#2 The Only One in the World

Introduction

Last week we laid the foundation for our new series on the topic of cherishing your spouse by defining the word cherish and explaining the difference between loving your spouse and cherishing your spouse. We said that when we learn to move beyond loving with just a sense of commitment to truly cherishing our spouse.

A cherishing attitude toward your spouse will elevate your marriage relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

In today’s lesson, and continuing over the next few weeks, we’ll look at ways that we can cherish our spouse.

Transition: If you want a truly exceptional marriage, one in which the love for your spouse has no compare and you want to truly cherish your spouse, than let’s go back to the beginning of time.

Turn with me to .

Genesis 2:

Genesis 2:18–25 KJV 1900

18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. 20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. 21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

What do we find here in ? God sees Adam all alone and says, unlike the rest of creation, “It is not good.” So, in verse 21, God put Adam to sleep, takes one of his ribs, and from it He made Eve.

Verse 23 is where it gets good…Adam wakes up. Let me explain what was going through Adam’s mind when he woke up, no, let me show you.

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What does he see? He sees something unlike the rest of creation that he had already named. He sees something just like him in the most important ways, yet so unlike him in even more important ways. And all he could say was “Wo Man!”

The best part, she was his and he was hers!

Do you know what made this moment especially powerful and enthralling?

There was no one else.

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There was no one else. There was no Sarah, no Rebecca, no Jane; there was just Eve!

There was no Sarah, no Rebecca, no Jane; there was just Eve!

There was no one else for Adam to compare Eve too. He couldn’t say “Eve is kinder than Jane” or “Eve isn’t as intelligent as Rebecca.” To Adam, Eve was the woman that defined “woman” to him. He couldn’t imagine another woman because there wasn’t another. He couldn’t wonder what is was like for her to be taller or slimmer or heavier or darker or funnier or more intelligent. What she was is what she was!

For Adam, she was the only woman in the world and he couldn’t be happier!

Sticky Statement: Cherishing means learning to hold someone dear.

My name is Jason Lee Young and I have my three daughters!

Transition: Men, if we are going to truly cherish our spouse and enjoy an exceptional marriage, let her be, in your mind, the only woman in the world.

1. The Only Woman in the World

We should say to our wife what King Solomon said:

Song of Solomon 6:3 KJV 1900

3 I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine: He feedeth among the lilies.

Song of Solomon 6:9 KJV 1900

9 My dove, my undefiled is but one; She is the only one of her mother, She is the choice one of her that bare her. The daughters saw her, and blessed her; Yea, the queens and the concubines, and they praised her.

In the preceding verse, Solomon says, I have 60 queens, 80 concubines, and virgins without number, but you are the one! You are the only woman in the world for me!

Illustration: Do you remember when you saw your now wife walk down the aisle to you at your wedding? Oh, the flood of emotions, the joy, the excitement! In that moment, she was the only woman in the world for you! There was no other woman on your mind. No one else mattered at that time. Everyone else in the room was just furniture when compared to the woman coming down the aisle.

Do you remember when you saw your now wife walk down the aisle to you at your wedding? Oh, the flood of emotions, the joy, the excitement! In that moment, she was the only woman in the world for you! There was no other woman on your mind. No one else mattered at that time. Everyone else in the room was just furniture when compared to the woman coming down the aisle that was about to be your wife!

This doesn’t have to be a once-in-a-lifetime experience. It can be a daily reality.

For you to cherish your wife this way, you must mentally choose not to look at another woman that way.

To help you cherish your wife like she is the only woman in the world for you, let me suggest that you regularly pray the prayer that Gary Thomas, in his book Sacred Marriage, prayed early on his marriage:

“Lord, let my wife define beauty to me. Let her be the standard for what I find most attractive.”

If you honestly pray this prayer, God will answer. And even as the years and wrinkles are added, you’ll continue to see your wife as the standard of beauty.

However, we can’t fill our eyes with our wives if our eyes are being filled with someone else. Men, this is one of the many dangers of pornography. If we are constantly filling our eyes with someone else’s body, we’ll begin to see your wives as less beautiful. Pornography neurologically trains our brains to react this way.

Illustration: Think of it like this, you have bowl of delicious, juicy strawberries. You eat a few of those strawberries and find them extremely good. They are so sweet and you can’t get enough of them.

The next day you come in the kitchen and grab a Snickers bar. You eat that Snickers bar and then reach for a strawberry. Suddenly, you no longer like the strawberries, in fact, instead of tasting sweet, they taste a little sour.

What’s happened? What was sweet is no longer sweet to the taste because of the Snickers bar. The real, genuine sweetness of the strawberry that God made for you has been replaced by the synthetic sweetness of the Snickers.

This is what happens when you get involved in pornography. The synthetic sweetness of what the world has to offer draws our hearts away for the true sweetness that God has designed for us through marriage.

If you’re trapped in the world of pornography, you don’t have to stay there. There is a way of escape! I and others on our staff would be glad to help you fight the battle against pornography so that you can enjoy the genuine sweetness that God has given you in your wife.

If you want supreme satisfaction in your wife, ad truly cherish her, she must become like Eve to you, the only woman in the world to you. Fill your eyes with only her and pray, “ Lord, let me look at my wife as the only woman in the world.

Men, it’s a choice we must make to guard our hearts and our focus. If your wife sees that you are guarding your heart and focus for her, it’s then that it’s happening, she is feeling cherished.

Remember, your wife is just your first choice, she’s your only choice.

Cherishing is about learning to you hold spouse dear. It takes work and it takes vigilance. But when it arrives, you’ll be the most blessed husband in the world!

Transition: Ladies, this truth isn’t just for husbands. Cherishing your spouse goes both ways. You must also see your husband as...

2. The Only Man in the World

Let’s go back to the Garden of Eden. Just as Eve was the only woman in the world for Adam; so was Adam the only man in the world for Eve.

Divorce statistics show that women tend to be more dissatisfied in their marriages than men. (Cherish, by Gary Thomas, p. 70)

You may have to fight more fiercely against disappointment in marriage so that you don’t succumb to frustration, bitterness, and contempt. How can you fight contempt and learn to see your husband as the only man in the world for you?

It’s a spiritual choice you make to be contempt with you husband. Just as men, wives don’t get to critically compare their husband with other husband. This is what girlfriends should do with boyfriends, not what wives should do with their husbands. must ring true in your heart.

Song of Solomon 6:3 KJV 1900

3 I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine: He feedeth among the lilies.

You see, in the Garden, Eve didn’t have anyone to compare Adam too. She couldn’t think, “His biceps look a little below average, but at least he doesn’t have a unibrow.” All she could think was, “So this is what man is like. This is what my man is like!”

Ladies, your husband will notice when he is being compared to someone else. Your husband will feel like he has to compete for your attention. All this will do is breed bitterness and contempt.

No one can be everything. Your husband may be a great handyman around the house but sees chores and long talks as chores rather than something he enjoys. He may not be everything you wanted, but he is exactly who you said “yes” too.

Since no man can be everything, one of the best gifts a woman can give her man is to tell him—with you eyes, expressions, words, and acceptance—“You have to be anything other than what you are. You are my Adam, the only one in the world for me.”

“If you marry a guy who isn’t a handyman, you don’t judge him for not being a handyman. If you marry a guy who is a bit silent, you don’t brood over the fact that your best friend’s husband will sit and talk to her for hours. If you marry a guy who thinks exercise is picking up a video game controller, you don’t think about what it would be like to marry a guy who does triathlons with you.” — Gary Thomas

If you think of your husband as your Adam, the only one in the world for you. You cherish him for who and what he is and won’t expect him to be something he isn’t or compare him to anyone else.

Let me ask you this question, what have you every gained by comparing your husband weaknesses to another man’s strengths? Has it every made you happier or more contempt or a more loving wife? Has it brought you closer to your spouse or brought you joy? Has it every helped your husband become something he is not?

The answer, no!

If you want marital happiness, learn to cherish your husband instead of longing for an imaginary composite.

I promise you, you will become much happier in your marriage—and will become a much better wife—if you pray through the creation account and ask God to help you see your husband as the only man in the world.

If you do, you’ll find more contentment, enjoyment, happiness, and intimacy in your marriage. Your heart will swell with pride and you’ll say to all your friends, “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine!”

Conclusion

As we conclude, ask yourself this question, “What you can do in the coming weeks to assure your spouse that he is your Adam or that she is your Eve, the only man or woman in the world.”