Dealing with Loneliness: How God Satisfies the Restlessness of our Soul
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Introduction
Introduction
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
-Blaise Pascal
This point needs to be emphasized. Many times, our issues with loneliness are simplified, being told that if we just pray enough then everything will be okay. While it is true that God’s satisfaction can surpass and satisfy the depths of our soul, we cannot ignore the importance of companionship to our life.
There is so much truth in this statement that is relevant to our modern lives. If there was a single word that I could chose to describe our society is distraction. We are heavily distracted with menial things in life. Technology distracts us. Work can be a distraction. School can often be a distraction. The busyness of life is a distraction in itself.
However, the question must be asked: what are we distracted from? We are the richest, most abundant society in the history of the world, yet we see increases in suicide, depression, and loneliness. We are too preoccupied with the cares of this world that we have ignored the existential needs of the soul.
Read: the samaritan woman.
7 A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” 8 (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) 9 The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) 10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” 11 The woman said to him, “Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? 12 Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.” 13 Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
Causes of Loneliness
Causes of Loneliness
Every single person here has experience the thirst of loneliness.
Loneliness is man’s existential dilemma.
-Ravi Zacharias
It makes us feel empty and vulnerable, it makes us feel like there is no purpose in life. It can lead to depressed lives.
Causes of Loneliness
Causes of Loneliness
Causes of Loneliness
Traumatic Relational Experiences
Death
Break up
Moving to a new school
Societal Design
The nature of school
The nature of work
The nature of community
The nature of family
Societal Design
Lack of Purpose and Meaning in Life
Technology
Isolation
Technological addiction
Time wasting
Lack of character formation and virtue
At the root of all of this, however, is a deeper issue that must be addressed, which is that we have lost understanding on what it means to be a human being. Until we understand what it means to be a human being, and how we as humans are to operate in this world, we will always fail to satisfy the deep issues of life.
What does it mean to be human?
What does it mean to be human?
Are we just random products of evolutionary development? Or are we something more?
For too long we have been dreaming a dream from which we are now waking up: the dream that if we just improve the socioeconomic situation of people, everything will be okay, people will become happy. The truth is that as the struggle for survival has subsided, the question has emerged: survival for what? Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for.
Viktor Vrankl, The Unheard Cry for Meaning: Psychotherapy and Humanism
If atheism is true, then we are a cosmic accident with no grand purpose and no grand meaning. Companionship and relationship are just a means of survival and nothing more.
It means to be made in the image of God.
It means to be made in the image of God.
27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
To be made in the image of God means that you reflect the nature of God. You were made to reflect God’s nature.
You have intrinsic value.
This means you have intrinsic value.
have intrinsic value.
You reflect his
God’s nature is triune. There is perfect companionship between God the father, God the son, and the Holy Spirit.
This also means that we reflect his nature. God exists in perfect relationship within the trinity, and because we reflect him, so we also desire to experience true relationship.
20 “I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, 21 that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one,
It is because we reflect God’s nature that we are made for companionship. There is an ontological reality to our companionship.
It means that you are both material and immaterial.
It means that you are both material and immaterial.
By material, it is meant that we have a physical body. By immaterial, it means that we have non-physical faculties, like the conscience, heart, and spirit.
Our modern day society usually favors one or the other, but not both.
The believer says: Who I am determines what I do.
Material is favored when discussing issues of science and medicine.
Immaterial is favored in moral issues and values.
However, to be human does not mean to be a soul with a body, or a body with a soul. You are a soul with both material and immaterial realities. Both must be addressed. You will experience loneliness in the flesh, but also in the soul.
A good illustration is found in the creation story.
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
Up until this point in the creation story, God had declared everything to be good. Yet it is when he sees Adam’s solitude that he first declares something as not good. My question is: Was Adam in perfect communion with God, or had he sinned for something to be deemed not good?
God provided Adam with a wife, not because he lacked satisfaction in God, but because he was supplying the physical needs of Adam as well.
It means that you were made with a purpose.
It means that you were made with a purpose.
There are but few more disheartening things to see in modern society than the lack of purpose in the life of people. Man cannot live without purpose, for it will produce the emptiest of lives, and ultimately, take away our will to live.
However, the fact that we feel bothered when purpose lacks in our life shows that we do have a purpose. Look at the words of Paul:
10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
The existentialist says: what I do determines who I am.
It says that we were created with a purpose. But how do you determine your purpose?
The existentialist/humanist/atheist says: what I do determines who I am. In other words, you make your own purpose. This is the pattern of the world. When has this ever worked?
The Christian says: Who I am determines what I do. You are a child of God, made in his image, and your purpose is to reflect the image of God through your life, actions, and character.
Christianity not only gives us an eternal destiny, but an earthly purpose as well.
Humanity and the Struggles of the Soul
Humanity and the Struggles of the Soul
The Shortcomings of Humanity
The Shortcomings of Humanity
When we take on look at our society, it is easy to see how these three basic aspects of human nature have been neglected from our society.
Education has ignored the formation of character and the inculcation of virtue in the students.
Work places have ignored our need for meaning, purpose, and balance and have aroused our desire and greed.
Communities have ignored our need for companionship and experience.
Families have ignored the need for discipline and education.
Churches point us to God, but many fail to cultivate an atmosphere of community.
However, we cannot just blame society. When we take a look at our lives, we also see where we have fallen short as humans.
Because of this, young peo
We have failed to reflect God to the world.
We have failed to address our material and immaterial needs.
We have failed to give our lives a true purpose.
What the Existential Desires of the Soul Reveal
What the Existential Desires of the Soul Reveal
The deep struggles that you may experience in life are more than just mood. It requires more than just an easy fix. They serve as a signpost, a signal that our souls are incomplete, depraved of true satisfaction.
Loneliness is not just a mood. It is a response of our soul. It is a check engine light that tells us something is wrong inside of us. However, if we ignore our human nature, we will seek to satisfy these desires in all the wrong places. This is why we must understand what it truly means to be human, because until we understand that we are creatures dependent on a creator, we will always look to creation to be satisfied rather that the source of all creation!
They serve as a signpost, a signal that our souls are incomplete.
How do we know that our satisfaction is found in God?
We dont desire companionship, we desire true companionship.
We dont desire love, we desire true love.
We dont desire purpose, we desire true purpose.
The moment you involve truth as a requisite for satisfaction, you are invoking something outside of you to meet your demand. And because truth by definition is objective, its source must be found in God.
Because we are imperfect beings in an imperfect world, the best we can possibly do is receive glimpses of the taste of satisfaction, but we will never be truly satisfied.
The Christian says, “Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water. Men feel sexual desire: well, there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for the something else of which they are only a kind of copy, or echo, or mirage. I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that other country and to help others to do the same.”
Lewis, C.S.. Mere Christianity.
How does Jesus solve the issue of the soul?
How does Jesus solve the issue of the soul?
Many philosophers and religious thinkers have attempted to address the issues at hand. The reason that they all fall short is because none of them can fully address and mend the aches of our soul. Jesus is the only one who addresses the needs of our entire soul.
He restores our nature to one that reflects God.
He restores our nature to one that reflects God.
10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.
18 And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians
He addresses our material needs.
He addresses our material needs.
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
He addresses loneliness through the family and church.
Up until this point, everything in the creation had been deemed good. It is not until God sees the loneliness of Adam that he first deems something as not good. The question is, when did God decree this not good? Was it before the fall? Or after the fall? In fact, it was before the fall, while Adam still had perfect communion with God.
Even with perfect communion, God still saw a need in Adam, a need for physical companionship. Therefore, he provided Adam with an ideal helper, not to satisfy him, but to complement him.
God created social structures, families, and the church community to help address our need for companionship. However, the must be pursued in a godly manner.
He addresses our immaterial needs.
He addresses our immaterial needs.
8 Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man!
9 For he satisfies the longing soul,
and the hungry soul he fills with good things.
22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
It is through Christ that our immaterial needs are met. There is an emptiness in our lives, caused by sin, but only remedied by the work of our creator.
Ephesians 4:
4 Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
15 As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness;
when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness.
20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
He expects a certain charac
35 Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.
He gives us an eternal purpose.
He gives us an eternal purpose.
10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
5 who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, 5 who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Conclusion
Conclusion
You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.
-St. Augustine
If you are experiencing loneliness, there are two things required of you.
First, find meaningful connections with other believers in Christ.
Second, find satisfaction in God by worshipping him with your life.
1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
3 Struggles in search for meaning
We are confused between eternity and finality.
We have eternity in heart, finality in experience
We are confused between personal and impersonal.
We have a desire for personal needs, but the world treats us impersonally.
We are confused between freedom in slavery.
The more we seek freedom, the more enslaved we become.
The answer to life is someone who can deal with these three issues. God:
He is an eternal God, who offers
Personal relationship, who
Gives strength to truly be free
It is because we are made in the image of God that we seek an eternal satisfaction.
It is because of sin that we lack satisfaction.
What does this tell us about what it means to be human?
First, on a basic level, it tells us that we are social creatures meant for interaction
What is the fix?
We dont just seek companionship, we seek true companionship.
We dont just seek love, we seek true love.
we dont just seek purpose, we seek true purpose.
The moment you bring truth into the discussion, you automatically invoke something outside of you to fulfill something within you.
Second, it tells us that our souls are incomplete.
The Ontological Need for Companionship