Dealing with Conlfict

• In chapter one, he was faced with a personal challenge. When he heard about what was happening in Jerusalem, he sat down and wept and then broke out into prayer.

• In chapter two, his challenge was political. When the King asked him what he needed, he prayed a “popcorn prayer” and boldly made his requests.

• In chapter three, he confronted an administrative challenge by putting the right workers in the right place for the right reasons.

• In chapter four, he dealt with the challenge of discouragement. The workers were afraid of the enemies and convinced they couldn’t work anymore. Nehemiah rallied the troops to come together under pressure.

As we come to chapter five, this same group is starting come apart because of some complaints. The workers now face a new enemy who is harder to conquer than any of the previous ones and the timing couldn’t have been worse because the walls are almost done! Nehemiah has to stop and put down his hard hat so that he can turn his attention from the building of the wall to the walls that were being put up between the workers.

While their external enemies helped to bring the people together, internal conflict threatened to divide and destroy them.

It’s much easier to conquer an enemy who attacks us than it is to forgive and restore a friend who hurts us.

So, we are going to read Nehemiah chapter 5, but before we do that, let’s pray.

Pray!

Nehemiah 5:1–19 ESV

Now there arose a great outcry of the people and of their wives against their Jewish brothers. For there were those who said, “With our sons and our daughters, we are many. So let us get grain, that we may eat and keep alive.” There were also those who said, “We are mortgaging our fields, our vineyards, and our houses to get grain because of the famine.” And there were those who said, “We have borrowed money for the king’s tax on our fields and our vineyards. Now our flesh is as the flesh of our brothers, our children are as their children. Yet we are forcing our sons and our daughters to be slaves, and some of our daughters have already been enslaved, but it is not in our power to help it, for other men have our fields and our vineyards.” I was very angry when I heard their outcry and these words. I took counsel with myself, and I brought charges against the nobles and the officials. I said to them, “You are exacting interest, each from his brother.” And I held a great assembly against them and said to them, “We, as far as we are able, have bought back our Jewish brothers who have been sold to the nations, but you even sell your brothers that they may be sold to us!” They were silent and could not find a word to say. So I said, “The thing that you are doing is not good. Ought you not to walk in the fear of our God to prevent the taunts of the nations our enemies? Moreover, I and my brothers and my servants are lending them money and grain. Let us abandon this exacting of interest. Return to them this very day their fields, their vineyards, their olive orchards, and their houses, and the percentage of money, grain, wine, and oil that you have been exacting from them.” Then they said, “We will restore these and require nothing from them. We will do as you say.” And I called the priests and made them swear to do as they had promised. I also shook out the fold of my garment and said, “So may God shake out every man from his house and from his labor who does not keep this promise. So may he be shaken out and emptied.” And all the assembly said “Amen” and praised the Lord. And the people did as they had promised. Moreover, from the time that I was appointed to be their governor in the land of Judah, from the twentieth year to the thirty-second year of Artaxerxes the king, twelve years, neither I nor my brothers ate the food allowance of the governor. The former governors who were before me laid heavy burdens on the people and took from them for their daily ration forty shekels of silver. Even their servants lorded it over the people. But I did not do so, because of the fear of God. I also persevered in the work on this wall, and we acquired no land, and all my servants were gathered there for the work. Moreover, there were at my table 150 men, Jews and officials, besides those who came to us from the nations that were around us. Now what was prepared at my expense for each day was one ox and six choice sheep and birds, and every ten days all kinds of wine in abundance. Yet for all this I did not demand the food allowance of the governor, because the service was too heavy on this people. Remember for my good, O my God, all that I have done for this people.

Let’s first look at:

The Complaints Nehemiah Heard

There’s a word in verse 1 that sets the tone for chapter 5, it’s the word, “against.” Trouble’s brewing and tension mounting. Let’s look at the complaints Nehemiah heard in verses 1-5.

In the midst of a “great work” for a “great God,” in 5:1

Now there arose a great outcry of the people and of their wives against their Jewish brothers.

This wasn’t just a little disagreement or a minor problem. They weren’t crying out against the enemies. They were crying out against their own people!

It’s like when there is a hurricane or some other natural disaster. In the aftermath, we get a glimpse of the greed of some people. While there were many who try to help, there are others who see this as an opportunity to take advantage of those in need by price gouging and stealing.

That’s similar to what we see in our text. The city of Jerusalem is in ruins and the people are powerless to help themselves. Taxes are high and because of a long drought there is a bad famine. Most of the people have been working wholeheartedly to build the walls but there are others who are only acting out of greed. And what they are doing is bringing about widespread poverty and injustice.

There were four different complaints that Nehemiah heard:

Hunger

There were people who owned no land but needed food. The population was increasing, the families were growing, there was a famine, and they were hungry. They were working so hard on the wall that they didn’t have time to plant or take care of their crops.

Debt

There were people who owned land but had mortgaged it just to buy food. Inflation was on the rise and prices were going higher and many had their homes repossessed by the moneylenders.

Taxes

Another group complained that taxes were too high (imagine that!). Many people were forced to borrow money just to pay their tax bills. Some of us might have to do the same thing in a couple of months!

Slavery

The wealthy were making loans with outrageous interest rates and taking land and even children as collateral. Families had to choose between starvation and bondage. When the crops failed because of the famine, the lenders took away their property and sold their children into slavery.

While it was not against God’s law to loan money to one another, they were not to act like pawn shop owners or bankers who charge high interest when lending money to fellow Jews. This is clearly stated in Deuteronomy 23:19-20:

Deuteronomy 23:19–20 ESV

“You shall not charge interest on loans to your brother, interest on money, interest on food, interest on anything that is lent for interest. You may charge a foreigner interest, but you may not charge your brother interest, that the Lord your God may bless you in all that you undertake in the land that you are entering to take possession of it.

First are the complaints that Nehemiah heard and next we see:

The Appeal Nehemiah Made

Nehemiah heard their complaints in the first five verses. Now, in verses 6-13, we see the appeal that he made to stop the conflict. Verse 6:

6 I was very angry when I heard their outcry and these words.

He’s hot! It wasn’t just that Nehemiah had a short fuse or a bad temper. This is what the Bible calls “righteous anger.” Moses expressed this kind of anger when he broke the stone tablets of the Law in Exodus 32 and Jesus was filled with anger when he saw the Pharisee’s hard hearts in Mark 3:5 and when he cleared out the Temple in Luke 19.

While Nehemiah was very angry, verse 7 says that he took the time to think before he accused the nobles and officials. Instead of just ripping into the people in the heat of the moment, Nehemiah paused, took a deep breath and thought about it for a while. He did what Proverbs 16:32 challenges us to do:

Proverbs 16:32 ESV

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

After thinking things over, Nehemiah decided to publicly confront the people whose selfishness had created the conflict. Since it involved the whole nation it demanded public reprimand and repentance. This warning consisted of six different appeals:

He appealed to their love

Nehemiah reminded them that they were robbing their own countrymen not the Gentiles. He uses the word, “brother” four different times in his speech. Psalm 133:1 must have been in his mind:

Psalm 133:1 ESV

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!

He reminded them of God’s redemptive purpose

While God’s people had been redeemed from Egypt and most recently from Babylon, and Nehemiah himself had bought back some of the Jews who were in slavery, their fellow Jews were putting people into bondage just to make a few dollars.

His appeal was based on God’s Word

Nehemiah calls them on the carpet: “The thing that you are doing is not good.” As we’ve already seen, they were going against God’s clear commands.

They needed to remember their witness

Israel was to be a light to the nations but their behavior was dark and shady. They were to “…walk in the fear of our God to prevent the taunts of the nations our enemies.”

Because they weren’t right in their relationship with God, they weren’t able make a positive impact on those around them.

He appealed to his own actions

Nehemiah lent money but he didn’t charge interest. He had integrity when he told the other moneylenders to stop what they were doing:

11 Return to them this very day their fields, their vineyards, their olive orchards, and their houses, and the percentage of money, grain, wine, and oil that you have been exacting from them.”

Finally:

He appealed to the judgment of God

Verse 12 shows that they really wanted to do what was right and didn’t have to wait and think about it:

12 Then they said, “We will restore these and require nothing from them. We will do as you say.”

Since they promised to obey, Nehemiah made them take an oath in the presence of the priests. This was a way of saying that the promise was not just between the lenders and the workers but between them and God.

Nehemiah closed this special business meeting by showing them the seriousness of what they had decided to do:

Nehemiah shook out the folds of his robe, which symbolized what God would do if they broke their vow.

Next, the congregation responded with a group “amen” which meant they accepted what had been said. The word literally means, “So be it” and it made the entire assembly a part of the decision.

Then they praised the Lord in unison. What started as a great cry of outrage and conflict led to change and finished with shouts of praise.

First, Nehemiah heard complaints, second made an appeal, and finally:

The Example Nehemiah Set

In describing his own lifestyle during this period, Nehemiah’s tell us how he behaved. He was motivated by two biblical principles during the 12 years he was the governor in the land of Judah. He was devoted to the Great Commandment as later spelled out by Jesus in Mark 12:30-31:

Mark 12:30–31 ESV

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Before thinking about how he could make a quick buck, he considered what was pleasing to God. In verse 15 he describes how previous governors got wealthy at the expense of the people.

When comparing himself with what others did, Nehemiah stated:

But I did not do so, because of the fear of God.

D.L. Moody said, “A holy life will produce the deepest impression. Lighthouses blow no horns; they only shine.” In our day of public scandals in almost every area of life, especially the political, how refreshing it is to meet a man like Nehemiah who put serving the people ahead of getting gain for himself.

Nehemiah never read Philippians chapter 2, but he certainly practiced it.

Philippians 2:3–4 ESV

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Nehemiah used his privileges for helping the people; he did not use the people to build a kingdom for himself. In that day, most officials exercised their authority in order to promote themselves and protect their personal interests. They had very little concern for the needs of the people, a lot like today.

In verses 17-18 we see that he did not live extravagantly but instead lived generously by providing meals for others and not using his expense account to do it. Because he loved and revered God, he also loved the people he was called to serve.

That’s a great example for us to follow as well. Start first by focusing on God and your relationship to Him. As you do, you will have more love and compassion for others - even for those you have conflict with.

I want to focus our remaining time on some practical ways that you and I can take to stop conflict and these come right out of Nehemiah 5.

Make sure it’s a moral issue

Nehemiah was very angry because of the injustice he saw in verse 6. If you’ve been wronged and sinned against, your anger is justified. On the other hand, if you’re ticked off at someone just because they’ve done something that you don’t like, and it’s not a moral issue, then cut them some slack and show them some grace.

Think before speaking

If you’ve been sinned against, take some time to think about what was done and how you feel about it. That’s exactly what Nehemiah did in the first part of verse 7. Anger can motivate us to action but it can just as easily backfire if we just let things just fly out of our mouths.

Meet face-to-face

Someone has said: “Confrontation is caring enough about another person to get the conflict on the table and talk about it.” Just as Jesus commanded in Matthew 18, we are to be direct with the people we have trouble with. Nehemiah went right to the source in verse 8 and confronted the people with what they had done wrong.

When we ignore this step, we often end up talking to someone else about how we’ve been offended by someone else. When you go to a third party you create a “communication triangle.” So, go directly to the person you’re upset with. If someone comes to you to express anger at another person, your first question should always be, “Have you talked to him? Have you met with her?”

Seek a Resolution

Our goal in confronting conflict should always be resolution and restoration of the relationship. We shouldn’t be set on proving ourselves right and the other person as wrong. We’re not to tear our brothers and sisters down but to build them up and have the issue resolved so that we can all get back to kingdom work.

When the workers took these steps, the team was able to get back to the job they were commissioned to do. If we allow conflict and discord to go on, kingdom work will come to a standstill. If we would follow Nehemiah’s example, my guess is that 95% of our relational problems would be solved.

If we have an issue with anyone, let’s follow these four steps:

· Make sure it’s moral

· Think before speaking

· Meet face-to-face

· Seek a resolution

In an old monastery in Germany, I’ve read that you can see two racks of ancient deer antlers permanently interlocked. Apparently, the animals had been fighting, and their horns became so tangled that they could not be disengaged. As a result, both of them died of hunger.

Anyone here this morning who is tangled up with someone right now? Is there conflict in your life? In your home? In your workplace? With someone in the church? Don’t let it fester any longer. I love how the people responded to Nehemiah’s challenge in Verse 13 when it says that the “people did as they had promised.”

What about you? Are you willing to make a promise to stop conflict in your life and the church?

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