It's NOT my Party, and I'll Cry if I Want to

“It’s NOT My Party, and I’ll Cry if I Want to”

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How many of you have heard the song; “It’s my party, and I cried I want to”? I didn’t hear that song until after I met Tess. I grew up in a very strict Christian home… Tess didn’t. So she has taught me a lot of things… I will never forget the day, she started singing this song to me.

“Judy and Johnny just walked through the door like a queen with her king, Oh, what a birthday surprise Judy's wearing his ring. It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, Cry if I want to, Cry if I want to. you would cry too, if it happened to you”.

In this chapter Jesus tells about three parties.

There is a party when the lost sheep is found, when the lost coin is found, and the lost son comes home. Jesus tells these three stories to give us one great truth; all of us are lost and need to be found/saved. And when the lost are found, when sinners are saved there is a party, there is great joy in heaven when sinners are saved!

This is a chapter of great joy; a happy chapter; in this chapter we learn about the heart of God. God the father, God the son, and God the Holy Spirit rejoices when the lost are found, when sinners are saved!

Most of us are familiar with the story of the prodigal son. The prodigal son lived a life of sin in the far country, he repents, is forgiven, is welcomed home and the father throws a party.

There is great joy because a sinner has been saved, and the whole house is filled with singing, shouting, laughter and rejoicing. What a great time they were having; a sinner was saved, the lost was found, the dead was made alive.

But not everyone in this chapter is rejoicing!

The prodigal son’s older brother is not happy that his younger brother has come home, and that his father is throwing a party for him.

His attitude is, it’s not my party; and I’ll cry if I want to!

We are told in, V:11, that this man had two sons. Then Jesus proceeds to tell the story about the younger son, the prodigal son, who went into the far country. The people listening to Jesus tell the story; must have wondered what happened to the other son? He is off stage for most of the story; but now Jesus brings him back to center stage. Remember who Jesus was telling these story’s to? He was telling these stories to the scribes and Pharisees; who had been complaining that Jesus received sinners and ate with them, V:2.

So Jesus masterfully puts them into the story! The elder brother represents the Pharisees. Everybody in all the stories are rejoicing that the lost are found, except the elder brother. He does not rejoice when his prodigal brother returns home, he murmurs, complains and is upset that the father rejoices over the lost son returning home.

It is important to know that both of these sons were lost.

· The prodigal son was lost in the far country.

· The elder brother was lost in the house.

Jesus gives the story of the elder brother, to show us what it’s like to be lost in religion. To be near the father, but not know the heart of the father, nor the forgiveness of the father. The elder brother represents religious people who are self-righteous. And Self-righteousness is just as bad as unrighteousness; because it keeps you from God’s righteousness!

The elder brother, who is a Pharisee has no joy over sinners being saved, because he doesn’t understand what it’s like to be lost, and then to be found. The Pharisees had never had experienced forgiveness, therefore they didn’t know the joy of being forgiven. They didn’t feel like they needed to be found, because they didn’t know they were lost.

They thought they were okay because of their religious works, and clean lifestyle.

Being religious will not get you to heaven, you must be saved! The Pharisees, like the elder brother in the story, where complaining and criticizing Jesus for rejoicing over sinners being saved. Let’s discover, what makes them say, it’s not my party; and I’ll cry if I want to.

You will miss the party when you:

1. Refuse the Joy of the Father.

V:25-28.

Jesus has just told us about the joy the father had when is prodigal son returned, V:22-24.

The father put the best robe on his returning son, he put a ring on his hand and shoes on his feet. The father had a calf killed, and threw a party; and said,V:24-“my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost and is found”. And they began to be Merry! The word. “Merry” means to be extremely glad, have an excited, joyful spirit. The father is overjoyed that his lost son has come home!

But… the elder brother refused to share in the joy of his father!

We are told the elder brother comes in, V:25 from the field, he’s been working all day long, he’s hot and tired; he plans to get a bath, watch the news, eat, and go to bed.

It’s been a hard day in the field, as he approaches the house it is all lit up; the ground is shaking with dancing feet, he hears the sound of music playing. There is a big band playing, there is singing, it is a celebration! Servants are running everywhere, there is laughter and joy in the air.

V:26, he walks through the gate into the front yard, and catches a servant going by; and ask him was going on around here?

V:27-Read.

The servant says, man haven’t you heard; your younger brother has come home from the far country, and your father is so thrilled and excited about it, that he is throwing a homecoming party! We are having a glory, hallelujah celebration, the father is rejoicing over his lost son that was found! Hurry, hurry cleanup and come to the party!

Now, you would think he would jump for joy, and run in and bear hug his brother and say praise God dad’s prayers have been answered! Welcome home little bro, we missed you!

But that is not what he does! He is angry, upset that the father has received the sinner and is eating with him!

The word received, is the same word used back in, V:2, where the Pharisees were complaining because Jesus received sinners and ate with them.

It is the word that means reconciliation, the lost son and the loving father had been reconciled; and there was great joy. The older brother was not reconciled to the father; even though he lived in the house.

The older brother was just as lost as a younger brother.

And the Pharisees were just as lost as the tax collectors and sinners that Jesus ate with.

The Pharisees had no joy over lost sinners being reconciled to the father.

The elder brother was, V:28-Read.

Why is he angry, disturbed, why does he refused to go in?

Do you see him standing outside of the house, he refuses to go in, he’s angry, disturbed because his brother has come home, and his father has forgiven him. What a poor, pitiful, petty, pouting Pharisee he was! The table is loaded with food, the house is filled with people, everybody is excited especially the father about the return of the brother!

But not him, he refuses the joy of the father; he does not find joy in what the father finds joy in. He is disturbed by the return of the brother, and the response of the father.

If this elder brother had prayed for his lost brother, went out searching for his lost brother, he would have been glad for his salvation.

But the elder brother was not saved, and he had no desire to reconcile lost sinners to the loving father.

Did you notice in the story of the lost sheep, and the lost coin there was someone that went searching.

The Shepherd searched for the lost sheep; and the woman search for the lost coin. But nobody went out searching for the lost son! Whose job was it to go searching for the lost son?

It was the elder brother’s responsibility to seek to reconcile the lost son, to the father. But he refused to go searching for his younger brother, and therefore he had no joy when he returned.

He refused to go searching for his brother.

He refused to celebrate his brother’s return.

He refused to share his father’s joy.

There he is standing on the outside with a long face, a curled lip, with an angry attitude.

The people who heard the story would expect the older brother to celebrate the lost son being found, just like when the sheep and the coin with found. But he is angry and refuses to go in to the party, V:28.

The happiest time in the church service is the invitation when people walk down the island receive Jesus Christ as her Savior. But sometimes there are elder brothers around, Pharisees, who find no joy in sinners being saved.

Even younger brothers, who have been saved out of the hog pen of sin, been baptized and joined the church; and were once full of the joy of the Lord. But as the years rolled by, they settle down, get use to the singing and preaching, and get familiar with the words of the church. And now the joy, thrill is gone; there in the church, in the house, serving, but no joy in their heart.

Let’s be honest, there is a tendency for there to be a little of the elder brother spirit in every one of us. You become critical, judgmental, pouting, and have a spirit of self-pity; and you are not going join the party, because the party is not for you!

The elder brother is angry, the word denotes and explosive rage. He is not just a little annoyed; he is infuriated by the return of the son and the forgiveness of the father; and he refuses to share his father’s joy in his brother salvation.

The elder brother is never pleased, unless the party is for him. You could have another Pentecost in the church and the Pharisee, elder brother would be unhappy. The music was too loud, the sermon was too long, the service went into overtime, and Golden corral was full. He’s angry, upset, disturbed about all the joy, laughter and the celebration.

The elder brother says, did you see that person, they went forward in a pair of shorts, and had a hat on. Did you see how long his hair was?

If you really got saved he’d cut his hair; well if you’re really saved you’d cut your tongue.

It is a good thing the father saw the prodigal son before the older brother did. Because if the older brother had met him first, he probably would have said, how dare you show back up at home? Go find a job somewhere else! The last thing in the world the elder brother wanted to do was celebrate his brother’s return. He could hear the music, but there was no joy in his heart, therefore he refused to share the joy of the father.

Forgiveness, joy, the dancing and music of evangelism always disturbs the elder brother.

Be careful you will miss the party; when you:

Refuse the joy of the father.

You will miss the party when you:

2. Resent the Grace of the Father.

V:29-30-Read.

As you hear these bitter words, you hear his resentment of his father’s grace. The older brother rebukes his father by saying, V:29-“Look, all these years do I serve you…

The word he uses for serve, is the word slave.

It is a word that means to be a slave, in bondage doing hard labor. I wonder if the father thought:

Is that the way you have been looking at it?

He inadvertently revealed the true attitude of his heart. His relationship with his father had always been performance-based. His service had become slavery to him; he had never served in love, because of the forgiveness of the father; but only out of obligation, seeking to gain the father’s approval. Therefore he thought he deserved something; you never gave me a goat that I might have a party with my friends. The elder brother is lost, and far away from his father’s heart, though he is living at home. The elder brother’s complaint was I’ve worked hard, and you never gave me a party.

My brother who was wasting his life, V:30-Read.

He has not earned forgiveness and a party like I have! The elder brother wanted to know, why did he get a cow, when I didn’t even get a goat?

He resents the grace the father shows the returning brother.

He doesn’t like grace! He thinks he should have to earn his way into forgiveness, pay penance, and work his way back into the father’s graces.

This full, free grace and forgiveness makes the older brother angry. He doesn’t think it’s fair!

Guess what; God’s wonderful grace is never fair, thank God; because you don’t deserve anything, and salvation is by grace!

How sad, this older brother had been working like a slave all these years, but he didn’t enjoy his service to his father. It is possible to do the work for the Lord, and not be in the will of the Lord. It is possible for a person to do his duty and never experienced any joy in the work he does.

I feel sorry for people who have religion with no joy in it. They never have a hallelujah in their heart, never a spring in their step, never a song of victory on their lips. That’s not the way it’s supposed to be!

This brother had no sense of son-ship; therefore he was working at the level of a slave. No joy, happiness, only drudgery. What about your service to the Lord? Do you have joy, victory, enthusiasm as you serve the Lord? Don’t just go to the field and work like a slave; be in right relationship with the father, and work like a son! One of the evidences of a life of forgiveness, and a life close to the father is you will be filled with the joy of the Lord.

Notice this older brother says in, V:29-“neither have I broken any of your commandments…

Your younger son has broken all your commandments, and look what you are doing for him.

I have broken none of your commandments, and you’re doing nothing from me. He thinks the father owes him something. He doesn’t think he’s broken any commandments, sinned, therefore he doesn’t think he needs forgiveness.

No wonder there’s no joy in his life! He doesn’t think he is a sinner!

His heart is full of pride, Self-righteousness, unconcerned for others, the sin of anger, and the sin of disobedience.

The older brother was lost, lost in his striving for self-salvation, he was lost, rejecting his son-ship and living like a slave.

The elder brother is not lost despite his good record, he is lost because he trusted in his good record.

The elder brother in this story is one of the most spiritually unattractive people in the entire Bible!

He is stingy, resentful, proud, bitter, unrepentant, unforgiving, and unwilling to show grace to other sinners. Jesus was painting a picture of the Pharisees. Like the elder brother in the parable the elders of Israel refused to reconcile their brothers and sisters to God. Rather than seeking sinners to be saved, they pushed them away like the elder brother. They were not running to sinners, they were running sinners away.

The Pharisees like the elder brother resented the grace of the father. They did not like it that Jesus received pigpen sinners and eats with them.

The Pharisees did not have any love for the lost, or any joy in their salvation; because they had never experienced the grace and forgiveness of God themselves!

They thought they could be justified by their own works, and they bragged about their many years of slaving away for God. But yet they were inwardly estranged from the father, and lost in their religious works.

Jesus is revealing a great truth; salvation is not earned by years of faithful work and service to God; but by grace, through faith in Jesus death on the cross and resurrection for you!

What the Pharisees, and many religious people fail to understand is that people who try to be law keepers, are just as guilty as people who know they are lawbreakers.

By the works of the law, is no person justified!

It is not just prodigal sons who need the father’s forgiveness, but also elder brothers!

One son was lost in the pigpen of sin in the far country. The other son was lost in religion, living in the home.

When you are a morally good person, and a churchgoer, and have never been in the far country, you can easily think that you are basically a good person. Do you think you are a good person who deserves to be saved, not a bad person who can only be saved by grace?

All have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God.

Even if we came to God as a prodigal, we can gradually turn into an elder brother. This is evident from the lack of joy in our worship of God, from our judgmental comments about other people, and our self-righteous assumptions about ourselves.

You will miss the party when you:

3. Reject the Love of the Father.

V:31-32.

There were two lost sons in this family, and the father loved both of them. He loved the one who went off to the far country, and he loved the one who stayed at home. As lost as the elder brother was, he could not escape his father’s love. The older brother was angry and refused to go into the house and celebrate his brother’s return.

V:28-“therefore the father went out and entreated him”. Here is another demonstration of this father’s love. When the younger son came home, the father saw him coming down the road, and ran to meet him; that was an act of great love.

Now the father leaves the party and goes outside to talk to the older brother; this is an act of great love. This father goes out to get his lost son. This was an act of humiliation on the part of this father; because when the elder brother failed to join the party, he brought shame to his entire family. His refusal was a personal and public insult to his father, to his long-lost brother, and to all their invited guest. The elder brother should have been the co-host with his father of this celebration. It was also unthinkable for this son to publicly argue with this father. Ordinarily a father who received such an insult would simply ignore his son altogether, or say I will deal with you later; but not this father.

This is a picture of the self-emptying love of God; to reconcile alienated sinners.

What a wonderful father this is! What a wonderful father our heavenly father is! The father who saw the prodigal coming and ran to him, goes out to try to reconcile this older brother.

V:28-“and intreated him”.

The word, Intreated means-to call near, to invite, to comfort.

It is a very tender word that conveys love, kindness and patience.

I can hear him as he says: V:31-32-Read. Son, a term of endearment, my dear child you have been here with me, everything I have is yours, it is right that we should make Merry and be glad…Don’t you realize your brother who was dead is alive, he was lost now he is found?

Come on in, come to the party, I love you as much as I do him! Son you’re here, but come to know me, come to know my heart for lost sinners!

Everything I have is available to you, yet you are living far away from me as a slave! This father is seeking to draw this elder brother into the family as well! What is this about? Jesus is seeking to draw these lost Pharisees into a relationship with God through him! He is inviting the Pharisees to join the party, to share in the joy of salvation, if only they would repent and put their faith in Jesus, they could no true joy! God the father ran to meet the prodigal son, and he went out to get the pouting son!

What an amazing act of grace and love to leave the party and go out to the elder brother.

· He could’ve said-leave the sourpuss out there, hope it rains, and lightens and thunders.

· He could’ve said, get in the house right now; are you’re in big trouble, or I am going to disown you.

But that’s not what he does, in love and grace he calls him to come in. Come on in son, don’t miss the party, I have a steak cooked just for you, medium, and there’s a baked potato, and salad, and Texas toast, and sweet tea, and coconut cream pie; we’re going to have a celebration!

Our heavenly father loves sinners in the hog pen; and he loves sinners in the field of religion.

Our heavenly father loves sinners and tax collectors and eats with them. Our heavenly father loves Pharisees and scribes and wants them to come into the house of salvation and celebration.

Jesus is telling the Pharisees the right thing to do is celebrate when sinners come home.

In the previous two stories we know how they ended. But in this story we don’t know how it ended. What decision did the elder brother make? It is an unfinished story; did he decide to go into the party; or did he stay outside?

Jesus was telling the Pharisees an unfinished parable and giving them the opportunity to write the ending themselves. The real question was not what the elder brother would do, but what they would do? Would they continue to think they were better than sinners; and criticize Jesus for receiving sinners, are would they come to the father in repentance and admit their need for grace?

What about you, will you respond to the father’s invitation to come into the house of salvation, and join the party. Will you receive Jesus Christ as your personal savior and Lord? Will you share the joy of being reconciled to God through Jesus death, burial and resurrection?

The decision is yours, you can be an elder brother and stay on the outside, miserable, critical, fault-finding and self-righteous. Or you can decide to come on in and take the hand of the returning brother and the rejoicing father and enjoy God salvation, God’s family, and God’s goodness.

The father receives prodigals, and elder brothers!

Share the joy of the father by pleading with lost people to come to know Jesus as their Savior, and then rejoicing when the lost are found.