I'm Sorry
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// INTRO
// INTRO
VIDEO: “SQUAD BUMPER”
Series: SQUAD; talking about #friendshipgoals
talking about #friendshipgoals
“A man without a vision for his future, will always return to his past.”
to have better friendships:
we need to be the friend we want to have
we need to serve others first
we need to love the least of these
Bible Plan on YouVersion
Bible Plan on YouVersion
Key Verse:
Key Verse:
13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
“I’m Sorry” can be two of the most powerful words spoken in a relationship. We are all messy humans and it’s inevitable that we get in some messes.
How we clean up that mess will determine the strength of that relationship going forward.
VIDEO: HOW TO CLEAN A STAIN ON A COUCH
// MESSES HAPPEN
// MESSES HAPPEN
Have you ever done something that hurt a friend? Was it intentional or an accident?
Intentional Hurt
Intentional Hurt
16 There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: 17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, 18 a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, 19 a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.
There is no place for intentional hurt in a relationship
Intentional Hurt is something that God says is detestable to Him
Unintentional Hurt
Unintentional Hurt
Accidents Happen!
gives us some steps to follow is someone has sinned or offended you
Go to him in private, if he doesn’t listen
Go to him with 1-2 others, if he doesn’t listen
Take him before the church, if he doesn’t listen
They are to be removed from the group
When approaching someone about an offense, you must approach with humility
// FORGIVENESS HEALS ALL
// FORGIVENESS HEALS ALL
Forgive: to stop blaming or taking an offense into an account
Offense is a Choice
Offense is a Choice
you choose how you see people
you choose how you love people
you choose whether you want to be mad about something
Dad used to say, “siblings can’t make you mad”
23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld.”
Overcoming Offense
Overcoming Offense
16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
Prayer will help you overcome your offense towards someone
brings healing
has great power
// THE PARABLE OF THE UNFORGIVING SERVANT
// THE PARABLE OF THE UNFORGIVING SERVANT
; right after “If your brother sins against you
How many times should we forgive someone? unlimited
21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Jewish Rabbis of that day would say, “forgive someone 3 times”
Jesus saying, seventy times seven, was saying “unlimited”
says, “love keeps no record of wrongs.”
NEED THREE (3) VOLUNTEERS/ACTORS
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (; right after “If your brother sins against you)
23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants.
24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.
25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made.
26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’
27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.
28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’
29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’
30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.
31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place.
32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.
33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’
34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt.
35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
Matthew 18:23
We’ve Been Forgiven An Unpayable Debt
We’ve Been Forgiven An Unpayable Debt
Servant 1 Debt: 12 Talents — $12 Million - $1 Billion
the servant asked for patience
what he really needed was compassion - there’s no way he had enough time in his life to pay off that debt
Servant 2 Debt: 100 Denari — 100 days wages
the servant made the same plea for patience
then servant 1 put servant 2 in a debtor’s prison
The King catches wind of this and is furious. He throws servant 1 to the tortures until he can repay the unpayable debt.
35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
Forgiveness Has To Come From The Heart
Forgiveness Has To Come From The Heart
Forgiveness is not just words, but it is a heart change towards someone.
In the same way that the servant was delivered to the torturers because of his unforgiveness, God will deliver people to be tortured in Hell because of their unforgiveness.
God’s Forgiveness Towards Us
12 as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
Psa
14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
We have all messed up and offended God, whether on accident or intentionally.
The reality is that He forgave us, and asks us to forgive others.
Forgiveness is For the Giver, and the Receiver
Forgiveness is For the Giver, and the Receiver
Because forgiveness deals with the heart of the offended, forgiveness brings healing to the offender and offended.
If someone fails to receive or give forgiveness — bitterness sets in
15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;
Joyce Meyers says,
“Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
If God can forgive it, so can I
Key Verse:
13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
Closing Prayer
Huddles
The Bible tells us, “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” What do you think that means? What kind of things is it talking about?
Have you ever given forgiveness to someone and felt the “healing” qualities the Bible speaks about?
Is your reaction to hurt or offense in your life an attempt to seek revenge? To wound the person who has wounded you? If so, explain how you feel that getting revenge or wounding your offender would resolve your problem. Would that resolution bring lasting peace, or only add to your pain as a victim?
How does unforgiveness compare to drinking poison and hoping someone else will die?