this question: how do you want others to treat you? Background:

Solomon is begging his son to embrace wisdom in his life by helping him understand the importance of wisdom in his life.

Need Element:

Jesus says: "But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either. Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back. Treat others the same way you want them to treat you” (, NASB). Everyone wants to be treated with kindness, love, and respect. Tonight, I want us to learn how we shouldn’t treat others to help us know how to treat others with love, kindness, and respect!

Textual Idea:

Solomon reminds his son that wisdom can be seen in our relationships with others.

Big Idea:

Wisdom helps us treat others with love ().

Interrogative:

How shouldn’t you treat others?

Outline|

I. A wise and loving person doesn’t withhold good or kindness from others (vv. 27-28)

Explanation:

I want yo to nice Solomon’s advice to His son about others:

“Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it. Say not unto thy neighbour, Go, and come again, and to morrow I will give; when thou hast it by thee” ().

First, we notice that we shouldn’t withhold good from others (vv. 27).

One can actually say it this way: “do not withhold good from its owner.” The word good carries the idea of something that is morally, legally, or ethically good. “We sin against each other not only by the bad things we do,” writes one writer “but also by the beautiful things we withhold. From God’s standpoint, when it is when our ability and power, we show good to others by helping them.

Secondly, we notice that we shouldn’t be stingy but generous towards others (vv. 28).

Jesus defines our neighbor “as someone we encounter who is in need of help ().” When others are in need, and it is within our ability, we shouldn’t withhold kindness and generosity from others. Warren Wiersbe says that a “Wise Christians will be generous to their neighbors.” This verse encourages us to “give promptly and willingly.”

Illustration:

It takes a long time to fill a glass with drops of water. Even when the glass seems full, it can still make one, two, three, four, or five or more additional drops. But if you will keep at it, there is at last that one drop that makes the glass overflow. The same applies to deeds of kindness. In a series of kindnesses, there is at last one that makes the heart run over.

Argumentation:

Why shouldn’t we withhold good and kindness from others?

The reason is simple because Christ doesn’t withhold good and kindness from you! Thus, you ought to be a little Christ that models his actions to others.

Application:

In our life, you ought to be good to others! If you are withholding good from others, you need to ask God to forgive you and those whom you have wronged! Are you withholding good from your friends, family, church, co-workers, or neighbors? Moreover, you ought to also be generous towards others. If you are withholding your money or possessions from others, the Bible defines you in two ways: 1) a sinner and 2) an unwise person. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be defined as neither of those two opinions! If you are able, I want to encourage you to give willingly and quickly towards the needs of others.

II. A wise and loving person doesn’t scheme or argue with others (vv. 29-30)

Explanation:

Next, Solomon says to his son:

“Devise not evil against thy neighbour, seeing he dwelleth securely by thee. Strive not with a man without cause, if he have done thee no harm” ().

First, you shouldn’t plan to harm others (vv. 29).

The word devise suggests planning and preparing. God reminds us not to plot harm against our neighbors. As one person points out, your neighbor can be “a fellow citizen or a friend or companion.” We shouldn’t devise an evil plan because that person most of the times trusts us—“Don’t plot harm against your neighbor for those who live nearby trust you” (, NLT). You can harm a person in many ways: 1) you can physically harm them (fighting) or 2) you can emotionally hurt someone (cutting words, gossip, backbiting, etc.).

Next, you shouldn’t argue with others (vv. 30).

The word strive suggests quarreling or contending with someone. One translation says: “Do not accuse anyone for no reason— when they have done you no harm” (, NIV). The idea is that we shouldn’t bring an accession against someone without a legitimate cause (NET). We ought to be people who avoid unnecessary disagreements with others. Paul says: "If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men” (). The idea is that we shouldn’t be “a faultfinding, critical person, ready to pounce on some well-meaning individual. . . [because] that is a culture of death.”

Illustration:

A certain married couple had a quarrel and ended up giving each other the silent treatment. Two days into their mute argument, the man realized he needed his wife’s help. In order to catch a flight to Chicago for a business meeting, he had to get up at 5 a.m. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5 a.m.” The next morning the man woke up only to discover his wife was already out of bed, it was 9 a.m., and his flight had long since departed. He was about to find his wife and demand an answer for her failings when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. He read, “It’s 5 a.m. Wake up.”

Argumentation:

Why shouldn’t we argue and scheme against others?

The Book of Romans commands us to “live peaceably with all men” (). To put it plainly, we shouldn’t argue and scheme because God says so!

Application:

This text can be applied to a couple of different situations. First, you should plan to harm others with your words, deeds, or attitudes. If you are hurtful on purpose, you are not practicing wisdom! Secondly, you shouldn’t quarrel with someone when they have done no harm. If someone does something that isn’t wrong but different, you should quarrel about it with others or to others. In most situations, the other party didn’t even think anything about it. When you have a problem, you should follow the pattern established by Jesus in . First, you, yourself, should go to the other person. If this doesn’t work, you bring another person along with you. If this doesn’t work, you bring the matter before the church. However, I have found that no one ever talks to the other party but talks to everyone else the problem and the other person.

First, you should plan to harm others with your words, deeds, or attitudes. If you are hurtful on purpose, you are not practicing wisdom! Secondly, you shouldn’t quarrel with someone when they have done no harm. If someone does something that isn’t wrong but different, you should quarrel about it with others or to others. In most situations, the other party didn’t even think anything about it. When you have a problem, you should follow the pattern established by Jesus in . First, you, yourself, should go to the other person. If this doesn’t work, you bring another person along with you. If this doesn’t work, you bring the matter before the church. However, I have found that no one ever talks to the other party but talks to everyone else the problem and the other person.

III. A wise and loving person doesn’t envy others or respond with violence (vv. 31-35)

Explanation:

Solomon says to his son: “Envy thou not the oppressor, and choose none of his ways. For the froward is abomination to the Lord: but his secret is with the righteous. The curse of the Lord is in the house of the wicked: but he blesseth the habitation of the just. Surely he scorneth the scorners: but he giveth grace unto the lowly. The wise shall inherit glory: but shame shall be the promotion of fools” ().

First, you shouldn’t envy a violent person (vv. 31a).

The word envy suggests being jealous of someone else. God reminds us to not to become jealous in our attitude. We must remember that “Envy is the root of all sorts of sins.” This person uses “physical violence, brutality, and false accusations. . . to achieve his unscrupulous ends.”

Secondly, you shouldn’t act violently towards others (vv. 31b-32).

The phrase choose any of his ways carries the idea of seeing fit to respond in the same manner as a violent man. Why shouldn’t we respond in violence towards others? We should react violently towards others because it turns God’s stomach. The word abomination suggests complete and utter disgust.

Finally, we should recognize the blesses of righteous and the curses of wicked (vv. 33-35)

The Bible says: “The curse of the Lord is in the house of the wicked: but he blesseth the habitation of the just. Surely he scorneth the scorners: but he giveth grace unto the lowly. The wise shall inherit glory: but shame shall be the promotion of fools” (). God blesses the righteous by giving them grace and glory. God has always blessed those who are obedient and faithful to His word, will, and way. God curses the wicked by mocking them in front of others and shaming the foolish person.

Illustration:

There is a fable of an eagle which could out fly another, and the other eagle didn’t like it. The envious eagle saw a sportsman one day, and said to him, “I wish you would bring down that eagle.” The sportsman replied that he would if he only had some feathers to put on his arrow. So the eagle pulled one out of his wing. The arrow was shot, but didn’t quite reach the rival eagle; it was flying too high. The envious eagle pulled out more feathers, and kept pulling them out until he lost so many that he couldn’t fly. The sportsman then turned around and killed him. The envy of the eagle caused his own downfall. Even so, envy can cause us to stumble and fall if we are not careful.

Argumentation:

Why shouldn’t a person be envious and violent?

As followers of Christ, we are to model the character of our savior. When we examine the gospel accounts, we notice that Jesus wasn’t jealous or violent towards others.

Application:

This passage summons us to denounce the ways of the wicked. If you are struggling with jealousy, you need to ask the Lord to forgive you. A root of jealousy will destroy you and those around you. However, these verses also remind us that God honors righteousness and judges wickedness!

Conclusion/Application|

Reiteration:

We have been reminded of three truths tonight: 1) a wise and loving person doesn’t withhold good or kindness from others; 2) a wise and loving person doesn’t scheme or argue with others; and 3) a wise and loving person doesn’t envy others or respond with violence.

Action:

Jesus says: “treat others the same way you want them to treat you” (). Tonight, we have learned how not to treat others. First, you and I shouldn’t withhold good or kindness from others. Secondly, you and I shouldn’t scheme against others or argue with others. Finally, you and I shouldn’t envy others or respond with violence. If you messed up tomorrow, you would want others to show you grace and mercy. I want to remind you tonight that others want the same from you.

Appeal:

Tonight, I want to encourage you to allow wisdom to affect your relationships with others. Maybe, you need to be a more generous and loving person. If God has spoken you your heart, would you respond to him? Maybe, you realized that you struggle with fault-finding. Instead of looking for faults, you ought to look for the good in others! If God has spoken to your heart, would you respond to him this evening by asking Him to help you? Maybe, you have been reminded that God honors and blesses obedience. Would you respond to him by living for him?