Wise Sexuality & the Slavery of sin

One of the joys, strengths, and yet challenges of preaching through books systematically is that you are forced to preach passages and look at topics that in general you would not choose to look at! And yet, that’s the very thing that we must do, we must preach the whole counsel of God, All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. ().

So this morning we come to . And let’s be honest, its one of those passages you’re tempted to maybe skip over, or have a special time to think through. It’s a passage that can make us a bit uncomfortable and embarrassed! And yet, it’s God who has spoken it for us! We need to hear this, and if we won’t address topics like sex, as a church family, then we leave ourselves, and our young people to be taught about it by the world, which is unthinkable!! So, let’s approach this as we’ve been learning we must approach every part of God’s Word, with humility, reverence, and attention! We must listen!!

In C.S.Lewis’ book The Screwtape Letters, we are given a fictional insight into the conversation and correspondence between a senior, mature devil or demon (Screwtape), and his young nephew (Wormwood). And in it the demon is trying to train his nephew in the most effective strategies for war against the enemy (God & God’s people)

But there is something this senior demon really struggles with, and it’s the fact that pleasure is God’s design! It’s His creation! ‘Out at sea, out at His sea, there is pleasure and more pleasure. He makes no secret of it; at His right hand are pleasures forevermore…He’s vulgar, wormwood…He has filled the world full of pleasures.’

God is the happiest, most joyful being in the universe! And He desires His people to know His joy in 10,000 ways! But here’s where the strategies of the enemy bear fruit, he can’t deny God’s good gifts that bring pleasure, but he can twist them! ‘Never forget that when we are dealing with any pleasure in its healthy and satisfying form, we are, in a sense, on the Enemy’s ground. I know we have won many a soul through pleasure. All the same, it is His invention, not ours. He made pleasure: all our research so far has not enabled us to produce one. All we can do is to encourage the humans to take the pleasures which our Enemy has produced, at time, or in ways, or to degrees which are forbidden. Hence we always try to work away from the natural, that which least reflects its maker and is least pleasurable! An ever increasing craving for an ever diminishing pleasure is the formula!’

Now we see the reality of this played out across the many pleasures of life. But one area that we see it most clearly, and most destructively is with sex! God has created sex, it is a good thing, a gift, something to be enjoyed and cherished within the confines of marriage! Unfortunately because of the abuses of sex, even within the church we’ve fallen into the trap of not talking about it! Nearly even in a way thinking ourselves that it is something shameful and dirty. And so often that’s how our young people grow up understanding it. It’s not to be mentioned until you’re happily married!

‘Sex is like fire. Kept in the fireplace it keeps the house warm. Outside the fireplace, it burns the house down!’

Every good gift is from above, and every good gift is meant to point us to the giver! It’s meant to be a means for us to know more of the One who gives, and so it is with sex. But equally as with every good gift, we need wisdom, because the enemy seeks to twist it!

Let let’s look at wise sexuality this morning, and see firstly...

Wise Sexuality is recognising when honey is bitter (v.1-6)

Here we have the wise father with his son, and it’s time for that talk! The birds and the bees! The Son is coming of age, he is at the point where sexual temptation and the potential of sexual pleasure is a reality for him. And so the Father must talk straight! And again God in His kindness talks straight with us! He’s not embarrassed, He not awkward! He tells it as it is! And one of the first things here we see is the need to be careful!

There is a danger that exists, a temptation, a seduction! v.3..

There is a way to take this good gift of God that is forbidden! And here is the deadly thing about it, this woman is not passive! She actively comes after you! She wants you to take her! And the means by which she draws you in are words, see that, her lips, her speech! Speech that seems sweet, speech that seems smooth! She promises much, offers satisfaction, makes bold claims! She’ll flatter you, she’ll tell you what you want to hear!

Now this plays out in so many different ways! And although it’s a father speaking to a son, we apply this across the board. The dangers are just as real for ladies as for men, for girls as for boys! That attractive guy or girl in school that starts to pay you attention, wants your number, starts to text, starts to send photos or ask for photos on snap chat! It it’s tempting, it’s appealing, you want it!

Or that work colleague, maybe you or they are already married, but they begin to speak to you in a bit of a flirty way. And you’re drawn in, their words find a place that you forgot existed! And you’re tempted to go along with it. Just to entertain it at this stage!

Or there’s those images on a screen! This doesn’t have to be an actual physical woman here. Things that speak to you in a different way, promise you something much more safe, quick, easy! Something that will fill the void, satisfy the appetite!

Our world is filled with the different forms of this forbidden woman! All you have to do is walk through a shopping center and the images are everywhere!!

But wise sexuality recognises when honey is bitter! It sees when the smooth actually conceals the sharp! v.4...

It’s like bait on a fish hook! The bait looks tasty, it looks satisfying, it seems smooth and pleasant! But as soon as that fish bites, it feels the sharp hook, and it’s caught!!

This honey isn’t real! It may look sweet, it may smell sweet, it may even at first have a sweetness to the taste! But it is bitter, just like wormwood (strong bitter tasting plant that you’d spit out if you took a bite)! It will leave a bad taste in your mouth, a pain in your stomach! It will leave you hurt, and damaged, and broken and empty!

v.5-6...

This temptress although she seems so appealing, and promises so much! Is utterly lost! She is on a road to destruction, she wanders about not knowing where she’s going, or what it will mean! And so it is for any who prey sexually on others. It’s a picture of such sadness and emptiness!

But look at one way in which we can be prepared! v.1-2...

Again the cry is ‘listen!’ Pay attention to my words! They are the difference to us acting wising and properly! They are the truth that guards us from falsehood! All sin is deceitful, it lies, it tells half truths! And the way we combat lies is through the truth, God’s Word is truth! We fit fire with fire! We use the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God to fight against the double edged sword of these lies!

But we need to speak those words! So often we’re faced with temptation of this kind, and we fail to speak out! We stay silent, we say nothing! But our words are important! It’s important to call out lies, to stand against deceit, to warn of danger, to rebuke r

Wise sexuality is recognising when honey is bitter!

Wise Sexuality is knowing what neighborhoods to avoid (v.7-14)

Have you every gone to another city to stay for a while, and whilst you’re trying to familiarise yourself with your new surroundings, someone who has lived there for a long time tells you, ‘avoid that place, don’t go there, it’s dangerous’!

In this pursuit of wise sexuality, the son needs to know where not to go! v.7-8...

The father doesn’t say, go and try and win her over with wisdom. He doesn’t say, be friends but be careful. He doesn’t say you can talk to her on the doorstep but don’t go in! He says, stay far from her, don’t go near her door!!

If I told you that there was a fire in the men’s toilets, and it was spreading quickly! It was giving off deadly fumes and you needed to stay clear! What would you do? I would imagine we would all stay as far away as possible! We’d find another way to get out of the building. Only a real fool would decide to go down for a closer look, or try to go down past that way to exit! It’s too dangerous!

And so it is with this sexual temptation! It’s deadly!! v.9-10...

When this fire is out of the fireplace, when it’s not kept and nutured and enjoyed in the safety of a marriage relationship, it burns the house down! It ruins everything! Just look at the loss it brings in a person’s life! your honor…your years…your strength…your labour…your life...

Therefore we must stay clear! We must act wisely before our senses our confused! There’s no point asking for wisdom after we’ve knowingly walked into the place of temptation! If you know there is a situation that causes you to struggle more than usual, think through how you stay clear of it, or put safeguards in place in it! If you struggle with the internet or your phone, maybe you need to take out the internet or move to a phone that isn’t a smart phone! Whatever you have to do to stay clear you do, because the stakes couldn’t be higher!!

If there’s a certain person in a

Sex is a wonderful gift of God, but when it is used outside the safety and beauty of marriage, it destroys! Financially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually! It takes everything, and leaves you with nothing! How many lives have we seen destroyed through the abuse of sex!

v.11-14...

When all is said and done, when the excitement and thrill of the forbidden wears off, then you come to your senses! There is a cry, a groan, a howling as you’re faced with the emptiness of it all! And there is deep deep regret!!!

This week I read numerous testimonies of non Christians who bought into the lie that sex could and should be disconnected from a marriage covenant. And the regret was so great! So sad! So deep! What promised much, not only failed to deliver, it actually robbed them!!

"I lived a permissive, fast and reckless lifestyle," said the 27-year-old Morrison, his voice halting at times. "I hope I can serve as a warning that living this lifestyle can really lead to only one thing and that's misery. ... I've never been so stupid in my life. I thought I was bulletproof and I'm not." Tommy Morrison

Maybe you’re here this morning and you have regret in your life because of sexual activity outside of marriage. Maybe in a way you see and feel the damage and loss it has brought! You’re in the right place!! Jesus Christ came to save sexual sinners!! And we all fall into that category in one way or another!! There was only ever one who remained sexually pure, who never fell into lust, who never misused His sexuality, who never viewed others in sexually inappropriate ways! Jesus Christ was tempted in every way as we are, and yet was without sin! And because of that, He was able to bear our sexual sin, when He went to the cross. He was able to satisfy the wrath of God against that sin, to pay the price, and then rise again victorious! And He was able to offer us His perfect righteousness and purity in every area!! So that when we trust in Him, our sin is dealt with, and our righteousness is secure!! What hope for all of us!!!

We may feel on the brink of utter ruin! But He was ruined for us, that we might stand! Welcomed as part of His people!! Maybe this morning you need to turn to Him afresh and allow Him to deal with these areas, or maybe you need to turn for the first time to the only One who can restore that which was lost!!

Wise Sexuality is knowing what neighborhoods to avoid.

Wise Sexuality is drinking deeply & enjoying fully the fountain God has given (v.15-23)

If we were to stop there and say no more, which I think is what we often do, then we’d miss a central part of what God has to say to us! Yes we must be careful, we must see the dangers that are are there, we must see the damage of misusing this gift! But there’s a positive side we dare not forget or we dishonour God!

Sex is His creation, He made us sexual beings and He gave us the gift of sex to express and enjoy that! The image the father uses here is of water. There is a thirst, and the way that thirst can be quenched is by drinking from your own cistern, your own well, your springs, your fountain, these are all sources of water, but they’re all personal! They’re not streams in the street that everyone can come and taste of!

You know like those public drinking fountains, the ones that just taste funny, and other people have mouthed all over before you come to it!

No this is only for you, and the father then identifies this as the wife of your youth.

Here is the place where your thirst can be quenched, here is the confines for where that love and enjoyment of one another sexually can lead to blessedness and rejoicing, rather than groaning and regret! It’s within the safety, and security of marriage! That is the place where this gift can be opened, and enjoyed! That is the place where we can be at our most vulnerable, and not fear judgement! We can be naked and not ashamed!

v.18 is actually a prayer that the father is praying over his son! He is asking God to bless this sexual union when it happens, to make it fruitful, and blessed, and full of passion, joy and satisfaction! Men, if you’re married this morning, your wife is to be the apple of your eye! She is to be the one you delight in, make much of, treasure, and enjoy in the most intimate of ways! You are called to fight the temptation of a forbidden woman, with the increasing joy of drinking deeply from this well! And married woman you are called to the same!!

Why exchange the emptiness, the deadliness of the forbidden, for the joy and satisfaction of the real deal!

It’s like being thirsty and grabbing the nearest bottle of water, it looks good but in reality its warm and unsatisfying! When all the while there is a spring of clean, pure, cold flowing water just round the corner!

And if you’re here today and you’re starting to know that temptation, you’re at the age where you’re feeling those desires. That’s how God has intended it to be, and it’s good! Be excited by that, look forward to that! But remember that only to be used in the setting of marriage! The time will come when it can be enjoyed and delighted in! But don’t be fooled by the lies of today! The offers of quick satisfaction, they hide a deadly hook which will damage you!

I’m also so conscience this morning that for some today you want marriage, you long for this covenant keeping relationship within which you can enjoy this good gift, but at this stage it hasn’t happened yet. Every good gift is from above, and is to be a means of knowing the giver more fully! The gift itself is not the point, He is the point! He is the ultimate satisfaction! Intimacy and joy in Him is what marriage and sex point us to! And He offers that to us in Christ Jesus with or without married! So whether the gift is marriage, or singleness, the offer of intimacy is there. He will always, always give us that which is good, we can rest in that, even though at times we don’t understand!

Finally I realise that for some here married and unmarried, things are not as they should be. This world is marred by sin, and we don’t escape that! In many cases our bodies don’t work as they’re supposed to, we have desires that are not as they should be, we live with a constant reminder of this fallen world! And it makes passages like this difficult, and in some ways torturous! And yet, the Lord is not distant! A man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths! The Lord sees, and He knows, and He has entered into this brokenness in the person of His Son, and because He has, it means great hope for the future! Whatever the struggles now, they are momentary, and they are light in comparison to the eternal weight of glory that will be ours in Christ Jesus! Don’t lose sight of where this is all going!!

Wise sexuality is recognising when honey is bitter, wise sexuality is knowing what neighborhoods to avoid, wise sexuality is drinking deeply and enjoying fully the fountain God has given.