The Wife's Duty of Submission Pt. 2

Christ is restoring what was lost in the fall by saving sinners and giving them the holy Spirit to walk in obedience to his will.

Review

-The Fall has had effects on the marriage relationship.

-Our passage is the fundamentals of a holy marriage, the way God has set up authority in the home.

-God has assigned wives to be submissive to their husbands, to yield under his leadership.

The Basis For This Submission

Headship defined

Head: authority, chief, master, lord. So the husband is the Head, he is the one entrusted with authority in the home. Headship means he is to be the provider, protector, and leader of the home.

When a woman marries, she voluntarily takes on herself the authority of her husband. She aligns herself under his leadership. She takes the role of number 2, the support role.

The Order of Creation

Titus 2:3–5 ESV

3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Colossians 3:18 ESV

18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

1 Corinthians 14:34 ESV

34 the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says.

1 Corinthians 11:3–5 ESV

3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, 5 but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven.

1 Corinthians 11:1–3 ESV

1 Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. 2 Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. 3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

1 Corinthians 11:3–5 ESV

3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, 5 but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven.

1 Cor. 11:1-

1 Timothy 2:12–14 ESV

12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.

Our instructions are rooted in God’s order of creation. The headship of husbands has been from creation. This means that these apply at every time and in every culture. They aren’t antiquated reliques of paul’s patriarchal time, they are God’s order of creation.

His Role and Responsibility is to lead sacrificially for the benefit of his family and the glory of God. God specifically created him first to indicate this.

Read

The Husband has authority to lead the family in God’s paths and the wife’s role is to support her husband with nurture and care so he can carry out these duties.

Here we see that:

The creation of the woman:

-The Husband was inadequate alone? For what? To wash the laundry or clean the house? To make babies? No, to reflect the glory of God. Man alone was an imperfect reflection of God’s glory.

-So God made woman and she was made specifically to be his helper. To complement him!

-She was made from him, showing she was equal not lesser or of another kind, and she was made for him for the purpose of helping, surrendering, and complementing him!

We could say ladies you were CREATED TO COMPLEMENT!

So wives, you fulfill God’s intended design for you when you submit to your husband. By doing so you make up what he lacks as God’s image bearer and together you better reflect God’s glory and show who he is. This doesn’t mean that women are so impotent that they couldn’t make it without men, rather that either one on their own is insufficient to fulfill God’s purpose and reflect his image clearly, but together they make they can do this.

· Wife – gives to the husband supportive nurture and care so that he can carry out these duties.

The first woman was made specifically for the first man, a helper, to meet, respond to , surrender to, and complement him. God made her from the man, out of his very bone, and then he brought her to the man. When Adam named Eve, he accepted responsibility to “husband” her – to provide for her, to cherish her, to protect her. These two people together represent the image of God – one of them in a special way the initiator, the other the responder. Neither the one nor the other was adequate to bear the divine image.”

This forms the basis for roles in marriage. This is God’s design! Ladies, you are to find your joy and fulfillment in the completion of your husband , not being independent of him. By submitting to your husband you form a mutual completeness.

As God’s image bearers they both lack something but when they come together and function in God’s designed roles they better reflect God’s Glory and show who he is.

The Roles In Marriage:

This doesn’t mean that women are so impotent that they couldn’t make it without men, rather that either one on their own is insufficient to fulfill God’s purpose and reflect his image clearly, but together they make they can do this.

Find your joy and fulfillment in the completion of your husband. By submitting to your husband you form a mutual completeness.

“· Husband – has authority for the sacrificial responsibility of biblical headship. Designed to lead the family in the paths of God.

· Wife – gives to the husband supportive nurture and care so that he can carry out these duties.

Proof Verses

Titus 2:3–5 ESV

3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Colossians 3:18 ESV

18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

1 Corinthians 14:34 ESV

34 the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says.

1 Corinthians 11:3–5 ESV

3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, 5 but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven.

1 Cor

1 Timothy 2:12–14 ESV

12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.

Summary

His Role and Responsibility is to lead sacrificially for the benefit of his family and the glory of God. God specifically created him first to indicate this.

The Husband has authority to lead the family in God’s paths and the wife’s role is to support her husband with nurture and care so he can carry out these duties.

Clarification

Ultimately God was showing us a picture of Christ in his Church. God originally instituted marriage with this hidden purpose in mind, to display Christ’s love for his bride! Every marriage, especially Christian marriage has the priviledge of being a divine play, an exercise where we get to portray the relationship of Christ and his Bride and to demonstrate their love relationship!

Ladies your assignment for #2 does not mean you are utterly useless and impotent. You are not entirely weak, though you might have some weaknesses compared to men, for the most part many ladies have great inner strength and fortitude. God invites you to use your gifts in service to him. To demonstrate your love for him and obedience to him by your submission to your husband.

Every woman desires this!

She doesn’t want a man she can boss around, but one she can look up to, who she can respect, who she can follow.

Ephesians: An Expositional Commentary The Duty of Wives

Moreover, this is what wives really want. We hear much to the contrary today, particularly from women’s liberation spokespersons, and we might therefore think that women want to dominate their husbands—and should, if they have the brains and will to do it. But this is the devil’s lie. No good woman (indeed, hardly any woman at all) wants a man she can boss around. She wants a man she can look up to, whose judgment she can respect, and whose leadership she can respond to. If she does not get this in her man, she feels cheated. True, wives are sinners like their husbands. Wives will press their husbands on the question of mastery. They will fight for their own way. But deep inside, what wives really want is a man who will rule them and their home—gently and with love, to be sure—but rule them nevertheless.

Boice, J. M. (1988). Ephesians: an expositional commentary (p. 199). Grand Rapids, MI: Ministry Resources Library.

The Wife’s Example

Christ: Jesus was not less than the father, but was co-equal to the father and yet he voluntarily submitted himself to his father’s will and aligned himself under his purposes. Jesus is your example!

The Church: the church is not co-leader with Christ, or co-savior, or co-protector, or co-provider. The Church does not share joint roles with Christ. He is the head of his Church. No the church enjoys some authority under his leadership but not along side of him. Likewise, wives are to be under the authority of their husbands. They are not merely partners working alongside each other, but they are working together with different roles and jobs.

The Extent of Her Submission

In Everything

The attitude of the heart, and the actions of the life. Honor and reverence your husband.

Clarification: Submission does not mean a woman doesn’t drive a car, write a check, or only and always works in the home. . It means that she never does any of these in a way that robs her husband of respect. “The wife arranges her resources, abilities, and gifts under her husband to honor and support him!.

In any circumstance, in every aspect of life you are to submit to your husband. If your husband is a Christian or not, if your husband is a sinner or not.

Every woman desire this!

Exceptions

She doesn’t want a man she can boss around, but one she can look up to, who she can respect, who she can follow.

You are under no obligation to follow anyone who leads you contrary to scripture and God’s will. You say like the Apostles, it’s better to obey God rather than men!

Objections

This means women are of lesser value!

What about Christ? Jesus was not less than the father, but was co-equal to the father and yet he voluntarily submitted himself to his father’s will and aligned himself under his purposes. Jesus is your example!

You establish your value, when you assume your role! It’s ladies who are rebellious and insubordinate that have lost their value! Our culture has diminished the significance of women and sought to make them like men. But ladies, you are not to be a man, you loose your value when that happens. When you accept your role, you establish your importance, not as the leader of your home, but as the chief supporter who works diligently to make her husband successful, to aide and assist him, that kind of woman is invaluable! Even more a submissive Godly wife is a rare thing, and therefore a valuable thing, even to our Lord.

2. My husband doesn’t lead.

Follow him where you can, and submit where you can, respect him where you can. God will take care of your husband, you purpose to do the best you can.

Application

By the way, be careful ladies of having company with other women who make a practice of being critical or demeaning of their husbands. Ladies, when you get together make sure you are not falling into the trap of using your husbands as fodder for jokes. Don’t do it!

3. This means I can never disagree with him.

No a loving submissive wife can and should disagree with her husband.

“· Ken Hughes: The fact that a wife wants to honor her husband’s leadership if possible does not mean she will sit in mute silence. Questioning his reasoning or acquainting him with his error is not evidence of a rebellious spirit, but rather of love. Refusing to support his moral folly is not sin. A Christian wife can stand with Christ against her husband with a humble, loving spirit, which indicates her longing to honor his headship. The attitude is, of course, the key.”

4. My Husband is not a wise as me/He’s Imperfect/He’s not worthy!

But is your Lord worthy? No husband is perfect and will be completely worthy of your efforts, but you’re not doing it for him!

5. Your saying I should worship my husband

This is not husband worship. Not joy in your submission, but joy in your God.

6. My husband is abusive?

If you are being physically abused by you husband, it’s time you consider separating from him. Now maybe theirs an opportunity to reconcile, each case is different, but God expects no lady to stay in that situation, and as a matter of fact you let us guys in the Church know and we’ll help you move out!

This is not husband worship. Not joy in your submission, but joy in your God.

Your Submission Matures your Husband

By Your Nurture of Him

Bryan Chappel: By the qualities they bring to the marriage, some wives teach their husbands tenderness. Many add to their husbands’ strength. Each wife should discover the pleasure of using the unique ways God has enabled her to make her husband know he is special in her eyes, for as she does so, the man knows the deepest pleasures of God’s care even when other aspects of life are troubling. The woman who submits her life to God’s purposes enables a man to know the glory of being treasured by God, even when the world seems to disregard him. A man who knows such glory, because of the support of his wife, will love and honor her more deeply than either of them could otherwise imagine.

By your submission to Him

Sarah’s Glowing Example

Application:

1 Peter 3:1–6 ESV

1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

1 Peter 3

-Won by the conduct of the wives.

-A gentle and quiet spirit. Trusting God and quieting your heart. Not afraid not giving in to sudden terrors.

Practical Application:

-Do something he likes in a certain way, even though your way might be better.

-Prepare a meal for him that he likes, even though you might like something else.

-Refuse to have constant company with other ladies who take pleasure at the expense of their spouses.