The Children of the Home

Text

Ephesians 6:1–4 KJV 1900

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Introduction

The sole responsibility of a child is to learn to obey his parents. It is fundamental and foundational to every aspect of their life. So children have a responsibility to learn and fathers have a responsibility to teach.

Quote: “Children who learn to defy parental authority will go on to defy other authority and will often grow up to defy divine authority.” - John Phillips

It is mostly accepted in our society that children just go through phases of utter defiance and misbehavior.

There is the terrible 2’s

He’s 3 so he’s a bit cranky

They are getting close to the teenage years so they are beginning to be their own person

They are 16 - no parents can get teenagers to listen and obey

Before you know it you are left believing that as parents we are called to endure children. I do believe many parents simply endure their children but I don’t believe it needs to be that way. God certainly does not expect it to be a common experience.

Transition

The problem is that many people have just simply bought into the idea they have been sold. We are to negotiate with our children, we are to become best friends with our children we are to manipulate our children....there are many tactics that parents take none of which you will find support for in scripture.

As we spend a few moments tonight on the subject of children of the home I want to point out 2 important truths.

We will look at:

A Child’s Simple Task

A Father’s Supreme Trust

I. A Child’s Simple Task

“children obey your parents”

A. A child’s task involves learning

Notice Paul is directly addressing children in this passage - (hint- children should be in church)

Children should be reading the Word of God

B. A child’s task involves living

The second word Paul uses is “obey”

There is an expectation that one is to follow what instruction you have been given

Obedience is an important lesson that is learned early in life

Philippians 2:8 KJV 1900

And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.

1 Peter 1:14 KJV 1900

As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance:

C. A child’s task involves lauding

“honor thy father and mother” v 2

A reference to the Decalogue - very foundational truth as the 10 commandments are a condensation of Gods law and moral standard

Exodus 20:12 KJV 1900

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

Deuteronomy 5:16 KJV 1900

Honour thy father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

We are called on to do more than obey our parents - we are called to love and care for them - to honor them

Example: Caring for aged parents is an example of honoring them:

1 Timothy 5:3–8 KJV 1900

Honour widows that are widows indeed. But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God. Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day. But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth. And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless. But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

II. A Fathers Sublime Trust

“fathers”

This is not just a command to fathers - since the Greek word used could refer to the entire parental structure

Fathers need to take the lead - to many mothers are bearing the load in this area

A. A word about our Methods

“provoke not your children to wrath”

Colossians 3:21 KJV 1900

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

Provoke: Stir up - to make angry - to enrage

i. Don’t be unreasonable in our demands

we need to take into consideration age and maturity

Be careful not to favor - remember what happened to Joseph - his father was favoring him and ruining him and God snatched him away and took him to Egypt and made a man out of him

We should not be unreasonable but we must give them demands - children are growing up with no skills and no ability to do anything for themselves - they can and should do dishes- cleaning - laundry

Proverbs 29:15 KJV 1900

The rod and reproof give wisdom: But a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

Illustration: My mother was a single mom for part of my life and she was and is one of the hardest working people I know. She always had us working - this chore, that chore. I had a job at a golf course when I was 13 or 14 years old and have had a job since.

Thank the Lord for Parents that teach children that life is about work! There is satisfaction in it!

ii. Don’t be outrageous in our punishments

Don’t kill a mosquito with a cannon

We do however need to be consistent and apply discipline

Proverbs 13:24 KJV 1900

He that spareth his rod hateth his son: But he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Proverbs 22:15 KJV 1900

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; But the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

It literally means that foolishness needs to be separated from the heart and driven away - and the tool for this is the rod of correction.

Illustration: White Fang - Jack London Natures Example

No better instruction in parental discipline can be found than that in Jack London’s story White Fang. White Fang was a wolf cub, born in a cave in the White North. Wrote London:  Always, in the beginning, before his conscious life dawned, he had crawled toward the mouth of the cave. And in this his brothers and sisters were one with him. Never, in that period, did any of them crawl toward the dark corners of the back-wall. The light drew them as if they were plants; the chemistry of the life that composed them demanded the light as a necessity of being; and their little puppet-bodies crawled blindly and chemically, like the tendrils of a vine. Later on, when each developed individuality and became personally conscious of impulsions and desires, the attraction of the light increased. They were always crawling and sprawling toward it, and being driven back from it by their mother.  It was in this way that the grey cub learned other attributes of his mother than the soft, soothing, tongue. In his insistent crawling toward the light, he discovered in her a nose that with a sharp nudge administered rebuke, and later, a paw, that crushed him down or rolled him over and over with swift, calculating stroke. Thus he learned hurt; and on top of it he learned to avoid hurt, first, by not incurring the risk of it; and second, when he had incurred the risk, by dodging and by retreating. These were conscious actions, and were the results of his first generalizations upon the world. Before that he had recoiled automatically from hurt, as he had crawled automatically toward the light. After that he recoiled from hurt because he knew that it was hurt. Later on, London added: The cub entertained a great respect for his mother. She could get meat, and she never failed to bring him his share. Further, she was unafraid of things. It did not occur to him that this fearlessness was founded upon experience and knowledge. Its effect on him was that of an impression of power. His mother represented power; and as he grew older he felt this power in the sharper admonition of her paw; while the reproving nudge of her nose gave place to the slash of her fangs. For this, likewise, he respected his mother. She compelled obedience from him, and the older he grew the shorter grew her temper.   That is nature’s way. It is God’s way too.

iii. Don’t be inconsistent in our examples

Illustration: David and Absolom - David and Solomon - Eli and his sons -

An Example in our Love for the Lord and his church

An Example in our Love for our wives

An Example in our diligent attention to our work

An Example in our response to authority and law

B. A word about our Motives

“bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord”

This has the idea of strengthening and encouraging - “bring them up”

i. nurture - discipline

ii. admonition- instruction