Type 9 -- The Peacemaker
A Word on Love...
We begin our consideration of the nine types of the Enneagram with Type 9 — The Peacemaker
When Healthy:
When Average:
When Unhealthy:
Nine’s Deadly Sin:
The deadly sin of Nines is sloth, a word we usually associate with physical laziness. The sloth of Nines, however, is spiritual in nature. Average Nines are disconnected from the passion and motivational drive necessary to rise up and live their “one wild and precious life.” Immature Nines don’t fully connect to the fire in the belly they need to chase after their God-given life and, as a result, fail to become their own person. But tapping into those fiery passions and instinctual drives would upset the inner peace and equilibrium the Nine treasures above almost everything else. And now we’re closer to the truth. For Nines, sloth has to do with their desire to not be overly bothered by life. They literally don’t want life to get to them.
You can’t lay claim to your life unless you have guts, unless you have access to your animating instinctual fire. But Nines are slothful when it comes to fully paying attention to their own lives, figuring out what they want in life, chasing their dreams, addressing their own needs, developing their own gifts and pursuing their calling. They cling to and protect their “Hakuna Matata” inner harmony. They ask little of life and hope life returns the favor.
A Nine thinks, Why rock the boat when nothing I say or do ever seems to make much of a difference in the world anyway? Wouldn’t it be easier and more comfortable not to assert my priorities and take the path of least resistance? As you can imagine there is often a hint of resignation in the air around Nines. Sadly, they pay a price for their “go along to get along” philosophy of life and not pursuing a life worthy of their gifts and spirit. They fall asleep to their lives.
Working with 9’s:
Position available for even-keeled, reliable, enthusiastic team player to work in harmonious environment. Approachable and diplomatic, this person must be able to get along with a wide range of people. Those who enjoy stirring up controversies or playing office politics need not apply.
If this want ad were to appear on LinkedIn there would be a mile-long queue of Nines clamoring to get an interview. It might even occasion an outbreak of violence among this usually peaceful population.
Healthy Nines are great workers and colleagues. Some have partners who believe in them and dedicate their lives to help them live into their potential (e.g., Nancy Reagan, Hillary Clinton). Supportive, nonjudgmental and inclusive, they build bridges and bring people together in a spirit of cooperation. Many Nines tell Suzanne and me they aren’t particularly ambitious, though some are. They don’t covet the corner office or need a big expense account. If they have a good job with reasonable pay and perks, they’re content to stay where they are. Because they’re able to see multiple points of view, Nines can solve problems and put together deals where everyone wins.
Nines draw their energy and derive a sense of identity from the group, so they would rather merge with the team and share the credit for a success than go out of their way to shine the spotlight on themselves to advance their career. They like a little recognition but mostly fly under the radar so as not to draw too much attention to themselves. What if their accomplishments at work lead to a change in duties or being assigned more work? When an opportunity for advancement comes up, Nines might pursue it—but only when they’re ready. For the most part Nines aren’t high-energy people, and they don’t like feeling controlled or pressured to perform.
Creatures of habit, Nines appreciate structure, predictability and routine in the workplace. Nines don’t like to bring work home, and they definitely don’t like interruptions on weekends or vacation.
Like all Strengths, the 8’s Concern for Justice has a shadow side:
The Spiritual Life of a 9:
If the goal of the spiritual life is the realization of union with God, then healthy Nines’ ability to merge gives them a spiritual leg up on the rest of us. When it comes to attaining a unitive knowledge of God and becoming “one with Christ,” healthy Nines almost always cross the finish line first. They’re natural contemplatives.
Nines are open and receptive in every way. Even as kids, they seem to possess an innate awareness of the sacramental dimension of the world. They have a profound awareness of the interconnectedness of all things in creation. Lovers of the outdoors, they pick up on the presence of God in the natural world and how everything expresses God’s glory. Because they value being over doing, Nines know how to rest in God’s love and share themselves more generously than the rest of us. And because Nines are able to see both sides to everything, they’re comfortable with paradox and mystery, which comes in handy when it comes to dealing with a religion that includes a virgin birth and a God who is both Three and One at the same time. If you’re a Nine, be encouraged: when healthy, your capacity for merging can place you in the same league as other great Nine spiritual leaders
But Nines resist the unsafe nature of real spiritual transformation. If you’re a Peacemaker, your greatest motivation in life has been to avoid conflict and experience inner harmony, but what looks like peace is really just your desire to be unaffected by life. Spiritually, the absence of conflict is not the presence of peace, which requires work and risk. If nothing else, Nines should hear these words: Wake up and say yes to the adventure of your own life!
Nines are as important and as deserving of becoming their own person as everybody else is. It’s their birthright. Waking up will involve reclaiming personal authority and responsibility for their life. It will mean finding and resurrecting their own thoughts, passions, opinions, dreams, ambitions and desires. This will be scary. They’ll have to stop hiding and drafting behind other people. If Nines love themselves as much as they love other people, they will allow themselves to go on this adventure of becoming their own person. Paradoxically, the road to peace and harmony is littered with conflict and disharmony. Scrupulously avoid anything that promises a life of peace and tranquility without conflict or pain. Whatever it is will probably end you up in rehab.
Nines don’t like to admit it, but they’re angry. I get it. I’d be angry too if I repeatedly felt overlooked. They’re angry for the sacrifices they’ve made to keep the peace and hold relationships together, but when they get the urge to stand up for themselves or act on their own behalf, they don’t do it. Nines are afraid if they let their stored anger out it’s going to hurt or kill someone, but that’s not true. It might lead to conflict, which you can survive, but not homicide. Nines need to know that when they discover right action and move toward it, a feeling of self-worth will emerge in them. And others will notice and cheer them on as well. When this happens, they can stand and build on it so they don’t have to slip away from themselves ever again.
The healing message Nines need to hear is “We see you and your life matters.” God didn’t invite you to this party to live someone else’s life. We need you here!
Relating to and with a 9:
Nines need lots of affirmation and affection, so if a Nine has the strength to say an honest “no” to you, let them know how much you appreciate their honesty and that you aren’t going away, regardless of their response. Here are some other things to keep in mind in relationships with Nines:
• Nines have their own desires and dreams and preferences—encourage them to name them.
• Encourage Nines to develop their own identity in relationship with you.
• Nines appreciate, and perhaps need, a peaceful environment.
• Nines both want and need alone time, their own space, and independence.
• Avoid saying, “Don’t you think we should ___________?” The answer will almost always be yes, and it will often not be what the Nine thinks or wants. Instead, try asking, “Do you think we should ___________?”
• Focus on what Nines do as opposed to what they forget or fail to do.
• Don’t interrupt when Nines are talking. Make room for them to meander a bit—they will get to the point.
• Remember that Nines have a generous spirit. If you aren’t mindful, it is easy to take advantage of them.
• Nines don’t like confrontation, but that doesn’t mean you should never confront them. Opposing points of view are part of life.
• Encourage Nines to share their grievances with you.
• Nines want clear, direct communication regarding what’s expected of them.
• When a Nine is distracted by nonessentials, you can redirect their energy by asking questions.
• Remember this: agreement doesn’t always lead to participation, and when Nines do participate it doesn’t necessarily indicate commitment.
• Nines don’t make personal decisions quickly, and they don’t usually want your help.