Sermon Tone Analysis

Husbands: Appraise Her Highly! - 1 Peter 3:7

Intro: video by Igniter Originals - “Killer Marriage Tips”

If you follow the marriage advice of Johnny and Chachi, you’re well on your way to winning the worst husband award.

Instead, let’s listen to what scripture has to say, honing in on Peter’s words in our study in the apostle’s first letter.

PRAY

This lesson, about how husbands ought to treat their wives by appraising their high value in God’s sight and in their own relationship, is something that we ought to apply in all our relationships.

Consider husbands first.

Here a couple of simple verses from the wisdom of Proverbs to remind a man of the preciousness of his bride:

If you aren’t married, the principle still stands as a means of dealing with others whom you live with and whom you serve:

Do you recognize the priceless treasure that God has given you?

(in your helpmeet, in your teammate in ministry… whatever it is) - Not being picky, not pandering (to cater to someone vices, base passions), but to rightly esteem that which is precious.

Let’s begin first with the transition from the previous verses to this one:

A Husband’s Submissive Spirit

“Husbands, likewise” - similarly, also… - ***

While submission in the sense of placing oneself under the authority of another is not what is meant here, there is indeed a submissive spirit that is expected of leaders that is consistent with the attitude and sacrificial leadership of Christ.

So when the scripture says…

It does not play out in exactly the same way, but it does indicate the importance of the submissive and sacrificial spirit modeled by our Savior.

In a marriage relationship, men are called to place the best interests of their wives (and children if they have them) above their own.

- The Christian leader does not seek to be honored but to show honor, particularly to those who might be less honored.

The Christian leader does not seek to be served but to serve.

The Christian leader does not ask others to makes sacrifices for them, but rather gives their lives as an ongoing sacrifice for the good of others.

(And such a Christian leader who follows the heart of Christ’s leadership can expect to be in close communion with God.)

(The text continues) Live together with [them… wives, just spoken of in the preceding verses]…

According to Knowledge

“in an understanding way”

J.H. Jowett - “Dwell with your wives according to knowledge.”

[Verse 7] How shall we describe the characteristic?

[...] We may grasp its content by proclaiming its opposite: “Dwell with your wives according to ignorance.

Just walk in blindness.

Don’t look beyond your own desires.

Let your vision be entirely introspective and microscopic.

Never exercise your eyes in clear and comprehensive outlook.

Dwell in ignorance!”

No, says the apostle, “dwell according to knowledge.”

Keep your eyes open.

Let reason be alert and active.

Let all your behaviour be governed by a sweet reasonableness.

Don’t let appetite determine a doing.

Don’t let [your] personal wish have the first and last word.

[…] Be thoughtful and unceasingly considerate.

2 ways to look at this, perhaps both are intended:

Knowledge of God’s will for your marriage

Husbands, then, should live together with wives informed by the knowledge of God’s will, of what he demands them to do.

Knowledge of your spouse

The ‘knowledge’ Peter intends here may include any knowledge that would be beneficial to the husband-wife relationship: knowledge of God’s purposes and principles for marriage; knowledge of the wife’s desires, goals, and frustrations; knowledge of her strengths and weaknesses in the physical, emotional and spiritual realms; etc.

To live with one’s wife according to knowledge must also mean that a husband is acutely aware of whose vessel/instrument his wife ultimately is… She is the Lord’s.

… which informs this next emphasis:

Treat Her As Precious

Scene from Disney’s Aladdin [genie image]

Aladdin: But there is something.

Genie: Uh-oh.

Seen that face before.

Who is she?

Who’s the girl?

Aladdin: She’s a princess.

Genie: Aw, aren’t they all?

Treat your woman like a queen, I always say.

Aladdin: No. No, she’s an actual princess.

the admonition to husbands to honor their wives is unique in Greco-Roman literature.

Showing - Assigning, rendering as due (to give something as is proper or just) … in other words, SHE IS WORTHY OF IT!

Appraised Value [image]

Honor - value; price - the state of being highly respected (esteem and dignity) - Refers to the worth or merit of something, the amount at which it is valued.

—> NEVER demeaning!

(Not overlooked, under appreciated, disdained, etc.)

She is to be treasured, not used.

- True intimate friendship… spending time, talking, praying… leading and loving with caring concern for her wellbeing and with sensitivity.

In this case such honour ought to include kind and affirming words both privately and in public, and high priority in choices regarding the use of one’s time and money.

Handle With Care

As the woman (literally “the female” or “the feminine one” - emphasis on her femininity)... is the “weaker” vessel - The NT in fact often uses vessel to refer to… a human being exercising a function, instrument, vessel - Acts 9:15, 2Co 4:7, Ro 9:22 [cf Jer 27:25, Ro 9:23, 1Pe 3:7, 1Th 4:4] and...

Again, there’s nothing demeaning in the term vessel.

And “weaker” is a term that means to lack capacity for something.

It can be used of illness and even moral weakness, but in half its NT uses it simply refers to lacking physical strength in some capacity.

Ray Pritchard writes that…

“weaker vessel” is similar to our word “vase.”

This particular word was used of priceless, fragile china.

It was also used of sacred vessels used in the temple for the worship of God.

When Peter calls the wife the “weaker” vessel, he is not referring to moral character or to intellectual ability or to spiritual perception.

It certainly does not refer to outward beauty.

It refers primarily to the difference in physical strength between men and women.

A man who takes that fully into account may end up doing some very odd things.

[in order to show his wife how highly she is esteemed by him]

Husbands, all of this amounts to the fact that your goal is to protect and provide, and to nurture her:

Wiersbe: The husband should treat his wife like an expensive, beautiful, fragile vase, in which is a precious treasure.

After they get married, many a husband forgets to be kind and gentlemanly and starts taking his wife for granted.

He forgets that happiness in a home is made up of many little things, including the small courtesies of life.

Big resentments often grow out of small hurts.

Husbands and wives need to be honest with each other, admit hurts, and seek for forgiveness and healing.

“Giving honor to the wife” does not mean “giving in to the wife.”

A husband can disagree with his wife and still respect and honor her.

As the spiritual leader in the home, the husband must sometimes make decisions that are not popular; but he can still act with courtesy and respect.

“Grant honor” means that the husband respects his wife’s feelings, thinking, and desires.

He may not agree with her ideas, but he respects them.

Often God balances a marriage so that the husband needs what the wife has in her personality, and she likewise needs his good qualities.

An impulsive husband often has a patient wife, and this helps to keep him out of trouble!

The husband must be the “thermostat” in the home, setting the emotional and spiritual temperature.

The wife often is the “thermometer,” letting him know what that temperature is!

Both are necessary.

The husband who is sensitive to his wife’s feelings will not only make her happy, but will also grow himself and help his children live in a home that honors God.

Fellow Heirs

“of the grace of life” - In Peter, this almost certainly refers to the fact that we both have equal access by grace through faith to the same eternal inheritance.