Children and Parents: Honoring God Together

We are coming out of a 5 part series where the studied Paul’s instructions to us about God intention for marriage. One of the most important thing that we discovered is that marriage is about more than just giving us companionship, intimacy, and having children. But, the marriage relationship is to glorify God by reflecting Christ’s marriage to his bride the church. So God intends the way husbands and wives relate to each other reflect his glory.

As Paul continues, he progresses to anther relationship that exists inside the family, particularly the relationship between parents and children. In the same way, that relationship is created to bring honor and glory to God.

Children honor God as they obey their parents. Parents honor God as they nourish the growth of their children.

2 Exhortations:

I. Children, honor God by honoring your parents through obedience (6:1-3)

The question of how children should honor God really is an interesting question. Adults have plenty of Biblical teaching on how God desires them to honor him. On Sunday night we’ve been studying Matthew. We just finished the Sermon on the Mount in . There are three straight chapters of teaching on how believing adults should honor God in our attitudes, in our speech, in our relationships, when people do us wrong, when we do people wrong, how we use money, dealing with worry, etc.

But where is the starting point? We are to start being concerned about pleasing God as children. And, we are to start pleasing God by learning to obey our parents.

Ephesians 6:1 ESV

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

Why is it right?

Here are some reasons that children should be concerned with pleasing God.

A. Obeying parents models Christlikeness.

1. Jesus obeyed his Heavenly Father.

When they honor their parents, they are modeling themselves after Jesus. Did you ever wonder why Jesus came to earth, lived a perfect life, bore our sins, died on the cross while bearing the wrath of God and being raised again so we could be saved? It is because he was being obedient to his Father’s will. Jesus had a Father that he honored by obeying him.

Hebrews 10:5 ESV

5 Consequently, when Christ came into the world, he said, “Sacrifices and offerings you have not desired, but a body have you prepared for me;

Hebrews 10:7 ESV

7 Then I said, ‘Behold, I have come to do your will, O God, as it is written of me in the scroll of the book.’ ”

Heb. 10:5

2. Jesus obeyed his earthly parents.

Luke 2:41–52 ESV

41 Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover. 42 And when he was twelve years old, they went up according to custom. 43 And when the feast was ended, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. His parents did not know it, 44 but supposing him to be in the group they went a day’s journey, but then they began to search for him among their relatives and acquaintances, 45 and when they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem, searching for him. 46 After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47 And all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. 48 And when his parents saw him, they were astonished. And his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress.” 49 And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” 50 And they did not understand the saying that he spoke to them. 51 And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart. 52 And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.

Learning submission to parents is the first lesson of honoring God through living under authority. Isn’t it interesting that learning to live under authority is first spiritual lesson that we learn?

Why is that? No one ever outgrows living under authority.

*I heard about a young man that was being rebellious. He didn’t want to obey his parents. He didn’t like their restrictive rules. He didn’t like having a curfew. When he turned 18, he told them, “No one is going to tell me what to do. I’m going to join the military.”

Without learning to submit to authority society crumbles. There are times that we dislike this truth. When we are driving along a little too fast and we see lights in our rear view mirror, why do we pull over? It is not that we want to chat with the officer. It’s not because we like paying speeding tickets. It is because, we are under authority. And thee are serious consequences for rebelling against authority God has placed over us.

We live under authority everywhere. At home there are parents. At school there are teachers and principles. At work, you have a boss. In the government, we have police officers, judges, city, state, and federal officials.

Where does this authority originate. It comes from God.

That’s why Paul says,

Ephesians 6:1 ESV

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

All of these exist under God.

When children obey their parents “in the Lord.” They are submitting to the same authority that they will submit to in society for the rest of their life. Jesus understood its importance.

+Let me add here, it is extremely important that parents teach their children to obey them. Otherwise it just sets them up for a life of rebellion. A life of rebellion does not bring success or the blessing of God.

B. Obeying parents honors them.

Notice in 6:1, he calls children to “obey “parents. Then for his reasoning, he quotes the fifth commandment which doesn’t say “obey.” It says “honor.”

True obedience is honor.

Ephesians 6:2 ESV

2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),

True obedience is honor. This has to do with the intent of the heart.

*Let’s say that you tell your teenager to go and clean their room. But they are busy playing video games or texting with their friends and they don’t want to go clean their room. You tell them three times and they still don’t do it. So, then you say, “If you don’t go in there and clean your room, I’m taking your phone for two weeks. They get up in a huff, storm in their room, and slam their door and start cleaning their room. That’s not obedience. That consequence avoiding.

God wants us to obey our parents in a way that honors them for their faithfulness in caring for their children with godly authority.

Notice how the children of the woman respond to her faithfulness.

Proverbs 31:28 ESV

28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

Prov. 31:

Children are not called just to do what they are told, but to delight in the godly authority of their parents. One commentator that I read wrote this:

To honor is more than to obey. It is to respect and esteem. It is “the form love assumes towards those who are placed above us by God.” (Expositor’s Bible Commentary).

C. Obeying parents should be a child’s priority. (v.2)

Ephesians 6:2 ESV

2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),

Exodus 12:6 ESV

6 and you shall keep it until the fourteenth day of this month, when the whole assembly of the congregation of Israel shall kill their lambs at twilight.

What’s interesting about that comment is that it has long been noted that of the 10 commandments, this is not the first commandment listed that has a promised attached. The second commandment is.

Ex. 20:4-6

Exodus 12:4 ESV

4 And if the household is too small for a lamb, then he and his nearest neighbor shall take according to the number of persons; according to what each can eat you shall make your count for the lamb.

Exodus 20:4 ESV

4 “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

Exodus 20:4–6 ESV

4 “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. 5 You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.

So, how do we handle this? Well, Paul may not be considering this a promise so much as a description. But, several scholars point out that instead of translating this “first,” as in sequence. It can be translated as “primary, or foremost significance.”

Regardless, children need to understand, obeying your parents is really important to God. Children need to see this as the primary way that they please God during while under their authority. And, as we are going to see, this sets them up for great blessing.

D. Obeying parents comes with a blessing. (v.3)

I’m all about promises of blessing from the Lord. And, God gives a promise to those who obey their parents.

Ephesians 6:3 ESV

3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

What does that mean? We all want things to go well with us, but what does it mean to live long in the land? I’ve got two acres over on Trawick Road. That land?

This came from the 5th commandment, .

Exodus 20:12 ESV

12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

Did you see the difference, “in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” In the 10 commandments, God’s blessing were connected to the Jews being able to enjoy the blessings of living in the promise land.

A Jew would understand that, but that wouldn’t make much sense to many Gentile Christians that Paul was writing to. So, Paul left that part off. But it is certainly a promise of prosperity and long life.

We are not exactly sure what that would mean to a 1st century Christian living in the Roman Empire. But most likely this is a general principle that that obedience to parents fosters submission to all authority God has place over us.

A life lived this way brings stability which leads to longevity. When you do things right, things seem to go better than when you live a life of rebellion.

A good example of the blessing of obedience is Isaac, Abraham’s son who trusted his father even to the point of laying down as a potential sacrifice. God gave him long life and a place as a patriarch of the faith.

Then, there was Eli’s sons Hophni and Phinehas who rebelled from the teaching of God and their father. Because of their disobedience, all of Israel suffered, and they died early.

1 Samuel 4:11 ESV

11 And the ark of God was captured, and the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, died.

Obey and thus honor your parents. It prepares you to honor God and live in his blessing your entire life.

II. Be parents worthy of honor. (v.4)