Abuse

Taboo • Sermon • Submitted 5 years ago

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We live in the time when many have become deceived about the nature of God, humanity, and life and have been led away from the truth. This departure from the truth has opened the door to abuse. The promise is that God will finish his redemptive work and put and end to the injustice and evil of abuse.

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[SLIDE 1] Introduction

Taboo: Seven Things The Church Needs to Talk About

[SLIDE 2] Today: Abuse

Suffer in silence, shame

Live in denial

[SLIDE 3] These Days: Understanding Abuse

A Few Stories

A youth pastor seduces 3 teen girls in his church and acts like he’s a victim.

Another youth pastor manipulates his youth group to believe he cares about them more than their parents.

A husband thinks his wife is cheating on him and sexually assaults her to punish her leaving her physically wounded.

A young person is molested by a neighbor and feels shame and guilt because she misunderstood the attention for something good.

In a moment of rage, a woman pushes her new husband down the basement stairs.

Family members who say demeaning things; yelling

A girl targeted starting in middle school by a boy who started a sex rumor about her through text.

Employers...

Nursing home...

The Stats

[SLIDE 4]

1 in 5 women raped

1 in 6 women/1 in 19 men stalked

1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men physical violence by an intimate partner

[SLIDE 5]

70% of children who die from abuse are under 4

4 children die daily from abuse

90% of sexual abuse victims knew their perpetrator in some way

[SLIDE 6] Bullying

1 in 5 students report being bullied

1 in 3 up to 2x per month

Why: physical appearance, race/ethnicity, gender, disability, religion, sexual orientation.

orientation

[SLIDE 7] Cyberbullying and Kids

16% of US students report being cyberbullied

1 in 5 girls

1 in 10 boys

92% of teens are online daily

[SLIDE 8] Workplace bullying and Violence

1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men file mental disorder claims related to harassment or bullying

37% of workers report being sworn or yelled at in the workplace

11% experience unfair treatment due to gender

20% have been exposed to sexual humor

22% report being physically assaulted or threatened

39% mental disorder claims caused by harassment, bullying or exposure to violence

Rising number of mental stress claims due to work place violence

BONUS INFO: Increasing number of adults being cyber shamed for what they post about, pictures they post (clothing choices, who they’re with, what they believe, how they look.

[SLIDE 9] Elder Abuse

1 in 9 over 60 has experienced abuse

1 in 23 cases reported

[SLIDE 10] It’s Bad - But it Always Has Been

2 Timothy 3:1–9 ESV

But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men corrupted in mind and disqualified regarding the faith. But they will not get very far, for their folly will be plain to all, as was that of those two men.

The last days - after Jesus' resurrection, Christians believed they were in the last days.

V. 1 What are the last days

Popular Notion

The final days before Jesus returns.

Biblical understanding

Common NT way of talking about the period of time right before the start of the current time.

The period of time that began with Jesus’ resurrection.

The last days - after Jesus' resurrection, Christians believed they were in the last days.

Last Days - the final period of time or age where God will finish his redemptive work and put an end to injustice and evil.

Last days:

Thought to be the last period of time or age in human history where when its all said and done, all things will be made new completely and God will put an end to injustice and evil.

By “last days” he means the New Testament age ushered in by Jesus Christ

We've been in the last days for a long time.

In this passage, when Paul says "There will be..." he is saying that it has been and will always be)

Broken, sinful, morally corrupt human behavior - nothing new

Won’t be changing anytime soon - including in the church…it may get worse.

Start dealing with it now.

Paul is describing broken, sinful human behavior that really wasn't new. He's not announcing something new, but reminding them that difficulty will continue and you'll probably experience worse things than you have.

[SLIDE 11] The Great Deception and What We’ve Become

Misdirected Love

What we’ve learned about Love, its values, fruit.

and - Patient, kind, NOT SELF SEEKING. The values, fruit of love.

It’s who God is and who believers are to be.

The Great Deception is that love is not that. That if you are patient, kind, etc, you will be taken advantage of and never experience love.

We can’t trust to “God” or other people to be or do this for us. The only one we can trust is ourselves.

So let’s make sure we give ourselves the love we need.

There’s a difference between healthy appreciation and care for ourselves as created in God’s image. That’s not what we’re talking about.

Misdirected love is the heart loving self and money/possessions, the pleasure it all brings most.

Lovers of Ourselves: The Source of Moral Corruption

Misdirected love is making the materialistic loving of self and the pleasure it all brings the most important thing.

Known by self-centeredness, selfishness, being self-absorbed.

A materialistic love of pleasure where the priority of life is to shower ourselves with anything and everything that makes us happy, is pleasurable.

Pleasure becomes a substitute for God

Materialism becomes substitute for spiritual maturity

It is the springboard for moral corruption because when the heart is captivated by these things, it has no need for God.

Materialism - substitute for spiritual maturity

Materialistic loving of pleasure

Self centeredness -

When the heart having been deceived about what love is has become captivated most with the materialistic love of pleasure, the root of abuse has been planted.

A materialistic love of pleasure -

This is the root of abuse

Characteristics of Materialistic Loving of Pleasure: John Stott

There are many of us who have these tendencies but they haven’t fully come out. The signs can be there but it’s hard to put them together to see the whole picture. That requires discernment.

John Stott

Breakdown of Relationships

Abusive - speaking and acting evil against others

Brutal

Unforgiving - a hostility so intense that a truce is impossible

Disobedient to parents

Antisocial Behavior

A swagger (boastful and proud)

Arrogant

No self-control or discipline - dominated by what others are doing, saying, thinking.

Brutal

Unforgiving - a hostility so intense that a truce is impossible

Hate good - being good is demanding. Let’s do something easier.

Reckless - fall head first because of an over hyped sense of importance

Facebook Faith

Looks good on the outside; learn the things to say, the behavior to turn on. Use the things of faith for personal advantage (Harvard Law School)

But behind the shell is emptiness.

but don’t understand the Gospel and its power to change us, make us new, give us a fresh start, new attitude, moral foundation.

Don’t understand the Gospel and its power to change us, make us new, give us a fresh start, new attitude, moral foundation.

Can’t Live With or Without Them

Why We’re Drawn to Abusive People

In Timothy’s church, there were false teachers

Can look spiritual on the outside but character doesn't match. Draw people in, manipulate and take from them. Not always detectable until we're in deep.

We’re Vulnerable

Abused feel detached and unloved.

Toxic Faith -

6-7 Manipulate and worm their way into our lives taking advantage of our gullibility

We’ll take any solution someone offers us.

Overwhelmed

When we're loaded with guilt, shame, stuck in patterns and consequences of poor choices and past sin, we're looking to learn, for a way out, for help. Susceptible to teaching and relationships that will take advantage of us because we believe that solution or person is our way out.

willing to learn, listen to anything anyone would tell

Manipulate with superstition rather than truth to worm their way into our lives taking advantage of our gullibility

Manipulation

Function with a continual feeling of loss.

Solve your financial problems with this multi-level marketing job

In Timothy’s church, there were false teachers - materialistic lovers of themselves - who took advantage of women in just this situation who were looking to God to learn, gain wisdom and for healing.

Cults

Manipulated them with superstition rather than truth.

Multi-Level Marketing/Get rich quick

Often they go to great extremes to fill the void left by abusive parents.

Intimidat

Their faith is almost poisoned by these early incidents.

Some give up on God, blaming him; others consider God uncaring; others replace God with another human being.

Attention from an adult friend, especially a father replacement can set off a craving for more attention and a vulnerability to be victimized again, seeking a savior. When a toxic faith leader arrives with what appears to be a heart of gold and a simple plan for an easy life, the followers quickly sign up.

Abuse in the Church/Spiritual Abuse

Worm their way into our lives taking advantage of our gullibility.

Worn down

Overwhelmed

Loaded with guilt, shame, stuck in patterns and consequences of poor choices and past sin, we're looking to learn, for a way out.

Susceptible to:

Teaching and relationships that will take advantage of us because we believe that solution or person is our way out.

Manipulation of spiritual needs and and shame intimidation with superstition rather than truth

Accepting and enduring

Demeaning name calling

Yelling and screaming

Being isolated

Humiliation

Having our thoughts and feelings questioned, doubted

A Pastor’s Guide - Dealing with Domestic Violence. “Emotional abuse is always a component of physical, sexual, and verbal abuse, but it can also stand alone,” she says. “In all cases of abuse, the perpetrator uses intimidation, humiliation, isolation and fear to diminish their victim’s sense of self and sanity.”

We are all Susceptible To Absuing

Because our broken, sinful human side is self seeking.

Can look spiritual on the outside but character doesn't match. Draw people in, manipulate and take from them.

There are many of us who have these tendencies but they haven’t fully come out. The signs can be there but it’s hard to put them together to see the whole picture. That requires discernment.

Susceptible to Abuse

Not always detectable until we're in deep.

[SLIDE 12] Ending Abuse

Ending Abuse

From Being Abused

Getting unstuck From depression, confusion, difficulty concentrating, making decisions, overwhelming feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, poor physical health

Isaiah 40:29–31 ESV

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak. Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will fall. But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. (NLT)

Discerning the Deception. Ask for help.

From Being an Abuser

youths will become exhausted, and young men will fall give up. But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. (NLT)

will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow

weary. They will walk and not faint. (NLT)

Being an Abuser

Most experts believe it is rooted in unresolved childhood trauma.

In as much pain and our victims. Hurt people hurt people.

Emotionally healthy spirituality - do the hard work of getting well.

Be courageous - self examination to become aware of the tendencies within us of being materialistic lovers of self and commit to a path of becoming other seeking.

Repentance