Declaring God's Praises at Home

“Almost all of our relationships begin and most of them continue as forms of mutual exploitation, a mental or physical barter, to be terminated when one or both parties run out of goods.” W. H. Auden

“Almost all of our relationships begin and most of them continue as forms of mutual exploitation, a mental or physical barter, to be terminated when one or both parties run out of goods.”

1 Peter 3:1–22 ESV

1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 10 For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; 11 let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. 12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” 13 Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? 14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, 15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, 16 having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. 17 For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil. 18 For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit, 19 in which he went and proclaimed to the spirits in prison, 20 because they formerly did not obey, when God’s patience waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was being prepared, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through water. 21 Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you, not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a good conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 22 who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers having been subjected to him.

1 Peter 3:1

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1 Peter 3:1–7 ESV

1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Transition: This chapter continues the primary concerns of Peter for his friends—their reactions and responses to one another and to their neighbors and friends who do not know Christ. He was concerned about our ability to maintain a positive testimony on behalf of Jesus Christ in the day-to-day interactions of our lives.

Everyone can appear Christian on Sunday but what about the day to day? When rubber meets the road? When things get serious? What is our conduct in front of a hell bound world?

When rubber meets the road?

(v1) “Likewise” - in the same way or in a like manner (there are two of them… one for women in verse 1 and for men in verse 7)

Likewise what?

When things get serious?

What is our conduct in front of a hell bound world?

1 Peter 2:21–25 ESV

21 For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. 22 He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. 23 When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. 24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. 25 For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

We have been called to be “in the same way (likewise)” like Christ.

SUPPORTING IDEA: Marriage is a two-way relationship. Both husbands and wives must fulfill their respective roles.

1 Peter 3:1–7 ESV

1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

SUPPORTING IDEA: Marriage is a two-way relationship. Both husbands and wives must fulfill their respective roles.

Peter turns to the domestic problems which Christianity inevitably produced. It was inevitable that one marriage partner might be won for Christ while the other remained untouched by the appeal of the gospel—and such a situation inevitably had difficulties.

It may seem strange that Peter’s advice to wives is six times as long as that offered to husbands. This is because the wife’s position was far more difficult than that of the husband. If a husband became a Christian, he would automatically bring his wife with him into the Church and there would be no problem. But if a wife became a Christian while her husband did not, she was taking a step which was unprecedented and which produced the most acute problems.

Peter turns to the domestic problems which Christianity inevitably produced. It was inevitable that one marriage partner might be won for Christ while the other remained untouched by the appeal of the gospel—and such a situation inevitably had difficulties.

Under Roman law, a woman had no rights. In law, she remained forever a child. When she remained with her father she was under the patria potestas, the father’s power, which gave the father the right even of life and death over her; and when she married, she passed equally into the power of her husband. She was entirely subject to her husband and completely at his mercy.

Cato the Censor, the typical ancient Roman, wrote: ‘If you were to catch your wife in an act of infidelity, you can kill her with impunity without a trial.’

Under Roman law, a woman had no rights. In law, she remained forever a child. When she remained with her father she was under the patria potestas, the father’s power, which gave the father the right even of life and death over her; and when she married, she passed equally into the power of her husband. She was entirely subject to her husband and completely at his mercy. Cato the Censor, the typical ancient Roman, wrote: ‘If you were to catch your wife in an act of infidelity, you can kill her with impunity without a trial.’ Roman wives were prohibited from drinking wine, and Egnatius beat his wife to death when he found her doing so. Sulpicius Gallus dismissed his wife because she had once appeared in the streets without a veil. Antistius Vetus divorced his wife because he saw her secretly speaking to a freed woman in public. Publius Sempronius Sophus divorced his wife because once she went to the public games. The whole attitude of ancient civilization was that no woman could dare take any decision for herself.

Roman wives were prohibited from drinking wine, and Egnatius beat his wife to death when he found her doing so. Sulpicius Gallus dismissed his wife because she had once appeared in the streets without a veil. Antistius Vetus divorced his wife because he saw her secretly speaking to a freed woman in public. Publius Sempronius Sophus divorced his wife because once she went to the public games.

The whole attitude of ancient civilization was that no woman could dare take any decision for herself.

How then, being in such a position, should a wife influence her husband and win his soul to Christ?

You win your spouse by your conduct.

The attitude and actions of husbands (v. 7)

They are not won by what they hear but by what they see.

Its important to look at what Peter does not advise.

They are not won by what they hear.

They are won by what they see.

He does not advise the wife to leave her husband. In this, he takes exactly the same attitude as Paul takes (). Both Paul and Peter are quite sure that the Christian wife must remain with the non-Christian husband as long as he does not send her away. Peter does not tell the wife to preach or to argue. He does not tell her to insist that there is no difference between slave and free, Gentile and Jew, male and female, but that all are the same in the presence of the Christ whom she has come to know (cf. ).

He does not advise the wife to leave her husband. In this, he takes exactly the same attitude as Paul takes (). Both Paul and Peter are quite sure that the Christian wife must remain with the non-Christian husband as long as he does not send her away.

It may seem strange that Peter’s advice to wives is six times as long as that offered to husbands. This is because the wife’s position was far more difficult than that of the husband. If a husband became a Christian, he would automatically bring his wife with him into the Church and there would be no problem. But if a wife became a Christian while her husband did not, she was taking a step which was unprecedented and which produced the most acute problems.

Peter does not tell the wife to preach or to argue.

He does not tell her to insist that there is no difference between slave and free, Gentile and Jew, male and female, but that all are the same in the presence of the Christ whom she has come to know (cf. ).

He tells her something very simple—nothing else than to be a good wife.

She must be submissive (voluntary selflessness)

He tells her something very simple—nothing else than to be a good wife. It is by the silent preaching of the loveliness of her life that she must break down the barriers of prejudice and hostility, and win her husband for her new Master.

voluntary selflessness

She must be pure

She must be reverent

1 Peter 3:3–4 ESV

3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

1 Peter 3:

1 Peter 3:3–5 ESV

3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,

These verses do not ban grooming or beauty aids, but they do put these adornments in proper perspective.

Do not fall for the “easy amen sermons” Read and study the Bible in context!

Too many pastors or teachers rail against today verse “the old days” and how you need to follow certain steps to be more holy (holy according to their definition). Read the Bible in context! Obey it and it alone.

If a woman relies only on these kinds of things to make her beautiful, she will miss the greater value of inner beauty.

This beauty, available to all women, is much deeper and more valued by God.

This beauty, available to all women, is much deeper and more valued by God. This beautiful character is described as having a gentle and quiet spirit.

This beautiful character is described as having a gentle and quiet spirit.

The supreme characteristic of the “gentle” woman is that she lives under perfect control.

She is not given to panic, but exudes great strength.

“Quiet,” too, suggests being under control. It also means “to evidence a calming influence.” Together, the two words speak of strength of character, strong self-control, describing a person of quiet elegance and dignity.

(v. 5) An example of this kind of woman is Sarah, Abraham’s wife.

Sarah is singled out as the primary example of a woman who was submissive to her husband. Sarah obeyed Abraham. (Note: not blindly or foolishly)

Sarah is singled out as the primary example of a woman who was submissive to her husband. Sarah obeyed Abraham. The verb used here can mean “to listen to someone.” Translated this way, it fits well with the idea of submission, in that it indicates Sarah took an interest in her husband’s conversation and articulated his needs and desires. Apparently, she responded to them in an appropriate manner throughout the course of their married life.

The verb used here can mean “to listen to someone.”

Translated this way, Sarah took an interest in her husband’s life and conversation and articulated his needs and desires. Apparently, she responded to them in an appropriate manner throughout the course of their married life.

She called him “lord.....or master”. Nothing to get bent out of shape about. In context, she showed respect to him. It was a proper term similar to husband today.

(v. 6) Sarah willingly accepted a nomadic life, following her husband into unknown and uncharted territories. Scripture encourages Christian wives to follow Sarah’s example. Thus, they do good.

She willingly accepted a nomadic life, following her husband into unknown and uncharted territories. Scripture encourages Christian wives to follow Sarah’s example. Thus, they do what is right. This summarizes the first six verses. The end of verse 6 adds a caveat: their behavior toward their husbands should not give way to fear. Submission to husbands should not arise from fear or intimidation. Christian women should not be bullied or forced into this kind of behavior by their husbands. This provides the bridge to verse 7 that speaks to the role and response of the husband. Obviously, Scripture is concerned about marriage as a mutual relationship, not a one-way relationship.

This summarizes the first six verses. The end of verse 6 adds a caveat: their behavior toward their husbands should not give way to fear. Submission to husbands should not arise from fear or intimidation. Christian women should not be bullied or forced into this kind of behavior by their husbands. This provides the bridge to verse 7 that speaks to the role and response of the husband. Obviously, Scripture is concerned about marriage as a mutual relationship, not a one-way relationship.

This is NOT two separate set of directions

“Likewise” - In the same way refers again to the duty of submission (2:13, 18; 3:1). Textually and contextually we cannot dismiss the afore mentioned verses just because he was speaking directly to women. Peter chooses not to repeat himself and continues the same thought but now refers to men.

This time it is the believing husband who submits to serve his wife.

Husbands obey that duty by adhering to three basic responsibilities in caring for their wives’ needs.

Do not be a “jerk-face”

First, husbands are to live with their wives in an understanding way, which means they must be considerate. Understanding speaks of being sensitive and considering the wife’s deepest physical and emotional needs.

The word translated live (sunoikountes) means “dwelling together” and refers to living with someone in intimacy and cherishing them. Believing husbands must constantly nourish and cherish their wives in the bond of intimacy:

Eph

Ephesians 5:25–28 ESV

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

The word translated live (sunoikountes) means “dwelling together” and refers to living with someone in intimacy and cherishing them. Believing husbands must constantly nourish and cherish their wives in the bond of intimacy:

A believing husband should also be chivalrous to his wife, realizing she is someone weaker, since she is a woman.

Just as submission does not imply inherent inferiority for the ones who submit (see the discussion of verse 1 of this passage), so the word weaker does not mean the wife is intrinsically weaker in character or intellect than her husband.

The word (rendered “weaker vessel” by the King James and New King James translators) also does not mean that women are spiritually inferior to men (cf. ). It just means that women generally possess less physical strength than men.

With that in mind, Christian husbands are the sacrificial providers and protectors of their wives (cf. ; , ; ; ), whether or not the wives are believers.

The husband is to be a companion for his wife as a fellow heir sharing in the grace of life (marriage).

Your marriage is called the “grace of life”

the husband is to be a companion for his wife as a fellow heir sharing in the grace of life, which refers not to eternal life, but to the true and intimate friendship that belongs only to those who are possessors of God’s most blessed gift in this life

Marriage is a divine providence given to man regardless of his attitude toward the Giver.

Marriage is a divine providence given to man regardless of his attitude toward the Giver. Intimate companionship in marriage, the richest blessing of this life, was a foreign concept to the Greco-Roman culture of Peter’s day. Husbands were generally uninterested in friendship with their wives, expecting them to merely maintain the household and bear children. In contrast, the Christian husband is to cultivate all the richness God designed into the grace of marriage by showing honor to his wife in loving consideration, chivalry, and companionship.

Intimate companionship in marriage is one of the richest blessings of this life,

It was a foreign concept to the Greco-Roman culture of Peter’s day. Husbands were generally uninterested in friendship with their wives, expecting them to merely maintain the household and bear children.

In contrast, the Christian husband is to cultivate all the richness God designed into the grace of marriage by showing honor to his wife in loving consideration, chivalry, and companionship.

They are won by what they see. 2. Relationships in the Church (vv. 8–12)

Team work (v. 8)

Team spirit (v. 8)

Team speech (vv. 9–12)

Life in normal circumstances (v. 13)

Life in abnormal circumstances (vv. 14–17)

Suffering for right (v. 14)

Responses that are right (vv. 14b–16)

A principle to remember (v. 17)

c. Illustrating the Principle (vv. 18–22)

The suffering and victory of Christ (vv. 18–20a)

The security of Noah (vv. 20b–21)

The supremacy of Christ (v. 22)

Declaring God's Praises at Home

Introduction

I. Relationships in Marriage (vv. 1–7)

The Attitudes and Actions of Wives

a. You win your spouse by your conduct (vv. 1-2)

b. The value inner adornment (v. 3-5)

c. Living the example of

The Attitudes and Actions of Husbands

a. Husbands are to be Considerate (3:7a)

b. Husbands are to be Chivalrous (3.7b)

c. Husbands are to offer Companionship (3:7c)

The key to having a positive witness to an unsaved spouse (context of the 1 Peter 3:1-7) is living an exemplary Christian life as a faithful, submissive spouse. That obedience pleases God and provides the testimony that honors Jesus Christ before the unsaved partner.

2. Relationships in the Church (vv. 8–12)

3. Relationships with Those Outside the Church (vv. 13–22)