Discipling Men

Monday for Men   •  Sermon  •  Submitted
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Introduction

Churches from Moscow to Melbourne to Minneapolis are asking: Where are the men?
Women comprise more than 60% of the adults in the typical worship service in America. Some overseas congregations report 10 women for every man in attendance. Ministry Partners are heavily female as well.
No other religion suffers the enormous gender gaps that plague Christianity.
It’s not just attendance where men trail women. Men are less likely to lead, volunteer, and give in the church. They pray less, share their faith less, and read the Bible less.
The church’s gender gap is often invisible because the top tier of church leadership is still heavily male. But, as Leon Podles puts it best: “The modern church is an army of women led by a few male generals.”
Men, we need the church but, more importantly, the church needs you. The presence of enthusiastic men is one of the surest predictors of church health. Meanwhile, a man shortage is a sure sign of a congregations paralysis and sickness.
God is raising up men at our campus to lead at home and in the church. In both the Old and New Testaments, God established men to lead His people in every generation. That same pattern is exactly what God is doing in our generation, in our time, for our families and church.
For this reason, as I have the privilege of being the first speaker at our new and improved MFM, I would like to take a few minutes and set a vision for what type of man and leader God wants you to be at home and in our church.
it looks like to be a man at Bethany Church Raymond.

Question: What does it look like to be a man of God?

What does it look like to be a man of God?
Through all of this, I, by no means, want to downplay the role of women within the home or the church. Given the audience tonight, I would just like to focus my attention on the importance of the man’s role within the church.

I.

I. The Extremes of Male Leadership

A. Tyrannical Leaders

Some husbands and church leaders embrace their role as leaders with an ungodly ambition.
They make tyrannical decisions that ruin the lives of their families and churches.
They are abusive, and the people they lead do not flourish under their leadership.
Matthew 20:25–28 TNIV
Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Matthew 20:25 TNIV
Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them.
To combat this = Servant Leadership
Matthew 20:25–28 TNIV
Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Leaders serve the people they lead, and we must display that.

B. Absent Leaders

How many of you had absent father (emotionally and/or physically)?
2017 U.S. Census Bureau - 19.7 million children, more than 1 in 4, live without a father (biological, step, or adoptive father) in the home (doesn’t include emotionally absent fathers).
“Consequently, there is a father factor in nearly all social ills facing America today.”
Poverty, teen pregnancy, behavioral problems, child abuse, mom-child health, substance abuse, incarceration, child obesity, crime and education struggles.
Adam’s example
Adam put in the Garden to “serve and protect it” (literal translation of )
“Protect” implies an encroaching evil, and that manifested itself in Satan’s attack on Adam’s wife Eve
Genesis 3:16 TNIV
To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”
Genesis 3:1–6 TNIV
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’ ” “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
Genesis 3:2–6 TNIV
The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’ ” “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
Genesis 3:1-
Genesis 3:2-
Eve did all the talking
Adam, “who was with her” (v. 6), stood there and did nothing.
Far more husbands and fathers, and possible church leaders, abdicate their responsibilities than use their position as tyrant
To combat this = Teach men to embrace the role with courage + humility
Older, more mature men role model this cheerful willingness to lead in the pattern of Christ is vital.

II. Godly Male Leadership

“Young” men need to see btoh

Matthew 20:25–28 TNIV
Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Godly characteristics/virtues as a roadmap for the Christian man
1 Timothy 3:1–4 TNIV
Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect.
Should be every man’s ambition in the church, even if God has not blessed you with the gift of teaching necessary for the gift.
B/c each of these will serve us well as future husbands and fathers.
ambition for the future and every man in the church should have it, even if God has not blessed them with the gift of teaching necessary for the gift.
1 Timothy 3:1–4 TNIV
Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect.
Attributes common for all Christian men:
Above reproach
Husband of one-wife (at-a-time)
Sober-minded
Self-controlled
Respectable
Hospitable
Not a drunkard
Not violent but gentle
Not quarrelsome
Not a lover of money
Managing his family (children) well
Transition: This

II. How Do We Accomplish This?

A. Show Men A Better Way - Godly Leaders

Servant Leadership
To combat this = Servant Leadership
Matthew 20:25–28 TNIV
Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Leaders serve the people they lead, and we must display that.
Godly characteristics/virtues as a roadmap for the Christian man
Should be every man’s ambition in the church, even if God has not blessed you with the gift of teaching necessary for the gift.
B/c each of these will serve us well as future husbands and fathers.
1 Timothy 1:1–4 TNIV
Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the command of God our Savior and of Christ Jesus our hope, To Timothy my true son in the faith: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. As I urged you when I went into Macedonia, stay there in Ephesus so that you may command certain persons not to teach false doctrines any longer or to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies. Such things promote controversial speculations rather than advancing God’s work—which is by faith.
1 Timothy 3:1–4 TNIV
Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect.
Attributes common for all Christian men:
Attributes common for all Christian men:
Above reproach
Husband of one-wife (at-a-time)
Sober-minded
Self-controlled
Respectable
Hospitable
Not a drunkard
Not violent but gentle
Not quarrelsome
Not a lover of money
Managing his family (children) well
Notice what this list does not say: calm, polite, sociable, gentle, sensitive and nurturing.
It doesn’t say we should always be calm, polite and sociable. It doesn’t say we should always be gentle, sensitive and nurturing.
We are to be godly men, men as God made us - naturally competitive, bold, aggressive.

B. Two Patterns Of Discipleship

NT reveals two “patterns” of discipleship to which every disciple must conform
Pattern of “sound teaching”
2 Timothy 1:13 TNIV
What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus.
There must be a doctrinal/biblical/bookish side of discipleship (Monday for Men)
We as men must saturate our hearts in Scripture and in sound theology.
Pattern of “godly living”
Makes sense b/c discipleship is inherently relational
Philippians 3:17 TNIV
Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do.
Philippians 3:16 TNIV
Only let us live up to what we have already attained.
“Life on life,” role-modeling side of discipleship
Young men may very well have never seen a godly husband love his wife as Christ loves the church (), or a godly father bring up his children in the nurture and admonition of the LORD ().
This pattern allows people to learn from the example of others
1 Corinthians 1:11 TNIV
My brothers and sisters, some from Chloe’s household have informed me that there are quarrels among you.
1 Corinthians 11:1 TNIV
Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.
Discipleship

Conclusion

That brings us full-circle to our study this year during MFM - Armor of God. We are in a battle for the hearts of our families and God’s people within the Church. And women + children are looking to us to lead them. This
So, each month we are going to take some time and look at each way part of the Armor God is calling us to wear. We are then going to break-up into smaller groups of 3-4 men, where we can do deeper into the content, where the “older” can teach the younger and where we can have accountability and challenge towards this common goal.
This is vital b/c your families and your church need you to be this man. Be who God has called you to be.
End with a short video.