Raising Amazing Kids – Part 4

Raising Amazing Kids – Part 4

Raising Amazing Kids – Part 5

WHEN TREASURE REMAINS HIDDEN

May 28-29, 2011

(NLT) 1 O my people, listen to my instructions. Open your ears to what I am saying, 2 for I will speak to you in a parable. I will teach you hidden lessons from our past— 3 stories we have heard and known, stories our ancestors handed down to us. 4 We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders. 5 For he issued his laws to Jacob; he gave his instructions to Israel. He commanded our ancestors to teach them to their children, 6 so the next generation might know them— even the children not yet born— and they in turn will teach their own children. 7 So each generation should set its hope anew on God, not forgetting his glorious miracles and obeying his commands. 8 Then they will not be like their ancestors— stubborn, rebellious, and unfaithful, refusing to give their hearts to God.

Welcome! What a great weekend. So good to have you at Saddleback Church. I want to say welcome to all of our Saddleback campuses and our venues. I’m the children’s pastor here at Saddleback as Rick said. I’m so very proud of all of our Saddleback kid volunteers and our staff members. Very proud of our junior high and our high school volunteers. We appreciate you so very much.

Raising Amazing Kids – Part 5

Pastor Steve Adams

May 28-29, 2011

Welcome! What a great weekend. So good to have you at Saddleback Church. I want to say welcome to all of our Saddleback campuses and our venues. I’m the children’s pastor here at Saddleback as Rick said. I’m so very proud of all of our Saddleback kid volunteers and our staff members. Very proud of our junior high and our high school volunteers. We appreciate you so very much.

I’m from Tennessee. When we need to relax or when we need to unwind we would shoot stuff. In California they frown on that. A little adjustment on my part. I don’t shoot as many things as I used to. But we all have things that we like to do to relax and unwind. I like to get audience interaction on things like this. I’m a little afraid to ask this question for live interaction: What do you do to relax and unwind? So I’m just going to leave it at that.

Now that I can’t just go out and shoot things like I did before, one thing I really enjoy when I want to just relax and just to chill for a while, I really enjoy going to the movies. There’s certain genre of movies I really enjoy. I’m sure like you, that certain ones I’d really rather ram my head into a wall than to have to sit through certain movie types – dramas, most romantic comedies, those are the things that my wife Stephanie would really like me to like. It’s like somebody’s just jamming something in my gut when I’m watching these things. I fake through it and try to act like I enjoy it. But here’s one thing I learned. For you guys who have maybe just gotten married, if you make a big deal about it now, you’ll get a Get Out of Jail Free card later. Try it and see how it works for you and let me know.

But one of the genres of movies I really like is the whole pirate scene. How many have seen the new movie Pirates of the Caribbean? I really enjoyed it. It’s my kind of movie. It’s got ships and sailors and pirates and people dying – shoot each other, stab each other, all the wholesome basic stuff, the stuff that really builds and edifies. I’ll walk out of there super close to God. Super close! I’m not saying this is devotions for me. But it’s pretty close. But I really enjoy this type of movie.

They’ve made six, seven, eight of these. It’s at the point that they’re really not good any more. I’ll still go see them. I will still go see them just to get that good basic, wholesome, stab, shoot and all that. That’s just the kind of thing I like. It helps me to unwind and relax because I don’t have to think during a movie like that.

I think and strategize and plan and fix things all day. Like a lot of you. When I go to the theaters the last thing I want to do is think. If you think that’s shallow or ignorant, oh well. I don’t know what to say other than I just don’t want to think when I go to movies. I really don’t.

But ironically, having said that, while I was at Pirates of the Caribbean, it did make me think. I was really bothered by that in fact! But it caused me to think about some of the things that we’ve been talking about in our series on Raising Amazing Kids.

Here’s what I want you to do. For those of you who don’t have kids at home, maybe you don’t have young kids or even teenagers at home, I want you to tune in. Because these tips I’m going to share with you tonight, they do apply to you and you can incorporate these principles into your walk with Christ and make you a stronger believer as a result. But especially for those of us who have kids at home. And we have this desire to help our kids find what’s really most important in life. The title of this message is When Treasure Remains Hidden.

If you notice we’ve decided this weekend for you to be a little more creative with your notes. So we didn’t want to box you in quite as much as we normally do. But this idea of when treasure remains hidden, it kind of fits with this movie thing. It kind of fits with the Pirates of the Caribbean, because we want our kids to find the real true treasure in life. We want them to find what really matters.

In this movie series, Pirates of the Caribbean, this particular one, their treasure is typically gold and fame and fortune. But in this one it’s the Fountain of Youth, they’re searching for the Fountain of Youth. So the treasure that they’re pursuing is the Fountain of Youth. And who wouldn’t want to partake of the Fountain of Youth. The joints move a little better, a little younger, not quite as much hair loss… I struggle with that so bad that they actually wanted to put stuff on my head because they said it was shining too much last service. So this whole Fountain of Youth thing is really more appealing to me right now than it ever has been.

But in this pursuit they were willing to do anything and everything to get to their objective which was the Fountain of Youth. It is their treasure.

The things that I noticed, the parallels that I want to share with you up front before we actually get into the heart of the message this weekend is this, three observations, three parallels that I saw in the Pirates of the Caribbean and their pursuit of this treasure as it relates to our pursuit in helping our kids discover the treasure that really does matter.

Here’s the first one. I noticed that the pathway for these pirates, the pathway to the treasure is not always clear and easy.

The pathway is not always clear and easy. They always seemed to have real difficulty. There’s not a real clear step, never a real clear process in finding the treasure.

Honestly, how many of you, if you knew then what you know now, how many of you would have had kids? They can’t hear you; it’s ok! I love my sons. I would die for either one of my sons. I’m very proud of both of them. They mean so much to me. But there are those days… Nod your head so I don’t feel like an absolute cad up here. There are those days where we think, really? This is really what it is about? This is what parenting really is? I didn’t know that it was going to be like this. It’s not always clear and it’s not always easy.

And that’s something I saw in this movie. The pirates never really had clear and easy steps to get to where they wanted to go.

Here’s another, just an interesting thing I want to give you as we look into the Word this weekend.

The treasure that they were seeking, they very seldom ever just stumbled upon it.

Have you ever noticed that? When pirates are looking for treasure they don’t just accidently stumble across it. “There it is Bob! I guess we can go back to the ship! We’re good here.” No. It’s very intentional. It’s very committed. It’s a very intentional, committed pursuit of that objective. It doesn’t just come easy.

I don’t have to tell you – Mom, Dad, Grandpa, Grandma – I don’t have to tell you that this concept of raising kids, especially raising amazing kids, it requires an absolute intentional and committed pursuit for it to work. And it’s not easy.

But here is the third thing that really kind of gripped me, that made me think about what we’ve been talking about here at Saddleback Church.

There was really only one map and it was destroyed and this whole idea of the Fountain of Youth was simply stories. But it was stories that were told over and over and over.

It started to intrigue the pirates. The more it was talked about, the more they wanted to find it.

It took me back to the Scripture. It took me back to the Israelites. This weekend we want to talk about what that real treasure is. I’m going to ask you a question. It may come across a little harsh but I want you to think about this. In the pirate movie they’re pursuing the Fountain of Youth. That’s their treasure. But what treasure are you and your family pursuing? Think about that for a second. What treasure are you and your family pursuing?

We want our kids to succeed. We want our kids to do well. But at what price? Think about that. Be honest. Don’t think about the Sunday school answers. Don’t think about the right answers. Just think honestly to yourself, you don’t have to say it out loud. But think about your life. What are you and your family really pursuing? What treasures are you really pursuing?

Is it security? Is it wealth that you want for your child? Is it social status? Is it recognition? Is it health? What is it?

What is the treasure that you and your family are pursuing? What pathway do you have your kids on as it relates to pursing this treasure?

It all comes back to how we define treasure and how we define success. Because for me if we equate success and treasure, I may want “this” for my kids when somebody else may want “that.”

Our perspectives are great. It’s fantastic that God gave us unique perspectives. Have you ever gone to a movie with your wife or your husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, whatever, and you watched the movie and when the movie was over, they hated it and you loved it. Yeah!

I’ve experienced this even with staff members here. Kurt Johnston, our junior high pastor, we went to a movie once, not long ago. When the movie was done, I was waiting for the ending to hit and I already had what I wanted to say. I was going to turn to Kurt and say, “Kurt that was the dumbest movie.” I was just getting ready to say, that was the dumbest movie! When he said to me, “That was the best!” I said, really? Did you fall asleep and have a cool dream? Tell me what went on, because that’s not what I saw. We had two completely different perspectives.

Sometimes you expect that with your spouse. Sometimes you expect that with tv shows or movies. You expect it’s going to be that big difference of perspective. But to sit at the movies with a good friend, another guy… I was thinking, surely we saw the same thing. But perspectives are so unique. Two people can look at exactly the same thing and see it exactly different.

I have never been accused of being an expert in art, any art. I could color in the lines. I was a mad man with the glitter. But no one ever said, I think he has a future in art. I took art appreciation in college and got a C like a lot of you. That’s just because I showed up and signed in. So no one has ever accused me of being one who was really tuned in or real educated as relates to the arts.

I really wanted to understand this. Not to the point I was going to real lengths, but at least a little bit. I was at the art museum in Chicago. I was just walking around. I was amazed at some of the artwork. Some of it I connected with. A bowl of fruit! I get that! I realize I’m describing myself as almost an imbecile. I’m just being honest with you. I look at a picture of a bowl of fruit and I know exactly what that is. There’s not much interpretation to it.

I was watching this group of people walking around the art museum and I was listening to the conversation. I thought, these guys really sound like they know what they’re talking about. I am going to follow them and I am going to learn what it is that they’re seeing. I’m going to understand their perspective with this art. So I followed these people around from a distance, so I’m not a creeper. I’m following them around. They’re looking at these pieces of art and they’re saying all these incredible things.

I am not making this up. This is the truth. This happened. There was a painting on the wall. It was in a case. You couldn’t get to it and touch it. It was roped off. People are looking at it and I really thought I was missing something. There are not too many times I find myself completely out of the loop, when I can’t even pretend to understand what’s going on. But I felt about as small as an ant. I probably felt dumber in that moment than at any point in my life; and I’ve had many of those experiences. I’m looking at this piece of art and they’re saying, “You can really see the mood of the artist. You can really understand where he’s coming from. This is by far one of his boldest works…” blah, blah, blah! I’m looking at them and I’m looking at the picture. I look back at them. I’m thinking, “They’re out of sight. They must be looking around the corner at something.” There was no corner! It was a flat wall!

It wasn’t matching up. It was a dot! It was a black dot on a white piece of what looked like card board. They were standing there and they were acting like, have you ever seen such a thing?

And I’m like, I am missing this. What is going on? I was trying so hard. I like had a mental cramp I tried so hard. I tried to stay with these guys and understand what in the name of our creator are they looking at, because my kindergartener can do that. I can do that!

I couldn’t get it. It was simply because the perspectives are so different. And perspectives are cool and they are God’s gift to you and me. You and I, we own our perspective. God’s given it to us. We have the right to have them just because God allows us to have that perspective.

Here’s where our perspective gets us in trouble. When my perspective and God’s perspective collide and they’re not aligned. That happens. There are times when my perspective and how I see things don’t line up with how God sees them and how God interprets them.

What is it that we want for our kids? What is the treasure on this journey that we’re on together Raising Amazing Kids, what is the treasure? What is the object that we want our kids to obtain? Whether it’s in our mind – you think, I want them to have good grades go to college, be a good gymnast, a good martial artist, a good athlete, a good musician – whatever. Those are all fantastic. But sometimes we can get so caught up in the treasures that we see with our physical eyes that we miss the one true treasure that matters most of all that we cannot see with our physical eyes.

says this “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. [And you must] Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” He tells us right here, the end goal. This is it! This is the treasure that really matters. This is the pursuit that he wants us on. It’s to love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your strength.

When I love God with all that’s within me – all of my heart, my soul, my strength – that’s a heart that is yielded to God. That’s a heart that is obedient to God. That is a heart that is faithful to God.

We look at that list and go, “If my child can have a heart that is yielded to God, obedient to God, and faithful to God, I would be happy. That would make him a perfect child.”

It’s not about perfection. It’s about this. It’s about the pursuit. If it was about perfection, I couldn’t stand here in front of you today and deliver this perfect Word, because the Word of God is perfect. It’s infallible. How can a fallible being present such things? Only because of the grace of God. Only because God’s grace is so much bigger than I can ever fathom or understand.

And he says to us, this is the treasure that really matters: that you love God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength. That is the heart. When I live and I love that way, that is a heart that is yielded to God, it’s obedient to God, and it’s faithful to God.

In the movie, this treasure that they’re after, this Fountain of Youth, it was a very coveted treasure. It was intriguing, it was exciting; it was full of promise and hope. And they were passionate; they were committed in their pursuit to find it. But this passion was fueled by the constant story of the Fountain of Youth. The more they talked about it, the longer they kept the legacy alive, the more they wanted to discover what they hoped was the truth. It was powerful enough that in the movie people were willing to risk everything, including their lives, to find it. This story kept the passion alive.

God has instructed us in our day and time to keep his story alive. In the Old Testament and even the New Testament, the primary mode of communication was verbal. That’s how they passed everything down from generation to generation to generation. Of course it is a little bit different obviously for us today. But the idea is what I’m going to talk about, about sharing the story, passing down the story. I’m not just talking about getting in a circle and telling the story, the plot or something like that. I’m talking about the big picture of keeping the pursuit of our heart, being yielded and obedient and faithful to God, keeping it alive and feeling that passion with our kids. We’re admonished to do this.

says “I don’t want you to forget, dear brothers and sisters, what happened to our ancestors in the wilderness long ago.” Then the apostle Paul goes on to say in verse 6 of the same chapter, “These events happened as a warning to us so that we would not crave the evil things as they did or worship idols as some of them did.”

Now we jump down to verse 11. Paul finished by saying, “All these events happened to them as an example for us. They were written down to warn us, those of us who live in a time when this age is drawing to a close.” Paul was referencing a very difficult time in the life of the Israelites. It wasn’t even so much a specific time but a legacy, an unfortunate legacy that they had left.

I want to rewind and back up. I know it’s a familiar story for some of you, but for some it may not be. In the book of Exodus, God’s people, the Israelites, are slaves in Egypt. The Israelite kids who grew up in that era, all they knew was slavery. It was very common to worship idols in Egypt. It was just a part of the culture. So you can see how it would be really easy for an Israelite kid growing up in that culture to think that’s just what happens.

God empowers Moses and anoints Moses. He comes to Pharaoh. You know what happened. Pharaoh says, ok you can go because of the plagues and everything else. The Israelites leave Egypt. And they witness some incredible things. Seriously! The Red Sea. How cool would that be to watch? Being led by a pillar of fire and a cloud. How cool would it be to see the things that they actually saw with their own eyes? Sometimes we’re kind of critical of the Israelites because they saw these incredible things and still made dumb choices.

But before we judge them, let’s follow for just a few minutes. The Israelites are led out of Egypt. They’re away from Pharaoh. They’re free. They’re on their way to Canaan, the Promised Land, the land that God had set aside for them. God had given them some very specific instructions. I think I even mentioned this when I spoke to you a few weeks ago. God gave them very specific instructions to erase the population in the land because they were very prone to worship idols. And God said you cannot do that. You allow idol worshipers in your life, it’s going to crowd me out. You can’t do that.

God leads them to Mt. Sinai. Moses goes up onto the mountain to receive the Ten Commandments. He receives the Ten Commandments and coming back down he hears what sounds like a giant party. So he comes down off the mountain top and he goes to the Israelite camp and there they are having a party. Right there in the middle is a golden calf.

Cows were the primary object of worship in Egypt. They fell right back into their old habits. They fell right back into their old choices. When Moses was gone they didn’t now what else to do. In fact they said this man Moses who led us out of Egypt, he’s gone and we don’t know where he is. He’s only gone for a little while. That’s how impatient they were. They went to Aaron, Moses’ brother, and talked him into taking all their jewelry, melting it down and creating this calf.

Moses comes down, sees it, he goes off the deep end. He loses it. The people are punished. It’s sad but it’s also very funny. When he goes to Aaron and says, “Aaron, what’s wrong with you? How could you do this? The very commands that God has just given, number two on the list was not to worship idols.”

It’s kind of like you tell your kids, “I don’t care what you do, just make sure these dishes aren’t on the table when I come back down to the kitchen.” Then you come back down and the dishes are on the table. “I spoke English. I don’t now how else to communicate with you right now. I can send a smoke signal. I can write something for you. I said to clean it.” Have you ever experienced that? Again, thank you for making me feel like the worst dad in the world!

But Moses came down and this is a much, much bigger deal. He goes, what happened? I love Aaron’s response. He said, don’t get mad at me. , “You know yourself, Moses, that these people are wicked. You know how wicked they are. They said to me, ‘Make us some gods to lead us for something has happened to this man Moses who led us out of Egypt.’ So I told them, ‘Bring me your gold earrings.’ When they brought them to me I threw them into the fire and out came this calf!’”

Doesn’t he sound like a child? He sounds just like a child. I threw the stuff in and Moses, I don’t know what happened. Like “What happened to the lamp?” “I don’t know! I was over here and it like fell over! I don’t know what happened.” You ever heard something like that?

Or, “How did your little brother get a bloody nose?” “I don’t know. I was like walking by him. I may have bumped him, I don’t know. I don’t know what happened.” What do you mean you don’t know what happened? There were only two of you in the room. His nose is bleeding! What happened?

That’s what Aaron’s saying to Moses. I don’t know what happened.

That’s what Paul was saying. He was saying to us, we have to look back to the Israelites’ life. They tell the story. So that our sons and our daughters don’t fall into the same trap that they were in century after century after century, worshiping idols, worshiping idols. When the Israelites didn’t know what to do they fell back to what they had always done – worshiping idols, worshiping idols.

This journey that they were on together, raising amazing kids, here’s why I told you those things. It truly is a journey and we have to have God’s perspective on what is an amazing kid? What should our kids be pursuing? It’s not the comforts and the pleasures of this life. As the Word says, “You seek first the kingdom of God and everything else will be added.” It’s saying you seek God first then the other things will come. But we get it backwards. I’m more like the Israelites than I want to admit. Sometimes my physical eyes don’t see it, I want to create it, because it’s comfortable. As human beings we fall back to those things.

So we’re on a journey. On a journey before you go anywhere there are three questions I believe we have to ask ourselves as parents and as Christ followers. Here are those three things. To successfully raise amazing kids and help kids understand the real treasure, the treasure that matters, here’s three questions you and I, on this journey with our children, have to ask.

One, we have to ask, Where are we now?

Where are we now? Some years back, actually a lot of years back, when I was probably fifteen, I was a part of this boy’s group kind of like boy scouts called Royal Rangers. I was in this junior leadership training corp. We had a competition. All the junior leaders had like a platoon group. There was a competition. We were in the mountains. The competition was you were given a map, you were given a compass and you were given coordinates. The first one to get to the destination – we were all going to the same spot, just different routes. But we had to follow the coordinates. The first one there wins. I wanted to win.

So the group I was with, I was the leader. We had to all do different things, carry things, set things up. They gave me the map and I’m following along on the map, using my compass. We had fallen behind a little bit. We had to make up some time so we started really hustling. There were adults who were watching from a distance, just monitoring us. But they were out of sight. But we knew they were out there somewhere. My group moved so fast, we got so far ahead of the one monitoring us, they didn’t know where we were. But it’s ok because I had the map and I had the compass. I knew exactly where we were. No problem.

But a couple people in the group, actually the entire group, started questioning me on where we were. I said, Fellows! Relax! I got this! I know how to use this map. I know how to read it. I know how to use this compass. I’ve got the coordinates and we’re on the right track. Relax and let’s do our jobs and keep moving. I want to win this thing.

So we kept going and we kept going and we kept going. The end of a very long story is this; we were so lost they had to send a search group in to find us. We weren’t really in danger or anything like that it was just the fact that it was nightfall. We were out in the middle of nowhere and nobody knew where we were and there were no cell phones and radios wouldn’t work up there where we were. So we were lost. And it was pretty embarrassing when they brought us back on these motor vehicles. All the other groups were in the camp and they had their flags set up and they were there. And here we came, having to be given supper late at night because we got lost. But we didn’t get lost because I didn’t know how to use the map, or because I didn’t know how to use the compass. We got lost because I didn’t know where we were starting from. I thought we were in one place but in reality we were in another. So you have to know where you are.

Inside of this question of knowing where you are on this journey you can just picture a map; picture a treasure map. For you to get to the destination you have to first know where you are. You can’t get to where you want to go until you first know where you are. So we ask ourselves this question: Where are we? Here are several points I want you to understand.

One, learn from your past but don’t dwell on it.

As we’re admonished to tell the story and to remind future generations of the mistakes of previous generations, it’s important for us to look back on our past, but we can’t dwell on it. The past serves us well if we look back on it long enough to learn and then we direct our attention forward; because we don’t really help ourselves by dwelling on the past. We have to focus on the present and the future but we have to at the same time learn from the past. You say, there are things in my life I don’t want my kids to know about. I get that. I understand that. You’ll know what you should and shouldn’t tell your kids. But we need to be able to look back and learn from our past and share that with our kids.

Here’s the second thing. For you to really know where you are on the map you need to honestly evaluate your current situation.

When I say honestly evaluate your current situation I mean this: We think about where we are and how we’re doing – sometimes we want to kind of build ourselves up. We want to think we’re doing better than we are. This isn’t meant to be a downer. But for you to really have a good grasp on where you are, seeing where you need to be, you have to honestly evaluate your situation. Honestly evaluate your lifestyle, your choices. Am I, as a dad, am I making lifestyle choices that help my children on their pathway to becoming amazing kids?

The third thing is to find the correct starting point.

I kind of mentioned that before – find the correct starting point – but I want to take it a step further. says “And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I’m giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them in your home and when you’re away on a journey, when you’re lying down and when you’re getting up again. Tie them to your hands as a reminder and wear them on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

What is he telling us? He’s telling us simply this. He’s telling us, me as a dad, I am the primary discipler of my children. Wherever I am and whatever I’m doing I have a responsibility, I have an obligation as a steward of my children’s spiritual well being to disciple them and to disciple them to the best of my ability. And again, it’s not about perfection. It’s all about the pursuit.

You’re probably wondering why I’m walking back and forth with a rope are you not? If you’re not you’re asleep and you should be wondering this.

Guys, I want to show you. This rope, each foot of this rope represents one hour in your child’s week. You have exactly one hundred sixty-eight hours in a week. This rope is actually one hundred sixty-five feet long. So if you can imagine, this is how long your children are at home. Granted, part of it they’re at school. There’s some sleep time in here as well. But I just want you to see this: ‘this’ represents how much time we have them at church. If your child’s involved in the weekend services, outstanding, mom and dad! Way to go! I’m proud of you for having them involved. If they’re involved in a kids’ small group, a step further. Way to go mom and dad. That is awesome. But that only accounts for about three hours of their week. Three hours. Compared to this.

When my pipes leak I call not ghostbusters. When my pipes leak I call the plumber. When my car doesn’t work I call the mechanic. When my roof leaks I call a carpenter. It’s really easy to think of the spiritual development of my child, I take them to church. I pay my tithes. Disciple them.

But the problem is we don’t want to do that. You have to understand that Saddleback Kids and Wildside and high school, it’s all people that we believe our destiny, our very purpose for being created is to serve you and to love on your kids. That’s the essence of our being. We eat, drink, breathe and sleep the intentional discipleship process of your children. But ‘this’ is how long we have them in a week. You and I as parents, we are the primary disciplers of our kids. This is going to be important to remember in just a little while.

I want to tell you about the second point as we’re starting to close down. That is this. First we have to know where we are on this treasure hunt that we’re on of knowing what’s really important, what our kids should really be pursing that is loving God with all of my heart, all of my soul, all of my strength. We have to know where we are in that process.

The second thing is so obvious. We have to know where we’re going.

We have to know where we’re going. Can you imagine a captain getting on a ship with no coordinates, no map, no destination, and he just stands there. What’s going to happen to that ship? It’s going to run aground. Because the tossing and the turning of the waves is going to drive it right into the shore. The ship has no chance. So we have to be intentional about where we want our kids to go. So as you look at the map you can see this is where I am and this is where I want to be. This is where I am in my situation with my kids. And this is where I want to go.

“For he issued this decree to Jacob. He gave his law to Israel. He commanded our ancestors to teach them to our children so the next generation might know them. Even the generations that are not yet born. That they in turn might teach their children so each generation can set its hopes anew on God. Remembering his glorious miracles and obeying his commands. [Now listen to this. This is key.] Then they will not be like their ancestors, stubborn, rebellious unfaithful, refusing to give their hearts to God.”

The writer in Psalms is telling us we want our kids to be fully devoted followers of Christ. We want them to not be stubborn but to be yielded to God. We want them to not be rebellious but be obedient to God. To not be unfaithful but to be faithful to God.

So here’s a real easy action step I want to give you guys in determining your destination with your kids. We want them to be Christ’s followers. We want them to love God with everything that’s in them.

Here’s one small action step: Write some specific goals for your kids.

It’s a proven fact that most of us in this room do not have written goals. Most of us have not taken the time to write on paper or to type out what our goals are for our life. How many of us have goals for our kids? You could have a hundred pages of good character qualities and attributes and things you want your kids to know or do. But here’s what I want you to do just the first step. Write several specific goals that you have for your kid.

Like for example: I would really like my child to be respectful. Write that down as a specific goal. Hold on to that thought. We’re going to come back to that in just a second. Write specific goals for your children.

The third thing you have to know on this treasure journey that we’re on in trying to help our kids discover the right treasure, the treasure that really matters. You have to know where you are; you have to know where you’re going.

And lastly you have to know how you are going to get there.

The Scripture tells us that we’re to make the most of every opportunity that comes our way. But one thing I know just like when you get on a boat, you have to be intentional about where you’re taking that craft or the sea will take it over. We have to be intentional about how we raise and disciple and build into our kids; because if we’re not intentional, then the old ways will kick in. I’m not saying you’re going to go melt down your earrings and create an idol for them to worship. But if we’re not intentional we’re going to give in to the busyness and the hurry and the pursuit of the things that we can see. And we’re going to lose sight of what really matters. Then we’ll look back years down the road and go, man! I really missed it there.

I want to give you five simple steps. They’re not necessarily going to blow your mind. It’s not even book worthiness to say. But I want to give you five simple steps that you can do with your kids right now that will help you be more intentional about the discipleship process of your kids and helping them on this journey to discover the treasures that really matter.

1) The first one is this: Pray over your children.

I didn’t say just pray for. Pray over your children. I have an agenda tonight right now, at this moment. My agenda is this. I want to double-dog dare you, triple-dog dare you, if you know anything about the playground, that’s automatic. You can’t contest a triple dog. I want to triple- dog dare you tonight before your kids go to bed, if they’re in your house, if they’re two or twenty, I want to triple-dog dare you to go up beside your son or your daughter before they go to bed, lay your hand on their shoulder and pray a prayer of blessing on them tonight. That’s all of us. All of us at Saddleback Church, let’s do that tonight. Let’s lay our hands on the shoulder of our child and pray a prayer that’s as simple as this. You don’t have to be a theologian, a pastor, a priest, a pope. You can just pray this. “God, I love this kid. Aggravates the life out of me but I love them.[You can leave that part out.] I know you have a purpose for his or her life and I pray tonight that you would just bless them. Pour your blessings out on Mathew, on Tyler tonight. Amen.” Just a simple prayer. But there’s power in that and they need that. Your kids need that blessing. They need that anointing.

We fight a battle that’s so unique. They need to have that anointing from the Holy One.

Let me read something to you. This is research that came in from an internet company where they logged the top one hundred internet searches. Very disturbing. Number four was porn. Number four on the list. For seven to eighteen year olds. Number four on the list of the most popular one hundred searches for kids seven years old to eighteen was porn/sex. The things they’re exposed to now, guys, is just rough. They need that prayer of blessing. They need that in their life.

I dare you tonight to go put your hand on them and pray that prayer of blessing on them. If you’ve never done anything like that, it may freak them out. It’s ok. Enjoy it. There’s nothing wrong with freaking your kids out. Embarrass them while you’re at it. Make the most of any opportunity, that’s what the Word tells us. As a parent it’s our right to embarrass our kid. But pray this prayer of blessing on them.

2) The second thing you can do, real super practical you can do to help your children: Be willing to say no to some good things, to say yes to the best things.

For some of you I’m not going to score many points with you for saying that. I’m just going to tell you that as your pastor we have to say no to some good things in order to pursue the treasure that really matters, in order to put our children on a pathway of serving and loving and knowing God. There are so many good opportunities for our kids. Yeah there’s a lot of bad ones, but there are so many good opportunities out there that we have to say no to some of the good things in order to say yes to the best things.

3) The third thing that we can do is simply look for opportunities to bring God into the conversation.

I think we’ve heard that one or two times throughout the series. Look for opportunities to bring God into the conversation.

4) Number four, talk about your walk with God.

It may even be somewhat short. Maybe you haven’t known the Lord for very long. That’s ok. Your kids need to hear about it. It’s ok, mom and dad, for you and me to learn along with our kids. It shows authenticity. It shows that we’re real. There’s nothing wrong with that. So look for opportunities to bring God into the conversation. Talk about your walk with God with your kids.

5) And the last thing: Have your kids involved in church.

If that means saying no, if that means saying no to a soccer league then say no. I’m a sports nut. I live and breathe it. During the football season my tv stays on the entire football season. It does not go off from Saturday morning through Monday night. I just love hearing the sound. I can’t shoot stuff, so… But sometimes we have to say no to something that’s even good and looks like quality and would build a sense of teamwork in my son and daughter. I’m not picking on soccer. That’s just a real easy target. But we have to say no to some good things in order to get them involved.

This is what we have to support you. According to Deuteronomy we’re not the primary discipler of your kids. My church is not primarily responsible. They’re not the primary responsible party of discipleship of my two sons. I am.

Do I like that all the time? No, because that can feel like a lot of pressure. But I’m just telling you the truth. This is what I have at home. This is what Pastor Kurt and Pastor Josh have with my sons. This is what I have with your elementary students. We love your kids. We love them more than you know. We’re committed to them. But if they’re not here we can’t support you. Like Aaron, Aaron was trying to find every excuse he could. Sometimes I try to find excuses. I don’t want to say no to my kids. I want them to be happy. I want them to think I’m cool. I want them to like me. Sometimes I have to just say no to some good things.

Involve your kids in church. If you have a high schooler we have summer camp coming up for high school students. Sign your high schooler up for summer camp. They need to be a part. They need to connect with other adults who love Jesus and that are committed to them. They need to be in an environment outside the home where they can worship God and where they can connect with their friends, connect with God together.

If you have a junior high student, make it a priority for them to be here. Your elementary kids, have them involved on the weekend and in small group. We have an intentional process that we’ve designed specifically for your family to help them grow and mature in their walk with Christ. But we can’t support you if they’re not here.

In fact, we have some parenting helps that we’ve set up for you guys. Some really fun things. Look at the screen. I want to show you the website. Saddleback Kids website. We’ve just launched a new series called Treasure Tales. We had our series planned long before Pirates of the Caribbean. They ripped it off from us! Just want you to know that.

But if you go to this website you see View, Review, and What to do. Some of you may not know this. We post all of our teaching videos that we do with your elementary and preschool students. We post them here on Monday. You can go there. They’re twelve to fifteen minutes long. You can actually go on our website and watch and see what they’ve learned.

Then you can actually go on to the Review. You click that Review button it’s going to take you to another page. It gives you so many ideas of what you as a parent can do with your child this week to talk about stewardship. Treasure Tales right now is all about stewardship. We have a stewardship bank. Every kid of Saddleback Church on every campus is going to get one of these in a few weeks. They don’t know it yet but they’re going to; because we’re going to be teaching them how to steward every part of their life – their time, their talents, their treasure. We want to come alongside you as mom and dad to teach them how they can responsibly take care of what God has given them. So we have the eighty-ten-ten. You save ten, you tithe ten and you can spend eighty percent.

I’m so happy with this. We never really had something super tangible for the kids to have in their hands. On the back is a verse that says “Moreover it is required of stewards that one be found faithful.” I want you, mom and dad, to be aware of that. These are just quick examples of things that we’ve created for you, the parent, because we’re trying to come alongside you. We’re open to your ideas. We’re open to input that you have. But you are the primary discipler. I am the primary discipler of my child.

As a children’s ministry, as a junior high ministry, and as a high school ministry we are committed to doing anything that we can to help your children, to come alongside you, mom and dad, grandma and grandpa, to help your kids understand that the real treasure is not in the things you see in this world. The real treasure is having a heart that is completely devoted and completely in love with Jesus. Every single part of their being, their heart, their soul, their strength, everything completely tuned in and sold out to Christ. That’s what we want to see happen. To really succeed the way God destined us to succeed, this must happen.

Mom and dad, regardless of what you feel right now, because there are times we talk about parenting even in a series we think, “Man! I’ve really blown it. I sure wish I could go back and start that over.” Remember we said you look at the past long enough to learn and then you focus on the present and the future. I can’t go back and undo the things I’ve done. I can’t go back and do a better job like I wish I could.

But what I can do is start tonight. I can lay my hands on my kid’s shoulder and I can pray God’s blessing on them. I can do simple intentional things to make sure that God’s a part of the conversation.

It’s necessary because if we’re not intentional about it, if we don’t partner together, then Paul’s fear is our fear. And that is if you’re not intentional you’ll fall in the same routines and the same patterns that we’ve experienced generation after generation.

Prayer:

Father, thank you so much for your love and your goodness. You are so good. And Lord, we are so thankful for our kids. You have entrusted them to us and we want to be good stewards of that which you have entrusted in our lives. Father, I pray your blessed anointing on every mom and dad in this room. I pray your blessings and your anointing, Father, on the Saddleback Kids’ team and the junior high team and the high school team who are working so fervently and passionately to partner with these parents to help these kids know about the treasure that really truly is important. And Lord, I pray that regardless of what these moms and dads feel in this moment, I pray, Lord that you could just erase any guilt or any fear or any doubt and help us tonight to take steps, take intentional action steps with what we know we can do with our kids. We thank you for them and we pray your blessings on them. In your name. Amen.