Leadership: Leaders Confront

Belgic Confession Article 29: The Mark’s of the True Church

The church engages in the pure preaching of the gospel;

of the gospel;

it makes use of the pure administration of the sacraments as Christ instituted them;

as Christ instituted them;

it practices church discipline for correcting faults.

for correcting faults.

In short, it governs itself according to the pure Word of God,

rejecting all things contrary to it and holding Jesus Christ as the only Head.

Role of Elders:

Elders must provide for the true preaching of the Word, instruction for faith formation for both youth and adults, regular celebration of the sacraments, and faithful counsel and discipline while keeping in confidence those matters entrusted to them. And they must promote fellowship and hospitality among believers, ensure good order in the church, and stimulate witness to all people.

Correcting faults- a role given to elders for thousands of years. But how??

Untrained elders- pride, lack of communication

Culture of Autonomy- self-law

Sense of Covenant

Churches

2 part series:

Leaders confront

Nathan: Leaders confront

David: Leaders repent

Leaders repent

How Prophets Worked in the Old Testament

David commits adultery and murder

Covets his neighbors wife

Kills his neighbor

Commits to Bethsheba

And when the mourning was over, David sent and brought her to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing that David had done displeased the Lord.

Chapter 12- Boom: God sends Nathan

Confrontation:

Tyndale Old Testament Commentary, Joyce G. Baldwin: Whereas in countries such as Egypt the king was regarded as divine, in Israel he had to submit to the Lord God who had chosen him, and observe all the commandments given to Israel (, ). It was the task of the prophet of the Lord to encourage the king to fulfil these obligations, and to rebuke him in God’s name if he failed to do so.

1 and 2 Samuel: An Introduction and Commentary iii. The Prophet Confronts the King (12:1–15a)

Whereas in countries such as Egypt the king was regarded as divine, in Israel he had to submit to the Lord God who had chosen him, and observe all the commandments given to Israel (Deut. 17:15, 20). It was the task of the prophet of the Lord to encourage the king to fulfil these obligations, and to rebuke him in God’s name if he failed to do so.

TOTC: Whereas in countries such as Egypt the king was regarded as divine, in Israel he had to submit to the Lord God who had chosen him, and observe all the commandments given to Israel (, ). It was the task of the prophet of the Lord to encourage the king to fulfil these obligations, and to rebuke him in God’s name if he failed to do so.

Three things we learn from Nathan:

Nathan is called to do what??

1. Nathan was faithful to his calling

2. Nathan Confronts Thoughtfully

Scared? Apprehensive?

3. Nathan Confronts Boldly

Apprehensive?

All we know from the text:

vs. 1: And the Lord sent Nathan to David. He came to him...

Nathan was faithful to his calling:

Nathan just left

How Prophets Worked in the Old Testament

Scared? Apprehensive?

vs. 1: And the Lord sent Nathan to David. He came to him...

Tyndale Old Testament Commentary, Joyce G. Baldwin: Whereas in countries such as Egypt the king was regarded as divine, in Israel he had to submit to the Lord God who had chosen him, and observe all the commandments given to Israel (, ). It was the task of the prophet of the Lord to encourage the king to fulfil these obligations, and to rebuke him in God’s name if he failed to do so.

Nathan knew his Role as Prophet:

God’s mouthpiece. Listening to God

Nathan knew his place:

Not the first time we have meaningful dialogue between Nathan and David:

: Message of Promise

David wants to build a temple

Nathan says, ‘Go ahead!’

But then the Lord comes to Nathan and tells Nathan to deliver another message...”

,

, ,

: Message of Sin

Nathan: Track record of gobbling up his words in order for God’s Word to shine through.

Nathan: Humility, faithfulness, obedience...

God says go, Nathan goes.

Revealer of Sin

Leaders can learn from Nathan:

Eat your words and let God’s Word shine!

We don’t know how he felt, but I imagine that receiving this information must have been shocking! Like, David, what were you thinking!

Commentators reflect: Scared? Apprehensive?

Angry? Are you taking advantage of God’s grace?

: “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.

How did Nathan Feel?

: For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? 13 God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”

: Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.

: Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.

: Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law.

: So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. 13 For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

He came to him and said to him, “There were two men in a certain city, the one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had very many flocks and herds, 3 but the poor man had nothing but one little ewe lamb, which he had bought. And he brought it up, and it grew up with him and with his children. It used to eat of his morsel and drink from his cup and lie in his arms, and it was like a daughter to him. 4 Now there came a traveler to the rich man, and he was unwilling to take one of his own flock or herd to prepare for the guest who had come to him, but he took the poor man’s lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him.” 5 Then David’s anger was greatly kindled against the man, and he said to Nathan, “As the Lord lives, the man who has done this deserves to die, 6 and he shall restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity.”

Notes:

Nathan was strategic

Notes:

Uses David’s love language- shepherding

David condemns himself

David= Rich

David condemns himself

Uriah= Poor man with his ewe lamb- female lamb

Precious, cute, dependent

Like a daughter (bat), Bathsheba: Daughter of the oath

He used David’s love language

He gets David to come up with his own conclusion!

David comes up with his own verdict on himself!

He used David’s love language

How to Confront someone:

What can we learn from this?

Can’t just tell any body and everybody what you think is wrong with them!

Judgementalism

Knowing the person will allow you to address the problem from the other’s perspective.

What Nathan could have done:

David, I just got word from the Lord about you and Bethsheba. What’s your problem, man? Is this the new David. The Lord gives you this promise of a forever dynasty, and you go do whatever you want to do? You’re an idiot...

Instead, Nathan gets David to do all the convicting himself!

Be strategic

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when Stakes are High pg. 43

Techniques:

Find a Feeling Word: Say exactly how they made you feel.

Be specific

If you’re not specific, you will end up gettin distracted!

Explain the impact

When you keep ignoring our invitations, it makes me feel like your isolating me...

When you keep ignoring our invitations, it makes me feel rejected and I’m loosing motivation to have y’all over.

Crucial Conversations:

What do I really want for myself?

Ask:

Nathan: To not die

What do I really want for myself?

What do I really want for the other?

Be strategic!

How to Confront someone:

Repentance

Find a Feeling Word: Say exactly how they made you feel.

What do I really want for the relationship

To help our King grow in holiness

How would I behave if I really wanted these results?

Tell a parable

Be specific

Patterson. Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition [Enhanced eBook] (p. 43). McGraw-Hill. Kindle Edition.

Results: Silence vs. Violence

Other Confrontation Tips

Goal Oriented in Conflict Resolution:

Be a Safe Person to be Around

Explain the impact

Stick to the Goal: Removes distracting comments. Don’t react to comments that have nothing to do with a situation.

Be specific with your emotions (I feel… when you do…).

Am I spiritually equipped? Take the Log out first before you deal with the speck

Look to see if others are moving towards silence or violence

c. Look for when things become crucial

How to get the other person to see their faults?

Look to see if others are moving towards silence or violence

d. Learn to watch for safety problems.

e. Look to see if others are moving towards silence or violence

Nathan tells a parable:

Healthy Leaders are aware of these dynamics…

“If you don’t have Mutual Purpose, it’s equally true that you can’t stay in the conversation if you don’t maintain Mutual Respect… The instant people perceive disrespect in a conversation, the interaction is no longer about the original purpose- it is now about defending dignity.” Pg. 79

Discipline= Discipleship. Growth in faith.

How to get another to expose their own sin?

Doesn’t always go the way you want/think

Knows David is listening carefully.

Knows David will govern wisely.

Nathan was bold

Biggest mic drop in the Bible: “You are that man!”

Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you out of the hand of Saul. 8 And I gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your arms and gave you the house of Israel and of Judah. And if this were too little, I would add to you as much more. 9 Why have you despised the word of the Lord, to do what is evil in his sight? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and have taken his wife to be your wife and have killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. 10 Now therefore the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.’ 11 Thus says the Lord, ‘Behold, I will raise up evil against you out of your own house. And I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun. 12 For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel and before the sun.’ ” 13 David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” And Nathan said to David, “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die. 14 Nevertheless, because by this deed you have utterly scorned the Lord, the child who is born to you shall die.” 15 Then Nathan went to his house.

Took on his role as the court prophet and didn’t mince words

And he did it by getting David to recognize his own sin! Nathan has David exactly where he wants him. Nathan’s goal was repentance, so he took out all personal commentary and just helped David see his own guilt.

Took on his role as the court prophet and didn’t mince words: David was guilty and Nathan was going to pierce his heart.

And he did it by getting David to recognize his own sin! Nathan has David exactly where he wants him. Nathan’s goal was repentance, so he took out all personal commentary and just helped David see his own guilt.

As a prophet, Nathan begins to unpack for David what he did to the LORD!

Thus says the Lord:

vs. 7: I anointed you king over Israel

I delivered you from Saul

v.8: I gave you your masters house and his wives

and I would have given you more!

v.9: Conviction: Why have you despised the word of the LORD, to do what is evil in his sight?

Judgment #1: vs.10: Sword Shall Never Depart

You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and have taken his wife to be your wife and have killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. 10 Now therefore the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.’

Sons killed each other for the throne. Solomon barely made it as King!

Judgment #2: v. 11: I will take your wives...

11 Thus says the Lord, ‘Behold, I will raise up evil against you out of your own house. And I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun. 12 For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel and before the sun.’ ” 13 David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” And Nathan said to David, “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die. 14 Nevertheless, because by this deed you have utterly scorned the Lord, the child who is born to you shall die.” 15 Then Nathan went to his house.

11 Thus says the Lord, ‘Behold, I will raise up evil against you out of your own house. And I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun. 12 For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel and before the sun.’ ”

NIV Cultural Background: “In the ANE, the royal harem of the former monarch would become the responsibility of the new king, if only in order to honor diplomatic relationships often established through royal marriages. After all, the harem was not considered family, but state property supporting state alliances.”

Nathan= Modern Day Elders

Elder’s Goal: Purity within the Bride of Christ

Ensure Flock doesn’t despise the WORD

Washing with the WORD!

Nathan spoke a Word against the most influential, violent man. The reason why he wasn’t allowed to build the temple was because too much blood was on his hands. And yet, Nathan spoke out to defend GOD’s honor

Judgement #3: v. 14: The child who is born to you shall die.

Elders Goal: Protect the Flock!

Confronting People has to do with Saving them from the Consequences

David’s Life was never the same again...

Judgement #3: v. 14: The child who is born to you shall die.

13 David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” And Nathan said to David, “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die. 14 Nevertheless, because by this deed you have utterly scorned the Lord, the child who is born to you shall die.” 15 Then Nathan went to his house.

Question: Where is the Gospel?

Gospel is in the death of this child.

Son of David bore the brunt of David’s actions.

The man after God’s own heart was utterly broken, and his actions fell upon his own flesh and blood!

Another Son…

Elders Goal: Purity within the Bride of Christ

Ensure Flock doesn’t despise the WORD

Washing with the WORD!

Perfect Son

Elders Goal: Protect the Flock!

Confronting People has to do with Saving them from the Consequences

David’s Life was never the same again...

3.

He faithfully approaches David with confidence

You are that man!

Retell the story

: “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.

Don’t judge like the Pharisees judge: hypocritically and picky

: For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? 13 God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”

Call to judge those in the church to purge evil!

:

10 Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; 11 for it is written,

“As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me,

and every tongue shall confess to God.”

12 So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.

Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.

Specific situation over whether Christians need to abide by Jewish food laws

: Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.

Watch yourself!

Nathan:

: Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law.

: So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. 13 For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

Very, very rare!

Who’s who...

You are that man!

Retell the story

Uses David’s language- shepherding

David completely misses the analogy

David condemns himself

David condemns himself.

Like a daughter (bat), Bathsheba: Daughter of the oath

You are that man!

Major Lesson:

What did God do for him?

1 and 2 Samuel: An Introduction and Commentary iii. The Prophet Confronts the King (12:1–15a)

Whereas in countries such as Egypt the king was regarded as divine, in Israel he had to submit to the Lord God who had chosen him, and observe all the commandments given to Israel (Deut. 17:15, 20). It was the task of the prophet of the Lord to encourage the king to fulfil these obligations, and to rebuke him in God’s name if he failed to do so.

They don’t hide in pride, but understand their dark side.

They don’t resist grace, but embrace it in faith.

1 and 2 Samuel: An Introduction and Commentary iii. The Prophet Confronts the King (12:1–15a)

There could be no more effective example of the power of the parable as a tool in counselling. All David’s defences have been flattened at a stroke, and he stands naked before his judge.

They don’t prey on the week, they pray for the week

They help dislodge slivers, and pray their own log withers.

David condemns himself.

They don’t pretend to have it all together.

They lead with a limp, and not just physically, but in here!

1 and 2 Samuel: An Introduction and Commentary iii. The Prophet Confronts the King (12:1–15a)

David now has to allow the word of the Lord to probe deeply in order to bring to light the hidden, dark side of his personality, so that David acknowledges it as his own.

What did God do for him?

David condemns himself.

“I anointed you… I delivered you… I gave you...

Judgment:

Sword of the Ammonites vs. sword that will not depart his dynasty.

Secret adultery vs. public adultery

Consequences:

NIVAC: Amnon’s rape of Tamar, his murder at the hands of Absalom, and Absalom’s rebellion all represent threats to the great prophetic vision of . For the present, the historian leaves us in suspense about David’s future.

Amnon’s rape of Tamar, his murder at the hands of Absalom, and Absalom’s rebellion all represent threats to the great prophetic vision of . For the present, the historian leaves us in suspense about David’s future.

The NIV Application Commentary: 1 & 2 Samuel Nathan the Prophet: You Are the Man! (12:1–12)

Amnon’s rape of Tamar, his murder at the hands of Absalom, and Absalom’s rebellion all represent threats to the great prophetic vision of 2 Samuel 7. For the present, the historian leaves us in suspense about David’s future.

Techniques:

Find a Feeling Word: Say exactly how they made you feel.

Another son of David will die for sin...

Be specific

Explain the impact

Am I spiritually equipped? Take the Log out first before you deal with the speck

How to get the other person to see their faults?

Nathan tells a parable:

Knows David is listening carefully.

Knows David will govern wisely.

Another son of David will die for sin...

: For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? 13 God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”

: Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.

: Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.

: Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law.

: So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. 13 For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

Am I spiritually equipped? Take the Log out first before you deal with the speck

12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? 13 God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”

How to get the other person to see their faults?

Nathan tells a parable:

Knows David is listening carefully.

Am I spiritually equipped? Take the Log out first before you deal with the speck

Knows David will govern wisely.

Take the Log out first before you deal with the speck

“In the ANE, the royal harem of the former monarch would become the responsibility of the new king, if only in order to honor diplomatic relationships often established through royal marriages. After all, the harem was not considered family, but state property supporting state alliances.”

Elders must provide for the true preaching of the Word, instruction for faith formation for both youth and adults, regular celebration of the sacraments, and faithful counsel and discipline while keeping in confidence those matters entrusted to them. And they must promote fellowship and hospitality among believers, ensure good order in the church, and stimulate witness to all people.

Parable: Rich man of many flock takes the one prized possession of a poor man.

Who is the traveler?

Judgment is from God

We don’t have God telling us to go and confront that person.

Use scripture, if possible.

Leadership: Leaders Confront

Introduction: Leaders Confront

God Sends Nathan

Nathan was faithful to his calling

Nathan was faithful to his calling

Nathan Confronts Thoughtfully

Nathan: Thoughtful Story

What can we learn from this?

1. Confront within Relationship

2. Be Thoughtfully strategic:

Nathan was Bold

2 Takeaways from Nathan’s Confrontation:

Leadership: Leaders Confront

Introduction: Leaders Confront

God Sends Nathan

Nathan was faithful to his calling

Nathan was faithful to his calling

Nathan Confronts Thoughtfully

Nathan: Thoughtful Story

What can we learn from this?

1. Confront within Relationship

2. Be Thoughtfully strategic:

Nathan was Bold

2 Takeaways from Nathan’s Confrontation:

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