Not doing as the Romans do (2)

NOT Doing as the Romans Do

Sunday October 13, 2019

Reading:

We are living in a day of sexual liberation. We’ve actually been liberated sexually for some decades, but what goes on now exceeds any generation before us. Sex before marriage in my grandparent’s day was a subject you simply did not talk about. In my parent’s day it was talked about, but behind closed doors. In my younger days as a teen, it was viewed as a badge of honour. Today it’s considered passé. Young people (and not so young people) are regularly “doing it” with the same sex, mixed sex, threesomes, groupies and more.

The sheer number of sexual partners is mind boggling, with kiwis being the worst. A survey conducted by Durex revealed New Zealand women are the most promiscuous in the world, with an average of 20.3 sexual partners. Kiwi men are also above average with 16.8 partners[1]. A gynaecologist based in Timaru says he is alarmed at the number of pregnant patients coming to him who can’t remember who they had sex with.

"It is very, very frequent. I'm not talking about one or two or three or 1000 cases. I'm talking about thousands and thousands of cases a year [nationally]."

What's more, some are proud of it. They wear their sexual popularity as a badge of honour. One young student boasted that she slept with 20 men in orientation week. Many of these encounters are alcohol-fuelled. In fact, for some girls, alcohol is required.

"Here is a culture which says if you can remember what happened yesterday you haven't had enough fun[2]."

This brings up another related health issue: the rise of STDs. New Zealand's syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhoea rates are rising, concerning health authorities. There were 548 syphilis cases in the 12 months ending March 2019, with Auckland accounting for nearly half (245). Syphilis rates increased more than 560 per cent in the past five years — up from 82 cases in 2013. If left untreated, syphilis can damage the heart, brain or other organs, and can be life-threatening. In pregnant women, syphilis can cause miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death[3].

And all of this is being assisted by our new “hook-up” culture. Back in my day a hook-up meant finding a date for the night. Today it’s finding a partner for sex. No relationship. No commitment. No strings attached. And with the latest dating apps, it’s just a swipe of your mobile phone away.

These are the waters that our young people are swimming in. Small wonder that they feel their lives are empty and without meaning. The relationships they are in (if you could even call them relationships) are empty and without meaning. But I want to tell you there is a better way. It’s not a popular way. Nor is it a particularly easy way. But it is a way that guarantees long term happiness and fulfilment. This morning I’m going to show you what that way is. So if you have a bible, turn with me to the book of 1 Thessalonians chapter 4.

Background

The context we find ourselves in is 1st century Roman Empire. Paul and his two friends Timothy and Silas arrive in the little city of Thessalonica and begin proclaiming the gospel. Soon a little church is founded. Lives are being transformed. Paul is concerned however because he knows how strong the temptation will be for these new believers to lapse back into their old way of living. Human desire is strong, the temptations are compelling, and the world they live in is corrupt. So here in chapter 4 he tackles the issue head on.

As we come to this passage, there are 3 simple questions before us. Question one is what is God calling us to do? Question two is how are we to do it? Question three is why should we do it? What, How, Why. Let’s start with the what.

1. What is God calling us to do?

Look at verse 3 with me:

“For this is God’s will, your sanctification: that you keep away from sexual immorality”

God’s will and purpose for you, if you are a Christian here today, is that you be sanctified. To be sanctified is to be set apart from sin to God. There is a positional aspect to this, when you first get saved. God sets you apart in Christ. But there is also a practical aspect to this as well in that you are progressively – day by day, becoming more like Jesus.

Paul tells us in detail what sanctification looks like; it means abstaining from all sexual sin. Porneia – that’s the word for immorality. It means any and every form of sexual practice that lies outside the circle of God’s revealed will. It includes adultery, homosexuality, premarital and extramarital intercourse, oral sex, group sex, engaging in pornography – you name it, it includes it. God says, “Don’t do any of it. Stay away from it.”

Why? Does God have something against sex? No, he created sex. He created it for pleasure and intimacy within the confines of a marriage relationship. says, “Marriage is to be honoured by all and the marriage bed kept undefiled…” You can't defile a marriage bed. Two people who are married in bed, that is undefiled, the full expression of sexual pleasure there is by God's design. It goes on to say however, “But fornicators and adulterers, God will judge.” The marriage bed, that's where the line is drawn. Any bed other than a marriage bed, God will judge.

You say, “But I really love this person.” It doesn’t matter. “But we are committed to each other.” If you are not married, it’s wrong. “But everyone else says it’s OK.” It doesn’t matter what other people say; what matters is what God says. God says keep away, hold yourself back from, abstain.

You say, “How far away?” That’s the typical question young people ask – right? They ask it all the time. How far is too far – which really means “How close can I get and still be OK?” It’s OK to hold hands, but what about kissing? And how long can that kiss go for? What about touching? And what can I touch – specifically? You see, they want to know how close to the edge of the cliff they can get without falling off. How far can I go before the real – you know, thing happens, and I’m still good? Well let me tell you, you’re asking the wrong question. The question is not how close can I get but how far I can stay away? How can I glorify God with my body, not how can I get turned on without going the whole way?

Let’s say you’re a teen who is “in relationship” with another teen. You start spending more and more time together – alone. First you’re holding hands then you’re kissing, then you’re stroking and touching and – you know where this is heading. If I was an angel looking down on this I would yell out, “You are sooooo stupid. You think that with all that testosterone and oestrogen running wild in your bodies, you can spend long amounts of time with a member of the opposite sex and not get in trouble? What planet are you on?”

There’s a thing called the Law of Diminishing Returns. Each time your body is sexually stimulated, something inside cries “MORE PLEASE!” It starts with kissing and hugging, then it goes to the next level and the next and then the next and then you get to a place where you won’t be able to stop. This is why we told our kids you’re not dating until you’re 18. We told them that when they were 6, when they couldn’t argue with us.

You say, “But you don’t know how much he loves me and cares for me…” Come on! He loves x-box. He loves his dog. He loves touch-rugby and ice cream. Next month he’ll be in love with another girl and then another and there’s a 99% chance he’s not going to marry any of you.

And you young guys – here’s a word for you: – “Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” That’s the standard for how God wants you to treat any young Christian woman: like a sister. Would you hold hands with your sister? Maybe. Would kiss her? No way. That ‘hot’ girl in your youth group – she’s your sister in Christ. Don’t treat her any other way. Don’t rob her of her innocence. Don’t steal her purity. I’m calling you on this guys because you are to take the lead in this. God is going to hold you to account. You say, “That’s not fair”. That’s life buddy – suck it up. She’s your sister in Christ. And girls – same deal, he’s your brother in Christ. Don’t go leading him on. Don’t be a flirt. Don’t send him suggestive texts or pictures on your phone. Don’t dress in a way that tempts him – or any of the guys for that matter. Boys are stimulated visually – you know that. Their fathers are working hard to teach them to keep their eyes off pretty young women like you and you don’t help things when you dress inappropriately. Save yourself for your future husband. Your job, as a follower of Jesus, is to help that brother remain pure for his future wife.

What is God calling us to do? Stay away from sexual sin. Now for the second question – How? How are we going to do that?

2. How are we to do it?

We are bombarded in this culture, with entertainment and images and songs that are sex saturated. We have bodies that are easily tempted. So how are we going to do this? Three principles – here we go:

Principle #1: Don’t let your body control you.

“that each of you knows how to control his own body in holiness and honour” (v.4)

“Each of you” – that means every one of us, individually. This is something you must do. It would be nice if we could palm this on to someone else and say, “You’re responsible for controlling my body.” That can’t be done. You must know how to control your own body in holiness and honour.

We live in a culture where the body is in control. The bottom-line philosophy is “if it feels good” what? Do it. People act on their feelings. If it feels right, then it must be good; it must be right. Its truth by feelings. At the root of this is a godless evolutionary theory that says we are just animals, products of an endless evolutionary chain. So if you feel the impulse, act on it.

Well, that kind of thinking has been around for a long time – even before Darwin. In Paul quotes a popular saying in his day. He says in verse 13, “Food is for the stomach and the stomach for food.” It’s just biological. Just like with food, sex is for the body and the body is for sex. But in the next half of the sentence Paul hits back

“and God will do away with both of them. However, the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” ()

The body should not be allowed to do anything it wants. The body should not ever be master over you. He says further down in verse 15,

“Don’t you know that your bodies are a part of Christ’s body? So should I take a part of Christ’s body and make it part of a prostitute?” ()

Are you going to let your body call the shots and indulge in sexual sin? Are you going to join Jesus to that? Don’t let your body control you, Paul says. That starts with being careful about what your body sees, what your body hears, what your body touches, what your body feels so that when the time comes when you have to exert self-control, you are in control of your body and not the other way around.

Principle #2: Don’t live like those who don’t know God

Paul says in verse 5,

“Not with lustful passions, like the Gentiles, who don’t know God.” (v.5)

The term “Gentiles” in Paul’s day was synonymous with the term “pagan.” Don’t like the pagans. They don’t know God. They have never experienced regeneration. They don’t know the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit. They have no affections for God. They have no desire to please God. They act on sinful impulse. You however, are not like that. You are very different from that. You have a new nature. Christ lives in you. You have the Word of God. In his Word God sets out a different way to live for you. It’s a life very different than the world. Don’t follow what they do.

Principle #3: Don’t take advantage of others

Paul says in verse 6,

“This means one must not transgress against and take advantage of a brother or sister in this manner” (v.6)

What does he mean here? What is he talking about? Whenever you engage in sexual sin, it not only impacts you, it impacts others around you.

· First, you hurt the person that you’ve entered into the sin with. You’ve stolen something from them; you’ve robbed them of something precious – their innocence, their purity.

· Second, you hurt those closest to you. Our families (or future families) are harmed by our sexual sin. Husbands are weakened, disabled from leadership and love in their marriage. Families are broken up. Friendships are strained. Community groups become awkward. Your sexual sin hurts these relationships.

· Third, we hurt the body of Christ. You might not ever meet the believers from China. Yet, in an unseen but very real way, your sexual sin hurts them. Sexual sin weakens the church, locally and universally. When the church is weakened in one place, all the body suffers with it.

So Paul says this is how you obey God’s command to abstain from sexual sin – 1) Don’t let your body control you, 2) Don’t live like those who don’t know God, and 3) Don’t take advantage of others. These are such simple truths, yet often neglected by so many Christians today.

That brings us to the last question – WHY? Why should we stay away from sexual sin?

3. Why should we do it?

Paul gives us three reasons. I’ll be quick with these, so listen up. Three reasons why we should abstain from sexual sin:

1. Because of God’s vengeance (v.6b)

Look at the end of verse 6 with me:

“The Lord is an avenger of all these offenses, as we also previously told and warned you.”

God will judge – that’s the warning. You say, “He won’t do that, I’m a Christian. I’m his child.” Have you not read the warning in ? It says, “the Lord disciplines the one he loves and punishes every son he receives.” How will he discipline you? Things may go belly up with your marriage, it might end in divorce, you might contract an STD, you might lose your job or loss of finances, there could be an absence of blessing, there could be trials and difficulty – even death. There are many ways in which God could avenge your sin. So, if you need a reason not to do it, to stay away from sexual sin, here’s a good one: God will avenge it.

There’s a second reason we should heed this command – look at verse 7:

2. Because of God’s calling (v.7)

“For God has not called us to impurity but to live in holiness.” (v.7)

Your call to salvation was not a call to sin but to holy living. God brought salvation through his holy, pure and sinless Son who then applies that salvation through his holy, pure and sinless Spirit in order to produce people who are holy, pure and sinless. That’s God’s goal for you. That’s where you’re heading. Sexual sin is completely inconsistent with this calling.

Finally, Paul gives us a third reason in verse 8:

3. Because of God’s Spirit (v.8)

“Consequently, anyone who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.” (v.8)

When you ignore this command, when you follow the world and pursue sexual sin, you’re not rejecting your parents, you’re not rejecting your church or your youth group. You’re rejecting God. And note – it’s the God “who give you his Holy Spirit.” Sexual sin violates your relationship with the Father, the Son and the Spirit. Paul could not have given us a strong, more compelling reason to stay sexually pure, could he?

Conclusion

We all need this message today, don’t we? I need it. The elders of this church need it. Those in spiritual leadership in our church need it. We all need it. Because we know the world we live in. And we know the weakness of our flesh.

But I know what some of you are thinking: you’re thinking, “What if I’ve already blown it? What if I’ve messed up and given in to this sin? Am I finished? Am I on God’s trash heap?” No, you aren’t. Because – listen here now, this is why Jesus came. He didn’t come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. Jesus has come to cleanse you, heal you and restore you. That’s what he did for me. I am one who messed up. I did not save myself for marriage. And I hurt other people. My sins were very great, but praise God – His grace is greater. There is power in the gospel of Jesus Christ – power to cleanse and heal.

When the Pharisees dragged the woman caught in adultery in front of Jesus, they said to him, “The Law of Moses commands that we stone such a woman. What are you going to do?” And you know what Jesus said in reply – he said let him who is without sin cast the first stone. And one by one they all left. Then he says to the woman, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you? Neither do I condemn you. From now on, do not sin anymore.”

That’s the message Jesus has for you, my friend. Yes – you have sinned. But no, Jesus does not condemn you. Not if you are repentant. Not if you come humbly to him in faith. But he doesn’t want you continuing in that sin. You can’t go back and change the past, but you can, by his grace, change your future. God wants you different. He wants you to be holy. And you can be holy, from this day onward.

Let’s pray together.

Father, we thank You again this morning for the Word and the reminder of this call to sexual purity. Lord, I pray for the young people who are sitting here this morning, who have not been honouring you in this area. Lord, may they come to grips this morning with the seriousness of that sin, may they know what they're doing, and may they be separated from it.

I pray for the married men and women in this church, that they would remain pure in their relationships, committed to their spouses, walking in the power of the Holy Spirit and loving Christ. Keep them from straying, may they be wary of the temptations of the world, the flesh and the devil. We know You have every right to bring chastening, to enact Your vengeance and retribution. May that drive fear into every one of our hearts.

For those here who have fallen, who have committed sin in the past, may they experience afresh your cleansing power through the blood of Christ. May they be reminded of your promise to remove our sins as far as the east is from the west. May they rejoice in your abounding grace Lord Jesus.

I pray all these things in the wonderful name of our Saviour, Amen.

[1] https://ilovenz.me/most-promiscuous-women-in-the-world/

[2] Dr Albert Mackay: https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10737380

[3] A recent report by the Institute of Environmental Science and Research: https://www.esr.cri.nz/our-services/consultancy/public-health/sti/