Why do we come to youth group?

Asking for a Friend

Begin with events

New Series—Asking for a Friend: Tough Questions You’re Not Suppose to Ask at Church

Inspired by 2 things

1. Q&R Night

2. Brighton asking really good questions

Why do we use the expression, “I’m asking for a friend?”

Often times—not wanting that person to know you’re the ones wondering

This person may feel the question they are asking is:

Embarrassing—they should know it—awkward

This is why Q&R night = success, questions were anonymous

In this group—no question is uninvited

We may disagree but that does not mean I do not love nor listen

Many believe that disagreeing = judgmental

Being judgmental is when someone is critically

“I can’t believe you think that way!” “What’s wrong with you?”

What I hope this group does for one another:

When you disagree with someone—you show them grace

Continue to act favorably towards them

Some of these questions I have never heard asked in church

Questions for series:

1. Why do we come to youth group?

2. Should Christians celebrate Halloween?

3. How do we give thanks?

4. What’s up with that Herod guy?

5. Why a manger?

6. Where did Santa come from?

Question for today: Why do you come to youth group?

I want your real answer—not ‘Jesus’ just b/c I’m asking

When I went—I came b/c my parents made me

Sometimes I liked it—sometimes I didn’t

We’re going to answer this question by looking at a story

My hope is that you come for your health, not for the hype

What do we mean by health? We will define this

Let’s start with a story

Doug’s journey from hype to health

There once was a guy name Doug—who is not made up

Doug Fields is a youth ministry guru

He has written a number of books on youth ministry

My favorite—Purpose Driven Youth Ministry

In this book—Doug tells us his youth ministry story

Doug started volunteering in his youth group in 1979

He admits in the book he had no idea what he was doing

Volunteered for 2 years—offered paid internship in 1981

He writes this in his book, “In 1985 my youth ministry mentor handed me the leadership of what was considered to be a successful youth ministry. While I was thrilled, I was also driven by the need to prove I could ‘be the man.’ This pushed me to do more and to look for the bigger and better in everything I did (hype).”

Then begins to share his testimony

Fields, Doug. Purpose Driven Youth Ministry (Kindle Locations 424-426). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

Doug was so busy running programs and events

Not focusing on his spiritual life

He then writes, “While all of the activities and excitement assured that no one questioned my work ethic, I questioned everything. In the midst of all that was happening, I couldn’t shake the emptiness of all I was doing. I was distant from the Lord and my heart was slowly hardening.”

While all of the activities and excitement assured that no one questioned my work ethic, I questioned everything. In the midst of all that was happening, I couldn’t shake the emptiness of all I was doing. I was distant from the Lord and my heart was slowly hardening.

Doug labels this section of his book “My Journey from Hype to Health”

Fields, Doug. Purpose Driven Youth Ministry (Kindle Locations 426-428). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

This reality lead Doug to discover the answer to our question

He learned it the hard way—I’m glad this group doesn’t have to

We come for health, not hype.

Health, Not Hype

What do I mean by hype?

Games—taste buds, put it on a cracker, nailed it or failed it, cheese balls

Basketball

Events—movie nights, paintball, food fight, jump park, taco bell olympics

Hype is not bad—fun, spend time with each other, these events and games draw us closer to one another

When all there is, is hype,

Hype comes problems

If all we have is hype this group will quickly begin to look like what we read in

“Smooth talk from an evil heart is like glaze on cracked pottery.”

The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language Chapter 26

talk from an evil heart

is like glaze on cracked pottery.

The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language Chapter 26

Smooth talk from an evil heart

is like glaze on cracked pottery.

The person who wrote this proverb uses this picture

With hype alone—group looks good on the outside

But no change is taking place where it really matters

What really matters to me—your health

It may look good on the outside—nothing is really holding it together

I love you so much i’d rather concern myself with your health than your fun

Spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically

Earlier I stated—I use to only go to youth group b/c my parents made me

I was to immature to realize that working out any part of your life is work

Recently I have been going to the gym at 6:00 AM

Do you think I enjoy doing this—no, but i’ve lost 30 pounds

And now I can school all of you in basketball

It’s not always fun

Same is true for working ourselves spiritually

After working out—go home—read and pray

I don’t always feel like reading and praying

You don’t have to feel a certain way to grow spiritually successfully

Everyday you go to school correct? Or school at home?

Even if you don’t feel it—you have matured in your education

The reason we don’t feel it happening is b/c it’s day by day

The decisions you make daily will affect spiritual health over time

Reading, praying, coming to youth group, hanging out with this family

In fact:

Day by day changes

Our health is the sum total of all the small decisions that we make

Not a sum of big decisions

Your health is determined by decisions you make everyday

That includes every Wed. you can be—being here

Your Part Matters

Maigan and I have been with you for a year now

I want to be the first to say 2 things:

1. This is not my youth group—it’s yours

This group would not exists without you

I desire your input on series, improvements, questions, events, games

Even if I were to ever stop serving as youth pastor—group will continue

2. Your part in this group matters

We come because your part matters

No matter how long you’ve been coming—you being here matters

Can I say for a lot of you—I have seen some real change

For those who have been here

You may not be able to see it in yourself but Maigan and I we see it

She is my witness—there will be nights we go home impressed by the things you all say and do for one another

For example:

Alan—seeing you worship at forward conference made that trip for me

Jake, Matthew—seeing you two raise your hands saying “I’m following Jesus” literally made me cry

Henry—so inclusive, inviting/friendship is invaluable

Matt, Aaron—you both are great servants Wed. nights/Sunday mornings

Ethan—at the swipe right retreat you said one sentence made the whole weekend for me “thank you for putting this together”

Proves our words do matter—they can make a difference

I could continue to go around the room and tell you how God is working through you and is changing for you

You are making a difference

Your part matters

Paul writes a letter to church, in this letter he tells this church: your part matters

14 Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. 15 If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?

, Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. 15 If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?

14

He uses this analogy to say—it doesn’t matter what your part is—big or small—it matters

Yes,

22 In fact, some parts of the body that

the body

In fact, some parts of the body that

, , In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary... 27 All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.

has

Pinky—50% of your hand strength comes from your little buddy!

seem weakest and least important

many different parts

, not just one part.

•

are actually the most necessary

Uvala—(Over lifetime) Secretes enough salvia fill 2 swimming pools!

15

Uvala—(Over lifetime) Secretes enough salvia fill 2 swimming pools!

...

Armpit hair (Defuse natural smell to attract a mate)

•

If the foot

27

Sometimes—the ways you serve or the way you grow spiritually, emotionally, mentally is not visible

Armpit hair (Defuse natural smell to attract a mate)

All of you together are Christ’s body,

says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not

Just because it’s not visible does not mean it’s not important

make it any less a part of the body.

and each of you is a part of it.

We come for our health, not hype

16

12: NLT

We come because your part matters

And if the ear says, “I am not part of

I want to end a little differently—every now and then—we’ll do prayer request

the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of

Most prayer request at “they” request

the body?

“They” being parents, grandparents, friend

17

If anyone has a prayer request, I want it to be an “I” prayer request

If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if

“I” need prayer for…

your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?

Doing this for your health

I and Maigan always here for you

Any question—any prayer request—we will support you